::
2005 17 March :: 11.12 am
:: Mood: awake
:: Music: [From First To Last] - [Ride the wings of Pestilance]
Pics from my 4H Public Presentation
The entire thing was like 50 minutes long and... yeah. It was... good. I guess. Besides the fact that it was kind of long. Sorry the pics are kinda pixilated... I had to do a major downsizing. At least you can get the main idea.
Leave a comment on this entry |
::
2005 14 March :: 9.21 pm
:: Mood: hurt
:: Music: [Strike Anywhere] - [Infared]
darling. you know who you are. i'll ask this of you. if you ever see me lying hurt, don't just stare. please get up. get up and help me, and then check my pulse and give me air, and then listen and breathe and keep checking, and checking, and checking my heart. don't drive away. don't leave me this way. don't drive away again. i could never say the things that kept me up, just lay there listening to your whispering. maybe you were supposed to help me learn to love you more, and help me to notice how we're different. ..different. different, and all right.
there's not enough hours in our days...
don't walk out on me again... ...again.
Leave a comment on this entry |
::
2005 10 March :: 10.16 pm
:: Mood: crappy
Cut my life into pieces. I've reached my last resort, suffocation, no breathing. I Don't give a fuck if I cut my arms bleeding. Do you even care if I die bleeding? Would it be wrong? would it be right if I took my life tonight, cause chances are that I might... Mutilation out of sight and I'm contemplating suicide. Cause I'm losing my sight, losing my mind. I wish somebody would tell me I'm fine. Nothing's alright, nothing is fine. I'm running and I'm crying. I never realized I was spread too thin till it was too late and I was empty within. Hungry, feeding on chaos and living in sin. Downward spiral, where do I begin? It all started when I lost my mother. No love for myself, and no love for another. Searching to find a love upon a higher level. Finding nothing but questions and devils. Cause I'm losing my sight, losing my mind, I wish somebody would tell me I'm fine. Nothing's alright, nothing is fine. I'm running and I'm crying. I can't go on living this way...
1 Comment[s] |
Leave a comment on this entry |
::
2005 10 March :: 9.43 pm
:: Mood: amused
My white slave: hard and fats?
My white slave: that so does not work
My white slave: lol
My white slave: thats like, dirty and brandy
My white slave: alone in a room
My white slave: HAHAHAHAHAHA
My white slave: LMFAO
Leave a comment on this entry |
::
2005 9 March :: 6.57 pm
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: [Hootie & The Blowfish] - [Only Wanna Be With You]
How do I explain this?
2 Comment[s] |
Leave a comment on this entry |
::
2005 9 March :: 6.04 pm
:: Mood: lonely
:: Music: [Wakefield] - [L7 Medication]
I know I am your worst enemy, but don't deny that you can't keep yourself from me. ...And yet, I find myself thinking that things are going to get easier, and you're going to pick up the phone and call, I won't have to try anymore. I've never been so in love and you know that. I hope that whatever's going on, you can find it in yourself to tell me what's up. I can't spend this long not talking to you in person, at least on the phone. I can't go a day. I want you to be with me so bad that it hurts... I just wish you knew how much. Distance makes the heart grow stronger, and this scene is not an exception. I love you Josh Belverio with everything that I have... you mean more to me than anything that I'm blessed to have. You're my absolute everything, wether you know it or not. You are my everything and I love you so much. You're the reason I'm around, and the reason I'm who I am when I'm happy. I wouldn't be able to cope without you right there keeping up with me. I want to have you and I want to love you forever. I always will love you. <3
Leave a comment on this entry |
::
2005 9 March :: 5.07 pm
:: Mood: aggravated
Braiinphreeze: < 333333333333
l Caught FlRE: you are disgusting, please stop.
Braiinphreeze: why am i disguisting?
l Caught FlRE: don't.
Braiinphreeze: cuz ur my best friend and i heartu?
Braiinphreeze: heart u*
l Caught FlRE: i'm your best frieind?
Braiinphreeze: dont wut? im not doing anything
l Caught FlRE: wow, that's sad.
l Caught FlRE: we're far from understanding one another.
Braiinphreeze: o kill urself
Braiinphreeze: u love me, u kno it
Braiinphreeze: get over it
l Caught FlRE: don't fucking say that to me.
l Caught FlRE: i swear to fucking god.
l Caught FlRE: don't ever fucking say that to me.
Braiinphreeze: have u had ur meds 2dai?
Braiinphreeze: seriously
l Caught FlRE: seriously? don't ever fucking tell me to fucking kill myself.
l Caught FlRE: fuck.
Braiinphreeze: lol
l Caught FlRE: it's not fucking funny, and i'm dead fucking serious.
l Caught FlRE: i really don't understand you sometimes..
Braiinphreeze: wuts 2 understand?
Braiinphreeze: im bullshitting
l Caught FlRE: why the fuck you'd say something like that
l Caught FlRE: joking or not
Leave a comment on this entry |
::
2005 9 March :: 4.53 pm
:: Mood: blah
Him and I are becoming so distant.
It's not me that's making it that way.
I'm trying my damn hardest to keep him around.
I think he just doesn't want it anymore.
Leave a comment on this entry |
::
2005 9 March :: 4.47 pm
:: Mood: okay
l Caught FlRE: how is he?
Braiinphreeze: hes good
l Caught FlRE: thank god.
Braiinphreeze: y wouldnt he be?
l Caught FlRE: well lets see.
l Caught FlRE: he could:
l Caught FlRE: get hit by a truck/car/van
l Caught FlRE: fall off a building
l Caught FlRE: get shot
l Caught FlRE: get a papercut that requires stitches
l Caught FlRE: break his leg
l Caught FlRE: fall off a ski lift
l Caught FlRE: um... his house could set on fire?
l Caught FlRE: uhhmmm...
l Caught FlRE: get jumped
l Caught FlRE: get in a plane crash
l Caught FlRE: get in a car accident
l Caught FlRE: ...
l Caught FlRE: yeah.
l Caught FlRE: thats why.
Braiinphreeze: lol wtf.. ur paranoid
l Caught FlRE: no, i'm a realist.
Braiinphreeze: lol
l Caught FlRE: and that was a dumb question.
Braiinphreeze: wut question?
Braiinphreeze: no1 asked a question
l Caught FlRE: Braiinphreeze: y wouldnt he be?
l Caught FlRE: that, my friend.. is a question.
l Caught FlRE: bev meet question. question meet bev.
Braiinphreeze: casey .. meet ur a dumbass.. ur a dumbass.. meet casey
l Caught FlRE: i'm a dumbass because i answered a question?
l Caught FlRE: gee, don't ask them then.
l Caught FlRE: i guess its just a bad habit of mine to answer questions when they're asked.
l Caught FlRE: i'm actually quite intelligent...
l Caught FlRE: too intelligent for my own good...
l Caught FlRE: but i forgive you for not knowing that.
l Caught FlRE: i understand that we don't know each other that well.
Braiinphreeze: wow
l Caught FlRE: what?
Braiinphreeze: taking it a little too personally
l Caught FlRE: yeah, well, i'm not one for fronting.
l Caught FlRE: and frankly, the half assed opinion on me being a dumbass has no relevance in this conversation.
Braiinphreeze: chill.. jeez
Braiinphreeze: wut r u so pissed at?
l Caught FlRE: i'm not pissed, i'm clearing up your fuck up.
Braiinphreeze: ok?
l Caught FlRE: okay.
l Caught FlRE: Was that a question?
Braiinphreeze: yip.. answer that 1 too
l Caught FlRE: perhaps you should rephrase it... I don't really understand the question.
l Caught FlRE: "okay" is normally a statement.. you've changed it to a question.
l Caught FlRE: are you asking me if something is okay?
l Caught FlRE: ..like for my permission?
l Caught FlRE: or did i miss something?
Braiinphreeze: ur a geek.. stop trying 2 be smart and stfu lol
l Caught FlRE: i don't have to try to be smart, i'm an intelligent person.
l Caught FlRE: you're seeming to say that i am actually dumb.
l Caught FlRE: you've thought that? all along?
l Caught FlRE: is that what people really think of me?
l Caught FlRE: is that why people have babied me my entire time at high school here in belvidere?'
l Caught FlRE: because they think i'm un-intelligent?
l Caught FlRE: that's really dissapointing...
l Caught FlRE: that people never got to know me before i kicked the bucket.
l Caught FlRE: its sad that people got one stupid... impression off me, no pun intended.
Braiinphreeze: well kicking buckets make messes unless they'r empty
l Caught FlRE: because i'm far from being a stupid person.
Braiinphreeze: in which ud have no reason 2 kick n empty bucket
l Caught FlRE: or less than a child prodigy.
l Caught FlRE: that really upsets me.
l Caught FlRE: ask everyone if that's what they've thought all along... i'd be interested to know.
l Caught FlRE: that's really unfortunate.
l Caught FlRE: fuck...
Braiinphreeze: wut? the kicking of the empty bucket? or the statement itself?
Braiinphreeze: lolno1 thinks ur dumb
Braiinphreeze: ur just teting 2 be a smartass with me and idk y.. soo..
Braiinphreeze: i wont bother
l Caught FlRE: you've told me that i'm "trying" to be smart. I don't have to try... to be smart. and that's not my ego talking.
l Caught FlRE: and i'm not testing, i'm simply being serious.
l Caught FlRE: i test people that i don't like very much,.
I'm cold.
Not physically.
I'm a cold person.
And as your blood runs through me, I say goodbye to what we had...
I miss North Warren, cause I miss Brielle... I miss what it's like to have real friends.
And if Brielle loves me, she'll come out and see me Saturday.
1 Comment[s] |
Leave a comment on this entry |
|