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fluttering beats in the dark

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:: 2018 5 August :: 10.43 pm

even though she still feels haunted

haunted

haunted

are you reaching out


:: 2018 3 August :: 10.20 pm

it's has always been this way

and to many people i'll always be the same

a broken record of broken thoughts but really I have been going to work regularly for 8 years with a corporation I loathe and in a career I despise but hey at least it pays my debts? it could be worse or course.

after my most recent break down I decided to have a better attitude it's lasted a month or so, but I'm slipping. I start working from home on Monday so I think that'll help ease the pain that comes with being a cog in the corporate murser machine.

at least I know insurany helps more people than it hurts. I mean nothing is perfect and no one will always be 100% satified but how many people could truly replace all the shit that is lost when you lose it all? I mean I guess it sucks if you never have to use it, but think about it like paying it forward in a really big way.

maybe I'm brainwashed but I tell myself these things so I can sleep at night.

I should adopt a cause. but in the face of these insurmountable obstacles I can't even pick a place to begin.

I just need some direction please. just a little would help

are you reaching out


:: 2018 31 July :: 9.40 am

this smoke doe

like it's normal for the world to burn every summer

like the world isn't warming up

are you reaching out


:: 2018 29 July :: 8.18 am
:: Music: post malone

she told me that I'm not enough



and left me with a broken heart

are you reaching out


:: 2018 28 July :: 1.43 am

looking at the future:

going off that roller coaster in Vegas only it isn't going to stop at the edge

we need to full stop and figure out climate change

then all these social issues we created with this souless industrial military complex.

the planet isn't a body we control, it's the body we live on. kill our mother and that will be the end of whatever it is that makes homo sapiens the "special" species.

my heart aches and my head races. I just smile and nod, but inside I'm screaming.

why can't I find my voice?

are you reaching out

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