:: 2004 7 June :: 12.27 am

"look at me, my depth perception must be off again, cause this hurts deeper than i thought it did..."

i try and i try, but i still can't stop thinking of you....

"could you find it your heart to make this go away and let me rest in pieces?"

i miss you, and i knew i never should have thought i had a chance... but i liked you since the day i met you... since that day we can't even remember...

"look at me, my depth perception must be off again, you got much closer than i thought you did..."

i just want this feeling that ensues every time i see you to go away... i want you to like me or i want you to go away.. and let me rest in pieces.

:: 2004 6 June :: 1.45 am

can you die from a broken heart?

if it would stop this pain i would right now...

:: 2004 5 June :: 2.05 am

i don't know much... like how things are going to turn out and such... but i do know some things... and one of them is that i don't like this at all. i don't like the way things feel around here, and i guess i never really did. maybe i was looking for a friend, a love, an escape... and you know... maybe i had found it... but if it was love... its over now... i hate the way some things and people change, but i guess change is the only way things keep going. i knew that 21 changes everything, it did with everyone else, why did i think it wouldn't be the same this time. i guess i never really did think it would work out. too good to be true... that sums it up right there. i was always used to friday nights alone at home... but these saturdays that keep coming without feeling are killing me inside. so, i hate to say it, but i know its true... i miss you andrew... and i wish i could just say that much... but i know you wouldn't understand, because it wasn't much that you gave me, just by being there, but to me it was everything. and i honestly would give up everything i have and ever will have to be with you again, just doing nothing like we always seemed to do. because those were the best nights of my life.

:: 2004 4 June :: 1.12 am

i guess kaylle was right...

hearts are broken every day.

:: 2004 1 June :: 12.57 am

love is hell
he's changed i think... i don't know... something about him is different. i don't know... i can't explain it. he's not the same. he was amazing and now he is not the same. i just want my same old wonderful andrew back...

:: 2004 30 May :: 11.02 pm

all the parties are over and the congratulations have all been said. it was nothing special... maybe something to take my mind off things... but it didn't work well. maybe i should have gone on friday night, or maybe i didn't for a reason... i don't even know. i don't even know anything as usual... except for that i miss andrew for some reason. i just miss talking to him and seeing him. again i'd give anything in the world for one more saturday night like then.

:: 2004 29 May :: 5.38 pm

so i guess its strange. i couldn't wait for this, and now that its over, its really hasn't yet set in. i didn't think i would miss anyone, and i'm still not sure that i will... but things just seem different. things just seem so chaotic, and i'm not sure if things are right or wrong yet.

:: 2004 25 May :: 11.25 pm
:: Music: "everytime" - britney spears

:: 2004 25 May :: 12.08 am

i still don't believe that anybody feels the way i do about you now...






please come back...





i miss you...

:: 2004 24 May :: 9.54 pm

"‘Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
‘Cause I LOVE YOU, whether it’s wrong or right
And though I can’t be with you tonight
You know my heart is by your side..."

:: 2004 23 May :: 4.39 am

theress really nothing else to say... i messed up tonight... what was i thinking?/

i don't know...

why is nothing ever right?







i miss andrew so much still...

:: 2004 22 May :: 3.42 am

party tonight. it was a good time. someone told me i was cute... it made me smile. but it just wasn't right.






i miss andrew...

:: 2004 21 May :: 12.28 am

i miss andrew...






...times infinity...






... plus one.

:: 2004 20 May :: 12.48 am

"oh mom, i never thought that i could love no one but tonight i'm on my way... tonight i'm on my way..."


tonight...

tonight...



i miss andrew so much.

:: 2004 18 May :: 12.04 am

i guess theres really nothing i can do but live life as it comes.

oh... and to someone... i miss you so much. but just talking on msn today was worth everything.