catatonicsean
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2014 20 July :: 5.22am
:: Music: T. Rex - Ride a White Swan
I feel as though an earthworm is burrowing through my brain. Not a headache, doesn't feel like it's some throbbing from without my skull, and it happens at regular intervals.
Felt like muck at work on Friday; botched the whole thing and simply returned home feeling ill, but not in a germ-ridden snotty sort of way....more like drained-of-soul variety fatigue. Woke up today fine, went though my day, but as it drew to a close began to feel something akin to throbbing life in my brain. Odd.
Not worried, concerned, anything....don't care. Tomorrow is my last day off before I return to Limbo, and nothing else occupies my thoughts aside from that.
I don't necessarily still want to die, but I'd certainly like to go mad and have some time away from the world.
are you reaching out
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catatonicsean
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2014 12 July :: 9.34am
I miss my youth.
are you reaching out
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catatonicsean
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2014 12 July :: 2.01am
:: Mood: lethargic
:: Music: Sabbat - Do Dark Horses Dream of Nightmares?
I've, for one reason or another, converted my Ontario Provincial Police rain jacket into a battle jacket.
Lovey bought me an Agalloch back patch when we saw them live, and the rain jacket was the only jacket I hadn't began putting weird decorations/declarations of taste and intent on, so I figured "What the hell? Why not?"
I had originally intended to sew it on, but after a couple attempts and a drastic fit of impatience, eventually the patch ended up being partially stapled, partially fabric glued on, then I proceeded to load it with band buttons and it spiraled out of control. I have designs on a few choice logo patches to eventually have a female sew on, seeing as the women in my life can accomplish this task without fail and without erupting into a temper tantrum.
What am I doing with my free time?
are you reaching out
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catatonicsean
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2014 5 July :: 4.23pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: Painkiller - Scud Attack
I'm old and boring, and balding and tired.
Everyone I know, have known, is old and boring and tired. Pushing thirty, or past the mark; nothing new to be seen other than grey hair and paunches, losing more teeth, and finally croaking in a state of extreme senility.
This weekend isn't nearly long enough, and I had the 4th off, as well. PTO, but I find no consolation in that. I'm still a geriatric who retained his hair color (for now; lovey is finding grey hairs already, not to mention the fact that my forehead is getting bigger by the day).
Adulthood is precisely what I imagined it to be; no fun, lot's of panic, and little time to sit and spend with a good old-fashioned hobby. But it isn't total grimness...just close enough to make you worry that everything you were is dead, and Hello Mediocrity!
Not so chipper today, you see, but one can't be merry rainbows every single fucking day. It's still a barrel of monkeys to whine and bitch and moan about how life sucks and so on.
are you reaching out
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