It's impossible for him to realize that he's hurting his family because he never stops so he can think about it. He does nothing, but it doesn't stop. He's either pitying himself and hating the life he's "worked" for, or he's tearing his family apart with his stupid habits. I've seen the good part of him: a hard working, loving, intelligent, grateful person; I know that he regrets a lot of the things that he's done, but why should I care if he does nothing to make up for it? Maybe all those good things are just the bright side of something terrible. Maybe I've never seen the real him? Maybe I don't even want to. Disappointment is one of the worst feelings in the world, especially towards someone I have tried to look up to for so long. I don't want to be like him anymore- having his nose is enough for me.

I could be mean
I could be angry
You know I could be just like you
You thought you were there to guide me
You were only in my way
You’re wrong if you think that I’ll be just like you

You might be just what I need
No I would not change a thing
Been dreaming of this so long
But we only exist in this song
The thing is, I'm not worth the sorrow
And if you come and meet me tomorrow
I will hold you down, fold you in
Deep, deep, deep in the fiction we live
I break in two over you
I break in two
And if a piece of you dies
Autumn, I will bring you back to life
Of course I see you
I do.

Such a big influence. I hope she's on my side as well.

What else will I have to count on?