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2009 9 July :: 5.19 pm
I cant wait to go home. We are going to do a Cav Ball.
Thats where all of us scouts get together in our Class A's with all the new awards and ribbons, and with the golden combat spurs an the Stetson. Basically we get really dressed up, get dates, and go to a fancy ball. And get drunk, celebrating coming home from Iraq, and not being dead lol. I cant wait
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2009 8 July :: 10.38 pm
Ok I dont want you too take any offense to this whatsoever.
I am not dependent on you in the slightest. To think that is crazy. Your flattering yourself.
I was calling you for the same reason you wanted me to call you when you were in the cape. I had no one to talk to and wanted a friend. You read entirely to much into that. Hopefully that clears things up for you. I am, and have been over you for a very very long time. You seem to have it stuck in your head that im still crazy about you. I would like to have you as a friend, but thats where it ends. Hope your ok with that.
If you dont want to continue talking, that your call, if you want to be friends on a platonic level then cool.
But also know this, if you want to be friends, im not going to be something you have to hide. I have more dignity than to be someones "sometimes" friend. I think ive earned that, and I would think you would respect me a bit more. If you dont want me to call you thats fine, but dont keep me a fucking secret. I wouldnt do that to you.
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2009 7 July :: 1.11 am
Me and colleen are going to roadtrip down from CO to FL and check out everything on the way down. Make a blast out of it.
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2009 6 July :: 2.57 pm
Reconnecting with Shana. Im happy about that, i always thought she was great
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2009 4 July :: 1.54 pm
becca finally let stephen in on the fact that we got it on, because ena caught becca fooling around with becca. I think the whole thing is hilarious and highschool.
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2009 2 July :: 9.26 pm
I dont know if its Iraq almost being done, the new car, getting promoted, talking to steph again, finalizing plans, or what but things are going good and im happy.
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2009 30 June :: 1.06 am
Annnd shit is deff looking up. Im taking a trip to fl now, so that will be a blast. Turning a new leaf. The sulky pissy garner that has been around for months is a thing of the past.
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2009 29 June :: 8.52 pm
Im getting a 67 cutlass. Its balling.
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2009 27 June :: 2.08 pm
Its embarrassing that there is only about maybe 10 regular posters a day and you and me take up a good portion of it. and we are always fighting. Its always:
godsconcern, labyrinth, ratanatheevilkitty, ratanatheevilkitty, ratanatheevilkitty, ax4241, phil-himself, acidtears, godsconcern, yankeesrule, michellestar, godessalthena, 14outtanone, godsconcern, ratanatheevilkitty, spinder, yankeesrule, nugenta3, devourhotpockets, mochababy49319
there is 20 posts and almost half of that is us arguing.
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2009 27 June :: 1.48 pm
There is no one in the world who vexes me as much as you do. Your right its not always what you say or what you do. Its you just being you. You fill me with this unexplained rage. I can not wait until you are gone from my fucking mind. Shitty thing about being in Iraq is you have nothing else to do but think about shit. There is no escape from your mind. I long for the day that increasingly annoying bug you left burrowed in my head packs up and leaves, because that is the day I can finally be at peace. And whats worse, I get angry at you, then I grow angry for letting you get under my skin and the anger just builds and builds.
You make it seem like I want this. I hate this. Not all of us have the option of doing drugs and going to shows and being with ones we care for. Im stuck in a fucking sandy wasteland with no one to talk to because everytime I call my dad it is so depressing, steph and becca have turned their backs on me, and frankly, I can only put up with Kim and colleen so much, and they feel the same way. So I am stuck in this perpetual hell, trapped with my own hatred and anger. If I could, I would erase everything about us just so I could have some peace. I have been without it for almost 2 years now.
What is it about you that makes me want to kill someone.
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2009 27 June :: 7.28 am
You know I was going to make this big show about how angry I am and how hurt and all that jazz. But frankly its just not worth all the effort anymore. I am burned out from all that. Hopefully your choices lead to something good. Frankly, the sooner I get back to fl the better, because I can apply my time more usefully than thinking things about you. Ill go the old Michaud route and drown myself in other people. Seems to work well with you. Im still curious about your last post. I pray that its not what I think it is. You couldn't be that headstrong.
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2009 26 June :: 11.41 pm
Inconstancy and hypocrisy.
Dont pretend that you feel bad, or that you wish it did not have to be this way. Its you being selfish. It is convenient to have me around when your lonely. You know im a nice guy and will be there, even when I shouldnt be.
You used to be a better person. You always told me the Army has made me a different person, and it may have, but I at least have stuck to my core values. You have changed, dramatically. Or maybe you were always this way and I was blinded by... well whatever.
And you saying Colleen didnt know we talked? I dont hide things like that because thats how people get hurt. No one likes to have shit going on behind their backs because it hurts their feelings. Thats why im honest about it. A lot has transpired between us. We have had great times and shitty times. But we have always been there for eachother through the shittiest times. And now we have been reduced to mere ex's? I just keep kicking myself in the head. You say that whenever I come into your life I fuck you over somehow but you know thats not true. My feelings to you were ALWAYS the same. Dont try manipulate the past in your favor. I was there, I know what I was feeling.
You know, I honestly dont know why im bothering to write this. Im pretty sure you have stopped caring how I felt or what I thought a long time ago. It was just nice to have someone around to chat with when you needed it.
When you down in the cape and you needed someone to talk to I was there everyday, calling, chatting, whatever I could do to make shit easier for you. But when Ive fallen on rough times, its just not a good time for you to get involved. Well thats fine.
God what a fool I am. You are not the same girl you were and I seem to continually forget this.
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2009 19 May :: 3.16 pm
It is so hot right now you cant pick up metal shit without gloves on or else you will literally burn the flesh off your hand. My thumb is missing skin because of this.
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2009 17 May :: 8.54 pm
Sweet I get a fucking lecture on how im to cocky from sarah. What is this a rag on garner week?
Fuck you, fuck you, and fuck you.
Im pointing at people. It would be more dramatic if you could see me.
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2009 17 May :: 8.04 pm
very tired of all the bullshit.
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