catatonicsean
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2014 22 June :: 4.12am
:: Mood: okay
:: Music: Wall of Voodoo - Back in Flesh
Well, now...things have taken a turn for the Not Quite So bad.
I have a corporate gig (yes, I walked on my fast-food job for better money and self-respect), a new kitty cat, and a new lease of life, yadda yadda. Who wants to hear me be positive about anything, really?
This journal became decidedly less entertaining for me once I ceased to hate life. I wouldn't delete it, because one can never tell when maudlin black rain clouds will form, but balance takes precedence once you reach my age. Things don't always suck, right? Right. So today's entry will be loaded with implied smiling internet emoticons and other such tripe.
::Insert such tripe here::
are you reaching out
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alexithymia
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2014 17 June :: 12.04pm
Feeling a bit like the rugs been pulled out from underneath me. For the past 4.5 years my bipolar diagnosis has been an odd security blanket and today the new psychiatrist tells me she thinks I was incorrectly diagnosed and that I actually have PTSD, Panic Disorder and Depression. She doesn't focus so much on the labels themselves but the symptoms, and she says while this will be one of the hardest things I've ever done she believes with time and lots of hard work on both our sides I can heal. Here's hoping she's right.
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alexithymia
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2014 15 June :: 11.09am
Slowly getting my apt all packed up. Currently have the stuff under the bathroom sink and the bare bones need it every day stuff in the bathroom left to pack. The kitchen still needs packed and then the last of my need it everyday stuff. Moving on Wednesday, hope to have all of my stuff out of the apt then I will have Thursday and Friday to clean the old place before it is back to work on Saturday. Here's hoping it all goes smoothly.
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alexithymia
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2014 12 June :: 12.07pm
E and I decided that until her life get's back on track we are separating. We are going to try to relearn each other and be friends and then once life settles we may try again. I was borderline tears all yesterday and today I just feel detached from the whole situation. It has tampered some of my excitement about the changes in my life but I think this was the best choice for both of us since neither of us wanted an LDR and neither of us expected to be separated for a year or more, but life has a way of getting in the way of ones expectations.
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catatonicsean
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2014 8 June :: 3.13am
:: Mood: content
:: Music: The Dictators - Master Race Rock
Got a new gig...working at Arby's, but what the hell? A job is a job, I suppose, and we've got bills and a baby to worry about.
Things have been splendid, and things have been shit. Stress, panic, laughter, incredible sex, poignant moments with el bambino, and so on.
No real complaints here, but I hope things improve, even marginally, because scraping the gutter is no way to live.
Everything will be Okay.
are you reaching out
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