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2005 25 February :: 10.02 am
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: [Senses Fail] - [Martini Kiss]
I had a dream about Chris Bodemann last night... it was strange. and long. ...hah. Wow.
I can't sleep lately... I'm pretty sure it's this stupid medication that I'm on. I wake up like every hour and it sucks.
I'm really harumph.
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2005 24 February :: 9.16 am
:: Mood: exanimate
I have not a thing to say these days.
Sorry for the uhm... non... updatingness.
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2005 23 February :: 6.58 pm
:: Mood: blah
I keep having this dream about my old man, i'm 10 years old and he's holding my hand. We're talking on the front porch watching the sun go down. but it was just a dream. he was a slave to his job and he couldn't be around. so many things I wanna say to him, but I just placed a rose on his grave and I talked to the wind...
for someone who hates their dad so much, I don't know why I talk or think about him as much as I do.
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2005 22 February :: 10.42 pm
:: Mood: blah
I just can't look...
It's killing me...
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2005 21 February :: 8.53 pm
OH. MY. GOD. I have to tell you all this. I went to a new therapist today,
her name was like... wait... I have her card somewheres. ROBERTA FALLIG.
First of all, who names their kid Roberta? Second, who would stay alive
with such a name? Anyways, I walked into her office and sat down, and
she sat down in front of me in this leather chair thingy. She stared at
me. and stared. and stared. Finally, after litterally like five minutes
of her fucking STARING at me, she goes, in the quietest, just barely above
a whisper voice: "Tell me about yourself." ...I was like... dot. dot. dot.
...What kind of statement is that? What do you want, my fucking autobiorgraphy?
Be more specific, you cuntrag. I was like "That's kind of a vague question...
care to clarify it?" And I gave her the BITCHIEST look. So without giving
me an answer, she STARED at me again, and inhaled really, deep. I was thinking
"What the fuck, this is what they call therapy? Fucking aye." She asked
me if I had any siblings, I told her. She asked me if my parents were
together, and I said no, and she responded with "Okay." and continued
to fucking STARE at me. DEAD SILENCE! I was like "What IS this?!" So after
a half hour of sitting there in dead silence, she said "Well, our time
is just about up, so here's my card." She got up and handed it to me, and
then went and sat back down. She stared at me for another 5 minutes, and
then goes "Are you planning on killing yourself?" I was like "WTF?" and
I gave her the bitchiest look, and I go "Um. No?" and she goes: "Alright.
I'll walk you to the door." ... AND THAT WAS IT! I was like "FUCKING
FUCK, I'M NEVER GOING BACK THERE FUCKIN' EVER." and my mom was like "WELL
YOU HAVE NO CHOICE!" ...God. I remember like... 5 times throughout this
so-called "Therapy session" I had to do Slater's 1-2-3-4 thing cause I
was so close to cracking up at how humiliatingly DUMB this thing was.
My mom then bought me a Snapple and I was happy.
What do the critics say about the new pics?
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2005 21 February :: 10.52 am
:: Mood: sleepy
:: Music: [Queen]
So today at 1:30 I have an appointment in Hackettstown with some lady who is going to absolutely intrude my life while Sara laughs. ...ha. Me and her stayed up until like... 4 this morning, and my mom made me get up at 9. I needed to sleep in, and she wouldn't let me. ...heh. I have a lot of new pictures posted on my MySpace and yeah, and for those of you who have never been to it, nows a good time to shimmy your little toosh over there.
...tummy. heh.
Please ignore this lisp.
I never meant to sound like this.
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2005 21 February :: 10.37 am
Give this redneck some luvvvvin. ...ha.
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2005 19 February :: 7.04 pm
:: Mood: blah
Rarely is it that I never update, and I'm sorry for that. Things have been sort of blah, and I don't know. I had to go to a doctor's appointment at 10:30A this morning. I got 3 tubes of blood drawn, I'm still not sure why, and I got a perscription for... Fluoxetine. Basically prozac. How gross. My mom was like "TAKE IT BAAAH" and was like freaking out, and I gave it to the dog. ...haha. I heart myself.
I haven't talked on the phone for a long time in a long time. (For a long time, in a long time. ha. cool.) Yeah.
I'm sorry, I really have nothing to write about.
I love him so much.
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