godsconcern's Journal

godsconcern's Journal

:: 2009 8 April :: 12.29 am

Cant wait to go back to florida. After doing everything Ive done, holding some menial bullshit job and going to college will be a breeze and hopefully a great chance to reconnect with my old friends and make some new ones.

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:: 2009 6 April :: 11.05 am

Whats up Basrah

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:: 2009 3 April :: 2.45 am

So im in love with Natalie Portman

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:: 2009 1 April :: 10.37 pm

I love this song:

I found a letter that said:
"I'm sorry that you were asleep when I wrote these words down,"
You'd think I'd ought to be used to that by now.
Save for a few of those late night episodes,
Missed opportunities, and "I Don't Cares,"
There's not a lot that I feel obliged to share or talk about.

I'll have my brother stop by this Saturday to pick up my things,
Just make sure you're not there.
This may sound bad, and don't take it the wrong way..
I love you, however,
You hold me down [x4]

You're the echoes of my everything,
You're the emptiness the whole world sings at night.
You're the laziness of afternoon,
You're the reason why I burst and why I bloom.
How will I break the news to you? [x2]

Cancel our dinner with Max and Coraline,
feed Jacky's gerbil and try to stay clean.
We'll talk it over after I've had some time alone to sort it out.
You hold me down [x4]

You're the echoes of my everything,
You're the emptiness the whole world sings at night.
You're the laziness of afternoon,
You're the reason why I burst and why I bloom.
You're the leaky sink of sentiment,
You're the failed attempts I never could forget.
You're the metaphors I can't create to comprehend this curse that I call love..
How will I break the news to you? [x5]

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:: 2009 31 March :: 11.21 pm

I saw Benjamin button. Amazing.

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:: 2009 31 March :: 10.22 am

On a whim I started talking to Natalie V. I honestly didnt think I would enjoy it, just wanted to kill some time, but we were both pleasantly surprised on how much we enjoyed eachothers company.

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:: 2009 23 March :: 12.19 pm

I forget that people can be so naive. People tell me im so cynical, so stoic. Well it is because society has forced me to be this way. Its well known that I have a problem allowing people to get close to me, because I have a pretty good history of people abandoning me.

I am to blunt and to honest with people. I would rather tell the truth than bullshit with people and this makes me a bad guy.

Im telling you it would be much easier to just hermit up and stick to myself.

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:: 2009 24 March :: 1.09 am

Ive never been more livid.

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:: 2009 22 March :: 1.02 pm

I hate how people become clouded with their relationships and cant see the big picture.

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:: 2009 22 March :: 12.40 am

Watch these movies:

Nick and Noras infinite playlist
The whackness.

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:: 2009 18 March :: 9.46 pm

Also, I watched the Whackness. Awesome movie. One of those movies I cant help but to fall in love with

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:: 2009 18 March :: 9.37 pm

My feelings change very rapidly and sporadicly

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:: 2009 18 March :: 5.36 pm

I dont know what im going to do with my future and it scares me. Part of me wants me to stay in the army because its a sure thing. I do well as a soldier, theres financial security, theres the insurance. It has a lot of perks and honestly, I can handle the multiple deployments and the bullshit field and garrison life. But I know I need more than that. I still long to be home after all this time. I never feel more content than when I am home.

I have been wrestling with a few choices. They are:
go back to florida and rent a house. At first I was planning on buying a house, but it just doesnt seem like the smartest choice. Yea, real estate is really cheap right now, and I have the money, but whose to say the money wont run out? I dont want to have a mortgage I cant pay. Also, at the time of the purchase Ill only be 21. I just feel thats too young to own a home. Theres the responsibility part, and also, I may want to move out of state when schools done.

Maybe rent an apartment?

Which brings me to the next choice. School. Should I go? it will be free for me so thats cool. But should i go to school and get my education degree and be a teacher like I planned or should I skip college and try and get a career?

and car. Should I buy a new car? a used car? I dont know. Right now i have money, and plenty of it, but I dont want to have a lot of bills im not able to pay.

Lots of choices.

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:: 2009 17 March :: 10.32 pm

4 and a half months left in Iraq.

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