word to the weird

word to the weird

:: 2003 4 October :: 11.57pm
:: Mood: frustrated

Wow. You are so INCONSIDERATE!
(had to get that out.)
So...red flannel day went out with a bang. not really...blah. don't really like it. I was walking in town thinking how much i really don't like our town. I was wishing I was somewhere else. And that's when you can tell that you really aren't enjoying life.
Well let's see...SNL is really funny. Jack Black is on and I just saw School of Rock tonight. It was really pretty good. I had a lot of fun with our big group. Yesterday was my birthday, I think birthdays are overrated. It just felt like a normal school day and stuff. But I had a ton of fun at Rebecca's house and it was really nice of her to do all that stuff. After that I went to my grandma's/grandpa's house and stuff. Then tomorrow I have another family b-day party at my house.
Is it weird that my family doesn't celebrate anything together?
Oh, another thing I was thinking about today...

If you're ever taking a drive, listen to Elliott- Songs In The Air. It'll really bring out the colors of fall and all the open, lonely fields that you'll pass. And all the notes will match the way you fit all the curves on the road.
It makes me tired and sad, but in a good way. An "enjoying fall" kind of feeling.
Why am I not happy?

2 bonus cups | will that be ALL?

holiday

:: 2003 2 October :: 9.31pm

l(a by E.E. Cummings
l(a

le
af
fa

ll

s)
one
l

iness

3 bonus cups | will that be ALL?

holiday

:: 2003 2 October :: 6.28pm
:: Music: [Avenged Sevenfold-Second Heartbeat]

Wow.
All I have to say is wow. I hate the afternoon bus, but man do I love the morning bus. I cannot wait till I can drive, I feel like such a loser. Well, this morning I got up the nerve to sit next to this cute boy and ask him if I could share his blanket. Yeah, it surprised me I had the guts too.
School was fine, 6th hour I helped out the middle school band which was very fun. hahaha. Then the afternoon ride...oh man. These kids on my bus asked me what I was listening to, and I tell them it's just a mix. Well, this kid gets curious and asks what kind of mix. So i just say, "A bunch of stuff", where he continues to ask "Do you listen to gothic...? You know, like Disturbed?"
I just had to sigh. And laugh. And c'mon people, there is more music out there than 50 Cent.
And then I was poked in the back of the head by another little kid who thought it was funny. :-P So I went home and just blah, did homework, then i fell asleep, i don't feel good, but I have to go to school tomorrow...I am learning some new songs. I wrote one I need to put some music too. I'm thinking some piano parts. I'm really really bored. I can't wait till tomorrow. Anyway, that was my day.

2 bonus cups | will that be ALL?

holiday

:: 2003 1 October :: 9.11pm

Non-Countdown, Countdown...
If i was counting down days till my birthday, which i'm not, I would say something like "Countdown till my birthday, about a day or so." But since I'm not counting down days till my birthday, well, I wouldn't say something like that. haha.
Rebecca you are such a great friend. You ARE SO FUNNY!!!! Gosh. You made me laugh not only after I hung up with you, but even while I continued to walk out of my room, down the hall, turning right, into the dining room, into the family room, and then I got yelled at for laughing too loud and waking up the puppies.
Tomorrow better be good. I need a reason to get up.

will that be ALL?

holiday

:: 2003 1 October :: 7.54pm
:: Music: good 'ol Led

Yeah. SO I DO NOT CARE ANYMORE
Yes there are two paths you can go by,
but in the long run,
there's still time to change the road you're on.

will that be ALL?

holiday

:: 2003 1 October :: 6.23pm
:: Mood: discontent
:: Music: [Vendetta Red- Accident Sex]

This is awful.
I just read something that made me really sad. I'm sad about him, he doesn't seem very happy. I wish he was. I remember whenever we'd hang out we'd have so much fun. But lately, we never hang out anymore. And well today has just been one of those mellow days, until the end of the school day came and went, and sucked on it's way. Yeah, I was so sad about what happened I went home and tried to get rid of the feelings the best way I could. Did something stupid, then wrote a song. Yep. That's my life in a nutshell, right? Yeah, it doesn't even feel like life at all. But on the up-side, it doesn't make sense but I did something that made me totally click on my Trig. homework. It just...clicked. I did every single question and understood it. I'm happy now though, and I don't know why, because I don't really have anything to be happy about. But my life could be worse...I guess that's something to be happy/glad about. Yeah. Life is good, just all the stupid little things get in the way of seeing that. Yeah. hm...
Anyway. Later.

will that be ALL?

holiday

:: 2003 30 September :: 7.22pm

What the heck am I going to do?

will that be ALL?

holiday

:: 2003 30 September :: 7.11pm

the child is grown, the dream is gone.
Come on, now
I hear you're feeling down
Well I can ease your pain
Get you on your feet again
Relax
I need some information first
Just the basic facts
Can you show me where it hurts?

will that be ALL?

holiday

:: 2003 29 September :: 5.50pm
:: Music: Silverstein- Giving Up

And now you throw it all away. A shattered memory that you would stay, through thick and thin with me. You're giving up on me.
Wow, I'm sorry mr. Red Flannel Day! haha. My aim isn't working for me. It shut off. But I know who you are, just know that!
~

Today was a good day. I think I may have stumbled across something...possibly. I still need a little more time. So in regards to...well, everything, i am not so sure of anything...anymore...haha. Yeah, today was good, I just got home a little while ago. Stayed after school to sign up for scenery for the play. I love to paint! Then Becca and Dylan and I sat out in the hall for a long long time. After that I went w/Becca to go get a present. And then I just got home and I really don't feel like doing my homework. I'm happy, the class I was fearing most, the one I show up late to every day, well, I have a 95% so I'm glad. As for Trig...that will take some time. And for ap history I think it's okay. My only three classes. haha! Well, I'm off!
:-P

2 bonus cups | will that be ALL?

holiday

:: 2003 28 September :: 9.44pm
:: Music: Brand New

I spoke the words but never gave a thought to what they all could mean, I know that this is what you want.
A funeral keeps both of us apart, you know that you are not alone. I need you like water in my lungs.
This is the end.
~

I really really should be studying...

1 bonus cup | will that be ALL?

holiday

:: 2003 28 September :: 8.44pm
:: Mood: confused
:: Music: Cauterize...

It's kinda sad that I have learned to deal with things like this.
Being strong means being heartless.
~

-Likes to laugh
-Likes to talk
-Likes to hang out
-Likes to watch movies and cuddle
-Can drive (doesn't have to, but it's always nice)
-Someone I can cook for! haha
-Someone I can rant about my days of starting kitchen fires. hehe.
-Listener, I'll listen too.
-Doesn't mind my spurts of quirkiness (okay, they're more than spurts...)
-Likes to go places, but also likes to stay home.
-Has ambition in life.
-Someone I can trust.
-Someone who really likes music. oh yeah.
~
I'll think of more some other time...
But basically, if you haven't summed it up already, I'm sort of lonely and just want someone to talk to or see whatever happens. You know. Yeah, I don't want to sound pathetic or anything...:-/ But it's just been rough.
I just need to know that there are still good guys out there. I thought there were, but tonight, I've been proven wrong. Jerks make me frustrated. So yeah. Well, whatever.
It's monday tomorrow. ugh. Well have a good night.
~

Tonight the world will wait for us to say it's okay to move again.

2 bonus cups | will that be ALL?

holiday

:: 2003 25 September :: 7.33pm
:: Music: Silverstein

Promise me you will stay here until the darkness will fade, I'd wait for you...
I wish I could take back today. I wish I didn't have any regrets. I wish I didn't feel so bad for hurting people's feelings. Damn. He heard me talk about him. STUPID!!! Dad says he's a grown adult, he'll get over it. But I doubt it, because he ignored me the whole class. Oh he'll remember. Mark my words. haha. He'll remember, and I'm so screwed. Hilary has now crossed over to the bad side. Yep.
Other than that...highlights of the day...bad grade...good yummy sandwich at lunch. Oh it was so good. Um, not much else. Oh, I made some angel food cake and it looks really pretty. hehe. I love cooking.
Top 3 Jobs I Want:

1.) Culinary Artist
2.) Music Journalist _(or some other industry job on a smallish record label)
3.) Psychologist...Psychiatrist...either one.

That's all.

will that be ALL?

holiday

:: 2003 24 September :: 8.30pm

Pestered mom and dad tonight about my birthday. They will not give in, I tell you.

Stupid surprises. I hate them.

will that be ALL?

holiday

:: 2003 24 September :: 8.13pm
:: Music: Silverstein- when broken is easily fixed

I wanted to tell you, I really did.
but how do i explain this?

~

Tomorrow my goal is to not start any more kitchen fires. unlike today. yikes. kind of funny, I do have to admit. STUPID!!!!!!!!!!! wow....night.

will that be ALL?

holiday

:: 2003 24 September :: 5.00pm
:: Music: Silverstein- when broken is easily fixed

you're giving up on me...
Realmente lo gradisco.
Realmente ho bisogno di questo.

will that be ALL?