spinder
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2014 6 March :: 6.39pm
Cancer update: Still sucks. Dont get it.
Mortality is an odd concept. When faced with someone you love keeling over it looms large in your mind. It changes alot of how you feel about your own life.
When the protagonist of that story rolls off her death bed and decides to keep living its really a bit jarring. I'm not complaining, its wonderful, but to a certain extent I was very ready to deal with Gloria's death. A lot of mental turmoil goes into preparing for that. For the time being, though, I can continue pretending everyone will continue living forever.
I just realized something while I was typing this. Now I know which of my parents I get my procrastination streak from.
Ahhaha... Dont judge; She'd laugh.
4 listened |
put on your bra
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m&ms487
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2014 17 February :: 9.27am
:: Mood: pensive
I'm twenty-six and probably buying a house in a few months.
put on your bra
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sugarjackj
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2014 14 February :: 2.32am
I feel like a 16 year old girl again. Not the best time in my life...
The same man keeps breaking my heart time and time again.
I can’t help but always be there for him. I am unable to separate myself from him.
And it’s fucking killing me.
I broke up with my past 3 boyfriends. It just wasn’t right. I know this.
But how am I supposed to move on when I gave my whole heart to someone else?
That’s not fair to the men I am dating. And I know that.
What I don’t know is how to make these feelings stop.
Fuck.
After a year and a half of not being with you, you come back into my life and it’s like I’m unable to function. Paralyzed by your presence.
What the hell is my problem.
Why can’t I just leave you and be on my merry way?
I have to do something but am completely at a stand-still.
I would rather have you in my life than not. Even if it’s just as friends. Because after all, you are my greatest friend.
But emotionally I am a shit show because of it.
2 listened |
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spud
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2013 18 September :: 9.01pm
who vs. whom
i am guilty of using who instead of whom often, but not inappropriately using whom. i mostly use it when it's following a preposition. but still. do it for the bourbon. do it for the moustaches.
put on your bra
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m&ms487
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2013 15 September :: 8.47pm
:: Music: Man on Fire-Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros
PhDing and teaching. It involves lots of reading. And grading. Eventually, there will be writing. This year marks my 4th academic publication, and 2014 will hold conference presentations 7-9 at major conferences.
I really hope there will be some semblance of a good job at the end of all of this.
1 listened |
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mochababy49319
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2013 3 August :: 9.31pm
lol
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m&ms487
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2013 31 July :: 3.18pm
We move to Indiana in five days. I start my PhD in two and a half weeks.
1 listened |
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spud
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2013 9 July :: 9.10pm
:: Mood: content
Lake Tahoe
it's hard to stay mad when you live in paradise.
seriously, i love this place. and it is making me a better person in the process.
1 listened |
put on your bra
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sugarjackj
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2013 5 June :: 8.51pm
You're.
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spud
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2013 30 May :: 1.41am
kind of glad i don't have to pay attention to hockey anymore this season.
kind of disappointed i moved to the pacific time zone when the wings are changing conferences next season.
2 listened |
put on your bra
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spud
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2013 23 May :: 8.10pm
fucking tots
1 bag of frozen tater tots
1/2 onion diced
3 cloves minced garlic
1 can large black olives, pitted, strained, and diced
2 tbsp. basil pesto
cayenne pepper to taste
1 fuckload (but not too much) butter
lightly saute everything but the tots. veggies should not be completely cooked, just softened.
toss sauteed mixture with frozen tots in large mixing bowl.
evenly distribute in a casserole dish (metal works better than glass). cover with tin foil.
bake for 30 mins at 425. uncover. bake an additional 15 mins (or until desired crustification is achieved)
don't burn your mouth, and devour indiscriminately.
you're welcome.
3 listened |
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spud
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2013 17 May :: 3.57pm
put on your bra
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spud
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2013 14 May :: 2.37am
so i was asked today why i don't have a michigan accent.
i'm pretty sure it wasn't intended as a compliment, but i took it as one.
2 listened |
put on your bra
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spud
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2013 12 May :: 3.35am
:: Mood: fuckin' weird
greetings, from lake tahoe!
welp. we're here. i was pretty excited on the drive out. there was some drama the night we were supposed to get here, which delayed our arrival until yesterday, so we spent the night in reno. it also put me in a less pleasant space than what i probably should be in. but, it was worked out (ish), so i just need to get over it.
then this morning, mom called to tell me that uncle pete died. i wasn't nearly as close to him as bruce was, but it's still a shock. yet another reminder that none of us are here forever, and something rather opposite a boon to my emotional state. there's still so much in the air. i can't stop trying, that will be the end of it. so i will keep trying. because i have to. but it just doesn't have that thrill of adventure that i was hoping for. it's just a constant oscillation between being awestruck by the fact that i'm here (and here is absolutely amazing, by the way), and mortified that i've made a terrible, terrible mistake.
so, it's great that i'm alone and i'm here and it's super neat. and it's awful at the same time.
i don't know. just keep trucking. that's the main thing.
2 listened |
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