::
2004 17 March :: 8.39 pm
Bah today, yeah....I dunno. It was just all....blah and after English
it got worse. Normally English is the high point of the day cos me
and Jess always are crazy, and Mrs. Center is awsome and she
always just laughs at us, or joins in lol. But yeah...not today. Mrs.
Millard was there. I don't mind her. It's just she isn't as ...understanding
when it comes to me and Jess being ...well stupid and immature. She
doens't find it funny, like Mrs. Center does. Yeah so I dunno it just
wasn't fun. And I dunno... lol it was funny, Mrs. Millard was walking in
front of me and Jess today on the way to lunch, and she had an open box of peppermiant patties, the small ones. and she kept dropping them and
she didn't notice, and it was like a trail of little pellets down to the lunch
room then she finally noticed when me and Jess were laughing our butts
off, felt kinda bad, but she didn't care. I think she thought it was actually
funny, lol I sure did. But yeah then Choir yeah my ankle still hurt and
everything is so crazy in choir this week and busy because we have district on Sat. and were hosting so yeah. I dunno next week will be fun
when we can actually relax again. Me and linds get to hang out Friday night and wake up bright and earlie to guide like rockford all mens choir or something lol. So yeah...I better not have to be the one to wake Linds up. Yeah...so back to my day. Went to Geography, lets just not talk about
that it was so stupid. And it wasn't good, at all. Story ends there. After school me and Jim went home, I really think I like him. He's so sweet, and he's always been like a brother since we were kids, but now...I dunno it's nice having someone who lives next door, who you know a lot about, knows a lot about you, you're comfortable around, your families are best friends, work together, hang out a lot, and stuff. So I dunno we'll see. Then at softball a bunch of freshman are getting moved up, and I was like catcher, and there's this really good freshman who's a catcher,s o I'm a little worried, but just gotta work hard, and no worries. Yeah. So yeah coudln't go to the game cos I coudln't catch a ride w/ anyone cos practice went so late. So I wasted 5 bucks of my own, for nothin! I know it doens't sound like much, but when your broke and dont have a job, and are saving up for a car....trust me...it is! So yeah....I do hope the guys win though cos then tomorrow we dont have practice. Which will be nice cos my ankle has really been killin me. But ahh I luv softball, nothing's better. But yeah....hmmm what do I think about this? I think I still think I made a mistake letting you go...but I'll live with it. And for you..I'm not sure if it'd ever work, because I'm always the one still letting you take and crush my heart and put it back together again all the time, and eventually the pieces will be too small to glue together again. I don't want to deal with that all the time. It's not fair to either of us, espically me. Hmm yeah my parents are being so dumb again. Honestly....when i can drive next year....god I'll be so much happier than I have been in a long time. Trust me. Yeah, nick got his liscense today :( I'm so fucking jealous of everyone! Oh well, I'm gonna go before I rage. All my luv, Jess.
3 comment..choose the best time |
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
::
2004 15 March :: 9.59 pm
yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM SO FRIECKEN HAPPY! heh it's so great. ahhhhh yay! I just hope it sticks for a while.
<3 always, Jess.
1 comment |
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
::
2004 15 March :: 9.37 pm
lah lah lah....hmm....what do I think about this? I think I don't care.
One thing though, you people who have nothing better to do than read something, assume, and gossip, you're dumb. Really. Get a life. If you have so many problems, focus on you're on. I think some people have forgotten the definition of a journal, and I clearly don't care who reads it otherwise it woudln't be on the internet. But don't be stupid. Really, c'mon now.
Yeah, so what time does the game start Wensday, anyone know? Let me know if you do.
Luv, Jess.
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
::
2004 15 March :: 11.04 am
:: Mood: annoyed
Really, c'mon now!
Ughhhh!!!!!! I'm really sick of people. I'm surrounded by my friends, and I really can't stand some of them. Don't get me wrong, some are the sweetest, greatest people I will ever know. But some...are just such fake jackass's. Ahhhh....really I want to just tell you, what a moron you are when you do stuff like that, how stupid it is. How risky it is, but you just dont give a fuck. So oh well when you mess up, ....can't say I didn't say so. It's retarded. How do people have such shit for brains? Ughhh this summer better fucking hurry it's tooshie up and get here. Because I really can't stand too much more of this. The only good thing about this week, is Softball starts. That's it.
Ahh Biology was nice. Me and Heather rambeled back and forth to each other about everything, which was nice. And Devon before school, that was nice too. Ahhh yeah, I'm gonna go.
Jess
1 comment |
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
::
2004 13 March :: 8.56 pm
" hmmm....you're an asshole....who lies, who cheats, who decieves, and you're a lying slutty back stabbing bitch.
enough said? "
well well...intresting.
4 comment..choose the best time |
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
::
2004 13 March :: 10.00 am
:: Mood: intimidated
:: Music: Blink 182-Stay together for the kids.
She comes out whent he sun goes down. Her shell opens and shes left with herself. Everyones asleep in the world as she sits on her bed and listens to John Mayer sing about what love is or could of been. Every new day she throws on another fake face, forgetting that pretending to be happy, doesn't make you happy. Of course bad days she throws in maybe more so than happy to make so more believable, not just for everyone else, but herself too. But the only person shes kidding, is herself. She doens't know if she's really telling herself the truth. They tell her not to worry, it's just a part of life, part of high school, part of all of us. But she leaves certain pieces out of the picture and out of the story. The way she thinks it should be. But she's the only person thinking with her head just to protect her heart. Everyone knows, including her that her intensions are good ones. Ones with your best intrest at heart. She's serious when she holds you close. But what it worth when your always falling, faster than you can get back up again. Lifes too short, too short to live it as a bad person anyway. She crusl up after long, rainy, hours of trying to puzzle up the pices of her life, as young as it is. They just never seem to fit. No matter how hard she trys. Or anyone for that matter. Maybe that's her problem she tells herself. Maybe she just trys too hard to be happy, again that it just ends up defeating the entire purpose. She's afraid to fail, she's afraid to succeed. Which leaves her where? So many questions, but not enough answers. She looks around, and only few of the faces are true. A girl who has always been there in the past pictures of fieldtrips to the zoo, cedar point, michigans adventures, vacations with the family, pool parties and more. THe same girl who will be in the future pictures of my weeding, maide of honor, the girl to throw my bachlorett party, to make the toast at my reception, to throw me my baby shower, to have our kids grow up next door to eachother, to still be there when were old, and almost dead. And the face of him, the only other person who knows her, loves her un-condtionally, protects her, saves her, understand her. That's it. Everyone else has let her down before, heart heart is just still trying to re-build like everyone else. Its the first thing to put a real smile back on her face, back in her heart again after a long long time. But she can't seem to find a way to make love simply be love without time. She needs time, and thens he knows in her heart everything will work out for the best. But the only ticking clock in her head poping a question is the one that asks, "What if it's too late?" Time is the healing answer to any great or small aches, espically an ache of the heart. Her life is a path that no one but her can stear. She can do it. She knows she can. The only thin she truely questions....is what way to go?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yeah...ignore that. So I've been sick. Today's the first day I've actually been able to get up and walk around for more than 10 minutes. Pretty nice. heh. So yeah. That's about all. Oh if anyone knows if we won Firday let me know, and where the next game is?
Jess
2 comment..choose the best time |
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
::
2004 10 March :: 3.31 pm
ughh I swear, you better back off.
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
::
2004 10 March :: 2.41 pm
What a lovely suprise. All of a sudden Jon's car shows up in my driveway, thought it was my sister cos she has the same car. Then boom Linds is knocking on my door lol she comes in, says "Get your stuff, were going to lunch." We leave, it's me Kate Linds Jon and Dan laatz. Um yeah didn't get anything cos I already had lunch...kinda pointless. Then went to the Johnson's house for a little bit to watch a basketball game, Yeah, took Jon's car down the road and back. That was fun. Heh espically wheny ou're the one driving, oh yeah, and when you're sitting in the passenger side of the car, and you're the one driving. Always fun. Came back, watched some more. Then brought me home. The suprise was nice. yeah. Going to the game tonight w/ Kate. Should be fun. Yupp. Well I should probably go do something w/ the rest of my day before the game. Toodles. Lov always Jess
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
::
2004 10 March :: 12.01 pm
:: Mood: angry
:: Music: Kenny Chesney-Think about everything
How is it ?
How is it, one day your you, and the next day, your him? Sweetheart......Asshole. You just don't make sense to me anymore.
I give up.
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
::
2004 8 March :: 10.08 pm
yay! me and Andy are good again! Ahhh I missed him!
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
::
2004 8 March :: 8.58 pm
:: Mood: crushed
:: Music: Kenny Chesney-When I think about everything.
Well yeah...forget it.
So yeah, fuck that I guess. Oh well, I honestly don't care that much, because I couldn't have worked it out anywase. It's the fact that you don't even say a damn word that hurts so much. Ahh fuck this! I don't care. It's my own fault, well it's not becaue it's no one's fault. I mean, we said what we said. djfkajdfkajdlfkjadlkfjalkdfj
From now on for a long time, I'm just going to focus on me. Not anyone else. Me! I want to be happy with me, before I worry about including certain people into my "happiness plan" Yeah....sounds like a good plan.
I miss you summer!!!!!!!!!!
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
::
2004 8 March :: 1.47 pm
:: Mood: anxious
:: Music: Squeky Chairs in Media Center
blah blah blah
HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAPPY PANTS! I HOPE YOU HAD A GREAT DAY! HAPPY SWEET 16!!! :( *TEAR* YOU'RE GROWING UP SO FAST!
hmm...today's been okay. Nothing new. TV production was really annoying. It kinds is dumb that after more than half a year, almost 3/4 of the way threw the school year, people can't get frieceken announcments right. Yeah, stupid. Umm biology was nice! heh Algebra, did good on my test for once. I was really happy. Lunch was good. english, ehh alright. I hate the book "how to kill a fucking mocking bird" it's so friecken stupid! anywase. choir, pretty good. Geography i'm in the media center cos we have a free day because no one finished their work, i did yay1 so I get to blow off last hour. yay! then me and Kate are going to the mall after school. yay! i'm excited! well yeah that's about it.
You.....need to do it ! just do it! lol...that sounds funny! but i'm being completely serious, JUST DO it! lol
<3 jess
2 comment..choose the best time |
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
::
2004 7 March :: 10.09 pm
:: Mood: blank
:: Music: Kenny Chesney-When I think about everything
Try once, then I'll try it twice.
I'll never forget.....
"I'm still waiting, still wondering. It's something most people don't get, ever. Once in a life time it comes around, built on faith and trust. I love the way we talk, the tender way we touch. When I think about eveyrthing, I think about you, I think about us. I care so much, you say you care too. I want it more than anything, we both know that to the deep of the bottom. But I don't want it right yet. It wouldn't fit right now, but very soon, the pieces will be re adjusted to fit. Then, ....then nothing could be more perfect. I wonder why I was so blessed for you to come into my life, I wonder why I was so lucky to get to know you, to hold your hand, to see you smile, to feel you kiss. If I could grant you one wish, I wish you could see the way you kiss. After all the time that has ever gone bye, you always still end up holding my heart in your right hand. With the capability to make me the happiest girl, or the saddest. I know it doens't make sense, with right now, but later it will. Just trust me on this one, I know it could be better, later. When I think about leaving, I think about you. Our love is comfortable, so broken in. You see from the side I do. You see what I see, and you hear what I hear. After everything I can't get you out of my mind. We've made it threw hell and back, and still lasting. It assures me, of so much. I know you don't see it, but you're heart reaches as high up as the sky. There's no one I would ever want to understand, more than I love understanding you. No one else who makes me smile as much as you do. No one who makes me as crazy as you do. No one else is you. And when the right time comes, love will be love, and perfect will be perfect. I promise I'll prove it to you. Just wait, I promise."
Hmm....answer me....what is that?
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
jalkdjfkajdflkjadlkfjaldkjflasdjf woo...that was a close one!
<3 Jess
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
::
2004 7 March :: 9.13 pm
:: Mood: aggravated
:: Music: Ying Yang Twins-SaltShaker
ITSSSSS ALLL I WAAANNNTTT
Why is it so friecken difficult to understand how your mind works? Why does this have to be so friecken hard? Why can't you just open up to me, you can...you know you can. So just please do it already.
yeah.....on another note went to the movies last night. Story ends there.
Today got up called jess, drove 2 hours, saw my family i I haven't in awhile, drove home. yeah now I'm here.
Enough of that. lov Jess
2 comment..choose the best time |
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
::
2004 6 March :: 5.41 pm
~*~NUMBER TWO~*~
FFFUUUCCCKKK
YYYOOOUUU
!!!!!!!!
Nope, not a better day.
<3Jess
3 comment..choose the best time |
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
|