I hear voices, but not in the hackneyed "I'm fucking batty, and God told me to do it!" sense. More or less, I hear layers of inner monologue screaming and consuling and blathering inanities all at the same time.

This has gone on for years, and most have assumed my lack of attention span is due to some juvenile issue like ADD, or some such nonsense, but it's just a thousand shrieking thoughts fighting for priority. And they can all fuck off, let me tell you.

Things are difficult at this juncture (no shit moron, get on with it), and with external noise compounded with the internal ranting, I'm so damned flustered and ineffective as a person, I figure the proper solution is a bullet in the brain pan, but I don't own a gun, and no one I know would let me borrow one.

I am at a loss.

Shrinks are useless unless you're a total sucker, medication is fine as long as it's cheap and no you don't rely on a prescription (proactivity beats a doctor's opinion any day), and talking about it is somewhat cathartic, but not a solution, either.

Who knows?

Not I.

are you reaching out