TaoMan1121
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2005 1 December :: 9.20pm
:: Music: Aimee Mann - Ghost World
so i'm bailing this town--or/tearing it down--or/probably more like hanging around...
That Aimee Mann song hit me today on the way to my lab meeting, along with the beginning of the last verse:
"And all that I need now
is someone with the brains and the know-how
to tell me what I want"
Today was a good day, but after its effects have worn out, I feel as if I'm close to another uphill battle. Life feels like a chore as of late; funny considering how little I have to do. There's many reasons why I might not be deriving any joy from life as of late, but if can be simplied by merely stating that I'm not allowing myself to.
Not giving up quite yet:
"There is truth, old friend, if that's all you seek. But there's no justice or judgment, without which truth is a vast dead hollow... Awaken the sleep of reason and fight the monsters within and without."
- Deep Throat, "The Blessing Way"
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TaoMan1121
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2005 23 November :: 11.12pm
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: Fiona Apple - Please Please Please
I can knock him 'cause he's dead.
A few things before I unleash these results:
1) Frued was a numnut that offered virtually nothing to the field of psychology. His psychosexual stages are nothing more than an amusing postulation and fodder for Trivial Pursuit questions and Introductory Psych courses around the country.
2) Psychoanalysis is a scam and IMHO can actually be determential to a client. How can you state that you helped someone with no way of proving it. I. need. data.
3) They say "bad press" is still press.
4) This test was still amusing...
| Freudian Inventory Results | Oral (33%) you appear to be stubbornly and irrationally against receiving help even when it might be the more intelligent option.
Anal (76%) you appear to be overly self controlled, organized, and possibly subservient to authority, this effectively narrows your exposure to a wider set of options and ideas lowering the odds that you will make the best decisions in life.
Phallic (63%) you appear to have issues with controlling your sexual desires and possibly fidelity.
Latency (43%) you appear to have a good balance of abstract knowledge seeking and practicality, dealing with real world responsibilities while still cultivating your abstract and creative faculties and interests.
Genital (56%) you appear to be somewhere between a progressive/openminded and regressive/closeminded outlook on life.
| Take Free Freudian Inventory Test
personality tests by similarminds.com
Alanis Morissette - Excuses
Why no one will help me
I am too dumb I am too smart
They'll not understand me
I am lonely
They'll hate me
And there is not enough time
It's too hard to help me
And god wants me to work
No resting no lazy
These excuses how they served me so well
They've kept me safe
They've kept me stoic
They've kept me locked in my own cell
I'm too far from home
It takes far too much energy
And I cannot afford to
No one will ever see me
These excuses how they served me so well
They've kept me safe
They've kept me stoic
They've kept me locked inside my cell
These excuses how they're so familiar
They've kept me small
They've kept me blocked
They've kept me safe inside my shell
Bringing this into the light
Shakes their foundation
And it clears my side
Now my imagination
Is the only thing that limits
The bar that is raised to the heights
No one can have it all see
I have to they want me to
And I can't let them down
I'll never be happy
These excuses how they served me so well
They've kept me safe
They've kept me small
They've kept me locked inside my cell
These excuses how they're so familiar
They've kept me small
They've kept me stoic
They've kept me locked inside my cell
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TaoMan1121
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2005 20 November :: 4.23pm
:: Mood: ephemeral
:: Music: DCFC - Tiny Vesels
This is me, coming clean with myself... I'm lonely. Not a desperate type of loneliness, but instead a sort of inert and serene loneliness. I feel like a sponge that's temporarily dried out, sitting in the bottom of the sink, patiently waiting to be used again. It's strange how this loneliness affects my reactions to situations that are most definitely not lonely. Visits and days out feel strangely comforting and yet ultimately fleeting, not compeletely hollow yet somehow not all-encompassing. Sometimes it feels like I haven't been living my life, as if I've found myself in someone else's shoes. But then again, the differences between here and there are night and day.
When I break the monotony of my rountine, each day here seems like such an adventurous undertaking. There's so much to explore and discover, and it engages me so completely that it almost acts like a drug, whether the high is good or bad.
I discovered a new movie theater fairly close to my campus that has absolutely unbeatable prices for this city. $5.75 for a matinee and $9 for an evening. On the bus ride there, I found the first Kohl's and Arby's I've seen since I've been down there. I took the time to indulge both and it was all a sublime diversion of a day, satisfying a taste of back home until I make it back there next month.
It was a beautiful day out today.
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TaoMan1121
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2005 19 November :: 8.55pm
:: Mood: optimistic
:: Music: Welcome to the Killers Hour.
Steve. kills. me.
There were times today, hanging out with Steve, that I actually had to stop dead in my tracks and kneel down to compose myself and stop my head from going splat. Some quotes from the day:
(after a random commercial for JCPenny or something) Steve: "I don’t want to be racist, but why are black people building a snowman in front of a white girl’s house?"
(sad and dejected while playing Tecmo Super Bowl. Best. game. ever.) Me: "Sometimes I wish I had more than 4 plays to choose from..."
(completely out of the blue on the way to the subway, in regards to The Godfather) Steve: "You know Sonny wouldn't have died if he had had EZPass."
(considering our options after arriving late to a sold-out Walk The Line) Steve: "Let's score some weed."
Finally, let's play Name That Quote. Five, count 'em five, arbitrary points to who tells me who said this first: "We can’t bust heads like we used to, but we have our ways. One of them is to tell ‘em stories that don’t go anywhere. Like the time I caught the ferry to Shelbyville? I needed a new heel for m’shoe. So I decided to go to Morganville, which is what we called Shelbyville at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel. And in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on them. ‘Gimee five bees for a quarter,’ you’d say. Now where were we? Oh yeah. The important thing is that I had an onion tied to my belt—which was the style at the time. They didn’t have white onions because of the war. All you could get was those big yellow ones…”
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TaoMan1121
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2005 17 November :: 9.26pm
:: Mood: indignant
:: Music: a whole lot of Snow Patrol
I'M JENNIFER GARNER!!!
OK, network television, let's see how your attempts to convince me to cancel my cable subscription are going:
The Simpsons - Continuing to bore me, for the most part, and becoming less and less relevant as the seasons pass. Let's put a kibosh on this and get to the movie already.
Family Guy - One of the few rays of light in all this mess, being brought back and all, but then again, it's never been a show I couldn't live without if I needed to.
American Dad - I was starting to get into it, but the two parter over sweeps has turned me off again. I've decided tonight it's to be a casuality of my current rage at the network system.
Arrested Development - Denial abound here for me. I refuse to accept until I read "the article" that seals the deal. Until then, the fate of the (my) universe hangs in the balance. And am I the only person who read that they had to halt production because Jason Bateman was having vocal troubles? That's got to be the explanation, right? RIGHT?!
Kitchen Confidential - Waiting for the ax to fall here as well. Seriously, all I want is the Michael Vartan episode. Please, for all that is decent in the world, give me that.
Prison Break - Entertaining and all, but the conspiracy plotline makes me want jam a spork in the writer's forehead. Seriously, this is one time I fully authorize ripping off the X-Files. Anyway, the "fall season" (whatever the fuck that means) is over in two weeks, paving the way for 24 (which better be the best season yet to make up for all this other BS that I'm having to put up with).
My Name Is Earl - Dropped from my list. How could anything with Jason Lee in it be so completely unfunny. Big disappointment.
The Office - Yeah, it's getting real good (aside from Tuesday's episode), but how long is it going to last? The moment I truly commit to it, the moment they take it away.
House - Gguh. Is it possible that you can make Season 2 available for DVD right now? Plus, it's achieved a balance of anonymity and commercial success that I wish upon every show I watch.
Boston Legal - After a rocky start, it's starting to get back on track, but it's still relative fluff. Alas, I can never say no to Shatner and Spader again... and how the hell did I miss the flamingos?! And who knew Candice Bergen could be entertaining, suave, and even a little sexy? (Yeah, go ahead, have a field day with that one.)
Lost - How could a show with so much potential spin its wheels so much? Oh, and by the way, I don't give a flippin' fuck what happened to the other set of survivors. You barely get to see a character once every month without adding another 6 of 'em! Can we start voting people off now? It's just so inconsistent: it's either exciting as hell or I'm staring at the clock at 9:58 wondering what the hell I watched for an hour? Solution: reformat it into a island talk show and rename it The Terry O'Quinn Show. I'd watch that shit.
Alias - Arrested Development aside, the most consistently entertaining program so far this season. Rachel Nichols and Balthazar Getty: talk about breathing in some fresh air. And Sark?! Next week?! The only way that would be cooler is if I hadn't already read about it. (Grumble grumble... stupid articles.) One complaint: STOP. MOVING. IT. Last year: Wednesday @ 8pm. This year: Thursday @ 8pm. Next week (and until they feel like fucking with me again): Wednesday @ 10pm. Oh, and Jennifer Garner, release the offspring already, you are much better to look at without it.
Night Stalker - ::heavy sigh:: No more. I'm ambivalent: it was entertaining (and with Alias preceding it, it was the night of TV I most looked forward), but the myriad of X-Files rip-offs, even if they came straight from the source, was really starting to trouble me. I suggest a DVD double feature: The Inside and Kolchak. They could call it: Derivative X-Files Deliciousness (or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Enjoy Being Fucked In the Ass by Network Television).
Yeah, I can't top that and I'm out of shows, so I'll stop there. Started out at the beginning of the season with 13 shows, as of this writing, I'm down to 8 (if you consider 24 subbing in for Prison Break, which I do, so you should to). ::sigh:: Back to season 2 of X-Files to remind me of the good ol' days.
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