lol.


I love Brandon. xD

I've been drinking a lot tonight... having one of those nights I suppose? I'm angry cause I couldn't get to the mall this weekend, and I wanted to so I could get a new phone, a new battery at least. I can't even talk on the fucker for more than 15 minutes and it's like ... SEE YA! errgg...

I hate the people at school so much. I don't want to go back there. I wish I was homeschooled sometimes. Ahhh...

Things are shitty.
But not as shitty as they used to be.
It's up and down.
Not so bad.
Bad.
Not so bad...

I'm liking this doctor.

My brother is eating jello.
Which smells like macaroni and cheese.

Last night me and Sara watched "The Young Black Stallion" and LMFAO we were like... commenting on everything... and like... oh man. It was great. But the movie ended too quick so we watched Lilo and Stitch WHICH WAS the best movie I've ever seen in my entire life! LMFAO it was so fucking funny. =] I want a stitch.

This morning I gots real scared cause I got the truck stuck over by the hay barn... and it freaked me out cause I was trying everything and it WOULD NOT COME OUT. I was like... "gkjndsgkjnrdskjd!" and like... finally I was like... well... whatever. I'm gonna gun it. Which is never the solution to these types of things, but I was so frustrated so I did it and it just came out. So.. lucky. YAY! I heart myself.

No one leaves me comments on my journal...

I want...

HAHAH...

I gotta go man...
I'm like...
tired.

Last night I wrote another page onto the letter I wrote my mom and printed it out and put it on her bed. It was three pages long with really small font, I thought she would think I was phsycho, ha. Well, I went to bed and she turned on my light and woke me up and was all... "we need to talk." and she was crying and I felt really bad. Because I didn't mean to make her upset. I was just trying to explain things and tell her how I was feeling and whatnot. We sat on my bed and talked for an hour and things got a little better for now anyways.

When I came home I wanted to go online, but my stepdad had taken the cord out and disconnected the internet... figures. I "overuse" the computer, but my brother, who's on the video games shit for 3-4 hours straight after school is far from abusing his privlage. :cough: I was so mad, I wanted to cry. My cell phone battery was dead and I couldn't go online to talk to Brandon. I was seriously like... ripping my hair out I wanted to talk to him so bad. Yeah, so I stuck my phone on the charger and around 9 asked my mom if I could "please" go online... I told her that I really needed to go online and ask someone what the math homework was. (I just wanted to talk to Brandon) and she flipped. (this was before the whole letter thing) She told me that i should have been more responsible and had my homework list, and I was like "I WAS FUCKING ABSENT WHEN SHE HANDED THEM OUT." and shes like "Well I guess you'll have to hand it in late." and I was like "Too bad she doesn't accept late assignments." and I went upstairs and slammed my door and cried. I was so fucking frustrated because I wanted to talk to Brandon so bad. So then Bev called me to say hey. Then I called Josh and cried on the phone with him for a long time, but he wouldn't talk to me. I miss him a lot... that's part of the reason why I was so upset... grr... stuff is bad lately.

I haven't had this bad of a day in so long. It really wasn't that bad, but then towards 5th period I started to get really tired and just like... gloomy and quiet. I fell asleep during World Cultures and Josh Slater woke me up at the end of the period by hitting me in the face with a paper ball.. haha that kid is awesome. Anyways, 7th period we watched a movie and I just kinda slept a little bit and rested my head which was killing me. By then I felt so shitty I wanted to die. 8th period was a little better, but I wanted to go home so bad, and the clock was working against me. I kept staring at it and I was like "ohmyfuckinggod I want to go hommmme..." finally my wish was my demand and the bell rang and for a second I was happy it was over, and then I began worrying about the next day and how I have to deal with shit all over again. I love the like... 2 seconds of bliss that I get when I'm walking out of the school.

Lunch I got to see Brandon for 2.5 seconds. =]
I saw him come in, and I figured he was leaving soon so I ran out in the hall to meet him and I was waiting and Bev came out and was all "Brandon's waiting for you in the cafeteria!" and I was like "oh shit!" and I went back in and I saw him for like 2 seconds and that was cool...

Um, the bus ride home was... eh... and from then on, it was all downhill. I got home and totally fucked myself up and I'm so fucking sick and so fucking ouchy and errg... It's really ... fff... I want something else. I feel a little better now emotionally, ha, but my horse ran out of the stall while I was cleaning it and banged my knee/leg against the wall and fuccckk.. it hurt so bad, I had to like... take a breather. All the horses got loose today somehow... that was shit. I'm not doing very good today.

Ohh boyyy... today sucks already... I've been so rediculously hyper the past 3 periods, I'm going to be completely dead by 6th period. First period I like.. spazzed... 2nd period I ran around the locker room and knocked people over that were doing yoga in the wrestling room... 3rd period I talked to Ricki and Josie about sex and now I'm like spazzing and tired at the same time and that's not good.