catatonicsean
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2014 14 January :: 1.47pm
:: Mood: cheerful
:: Music: Metallica - Orion
Looking for a Church of Satan down here is comparable to looking for unicorns.
I still maintain a staunch atheist view, but the novelty is far to good to pass up. Aside from novelty, there is nothing to do down here. So it's either an offensive pseudo-religion, or go to the Holy Land Experience in Orlando (yes, the Christian fundamentalists have their own theme park).
In other news: I was walking around town - my source of excitement during the evening - and I found a cigarette pack with weed in it. You can imagine how my frown reversed itself to its upside-down position. I quickly quit feeling sorry for myself, and bothered to call friends to announce my discovery.
Allergy medicine is kicking in (I have no allergies, I just enjoy a hearty sluggishness and dulled motor skills), so I'm going to nod off and dream of a world that I am not disappointed in.
This entry is rife with sentence fragments. I may be losing my command of the English language, but at this altitude it matters not.
1 night time trust fall |
are you reaching out
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catatonicsean
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2014 9 January :: 1.55pm
:: Mood: busy
:: Music: Bad Brains - Attitude
After another prolonged bout of self-pity and utter disgust for existence, I've decided that "fate" (as they call it) is out of my hands, and there is nothing I can do to change it.
If I really have to continue on as the lowest common denominator, then so be it.
I just wish there was a way to live that didn't involve being a servile worm that wastes his time whenever he wants to change something about his environment that he finds utterly repulsive, and frankly, retrogressive and base. Of course, you can't make up people's minds for them, and showing them alternatives usually results in sneers and jibs. I hope they like going about their day having no value whatsoever, and being part of a creative scene that accomplishes nothing, and is made fun of by outlying cities.
Fuck it.
are you reaching out
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catatonicsean
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2014 6 January :: 4.22pm
:: Mood: morose
:: Music: Darkthrone - Graven Tåkeheimens Saler
I give up.
I will always suck, and my existence has been a waste.
are you reaching out
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alexithymia
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2014 4 January :: 11.06am
Thinking of ordering sushi grade fish online and making that my normal diet. Now I just need a bento box too since mine got broken when I moved from Georgia.
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catatonicsean
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2014 3 January :: 2.33pm
:: Mood: recumbent
:: Music: Tangerine Dream - Ashes to Ashes
I feel tired and old.
I also feel as if I've wasted my existence with all the juvenile nihilism and utter contempt and loathing for anything resembling convention. Makes me wonder what life would have been like had I been a good boy, instead of an arrogant little snot with no regard for anything...
...I imagine the same, only I'd have more friends, my relationships with girls would not be measured in weeks, and I'd be in better physical shape.
Oh, well. Too late. Who cares. Life isn't that bad as it is.
No longer the pessimist, I suppose, but certainly not on the path to being some ditzy pollyanna.
Addendum: My New Year's Resolution for this year is to finish something I start. What, precisely, remains to be seen.
are you reaching out
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