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2004 20 November :: 10.53 pm
So this weekend was fun let's count all the ppl who have stopped over
-Cassie Yeo
-Heather Helbling
-Melissa McCall
-Tyler Metzger
-Collin Mull
-Matt Gersheski
-Nate Mulder
-Brent Gunnell
-Noah Clingin
I love you Jean 16. You're short "suprise" is so cute. You're my best friend and I don't know what I'd without my Kabony.
<3 Jess
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You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
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2004 20 November :: 2.58 pm
Last night was fun. Collin, Tyler, Cass, and Heather came over. Lol and we went to rent movies and I picked out for us
-Booty call
-The return of Chuckies Wife
-Gacy
-A cinderalla Story
-Bling Bling
-Bringing down the house
Lol booty call and bling bling were awosme. Then Heather and Cass spent the night. Aww I love all them. Last night was fun.
Heh....a lot of fun.
<3 Jess
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
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2004 19 November :: 2.22 pm
I'm so happy, and relived. I finally almost have my spread done for Yearbook. I just have to wait for the other pictures to come in just to place two pictures in my boxes. Yay! Finally. That's such a relive. You have no idea. And it turned out so much better than I thought it would.
So this weekend I'm hanging out with Brandon, Going to Natalies with Cassie and Lindsey and everyone on Sat. Then hanging out on Sunday. So this weekend should be good. I'm excited.
Yay I'm just in a good mood I miss my pappy today thought.
OH OH, so last night I went to Save a lot with Kate and bought so many Ramon Noodles at least 200 and then today I bought all the raisons out of the vending machine,a nd we still lost :( aww that's sad. But I feel so great, like that I actually helped someone.
Oh Erika, I love you doll face. :)
<3 Jess Lynn
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
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2004 18 November :: 7.53 pm
I had a good day. Just everything wass good. Me and Jess had a meeting with Aspen and it went really good. I just like doing that sort of stuff, and I'm totally comfortable chatting my head off with total strangers. Crazy I know lol. Then after school Will came over and we talked and he watched Joe Dirt with me. I love Willma and I honeslt do not know what I would do without him. He's my best guy friend in the world. And he's the funniest, loving, teddybear in the world. Then I went over to Will's then I went over to Mulders. I just had fun. ...uh yeah, definatly...think he's cute. lol Dont kill me kate ;) i love you kabony!
Jess
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
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2004 16 November :: 3.29 pm
All is well with the world. No more crying.
Jess, Will, Katie, I love you.
AND LINDS!!!!
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You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
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2004 16 November :: 1.40 pm
JUST TALK TO ME UGHS FKAJSDF;LKAJSD
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
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2004 16 November :: 9.10 am
Last night Kate slept with me downstairs, and we just sat and talked about everything on our minds till we fell asleep after ...like midnight. And I can't even begin to tell you or explain to you how nice it was to just get everything off my chest. I just told her everything, about everything. The things that were bugging me and making me mad, and angry, and sad, and happy, and frustrated, annoyed, anxious, just everything. I thinkw eboth just need a break. A break away from this school, from the teachers, homework, quizes, tests, assignments, the guys, the bitchy friends, the rumors, the gossip, the bull shit, all the lies, the drama. Just time away from stuff. Away from people, away from stress. Away from our lifes. I don't know what I would do with Kbony. She's always there for me, no matter what happens, no matter what's going on, she's sticking by my side, and I love you Kate, more than I can explain to you. Jean 16 and Lynn Wildwood will be tight bitches who lite their titties on fire till the day they get run over. ;)
<3Jess
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You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
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2004 15 November :: 9.39 pm
I'm sorry Will and I love you.
Jess I love you and I'm sorry, we need to talk, and I can't go on dealing with this shitty life w/ out you. I need you in my life.
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
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2004 15 November :: 8.54 pm
Stop your bitching and complaining you have a good life. You asshole.
Don't pretend like we're tight, because you know deep down you don't even really feel that way, you just have no one else. So don't even pretend, because do you honestly think I'm even going to treat you like my best friend? Uh, definatly not.
Don't be so selfish.
Get a grip on your life.
Get over yourself, and stop thinking evertyhing revolves around your god damn self, and that everything is JUST about you, because it's definatly not.
Oh, and kiss my ass!
(Jess, don't think this is about you, cos it's definatly not, at all. promise.)
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
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2004 15 November :: 2.44 pm
ugh i hate cedar springs i hate it i hate it i hate it!!! I hate everything about it. The people the smells, the scrubby town sidewalks, the run down shops, the school, and fucked up kids inside of it, I hate ittttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ughh asdkfjal;ksj;laksjfdlk;dfj;l If I have to deal with this shit for two more years I'll honestly shoot myself right in the fucking head.
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You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
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2004 15 November :: 10.58 am
How bad do I want to get out of this school. It's really not the people, or the regular gossip, or outrageous drama...it's the wait. I know I still have two years left. I don't want to wait that long, I can't wait that long. I really cannot stand high school anymore. Some people say it's the best time of their lifes, it's were you meet your best friends for the rest of your life, blah blah blah. Yeah , I've met friends that I do truely love deep down. That mean a lot. But only a few. I probably will never see more than two or three of you after high school again ever in my life. None of this crap in high school is going to matter after I graduate. I wish I was 18, because I would seriously take summer classes this coming summer, so that I would be finished, and then start College in the fall. The more and mroe I think about college, my life after I get out of here, the less and less I care about how things are, how things go. I just feel like this place makes me so immature, and so stupid, and my thoughts and ideas aren't accounted for, because none if it matters when you're a 16 year old cocky, bitch sitting in a classroom. I just want to get away from cedar, move on, to someplace where I WANT to be, someplace where I can start living and devolping the life that I want for myself, not the life I was born into and someone chose for me. I don't like Cedar, I wouldn't ever want to live here. It's too small, it's too quiet, it's too...full of people that I don't like. My history's here, my memories, I don't want something someone picks off a shelf for me. I have my own wants, and goals, and things I want to accomplish, and I can't do any of those things here. I feel so stuck. And I hate it. And it constantly runs through my head, making me hate everything here so much more than I already do.
I kind of feel like all that was for nothing, and it kind of makes me sick to my stomach that you don't care at all. That you're just even more concerned about what caused most of this to begin with. It makes me so angry, so sick to my stomach that I get this feeling that I've honestly never felt before. I'm starting to not care about the situation, but I would never be able to pull off not caring for you. That I will always do. No matter how angry I get. I hate you for not caring about me. For being happy without me. I don't care how that makes me sound to anyone because anyone isn't my concern. You are, were. And I hate you for not caring.
I woke up this morning, with this feeling inside me that I can't explain. Like a weight that I've carried been carried away. But I know that something is coming, I don't know what it is. But I know it's amazing, can save me, my time is coming, I'll find my way out, of this longest drought. I reat life like a picture but it's not a moment that's frozen in time. It's not gonna wait till I make up my mind at all. So while that strom is breakin while there's lifght at the end of the tunnel, I keep running towards it, releasing the pressure thats my heartache. Soon this dam will break.
I guess it just doesn't matter.
*PS*
I Love Kelli!
"Don't forget that pretending to be happy doesn't make you happy and pretending to be smart, doesn't make you smart." That qoute....I tell ya.... makes more sense to me than some of the poeple I've know all my life do.
BAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I hate Cedar Springs!
<3 Jess Lynn
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You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
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2004 12 November :: 10.31 pm
I stood there thinking as I said goodbye. Today's the first day of the rest of my life. I'm going to stop looking back, and start moving on. Learn how to face my fears, Love with all of my heart, and make my mark. I want to leave something here. I want to live, that's what I want to be about. I want to be running, when then sand runs out. Because people do it everyday, promise themselves that their gonna change. I've been there. But I'm changing from the inside out. That was then, and this is now. When they carve my stone they'll write the words "Here lys a girl who lived life for all it's worth."
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
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2004 11 November :: 6.57 pm
The only thing I've accomplished tonight is re-doing my journal. It's looks pretty good.
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You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
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2004 11 November :: 3.28 pm
So I had a pretty good birthday lol. Joey got me by far the best present haha lol. It made my day. Can't tell ya how many times people asked me about that present lol. Oh well, all out of love right. Kate and Jenny are taking me to party tomorrow. Me and Kate are driving up to CMU so it should be fun, and people are coming over tonight for my birthday. :) I had a good day. I cannot believe that you wouldn't wish me a happy birthday, but then again why does it matter because after today, I definatly don't give a fuck, ever again.
Jess
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
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