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kellielynn
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2011 16 May :: 3.41am
:: Music: Mean - Taylor Swift
It's those things you hate about yourself that someday someone would love about you.
I don't understand why I'm getting calls, just to say hello or goodnight. I'm finding myself overanalyzing this stupid situation over and over and getting nowhere. I love the sound of his voice, it makes me all warm and cozy. And the cute birthday voicemail I got last night from him. Why must we play games? I'm over this stage in my life; we're adults and he needs to grow up and figure his shit out. It's not like I'm putting forth much effort to stop this so-called 'friendship'. I just want life to be RIGHT again. Right.
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kellielynn
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2011 16 May :: 2.43am
:: Mood: Hurt :(
Let's update.
1. I am sore.
2. I have a bruised eye, a scraped knee, a knot on my spine, a lump on my boob, and I can't really move.
3. Going along with #1 and 2, when I poke my body it feels bruised.
4. Everywhere
5. Don't remember hardly anything about my 22nd. Rach had the best surprise ever- we were getting ready and Jen and Scott walked in with Bridgette, Jill, and Tony!!!
6. It was THE shit.
7. I got very intoxicated.
8. Hence I don't really remember much of the night.
9. The stories are funny though, got kicked out of Sneaks like 4 times... Kim tackled me in the parking lot. And punched Helwig in the face.
10. FABULOUS night. :)
11. Moose :(
12. :(
13. :(
That's all I got. :(
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kellielynn
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2011 14 May :: 2.40am
Regret nothing regret nothing regret nothing. I don't regret anything. Even being on probation. But I regret Mousseaus decision, oh so much. :( it's so loud inside my head. WTF. That's on my mind. WTF. WTF Mousseau ;( damn heartache is what you cause me. :( sad kel. Single kel, sad single kel, single single, how I despise being single. Hate it. Hate it so much I could scream. Single. I am SINGLE.
Bull :(
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kellielynn
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2011 14 May :: 2.33am
So I'm a little tipsy and I'm sad. I could scream my guts out right now. I'm just so sad :( soooo drunkenly sad :( it's my birthday. Sad kel :( sad sad sad :(
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kellielynn
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2011 13 May :: 10.21am
:: Music: Words I never said- lupe fiasco ft skylar grey
Oh kel :(
So I am definitely sure about my insomnia returning being due to Moose. Isn't this ridiculous? I've woken up every morning for the past two weeks around 6 or 7, then I'll doze on and off until 10. I was cured... I had been sleeping like a baby and now I'm stressed and confused and lost. Again. And I gave my melatonin to Shawna. Basically, I'm pissy because I got dumped unwillingly.
I can't even stress how awful I feel and how badly this sucks. I've been lying here for two hours. :(
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kellielynn
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2011 12 May :: 11.45pm
:: Mood: Still bummed
:: Music: Mean- Taylor Swift
You can't just go around hurting people like that.
Another day gone. I honestly hate this single bullshit. I'm pissed and bummed and annoyed and hurt and all of these emotions rolled into one heaping, weeping mess of a girl. I was NEVER one to let a guy get me so far down. I just feel like I wasted my time. And that sounds so horrible because I wouldn't change a single second of time I spent with him. He is a treasure.
But I am also a treasure. I'm so content with who I am it scares me. I know I'm fun and nice and beautiful and it just doesn't even matter. Obviously everyones perception of me is whack, because I keep hearing these things over and over and I can't help but wonder why the ONLY one I want to care enough doesn't, why I keep giving these people my all and I just get tore down in the end. I just think he took the easy way out. Life isn't easy, there's no help button you click, there's no magic advice ball to use. Life is complicated and horrendous and you get OVER these hurdles and they make you stronger to accomplish the things in life that you are fated to do.
And I know, I know, that I need to take my own damn advice but never have I ever felt this way. That instant connection that I felt, the connection that when I'd be in a piss poor mood and someone would say Moose, I'd feel FABULOUS.
Regardless, I will be strong and stop breaking down. I am kel. Somehow I always bounce back...
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kellielynn
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2011 11 May :: 9.23am
:: Mood: sad
:: Music: Story of Us- Taylor Swift
Another heartbreak for Kel
The greatest irony of life is loving the right person at the wrong time, having the wrong person when the time is right and finding out you love someone after that person walks out from your life and sometimes you think you're already over a person but when you see them smile at you, you'll suddenly realize that you're just pretending to be over them just to ease the pain of knowing that they will never be yours again. For some, they think that letting go is one way of expressing how much you love the person. Most relationships tend to fail not because the absence of love; love is always present. It's just the one was being loved too much and the other was being loved too little as we all know that the heart is the center of the body but it beats on the left. Maybe that's the reason why the heart is not always right. Most often we fall in love with the person we think we love only to discover that for them, we are just for past times, while the one who truly loves us remains either a friend or a stranger.
Here's a piece of advice: let go when you're hurting too much, give up when love isn't enough and move on when things are not like before. There is someone out there who will love you even more, surely then, you will know true love.
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acidtears
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2011 13 April :: 1.27am
Found this while watching "1,000 Ways To Die"
Way To Die #247: Eye-Sick-Kill
Date: November 29, 2008
Place: Cedar Springs, MI
The Christmas season at a mall in Cedar Springs, MI, had it's usual Christmas display, and since it was Christmastime, the mall had Santa Claus stationed outside to greet visitors. But this Santa was as naughty as his female helpers were "nice", but you would expect this Santa to be naughty. The rest of the year, he was just an old hippie stoner called "Paul".
As this Santa would do things that would only happen in the privacy of Santa's house in the North Pole, Santa's helper's got tired of the special attention that Santa paid them and made it a point to talk to the mall manager, who then made it a point to give Santa a present, that of getting fired.
But as Santa was walking away after being fired, he looked up and suddenly got a point, that was at the end of an icicle that suddenly dislodged itself from the roof, and went straight into Santa's eye, killing him instanly.
That's funny, usually naughty people get coal for Christmas, but this bad Santa got something "ice" this year...
Medical Dianosis:
The icicle decided to dislodge at that moment, which dropped with enough velocity to actually go through the eye and into the brain and killing Santa, due to brain trauma.
The creation of icicles is a continious cycle: The point of the icicle is formed more quickly than the base, which releases heat every time the icicle freezes. This cycle happens over and over again until the base of the icicle can't hold any more weight and breaks off and falls. The dislodging of icicles off buildings and roofs can prove hazardous and sometimes deadly to pedestrians and drivers due to the speed that a falling icicle can achieve, and icicles have actually killed people, like our unlucky Santa, during wintertime, more times than you can imagine
It's funny cos we don't have a mall, and I never heard anything about this.
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acidtears
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2011 5 April :: 6.36pm
:: Mood: cranky
I want my fucking phone back. Ugh, bullshit.
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acidtears
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2011 30 March :: 12.45pm
I so love having relatives mad at me and refusing to talk to me. It's alot of fun, everyone should try it at some point.
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acidtears
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2011 28 March :: 2.16pm
Moving date changed. No longer Thursday the 31st. It is now Friday, the 1st. Yes April Fool's Day. How fun.
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acidtears
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2011 26 March :: 4.57pm
5 days and counting.
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acidtears
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2011 24 March :: 2.49pm
Moving Day countdown: 1 week. Better get more serious about packing. Even though I have already packed nine boxes, it still looks like I haven't done anything. Ughhhh too much stuff.
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acidtears
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2011 20 March :: 11.18pm
Rolled around on kitchen floors.
Tied my tongue in pretty bows with yours.
And now we pass and just like glass
I see through you, you see through me like I'm not there.
You could make my head swerve.
Used to know my every curve.
And now we meet on a street,
And I am blind. I can not find the heart I gave to you.
Sometimes what we think we really want we don't.
Sometimes what we think we want we really don't.
Sometimes what we think we love we don't.
And I am blind. I can not find the heart I gave to you.
And when we meet on a street,
Then I am blind. I can not find the heart I gave to you.
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acidtears
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2011 20 February :: 5.56pm
:: Mood: artistic
I think you're pretty
I think you know it
You got a boyfriend
You just forgot him that's all
For five minutes that's all
You're my best friend that's all
Divide and conquer
Train him to be greedy
Why would the person put the advantage by fair?
Will you become what other people think of you?
I hope you don't feel lonely when you're spending time with me your friend
Wish you were here with me
Wish I was there with you
I'm reaching feeling for you
I wanna be up with you again and again
We wait for each other
But we are not lovers
I picked a good time to leave
I think it made you mad
You're talking about
You're talking about what I'm saying
Now
Wish you were here with me
Wish I was there with you
If you wanna talk I think we should
But me and where don't work so good
Will you become what other people think of you?
I hope you're not too lonely when I'm spending time with my old friend
Oh oh
Yeah
Okay
Subtle indications dribble away which you don't care about
Yeah
Okay
Go
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