I hate rejection. Screw it!

We had a Mother's Day dinner tonight b/c we can't do it tomorrow. Lo and behold, who did I see outside the restaurant? The BHB himself. I wanted to walk over and say hi b/c he did the guy nod at me, but my family was there. Cor would have gone into overprotective big sister mode and mauled him if she knew who he was. My uncle was laughing and saying I looked like a biker chick with zippers + chains hanging off my pants. BHB looked mildly amused at that comment. Sigh. He was just standing there on the sidewalk, smoking a cigarette and being his amazing self. He has no idea what kind of effect he has on me. Dumb humor and silly smiles, combined with a bad boy image and leather. Goodness. He no longer has a blue mohawk, so it's back to black, spiky hair. I'm weak. Ugh, I'm so sick... =P

Do people actually talk like this? Yep. And this is how you know we're nerds...

L-Sa: want me to call now?
L-Sa: but I don't want to just blurt it out and all
K-Stina: yeah, call the cell ;)
K-Stina: just blurt blurt blurt
L-Sa: I want a loonnnnnggggg story!
K-Stina: well, gimme the cliff's notes now, and tell me the dickens version tomorrow

My friends are the best. They really are. This could have turned out to be the worst week ever, but they keep me sane. It's been a week of comfort and sweetness, thanks to them. Who cares if I'm not going to get a 4.0?

nina's had a bad day and misses the good old days when things were easier and chemistry homework counts as part of the grade, and how you were my lab partner in crime and how titrating was fun back then and hanging out in choir first period was the best way to start off the day. [sigh]. though i hate my past, there are some things that were bearable. Yeah, I miss that, too. Nina and I were Bong Sisters. It's innocent. In Hawaii, we had so little sleep (we hung out with the guys, who took us out for ice cream all night and dunked us in the ocean too many times to count) that we both looked lit; hence, Bong Sisters! I'm nostalgic, thanks to a Nina IM. I guess Nina was popular b/c she was a homecoming queen nominee. I was invisible girl, except to those I scared away. We swooned over football players and rockers . We get caught up with all the good lookers there were at MHS, but you know we would never have dated most of 'em b/c intelligence does count for a lot... =P (Holy crap, all the guys we mention in this convo are Latino, except for the BHB, b/c he's, y'know, not...)

xxpun kangEL86XX: dreamy jayce
HYPER GiRL K 333: i never had a crush on him... he was nice to look at... like a wall fixture or flowers... ;)
xxpun kangEL86XX: hahaha REALLY!?
xxpun kangEL86XX: how can you RESIST!?
HYPER GiRL K 333: well, with BHB walking around, i couldn't help it and fell for the blue-haired freak instead
xxpun kangEL86XX: hahahaha
xxpun kangEL86XX: goofy russ
HYPER GiRL K 333: *nods* could not resist that guy...
HYPER GiRL K 333: i mean, the kid who changed his shirt maybe once a month... *swoon* haha
xxpun kangEL86XX: LOL
xxpun kangEL86XX: that's hilarious
HYPER GiRL K 333: let's see... freshman year it was Rage Against the Machine, sophomore year it was Skid Row, junior year it was Slipknot
HYPER GiRL K 333: with a leather jacket over each progressively bad band shirt
xxpun kangEL86XX: hahahahahaha
xxpun kangEL86XX: what about that other guy
xxpun kangEL86XX: marcos or something
HYPER GiRL K 333: *gasp* marco with the eyes!
xxpun kangEL86XX: his eyyeees
xxpun kangEL86XX: i'm literally drooling
xxpun kangEL86XX: hahaha
HYPER GiRL K 333: *jaw drops* god, those were nice eyes
xxpun kangEL86XX: he's such a hot guy
xxpun kangEL86XX: also blessed with looks
HYPER GiRL K 333: he doesn't run... kinda prances like a pansy
xxpun kangEL86XX: i guess we're kindah lucky in the fact that the guys in our school weren't too shabby
HYPER GiRL K 333: but he's hot
xxpun kangEL86XX: hahaha, he IS a twig
HYPER GiRL K 333: haha it was a bunch of shabby guys, and then a few that were just over-the-top good looking
xxpun kangEL86XX: exactly
HYPER GiRL K 333: marco's friends weren't too bad either
xxpun kangEL86XX: but then again, i'm not too critical
xxpun kangEL86XX: so there's more not too shabby ones for me
xxpun kangEL86XX: hahaha
HYPER GiRL K 333: ooh, there's a guy who looks like justin quintero in my microecon class
xxpun kangEL86XX: OHMYGAW
xxpun kangEL86XX: hahaha, justin quintero
xxpun kangEL86XX: his name is like a whispered legend from my lips
xxpun kangEL86XX: lol
HYPER GiRL K 333: hahaha
HYPER GiRL K 333: and did you know that steve (i think that's his name) works at Office Depot now?
xxpun kangEL86XX: REEEALLY
xxpun kangEL86XX: the Mr. Deanna Lopez?
HYPER GiRL K 333: yeah, him
HYPER GiRL K 333: the kid who wanted to have pre-moistened toilet paper as his product for econ
xxpun kangEL86XX: hahaha cool
xxpun kangEL86XX: i guess?
xxpun kangEL86XX: lol

Sean
Jonathan
Matt

That's a lot of strikeage. Rhymes with bikeage...

There was a freak accident involving a paper towel dispenser and my thumb. We'll see how well I can bang out chords now.

I can hear my parents arguing. If she's not yelling at me, she's hollering at someone else. Great.

Karen and Louisa both wrote tributes to me in their respective Xangas. They rule. Can't wait to see Karen on Friday and check out the pictures of crazy Ben (ex-GHS). The Gunn High kids are awesome. GRT gets red haired and mohawked to show GHS spirit. GRT = Gunn Robotics Team. Too bad I didn't go to Gunn. ;)

Dude, I screwed up on my music exam. My grade is down to an A-. I should've listened to the music before the exam day. Then maybe I would have been able to tell gesamtkunstwerk from idee fixee, and Berlioz from Mahler. Still, a B on an exam isn't too bad. I'm just a brat with high standards.

I'm facilitator for Issue 8 in MGMT405, and half my group has not completed the issue. Gahh. I can do the facilitator report at 11am tomorrow after acct and stat. Ugh, it needs to be in by noon... cutting it close... =P

never in a million years...
Oron (new realtor, straight outta college, in the unofficial CB "under 25" club) just walked in the office and said, "What's up, punk rocker?" I replied, "Hey, I'm not a punk rocker, you little punk!" Explanation of this morning's events, as told to Louisa...

sweetzk333: DUDE!
chanlsky2022: DUDE!
sweetzk333: oron is officially "rad"
chanlsky2022: :O
chanlsky2022: why?!
sweetzk333: b/c... y'know how there's a stereo now?
sweetzk333: i was playing some music at a really low volume
chanlsky2022: ya
chanlsky2022: and he's like I like rock?
sweetzk333: and i turned around to adjust it, and he goes, "what're you listening to?"
sweetzk333: and i go, "Descendents." and he kinda did this double take and went, "Awesome. I"m a fan. I have Milo Goes to College!"
chanlsky2022: =-O
chanlsky2022: omg
chanlsky2022: oron is officially a weirdo like you!
sweetzk333: and his favorite band is Bad Religion, and the drummer's dad taught him how to play drums!
sweetzk333: or something... but i just kinda stared and went, "dude. that is so cool. so cool."
chanlsky2022: lol
chanlsky2022: that freak!
sweetzk333: oh yeah... *grins* whee!
sweetzk333: i'd never have expected to find someone cool like that at CB Burlingame! it's... dude... it's...yeah!!! =P
chanlsky2022: omg, you can go to contertage with him
chanlsky2022: and i can go rock wall climbin' with mike
sweetzk333: no, that's weird =P

sweetzk333: good night!
Jake says Rad: good night pretty girl
Jake says Rad: ;-)
Gross? Yes. Let me puke now, please.

Two strong A's, two B+'s, and a B. I am seriously screwed.

sweetzk333: haha i don't care if they have sex as long as i don't have to hear it
chanlsky2022: ew, now I have to take a shower because you told me that
sweetzk333: just so long as she doesn't get pregnant
sweetzk333: b/c then i have to pretend i know a guy named jesus
chanlsky2022: lol
chanlsky2022: I think he works at Wendy's in San Bruno ;)

chanlsky2022: yup, girls are dumb
chanlsky2022: that's why guys should date girls like us!
But Louisa, dear, you have a boyfriend whose name rhymes! Yi Li Shi! Whee!

sweetzk333: so... do i ease up on the tough girl act?
chanlsky2022: nah, peeps seem to like it
chanlsky2022: but you get grossed out by those guys
sweetzk333: haha sean was like, "you're tough, but you're like a little teddy bear on the inside"
sweetzk333: and i'm like, "grrr, i'd kill the teddy bear and eat it, if i weren't vegetarian... =P
chanlsky2022: haha tru dat
chanlsky2022: lol

Enemies lyrics that strike a chord...
Behind the porcelain mask, there's a scared little girl who hopes to god you don't find out there's no one home...

She keeps her heart on the safe side, locked tight for convenience. No doubt without this type of protection you just might get to it.

I've got this pressure burning. Man, I really want to let it loose like a freight train rolling right up for your head. I know it's pointless saying, Man I'm really sorry for you. It's not your fault you're stupid. And I don't want to go down this endless road of wasting my time on your two-bit show, making believe it's all a joke and making believe it's just a hoax. I stood out on the sidelines, watching you chance it each time, and I know your chances left with me are dead and gone.

My testimony stands - I gave all that I could until my bliss was interrupted. Knife at hand, my spine - you crushed it.

Win some, lose some. Forfeit a glimpse of isolation to prove there's one thing I've got on my side, the guts to leave you all behind.

*grin* The new Descendents album came today. I was right - Stacie threw in about $10 worth of free stuff - an O&O sampler and six stickers, including Armstrong, Wretch Like Me, Someday I, and Janis Figure. Whee!

There was this guy. He was seemingly perfect. He really, really wasn't. Everything was fine until I knew him so well that I wanted to kill him. I decided to give it one more shot, so I asked him a dozen questions, and he gave perfect responses. I thought it might work. Then I asked if he would watch BSB videos with me. His reply? "Fuck no!" ...sigh. Back to square one.

It's songs like this that make me want to learn Spanish. I took French in high school, and so far it's been completely useless. Apparently the only place to get a Delux album is Tijuana. Jake lives half an hour away. I wonder if he'd drive over and get one for me ;)

I give up. I'm breaking up and I'm breaking down. It doesn't make me happy. It's not healthy. It's stupidity and disillusionment, and false hopes and dreams.

So I've been busy - midterms, papers, little projects, and the like. Oh, I've been working like mad, and yeah, I'm at work right now ;)

Spring break is this week, and I've nothing planned, seeing as how Chicago is off. Cor wants me to go to Yosemite with her, Billy, Jason, and Eric, but I dunno. They're her friends and it'll be awkward.

Cor trapped me in a craft/fabric store (Joann's) while she chose yarn for the blanket she's knitting. I ended up buying beads, necklace cord, and clasps b/c they were on sale. The whole lot cost $4. I had a spare 15 mins yesterday, so I made a necklace that says "HURTIN CRUE" (Descendents reference). I like it. I also have a new found fondness of needle-nose pliers ;)

i am not your perfect model. mess things up should be my motto
These past few days have been hectic, what with trying to plan our spring break and midterms. Sigh, A-/B+ on midterms so far. Apparently this isn't going to be a 4.0 semester. Gosh darn.

My sXe button attracted unwanted attention. Some guy was like, "Hey, you're sXe? Me, too!" so I tried to be friendly (not a strong point b/c I'm shy) and said, "Cool, aren't you in my accounting class?" and he nodded enthusiastically. "You know, I've been wanting to talk to you..." and I stupidly blurted out, "Because I'm sXe?" He laughed and replied, "Not exactly, but that's good to know. I was really into the scene back in DC. You like Earth Crisis, right?" No, I don't, but I didn't get a chance to tell him, because he started listing just about every sXe band. It was funny, b/c some other guy asked what sXe was, and he looked really insulted and replied, "It's a way of life!" Nice guy, but odd.

The Passion of the Christ was awful - bloody and boring. You can only watch someone get whipped so many times. Mary Magdalene was pretty ;) Hmm... Eurotrip was hilarious. We (Louisa and I) liked it. Toilet humor is good.

listen hard and make the grade... another childhood delayed...
Blargh. 45/50 on my business stat midterm. And he doesn't curve. Kill me, please.

So, I'm working on breaking out of this house arrest stage for Ben's show. You know, exercising my nonexistent charm on my mother and such. She's highly suspicious, though: "Why aren't you angry? You're always angry! ...Are you on drugs?"

...if we go to Chicago, will we need to buy woolen underwear and long johns and overcoats? Sigh, trips are complicated.

Ooh boy, my uncle gave me a bottle of rum! Being sXe is awful ;)

Managerial accounting sucks. Yep.

I need a double dose of the good things in life: Tetris Attack, best friends (BFFL), Slurpees, 960AM KABL, jalapeno bagels, The Shawshank Redemption, early morning walks on empty streets, novels by Kurt Vonnegut, soy mochas, a full 7 hours of sleep, concerts, Agatha Christie murder mysteries, and a nice, long hug.

Last night I paraded around as Mei-Ying, a Mongolian princess who married a French man. She's my dad's friend, and I had to be her, b/c the tix were in her name and he doesn't look like a woman. How unfortunate. *shrugs* We saw Frederic Chiu, concert pianist, and he was SO GOOD! He was jumping off his seat during the loud parts, especially during Liszt's Dante. Sigh, I've played most of the Chopin etudes that he played, but not quite like he did. That may be the fastest I've ever heard the Revolutionary Etude played. As the elderly black man behind me put it, "That boy is too good..."

SweeTzK333: i learned a valuable lesson today
SweeTzK333: if you smile pretty at the bagel man, he'll give you extra bagels... ;D
Mechanix999: lol
Mechanix999: i doubt itd work for me, err i hope it wouldnt
SweeTzK333: that may only work for fat, ugly bagel men, but you could try it on a bagel girl, too
Mechanix999: would you like creme cheese on that?
Mechanix999: lol
SweeTzK333: oh gross... =P
SweeTzK333: ehh... DiRTY!
Mechanix999: no thats what the bagel lady would ask
SweeTzK333: sigh, perhaps i'm the dirty one then...
Mechanix999: its only dirty when i reply, no but would you
Mechanix999: lol

Mechanix999: so if it walks like a duck
Mechanix999: and it talks liek a duck
Mechanix999: odds are its a crossdressing rabbit

that survey whore, she's such a bore...
Darn you for the surveys... You know I can't resist...
Read more..

Goodness. Every time I let some guy get close to me, I push away. Commitment anxiety and crap like that. I'm so afraid. I don't need this. It's too much work. I'm playing my cards, and it looks too good. There's something wrong here. Ball of confusion.

Here's what I learned today:
- Ron Jeremy has 9 and 3/4 inches. Dang.
- Vanilla Ice is bratty and weird, but entertaining.
- My sister likes to pretend to be an exhibitionist.

I'd like to thank The Surreal Life for enriching my life. Now I know why I only really watch three shows. Ever.

The library next door opens at 1pm. If I don't take a break until then, I just might be able to get all ten books within half an hour. The library is 4 stories and huge. I'll have to run. Thank goodness I checked on availability and call numbers of books so I don't have to waste time on that.

Ugh, this is EST. I'm 3 hours behind, ok? It's 11am, not 2pm...

List for my next trip to the library? Read more..

I spilled coffee on my Descendents hoodie. It is now even more ALLular.

Instead of Yuki the client, Candy tried to pass me off to her youngest son. She was like, "This is my son. Have you met Kristina? She's wearing red and black, my FAVORITE colors! Doesn't she look gorgeous today? Oh, well, I have some work to finish up. Why don't you two chitchat while I go to my office, ok?" In a way, he's not so bad. He reminds me of John Thompson, this guy who played timpani and was a band dork at MHS. I was a choir dork, and Nina and I would just be like, "Dude, he's so cool!" Crazy Weezer loving, timpani playing, goatee donning boy who never talked. Oh, he was adorable :) I swear he'll look like Candy's son when he's 25. And then this other agent came in with HER son, who's also around 25 or so... and she did the same thing. She owns a few cafes. Her son is rather big. I think there's an agent conspiracy. They want to fire Linda, and find me a decent boyfriend. Apparently my description of those in the picking make them wince. Eh, well...

Billy, Cor, and I went to North Beach Pizza last night. Does it take an hour to make a salad (for me) and a pizza (for them)? Apparently so. It was 10:30pm by the time we got our food, and there was hardly anyone there except for, like, 10 servers and chefs. Eh. We went over to Eric and Jason's afterwards, and a massive old school NES session went on. Super Mario Bros, yo. Cor and I left at 2am. She's still sleeping, but I'm supposed to meet up with Catherine after her dentist appt. Ugh, I've been up since 8, but I'm still in my pj's. Time to shower and get dressed. =P