jedibumblebee
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2002 5 October :: 1.58am
:: Mood: restless
this is way too much for me to take right now. i mean, it was already too much, and tonite just tossed some more on the pile. and its too much. gotta lay off those drugs. damn.
i'm so sorry.
3 FeyBebop |
Edward
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jedibumblebee
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2002 4 October :: 7.03pm
:: Mood: determined
So I changed my major. Again. Well, sortof. I'm double majoring now... in Marketing and Social Psychology. The Social Psych stuff is new. It's always been what I was interested in anyhow. I think its more fun to learn about people. I start some more Soc classes next semester. Maybe then I can find out why the world's gone crazy.
1 Fey |
Edward
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jedibumblebee
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2002 4 October :: 7.00pm
:: Mood: awake
so now that i'm a little more sleep-sober i realize that what i said may have been a bit overboard. but too late for that.
i should have said something. done something. but i didnt. i cant. and i wont.
Edward
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jedibumblebee
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2002 4 October :: 12.07am
:: Mood: crushed
ok so its been a bad night.
i cant sleep and my soul hurts.
everyone else seems to know what's going on but me. i'm losing so much by listening to my heart and not my head. but nothing feels right anymore.
i've been basing so much of my college life around this and now it's falling apart.
i just wonder why i get lied to....or at least, why I am deceived. and why i continue to put up with it.
Edward
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jedibumblebee
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2002 3 October :: 5.48pm
:: Mood: cold
:: Music: Ben Folds Five- Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head
I'm never gonna stop the rain by complaining...
An Issue of Fundamentals.
It hurts when someone says things, whether they are beautiful or hurtful, and forgets them.
Even if they forget because they were drunk, it still hurts.
When someone spends an entire night with you in their arms telling you what a beautiful human being you are, and how you occupy their thoughts (even when you shouldn't), and then when they wake up...and it's gone. That hurts.
Or when you finally break down and have a vicious argument... you finally speak your mind, and they admit, they know that what they're doing is hurting you. But they have no intention of changing anything, not a single aspect of what's going on, because the you, the very presence of you, messed up some sort of prior balance that they had in their life. YOU screwed up what they had. That hurts too.
And each time, they wander back in to your life like nothing happened. And you just can't do anything.
How can you be angry when you know that they don't even remember what they did wrong? How can you be content knowing that they told you all these beautiful things that ended up as lies?
But I always give in. That hurts the most.
Edward
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jedibumblebee
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2002 1 October :: 2.56pm
whats the point of putting your foot in your mouth? whatever you're thinking is the same, said or unsaid. and i asked. which means i want to KNOW.
Edward
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jedibumblebee
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2002 30 September :: 10.34pm
:: Mood: lonely
It has the tendency...but what happens when you ignore said tendency?
And are we seperated or joined? I can't tell. Can you?
Who screwed who over? And how is it relevant? I don't need to fall anywhere.
I didnt know that you were reading.
1 Fey |
Edward
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jedibumblebee
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2002 23 September :: 10.18am
:: Mood: crushed
:: Music: No Doubt- Underneath It All
Do you want to love me underneath it all?
owww....
I brought that upon myself i suppose...
so now i shall be rightfully miserable for several days because i got myself way too caught up in this.
its crazy. i think i may have fancied myself in love. its just about the only methodology that makes a bit of sense at all.
"But you see the colors in me
Like no one else
And behind your dark glasses
You're something else."
"And you give me the most gorgeous sleep
That I've ever had
And when it's really bad
I guess its not that bad."
2 FeyBebop |
Edward
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jedibumblebee
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2002 21 September :: 2.27pm
I know now...
I'm not the only one!
bahahaha...
anyway, i slept so great last night...
Edward
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jedibumblebee
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2002 21 September :: 1.55am
i feel like i am the only person who is going to college and liking it and staying here. not a bad thing...no offense to...ummm...everyone? but what the hell happened???
maybe it is because i am the only one at WMU, the best school there is....hmm....go Broncos....
it is just really starting to freak me out.
3 FeyBebop |
Edward
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jedibumblebee
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2002 18 September :: 1.06pm
:: Mood: contemplative
:: Music: Leann Rimes- Right Kind Of Wrong
You walk in and my strength walks out the door, say my name and I can't fight it anymore...I know I should go but I need your touch just too damn much...Might be a mistake I'm making... but what you'r
Off on the right foot...
YESSSSS! I woke up today 15 minutes before I was supposed to be at my first exam of the year that was on the complete opposite side of campus... YESSSS!
I was out too late...again...every night since satuday.
grr...i have tummy pain.
this week is purely escalating in weirdness.
2 FeyBebop |
Edward
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jedibumblebee
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2002 17 September :: 6.33pm
:: Mood: happy
other than that negativity, life is just ducky. I LOVE college life. :0 :) I am happy girlie.
Edward
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jedibumblebee
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2002 17 September :: 1.17pm
if you fucking mention my name one more time i swear. i dont care what i have to do. its been a fucking year, its about time for you to get a life. you're so sick. i will ruin your life and remind you what a mistake you are, and what a waste your life is.
2 FeyBebop |
Edward
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jedibumblebee
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2002 12 September :: 10.50am
:: Mood: moody
:: Music: Modest Mouse- Life Like Weeds
And we know that our hearts are just made out of strings to be pulled...
so my luck is the same wherever i go. this situation feels all too familiar and i still cant keep myself away.
on the bright side of things, I have a "group" that I hang with on a nightly basis. fun kids.
i'm tired of being alone.
5 FeyBebop |
Edward
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