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2004 30 May :: 3.53 pm
| What is your name?: | Jess | | Are you named after anyone?: | Yes, my Great Grandmother Jess. | | What's your screename?: | Which one? All of them have something to do with kisses or glitter lol, go figure. | | Would you name a child of yours after you?: | No, how orginal is that | | If you were born a member of the opposite sex what would your name be?: | Christopher | | If you could switch names with a friend who would it be?: | Taryn | | Are there any mispronounciations/typos that ppl do w/ your name constantly?: | Yes, it isn't spelled jessie, just jessi, and most of the time I only like to go bye jess anyway | | Would you drop your last name if you became famous?: | no | | Basics | | Your gender:: | female | | Straight/Gay/Bi:: | straight | | Single?: | umm..it's complicated | | If not, do you want to be?: | no | | Birthdate:: | November 11th | | Your age:: | 15 | | Age you act:: | depends who I'm around | | Age you wish you were:: | 16 | | Your height:: | 5"3 | | Eye color:: | blue | | Happy with it?: | yes | | Hair color:: | red | | Happy with it?: | yes, very much so. | | Lefty/righty/ambidextrous:: | righty | | Your living arrangement:: | parents | | Your family:: | their dumb | | Have any pets?: | yes, 3 dogs. Annie, Pepper, and Brandee. Peppers' my baby | | Whats your job?: | school, soon to be computer and the farm lo | | Piercings?: | 5 | | Tattoos?: | none, but I want a star tatoo on my hip, sometime this summer. | | Obsessions?: | computer, real word, one tree hill, shopping, tanning products :) heh | | Addictions?: | you | | Do you speak another language?: | a little spanish, but i suck | | Have a favorite quote?: | To the world you may be one person, to one person you may be the world | | Do you have a webpage?: | um well it's not mine, but woohu | | Deep Thoughts About Life and You in it | | Do you live in the moment?: | sometimes | | Do you consider yourself tolerant of others?: | not really | | Do you have any secrets?: | yes, everyone does | | Do you hate yourself?: | no | | Do you like your handwriting?: | yes | | Do you have any bad habits?: | yes | | What is the compliment you get from most people?: | my red hair | | If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called?: | drama | | What's your biggest fear?: | snakes | | Can you sing?: | yes | | Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool?: | no | | Are you a loner?: | no | | What are your #1 priorities in life?: | god, family, friends, and school | | If you were another person, would you be friends with you?: | yes | | Are you a daredevil?: | sometimes | | Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself?: | i hate feet | | Are you passive or agressive?: | agressive | | Do you have a journal?: | yes, many | | What is your greatest strength and weakness?: | having fun, getting over things | | If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?: | not care soo much | | Do you think you are emotionally strong?: | I dont know, some things I take well, others I don't. | | Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life?: | yes, but hey...I still got a long time to live right? | | Do you think life has been good so far?: | yeah | | What is the most important lesson you've learned from life?: | to look past the moment, something or someone who seems so important at the moment, you tend to get over quickly when you never thought you would or could | | What do you like the most about your body?: | my hair | | And least?: | feet | | Do you think you are good looking?: | sure | | Are you confident?: | most of the time | | What is the fictional character you are most like?: | lol strange question, I'm not sure. | | Are you perceived wrongly?: | who isn't at some point | | Do You... | | Smoke?: | no | | Do drugs?: | no | | Read the newspaper?: | sometimes | | Pray?: | yes | | Go to church?: | yes | | Talk to strangers who IM you?: | no | | Sleep with stuffed animals?: | yes | | Take walks in the rain?: | yes | | Talk to people even though you hate them?: | not carry out conversations, but i'm not mean to them | | Drive?: | god, dont even ask | | Like to drive fast?: | if i could, yes i do like to drive fast | | Would or Have You Ever? | | Liked your voice?: | yes | | Hurt yourself?: | yes | | Been out of the country?: | no | | Eaten something that made other people sick?: | hmm...i dont think so | | Been in love?: | no | | Done drugs?: | no | | Gone skinny dipping?: | no | | Had a medical emergency?: | yes | | Had surgery?: | no | | Ran away from home?: | yes...sorta, then i came back | | Played strip poker?: | no | | Gotten beaten up?: | no | | Beaten someone up?: | no | | Been picked on?: | yeah | | Been on stage?: | yes | | Slept outdoors?: | yes | | Thought about suicide?: | ba | | Pulled an all nighter?: | of course | | If yes, what is your record?: | all night | | Gone one day without food?: | yes 30 hour famine | | Talked on the phone all night?: | yes | | Slept together with the opposite sex w/o actually having sex?: | yes | | Slept all day?: | sorta | | Killed someone?: | no | | Made out with a stranger?: | yes | | Had sex with a stranger?: | no | | Thought you're going crazy?: | yes | | Kissed the same sex?: | no | | Done anything sexual with the same sex?: | no | | Been betrayed?: | yes | | Had a dream that came true?: | yes | | Broken the law?: | yes | | Met a famous person?: | yes | | Have you ever killed an animal by accident?: | an ant | | On purpose?: | yes | | Told a secret you swore you wouldn't tell?: | yes | | Stolen anything?: | yes | | Been on radio/tv?: | yes | | Been in a mosh-pit?: | yes | | Had a nervous breakdown?: | yes | | Bungee jumped?: | no, but i really want too | | Had a dream that kept coming back?: | yes | | Beliefs | | Belive in life on other planets?: | no | | Miracles?: | yes | | Astrology?: | no | | Magic?: | no | | God?: | yes | | Satan?: | yes | | Santa?: | no | | Ghosts?: | no | | Luck?: | no | | Love at first sight?: | no | | Yin and yang (that good cant exist w/o bad)?: | huh | | Witches?: | no | | Easter bunny?: | no | | Believe its possible to remain faithful forever?: | yes | | Believe theres a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow?: | no | | Do you wish on stars?: | yes all the time | | Deep Theological Questions | | Do you believe in the traditional view of Heaven and Hell?: | yes | | Do you think God has a gender?: | yes | | Do you believe in organized religion?: | yes | | Where do you think we go when we die?: | heaven | | Friends | | Do you have any gay/lesbian friends?: | no | | Who is your best friend?: | jess | | Who's the one person that knows most about you?: | jess | | What's the best advice that anyone has ever given to you?: | you'll be okay | | Your favourite inside joke?: | BOMB ASS PUSSY | | Thing you're picked on most about?: | my hair | | Who's your longest known friend?: | jess | | Newest?: | ashley | | Shyest?: | shannon | | Funniest?: | all my friends are funny | | Sweetest?: | shannon | | Closest?: | jess | | Weirdest?: | umm dunno | | Smartest?: | adrian | | Ditziest?: | linds for sure | | Friends you miss being close to the most?: | andy and cass | | Last person you talked to online?: | kate | | Who do you talk to most online?: | kate | | Who are you on the phone with most?: | jess | | Who do you trust most?: | jess, kate, linds, ash, dev, wilma, shea | | Who listens to your problems?: | all ,my friends listen when i need them too | | Who do you fight most with?: | andy | | Who's the nicest?: | all my friends are nice | | Who's the most outgoing?: | jess | | Who's the best singer?: | linds | | Who's on your shit-list?: | im sick of my shit list cos i shouldnt care about ppl on my "shit list" fuck them | | Have you ever thought of having sex with a friend?: | no | | Who's your second family?: | the wildes | | Do you always feel understood?: | no | | Who's the loudest friend?: | hmm..ashley | | Do you trust others easily?: | no | | Who's house were you last at?: | jess's i think? | | Name one person who's arms you feel safe in:: | yours! | | Do your friends know you?: | yes | | Friend that lives farthest away:: | emily | | Love and All That | | Do you consider love a mistake?: | no | | What do you find romantic?: | ehh i dunno | | Turn-on?: | musical | | Turn-off?: | smoker | | First kiss?: | something small and sweet | | If someone u had no interest in had interest in dating u how would u feel?: | uncomfortable | | Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them or going: | yes | | Have u ever wished it was more socially acceptable 4 a girl 2 ask a guy out: | no, i like the way things are | | Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractiv: | I think you have to physically attarcted to like someone | | Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking?: | you tell me | | What is best about the opposite sex?: | amoung most of them, their are some great ones | | What is the worst thing about the opposite sex?: | most of them are asses | | What's the last present someone gave you?: | haha | | Are you in love?: | no | | Do you consider your significant other hot?: | ha | | Who Was the Last Person... | | That haunted you?: | you | | You wanted to kill?: | you | | That you laughed at?: | jess | | That laughed at you?: | jess | | That turned you on?: | dan | | You went shopping with?: | kate | | That broke your heart?: | you | | To disappoint you?: | you | | To ask you out?: | dk | | To make you cry?: | you | | To brighten up your day?: | wilma | | That you thought about?: | dan | | You saw a movie with?: | jess | | You talked to on the phone?: | jess | | You talked to through IM/ICQ?: | jess | | You saw?: | jess | | You lost?: | you | | Right This Moment... | | Are you going out?: | no | | Will it be with your significant other?: | wow | | Or some random person?: | no | | What are you wearing right now?: | shorts and a tee shirt | | Body part you're touching right now:: | none | | What are you worried about right now?: | how to change things | | What book are you reading?: | gossip girl | | What's on your mousepad?: | my mouse doesn't need a mousepad | | Use 5 words to describe how you're feeling:: | confused, happy, excited, relieved, sad | | Are you bored?: | yes | | Are you tired?: | yes | | Are you talking to anyone online?: | yes | | Are you talking to anyone on the phone?: | no | | Are you lonely or content?: | content | | Are you listening to music?: | yes |
Really Long Survey (over 200) brought to you by BZOINK!
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
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2004 30 May :: 2.52 pm
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: John Mayer-Why Georgia
Yay! heh heh
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
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2004 28 May :: 4.55 pm
All the shit that you pull. This is exactly what I’m talking about, and strangly I can’t bring myself to care about how this ends right now because I care too much. all I want to do is push you away, the mutual feeling that I have, and saying a lot more than I already have.
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
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2004 28 May :: 2.22 pm
:: Mood: annoyed
:: Music: Greenwheel-Breathe
It's funny how you only think about the things that really make you not want to think at all anymore.
I'm just so sick of even dealing with, or hearing everyone else talk about dealing with your attiude, your big fucking head up your ass, your rude manors, the way you throw friends away like you throw away trash. It's pathetic. I'm sick of seeing people caring about a selfish bastard such as yourself. You think you're the shit, when really everyone talks about what a miserable asshole you are. I never thought I'd say this, but I'm starting to agree. Hell, I've been agreeing for this whole school year. It's amazing how much you've changed since this past summer. I shouldn't even care because in my mind, I don't even think I knew who you were at all anymore. Mine as well just be another stranger out there. The things you said before, the way you acted, all the times you were there and said you cared and always would be there, it was a complete lie. And don't you think it's pretty sad that myself along with some of your other old friends can say this and you don't even care? Why am I even asking.
I really don't know what it is exactlly, or at least not enough to explain it to you, but in my mind I just think you're making a lot of bad choices. A lot of dumb choices that push our friendship closer and closer to something a lot worse than what we've ever dealt with. Mainly because you care more about other shit that wont even matter four months from now. Then when it doesn't matter anymore, you're going to see why things are the way they are, because you pushed and pushed not thinking it mattered, not caring at the time, and then you're going to fucked, and it's your own damn fault. And I can't bring myself to care at the moment. I know I'll regreat saying this later, b/c chances are it , not chances, it will be okay, it always is. I just inside am so incrediably mad at you for the way you've been acting, and I just dont care enough because I know how you'll react. Like the innocent, conserned, good person you always act like. Then you tell the world, get everyone to take your side, just for me to *throw my hands up and say I quit* because no matter what you always get your way.
Bah, fuck you!
I'm so fed up. I can't wait till school's out. I just don't understand why our school is so dumb. Why not just of had us go to school all day today, and then let school be out, rather than send us on a break and make us come back for two whole days? Cedar Springs Public Schools are a bunch of morons I swear, gawddd...jdlfkja;lkfjaldfj
I'm going to go before I say something I don't mean.
4 comment..choose the best time |
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
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2004 25 May :: 10.00 pm
yup......that is....exactlly what I always say...
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
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2004 25 May :: 9.51 pm
I'm not sure who all of you listen to Dashboard Confessional, but if you don't ..you should. I love their lyrics.
.Standard Lines..
Which of the bold faced lies will we use?
I hope that you're happy, you really deserve it,
this will be the best for us both in the end.
But your taste still lingers on my lips like I just placed them upon yours
and I starve for you.
But this new diet's liquid
and dulling to the senses.
And it's crude but it will do.
Which of the standard lines will we use?
I've been meaning to call you. I've just been so busy.
We'll catch up soon.
Let's make it a point to.
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
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2004 25 May :: 9.37 pm
:: Mood: content
:: Music: Dashboard Confessional-For Justin
I can’t believe this year is already almost over. These past three or four weeks I have been so excited, and today it actually dawned on me that I’m not going to see you people, well most of you anyway for a long time from now. A long time that people always happen to change in, and become a lot different.
This entire year all I’ve said is this year was one of the worst years that I have ever had, I cried more than I smiled, I complained more than I was filled with excitement, and fought with more people than I ever have in my life. For the most part up until now I’ve just wanted to forget this year, learn from it and move on. Now, I see there were so many good things that came from it, and it could have been a lot worse than I claim it was.
In the beginning of the year I was still unsure of myself, still doubtful as to who I was because up until this year I’ve changed who I was depending on who I was hanging out with. Not my real self consitantly. Then I started to see that it doesn’t matter, and the less and less I cared. Mostly because of certain people. The people who have always been there for me, the friends I know to always be true to my heart when I ask them to be. And the friends that have made me miserable. Without them too, I would still be a step backwards to who I use to be.
I’m not saying I’ve changed more than ever, but greatly I most certainly have. This entire year I had been looking for something I thought that I needed, and basically screwed myself over trying to get it. I lost a lot of things, and gained so much in return. I lost a year, or the state of mind for a long time, letting myself hurt way more than I should have. I’m just glad it happened now, because you can’t truly know what real happiness is if you’ve never known what real sadness is…and I have. I learned trust is just something that can be thrown around, and it has to be earned and sometimes once it’s been taken away, it’s gone …for good and there is nothing you can do but see where you went wrong and try not to stumble next year.
More than ever people have changed me, the way they always do. Phil, Dylan, Jacki, Heather, Kendra, Tyler, Lauren, Katy, Amanda, Susan, Steve, Mike, Tony, Caleb,
Devon, Janie, Lindsey, Brandee, Trisha, Dan, Kevin, Katie Jo, Andrew, Brianna, JD, and if I forgot you I’m really sorry, it’s not because you’re not important it’s because I’m just dumb and have a bad memory.
Ashley has shown me how to let go, to just live life with a smile one your face, a laugh out loud, and to just be you. I can’t begin to describe how glad I am we met in New York, but the girl brings out a side of my no one does.
Willma is guaranteed to be the one person , the only person to make me truly laugh until I’m crying when I’m having a bad day. He’s my best friend, he has the biggest heart, and I love him to death.
Amy has been the complaining ear that always listens to my bitching. Heh. She understands because she’s been there, and understands that saying you don’t care and it doesn’t matter is a lot harder than actually really feeling that way. She cares because she can relate.
Shannon is always and will always be the sweetest friend I have. Everything she does, the way she laughs the way she smercks, the way she talks is always so cute. She can’t be mean, and always is the biggest sweetheart to everyone and I love her for it.
Kate brings out the crazy side to me. Which also brings out the part of me that doesn’t care about all the dumb stuff. She’s the only friend that I can get that crazy with and still actually talk to , and have a real conversation with, or cry with. I love everything about the way she shows me what I have deep down inside of me.
Andy because no matter how much he makes me sick seeing how he can just act the way he does, I’ll always still somehow see him in the back of mind as who he use to be, and as much as I want too, for his sake..I can never let that image go.
Cassie because after so long she is still one of the best people to keep me sane. To show me when I’m messing up, and that I don’t need to change because the way I am is the way people love me already.
Linds because the girl good lord can make me laugh and is the bubblest girl I know. I don’t know where I would be without that girl. Her heart is so genuine and real, shes my best friend I run too when I need a good talk, shes one of my bestfriends period.
Devon because somehow we always manage to be okay, and she always somehow manages to give me a sense of pride that no one else gives me. And because I know that she is truly a good person.
And of course Jess, my bestfriend in the entire world, she’s a part of my family, and her house is my second home. No one understands me better than she does, not even myself. A bestfriend is someone who knows all about you and loves you anyway and there is nothing I hide from her, nothing she doesn’t see, nothing she doesn’t heart, nothing she doesn’t know. Without her my life would be the darkest place, and I would never and could never be the same person I am today. Almost every good thing about me I get from her, she makes me want to be the best person I can be, and she’ll never know what she means to me, because without her, I don’t know what I would do, or where I would be, so I’m thankful I’ll never have to deal with that.
9 comment..choose the best time |
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
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2004 25 May :: 7.49 am
Me and Jess hung out yesterday after school and then went to the concert at the kent. It wasn't that fun, not because of the music. It was actually pretty good. But becasue for 1, it was supose to start at like 6 or before and ended up starting at like 7:30 wtf is that? and I had to go home at like 8:10 so it was a total waste of 5 bucks. I dind't even ge to see the second band finish. Oh well I was in a bitchy mood anywase, I don't care.
I just want school to be over. how many more days??? 4? if you put the half days together. yay!
I hate you for everything you've done to everyone. You stupid asshole. You're the dumbest person I know.
Well...off to school. What fun!
Oh woohu's blocked at school again, how great. Probably because stupid morons can't do their school work and just go to woohu instead during class. People are dumb.
<3Jess<3
3 comment..choose the best time |
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
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2004 23 May :: 5.16 pm
Certian times like that make me think it's all worth it.
only really to me 6 days left! woot woot!
Soon it wont matter
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
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2004 23 May :: 12.39 pm
Me and Jess had such a good night lol. I swear we are crazy, gotta love it! I love my best friend, no one can make me laugh so hard in the middle of the woods, running around in the rain, thunder, and lightening. I love ya Jess.
Ahh school tomorrow, why do they even make us go anymore, nobody even cares at this point. We're all just counting down the days till we don't have to come back again.
1 comment |
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
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2004 23 May :: 11.44 am
wtf you don't just say something like that?!? What the fuck?
1 comment |
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
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2004 21 May :: 11.07 pm
Everytime I speak your name, see your face, hear your voice, remember anything about you, I cringe inside. I cringe knowing that I believed you, I cringe knowing that I trusted you, I cring knowing that I cared for you, I cring knowing that I knew you. All the times I told myself the hurt was worth it, all the times I defended you, stuck up for you, denied to people that you weren't the asshole everyone thinks you are, the joke was on me. Thinking maybe it mattered, maybe you would change, just maybe now I know nothing will. You weren't the idiot for being the ass that you are, I'm the idiot for thinking that isn't who you are. I do from time to time stop to think if the way things are is my fault. then I snap back into reality and see what I never saw all along. That I don't need you, I don't need to you vent too, I don't need you to make me laugh, I don't need you to brighten up my day, I don't need you in anyway to make me happy. Because in the end you caused me more tears, and tore me to shreds more than you could ever make me smile, and I don't need that either. I stop to think how I ever let myself care about such a cynical asshole like you , and deal with the crap that you put me through for so long..because I swore to myself that would never be an option, but it was. I did put up with you, and I did let be an ass to me. I can tell it to the world that I never actually let you cross my mind anymore, but you do. And for a brief moment I think to myself, ...get over it, it's okay...then I remember all the times that this year has been a living hell because you made it that way. Because you purously bring down other people to relieve your stress and anger. A part of me still sees everything how it was, but the rest of me CANNOT wait for you to be completely gone, to finally throw the only source of drama, stupidity, and pain out of my fucking life. Because the next time you stop and I cross your mind, I'll be over everything, and on with my life. You say I'm only mad because you hurt me, well do you think I'm denying the fact that you made me feel like shit over and over again this year, that you crushed me over and over, everytime you lied to me, everytime you were a fuckhead to me , everytime I fell for you stupid shit, every fucking time! What a waste of my fuckig time. I cannot even begin to describe how hurt I am, it use to be because of you, not it's because of myself, because I am so blind to shit like this! So hurt to the point where sometimes it takes my breath away. It's okay though because at the end of the day, I'm okay with myself, you on the other hand. So many people hate you! Everyone thinks your an asshole, because you are! and then when someone points it out you get defensive and just become a little bit more of who you already are. I'm okay with you treating me like shit, because I'll get over it, and everday it matters less and less because your not worth any of the stress anyone causes themself over you, but we all pitty you because of the way you treat people and you think that it doesn't matter. Sooner or later you'll see that it matters a lot more than you think it does.
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
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