Class in a few minutes. Then on to filling out scholarship applications. Money.
Why is it that we feel it's necessary to have the largest budget deficit ever to kill people, but we can't spend that same money on, oh, say, education, or converting every single coal plant into using biofuel?
Spring Break was last week. I didn't do much except work forty hours. Cranky people. Why is everyone so cranky?
The sun stays out until eight now. That should help me adjust my sleeping schedule. I was beginning to miss the sun.
Waves of nostalgia.
I had fresh out-of-the-oven brownies with french vanilla ice cream on top last night. It was like heaven.
So... I'm doing my usual re-hash the past thing. Whatev. The point is that between last night and now I've been scanning some of the old songs that I used to listen to alot. We're talking my freshmen/sophmore year. This has been a couple week process but I"m not making a list so I can look at it later when I forget about these songs again, plus maybe you'll see something you remember from way back when and we can have a moment... together!
List of Songs:
Weezer - Say it ain't so ( I thank stewart for this song which started this journey), El Schorcho, Sweater Song, Buddy Holly, etc. It's weezer, just about every song is a "bring back good times" song.
Lost Prophets - Shinobi v. The dragon ninja/ Fake Sound of Progress. Dusty and I used to crank this song alot.
The Get Up Kids - I'll catch you/ Holiday. I totally forgot about this band. summer of 8th grade man... god damn I'm old.
All-American Rejects - Last Song. Wasn't always their biggest fan but I loved this song.
That fucker Chris Carraba - Living in your letters/ Bitter Pill. I know... I know... But there was a time, even if he is a narcassistic asshole who wines till he gets his way. Plus I'd be lying if I said I didn't still like the bitter pill song. I think it's the progression that gets me. Maybe I'm gay, who cares...
311 - Well, you know, just about every song, but if I had to be specific I'd say All Mixed Up/Confusing Use of Time/Purpose. Confusing Use of Time was a song that reminds me of Ski Club, those were the best of times.
Incubus - Anti-Gravity Love Song/ Here in my Room. I still listen to these, of course. But based on the whole vibe I have going, the songs are transcending their usual sounds and providing me with some good emotions. Summer Romance is a dusty standard from a LONG time ago, and here in my room will always be me and Chris, that fag. I love you.
Brand New - I still hate them. Gotcha bitches! And don't you forget it future Kevin. Classic me, really.
Thursday - How Long is the Night. Hilary turned me onto them, and I still like them like I like TBS. Not really fond of their newer stuff though.
Bad Ronald - Let's Begin (Shoot the Shit). Dude... how did I not know what this song was about? I guess I was 15.
311 - Tribute - I know I said 311 already... but I totally fucking forgot about this song, and I was borderline stalker obsessed with this one.
Blink182 - Party Song/Josie. Dusty made his TV pro video to Josie and we did a bunch of "jackass" stuff., and the other one is just fun.I refuse to put any other songs up there, because they hold no super significance to me other than the ones I may have attempted to play in a band.
Rival Schools - My Echo. Another one hilary turned me on to. Good times, you should look it up. here I'll do it for you. http://www.last.fm/music/Rival+Schools/_/My+Echo
FenixTX - Threesome. Lol. I know, I forgot about it too! If I were any older when this song came out it would have been my mantra. Because you both deserve a good time, and any position ;).
Silverchair - The Greatest View/ Emotion Sickness/ Ana's Song / Hell pretty much the entire "Neon Ballroom" album and then some. Probably who I view as one of the most underrated bands ever. THey had hit's sure, but Neon Ballroom is timeless and is some of the most Musically competent "alternative" music ever. Go Aussies.
The Vines - I'm only Sleeping (Cover). I thought it was well done to their style, plus I loved the vines, and God Knows I HATED the Hives... I dont' remember why though. I think it was a song they did I just thought was obnoxious. Who cares...
Taking Back Sunday - Ghost Man on third/ There's no "I" in team/ that whole first album. Very few people I know weren't into them at some point. I did my TV Pro video to Ghost Man, and it came out alright. Remember the Trilogy.
Something Corporate - If you C jordan/ 21 and Invincible. C'mon, we all know if you C jordan. and here I am now, 21 and Invincible.*tear* /wrist
Glassjaw - Worship and Tribute - Thanks Chuck for that one.
Saves the Day - At your funeral/ She
I'm sure there's more, but that's enough for now. Instead of dwelling any further I'm moving towards the future. If there is, however, any songs that you remember that I have not listed that you tie someway to me and you know I'd remember, let me know.
so i had this dream that kevin, andy sischo, jay from high school with red hair, phil maas, and other people were walking around trying to kill me and justin bloss and other people with these lazer gun thingys and they had these things that zapped us and hurt like hell. it was terrifying.
stop trying to kill me! me and justin killed andy with a shovel. and sam hamilton tried to help me by telling me the code to shut off the lights.
You know... everyone was all talkin about how they'd like to bone the girl in the green dress. I don't know... the whole time I'm thinking, I kind of want to have sex with her maid.
I received my letter of acceptance, which means that it's official. I leave september 1 and will not be back until May. Believe me, I was estatic to hear it. The only problem is that now they want me to give them a million things in a week. It's like a really stressful scavenger hunt. Kind of fun, really.
What would you do for a klondike, or two dykes that look Christina Milian like? yeah, I'd be on time for that...
Stopped by the bookstore today. Noticed that the girl working the front desk was quite attractive. She really pulls off the hot librarian scheme really well, and in the end comes out looking fairly sincere. "I'd hit it," is the phrase I guess I would use. The way she asked me if I had any Bulldog Dollars, mmm mmm mmm.
Maybe I was so turned on by the $30 I saved by going to that bookstore in the first place. I hate Ferris and their horrible price mark-ups on their books. They want my soul, man.
I just finished writing a super cheesy autobiographical essay for my English 201 class. Something along the lines of: "Literature is humaness, it is unique" blah blah blah.
I'm planning on cleaning, though, but that shouldn't take very long. Maybe an hour or two. I have the day off tomorrow, too, due to a Kappa Kappa Psi service project.
They hired some more people at work, which is nice because I'm working less , but...I'm working less than I want to. I got cut from 32 hours a week to 15. I could settle somewhere around 24 (three days a week, eight hour shifts). That would be just fine with me.
Anyway, maybe I can use today to make my educational plan and figure out what I should minor in.
Maybe I can use it to play the Sims 2.
Maybe I should catch up on my portfolio in creative writing.
But I'll probably just sit around and drink and eat.
So I had this dream that I was on a tropical island, drinking a mojito (does that mean I'm gay? oh only if the mojito was wearing loafers) and walking down the beach. Then I saw Bill and Phil with laptops but they wouldn't talk to me. I kept on walking and saw a plethora of old high school friends, but none of them seemed to want to pay any attention to me, so I kept walking. Then there was a John Mayer song playing in the background ( yep, gay), one of the old ones. And then I saw Andrea Groner, and she said Hi. Then I woke up.
You see Andrea, as creepy as I may be, this is inevitable... :P
no more 3x5's Andrea, no more 3x5's...
On a less creepy note, good weekend ahead of me, but first I must get through class today. I managed to get all the homework done for b-law despite the ridiculous requests the professor makes.
I've managed to wash my hands relatively clean though... and it feels good, and is a plus for my mental status. From now on one step at a time, no more trying to change everything at once. Should be interesting, I'll keep you posted.
so i honestly just fell asleep during my chemistry midterm. i mean it's not a huge deal since i still was able to finish it on time, but damn. i'm 99% sure that in the midst of my nap, i laughed outloud during the total silence because i was having some sort of dream thing and laughing at something roman said... it kind of jolted me out my sleep momentarily but yeah i'm pretty sure i did a snort/kind of laugh thing. embarassing. also my professor came up to me i'm not sure if that's what woke me up or if i just felt her presence and woke up on my own .... i was just like "sorry" and she was like "oh you're just takign a break" and I was like ummm yeah but i'm done so its okay...even though i wasn't.
i can't take school anymore. every test i take i just want to get done so bad i just fill in letters. god i'm so bad i know. i just ...........ugh i hate tests.
ughghghgh i seriously just want to quit school so bad. i want to! i have these major doubts i wont make it all the way through so why am i wasting my time now. what will happen if i get a bad grade in even ONE of my classes? i will lose my scholarship and then what? i have no idea. maybe roman and i should just move to ohio and he should work for his dad and make big bucks.
I'm busy and I'm stressed out, still...always, forever, I suppose.
I keep putting off things that I should be doing. Laundry, a four page paper due on Thursday.
I like not doing anything. Coming home, watching t.v for a while, going to bed. It's wonderful.
I feel like I"m at a time in my life where I should be doing great things, where I should be getting ahead for my career(s), where I should start impressing some important people. Except...I'm stuck. All my extra time is spent working at Meijer, and when I have a day off, I use it to sit around and do nothing in an attempt to recover. I hate living like this. It's so hard.
It's so hard to have to miss out on so many things and miss opportunities, and the best part is, I wouldn't have to work if I was a first generation college student, or I was an "under represented minority in the college environment." I could get all kinds of money. But no. I work my ass off, and what will I get? Twelve thousand in debt and grad school. Maybe things will be different by the time I get to grad school...but yet again, that's nearly three years away.
Until then, I"m stuck here, living in some kind of American dream that really feels like hell.