:: 2005 12 March :: 5.53 pm
:: Mood: indescribable

So I brought Jon home with me yesterday. It was kinda windy when we went out in the back yard to watch the sun set. It was totaly beautiful. We talked about how much we like Boulder and how pretty it is. Twilight was settling upon the sky and the stars were coming out. We were pointing out the stars as they came out one by one when I caught a glimpse of something out of the corner of my eye: A huge black dog. I did a double take. It was just two chairs and the shadows they were casting. I kinda smiled nervously and looked up at Jon and said, "Don't those chairs kinda look like a huge black dog? Like...a Grim?"
"Uh...yea...They kinda do..." We sat there staring for a while. Nomater how long we stared, it still looked like a dog. A chill went up my spine and he turned to look at me.
"Let's go inside now." I nodded and stood up quickly and walked inside as fast as I could. We went upstairs to my room and kinda hung out for a while, doing nothing in particular. I started telling Jon about how my neighborhood is somewhat supernaturally active. This led me to Clarence the Closet Creature and the run in that Mandi had with him, which led me to the Tree. There's a tree right by my house that is a center of energy in the nation. For some reason I really felt the need to show Jon the Tree. It was quite dark now, and windyer as we walked down the street. I felt kind of uneasy and the wind felt warm and sickly. We reached the spot were the tree was and there was a lot of movement on the ground. I passed it off for the wind, even though there wasn't very much wind at that moment. I put my hand on the tree, and instructed Jon to do the same.
"See, it's warm." He nodded, but there was a somewhat dissconcerted look on his face. There was the sound on the ground again and the feeling of unease increased. I turned to him. "Let's go..."
"Yea." We started walking up the incline that led back to the street. Once we got there I moved to go to the path that lead the other way through the trees and suddenly stopped. I felt sick.
"I don't think I want to go this way." I looked back at him and said, "Do you feel that?"
"Slightly." He nodded.
"I think we should go back now." I looked up at the clouds, and, even though it was pitch dark, one of the clouds was slightly illuminated a somewhat dull grey reddish color. I pointed it out, but looked away for a minute.
"Woah!" he exclaimed. "Caro, did you see that?"
"See what?"
"That light. It just went through the cloud. That was way too fast to be a plane."
I shiverred again and started walking faster. I suddenly stopped as this weird feeling rushed over me, making me feel even more sick than I already did. A gust of wind blew my hair in front of my eyes. "Do you feel that?"
"A little."
I pulled him into the spot where I was standing. As soon as his foot touched the ground where I had been, a huge gust of wind picked up. I felt something very, very bad. I looked at him, eyes slightly wide. "Let's go. Fast." And I took off running. He followed. We ran all the way back home and threw open the door, panting as I locked it behind me. We went up the stairs quickly, and a flopped on the floor. "What was that all about?" We disscussed for a while.
"You know how you said the tree was warm?"
I nodded.
"Well, it felt like...like there was something trying to get out and something was keeping it in...I couldn't tell if it was good keeping out bad, the other way around, good keeping in good, or bad keeping in bad. Whatever it was, something was trying to get out."
I nodded again. "I could sence that too." I sighed. "I told you this area is supernaturally active."
"Yes...Yes it is. It also felt like something was coming up out of the ground. And then, it seemed like it was coming from above. Like a fountain effect from the tree..."
I started to cry. "I'm afraid." It was the most sickening feeling I've ever felt in stomach, Like somthing terrible was about to happen. And I know it's not because I'm crazy. Jon felt it too. We were both scared. But he's not nearly as sensitive to the supernatural as I am. He suggested we go down ito the basement to see if it seemed safer there. It did, but when we sat down, I curled up and started to shake madly and cry. "I don't want you to leave," I said as he wrapped his arms around me, "I don't want to be left alone here." He nodded.
"If I could stay I would."


(Here's the part to read if you don't believe in the supernatural)
This led to much pleading with my mother to let him spend the night, but that didn't really work. Mom thought it was all in my head. I was flipping out about because I was so scared, and she gave me half of a Clonopin (a stress medication) and said it was inapropreate for Jon to spend the night. Jon and I went back upstairs and he said, "Maybe you should spend the night over at my place. You could get away from here." So we called his mom and explained the situation. She said it was cool with her if I spent the night there. So I went and told mom that Andrea said I could stay there and mom said that I could go over. Jon hung up the phone.
"I really don't apreciate this." said Mum.
She thought I had purposefully backed her into a corner to let me go. That's not what I was trying to do! I just thought that if mom knew that Andrea was okay with it, it might make her feel better about it...
I did end up going over there, and I felt so much better as soon as we got to his house. Things have cleared up on this end for the most part.

~Caro

2 See through my crystal fearsXD | Are you crying?

:: 2005 8 March :: 7.01 pm

This is how the shit's goin' down.
I haven't posted for I while, yes?

Well, firstly, I MISS NEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I really need to read her journal. I haven't done that yet. I just posted a comment on her most recent entry to get some info outta her. *Prods Nee for her e-mail adress* I wanna send you some gooood stuff.
Secondly, Jon loves me! I can't believe it. I'm for once truly in love. I know him very well, and this is the first time I've done that with a significant other. I only knew Ian for like, a few weeks before we started dating. That was a mistake I'll do my best to never make again. It's funny, because I swore I wouldn't date a guy...Of course, he's kinda feminine XD I love him anyway. It's funny. I weigh 70 pounds more than him. I find that utterly amusing. Why I have no idea. He is reeeeeeally skiny. I still have to find out why he jumped off that roof though...That was so dumb. He admits it.
Third, we flew out to California for Aimee's dad's memorial early on Friday, went to the memorial early on Saturday, and got back late yesterday.
CSAPs (Colorado Student Assesment Program) SUCK. I hate standerdized testing. >< Being drained doesn't help that much.

Oh well!

*Huggles everybody*

~Caro

1 See through my crystal fears | Are you crying?

:: 2005 24 February :: 8.00 pm

My sister's dad died last night.

Are you crying?

:: 2005 21 February :: 5.12 pm

Time has finally run out.
Aimee's dad is about to slip into a coma. They say he's got a few days left. Mom is flying out tomorrow, to be with my sister and help her through this. I can't believe that this is happening to my sister. I just can't. So my emotions are kind of all over the chart right now. Guh. It just makes me wat to cry and then go and die...Just go and die. But I couldn't be here for her then. So I can't! GAH! I hate life sometimes. I really do. I hate the whole moodswing thing too. I just hate. Do you ever just hate everything for a while? Yea. That's kind of how I feel. Just a little.
Okay, maybe a lot.

Alright. A lot. A whole lot.
I hate everything except my friends and family.



Seeing Kelly today cheered me a bit though. Yay Kelly. We got our makeup done. Funnerific.

I'll feel better eventually.


Eventually.



~Caro

Are you crying?

:: 2005 19 February :: 9.08 pm

Silence...
It’s so very loud.
Ringing in your ears till you feel you’ll go deaf.
The silence in your mind...
It hurts, doesn’t it?
That pain, stinging,
splitting in your head.
Can you feel it?
Can you?
It stings,
Like soap on a fresh,
deep
cut.
Like the ones you’ve made into my soul.
It hurts.
It hurts like nothing else.
My wounds will not heal.
They will never heal.
It’s because of you that I’m scared.
It’s because of you.
I
will
Never
be free of this.
This fear that grips my heart.
Even when I know it’s true, what he says...
I cannot help but feel that twinge.
That twinge of fear,
that maybe,
maybe...
He’s going to do to me what you did to them.
Maybe it’s not for real.
I’m afraid of them.
All men.
Not even just adults!
All of them.
All of them because of you.
It cuts deeper than skin,
deeper than Flesh,
or Blood or Bone.
It’s in my SOUL.
Lodged into my brain!
Those cuts and wounds that
just
won’t
heal.

Are you crying?

:: 2005 7 February :: 6.09 pm

Nee, I'm sorry. Normaly I would go on a long tyrade about the lyrics, but today I'm so overly fried that I can barely think straight.

1 See through my crystal fears | Are you crying?

:: 2005 5 February :: 9.40 am
:: Music: Simple and Clean

4 See through my crystal fearsXD | Are you crying?

:: 2005 5 February :: 10.01 am

Convos with Jon (The second one is a lot longer)
2/3/2005

Jon (5:40:39 PM): OOOO! I found the PERFECT present for you! [ Zone Labs Security alert: Encryption is disabled because Jon is not on your contact list or invisible ]
Caro (5:40:52 PM): XDDDD]
Caro (5:42:16 PM): yaaay
Caro (5:42:26 PM): !!
Jon (5:42:32 PM): *grins*
Caro (5:48:17 PM): *Happy dance.*
Jon (5:48:48 PM): *heppy dances with her* ^-^
Caro (5:49:25 PM): so, what's up?
Jon (5:51:20 PM): Not much...
Caro (5:51:28 PM): Fun.
Caro (5:51:32 PM): How was class?
Jon (5:51:38 PM): Alright
Caro (5:51:45 PM): Indeed?
Jon (5:51:49 PM): not too interesting or tioo boring
Caro (5:52:10 PM): dude, can we get on with the play already?
Caro (5:52:14 PM): I mean,
Caro (5:52:32 PM): it's like, can't they figure out the language?
Caro (5:52:37 PM): x_x
Caro (5:53:01 PM): I feel sorry for our teachers that they have to deal with the likes of Brenda and those folks.
Jon (5:53:15 PM): @_@ Yeah
Caro (5:53:32 PM): They're too cool for that
Caro (5:53:52 PM): I strongly disslike Brenda
Caro (5:54:05 PM): I mean, mostly everybody else is okay.
Caro (5:54:22 PM): Ivan downright rocks.He's just easily distracted.
Caro (5:55:47 PM): Hey, um...Gaia is telling to me to look around
Caro (5:55:54 PM): what does that mean?
Jon (5:56:07 PM): You got an event!
Caro (5:56:11 PM): Where?
Jon (5:56:20 PM): look for a pink link
Jon (5:56:41 PM): I'm guessing if you had a giftbox or a trunk bouncing around, you'd have noticed it by now
Caro (5:56:47 PM): XD
Caro (5:57:18 PM): Well, my computer says there's an error on the page, guessing that's it.
Caro (5:57:31 PM): Oh, i say
Caro (5:57:41 PM): "If you cannot see your event click here"
Jon (5:57:54 PM): Jus what I was gonna tell you to look for
Jon (5:58:40 PM): Oh, and I jus ordered your present.
Caro (5:58:57 PM): DUDE
Caro (5:59:04 PM): I GOT NIGHT VISION GOGGLES.
Jon (5:59:09 PM): You have no Idea how hard it was to find a place selling it
Jon (5:59:17 PM): Sweet
Caro (5:59:35 PM): XD
Caro (5:59:38 PM): Rockin.
Caro (6:00:24 PM): *Feels loved*
Jon (6:01:30 PM): But yeah...the first place I found that supposedly had it was Halloweentown.org... but they jus linke to a place that didn't have it...I found a nother place selling it...in england...and I found another 5 places....which all linked the same place Halloweentown.org did
Caro (6:01:46 PM): XDDDD
Jon (6:02:11 PM): I finally found ONE place that had it.
Caro (6:02:21 PM): Woohu!
Caro (6:02:44 PM): Wow, you put a lot of time and effort into that
Jon (6:03:01 PM): *nods*
Caro (6:03:21 PM):
Jon (6:03:33 PM): but OMG, you're going to love it!
Caro (6:03:49 PM): *Hug* You're so nice to me XD
Jon (6:04:35 PM): *hugs back* I like being nice to you ^^
Caro (6:06:03 PM): =^.^=
Jon (6:06:20 PM): *grins*
Caro (6:06:50 PM): You're so cool. You know that?
Jon (6:07:46 PM): *blushes a little* No...but thank you
Caro (6:08:41 PM): ^_^
Jon (6:08:58 PM): -^.^-
Caro (6:10:01 PM): but seriously. If I know no guy who rocks my socks as much as you.
Caro (6:10:06 PM): *I
Jon (6:10:50 PM): Heh... *puts a hand on the back of his head, blushing a little more*
Caro (6:11:20 PM): ^_^
Jon (6:12:26 PM): Heh... n.n
Jon (6:13:16 PM): I'm glad you like me as much as you do.
Caro (6:13:30 PM): Well, like I said. What's not to like?
Jon (6:14:18 PM): Um...maybe the fact that I'm slightly subtlety impaired? *shrugs* I dunno...
Caro (6:14:41 PM): How so?
Jon (6:15:31 PM): Well...It's part of being oblivious...I don't really pick up on subtle hints...usually if somebody need to tell me something, they need to do it with...well....the subtlety of a freight train. ^-^;;;
Caro (6:15:49 PM): XD
Caro (6:16:23 PM): That doesn't bother me very much.
Jon (6:16:33 PM): Okies.
Caro (6:17:26 PM): ^_^&
Caro (6:17:41 PM): *^_^;
Jon (6:18:02 PM): Heh...Oh! *goes to resize your pictures and send them to you*
Caro (6:18:17 PM): Woot!
Jon (6:21:04 PM): By the way, did you name the guy you colored?
Caro (6:21:44 PM): The elf?
Jon (6:21:51 PM): *nodnod*
Caro (6:22:12 PM): Cerius.
Jon (6:22:19 PM): Okies
Jon (6:23:23 PM): I'm leaving them moderately large...but that's because you're putting them on DevArt, so that they aren't tiny.
Caro (6:23:40 PM): Thankies.
Jon (6:24:11 PM): No prob. ^.^
Caro (6:27:00 PM): Eh. *Has to go practice flute in four minutes, but really, really doesn't want to*
Jon (6:27:11 PM): *nods*
Caro (6:28:26 PM): Rar. And Dad's home too. He's going to make me practice all structured like.
Jon (6:28:44 PM): eeeee...
Caro (6:29:53 PM): It is not a happy thing when Dad's around when I practice. He played bass for a long time, so he "Knows a lot about practicing instruments"
Jon (6:31:27 PM): Eh...
Jon (6:31:31 PM): E-mail sent!
Caro (6:31:35 PM): WOOHU!
Caro (6:33:24 PM): Just in time. Alas, I must depart, dear friend. But, I may be back, if not so stricken by strict practicing methods that I have died.
Jon (6:34:08 PM): Goodbye, farewell, my good friend! *waves dramatically*
Caro (6:34:37 PM): *Bows deeply with a flourish*
Jon (6:35:31 PM): *Continues wavaing dramatically until she leaves*




2/4/2005

Caro (4:16:31 PM): you there?
Jon (4:16:37 PM): Yeah, Hey! [ Zone Labs Security alert: Encryption is disabled because Jon is not on your contact list or invisible ]
Caro (4:16:50 PM): Woo, you're there!
Caro (4:16:55 PM): What's up?
Jon (4:17:01 PM): Not much
Jon (4:17:05 PM): Got max over
Jon (4:17:19 PM): Got my Avi edit from AznNick in the KH RP guild
Caro (4:17:29 PM): Cool
Caro (4:17:33 PM): Hi max.
Jon (4:17:47 PM): Max: Hellooo
Caro (4:18:25 PM): ^_^
Jon (4:18:51 PM): *hums the halloween town theme*
Jon (4:20:24 PM): Alright, me and Mzx are gonna go play some DDR
Jon (4:20:33 PM): Max^
Caro (4:20:35 PM): Fun!
Caro (4:20:41 PM): XP
Jon (4:20:42 PM): *nodnod*
Jon (4:21:01 PM): So see ya in a bit if you're still here when we're done
Caro (4:21:10 PM): Kay
Jon (4:41:30 PM): Backies!
Caro (4:41:34 PM): WOOO!
Caro (4:42:02 PM): XD
Jon (4:42:08 PM): Hehe
Caro (4:42:11 PM): *Is reallllly bored*
Jon (4:42:25 PM): Heh, I know what that's like
Jon (4:42:36 PM): *thinks about how to entertain her*
Caro (4:43:04 PM): *Is sending pics to Rowan*
Jon (4:43:29 PM): *nods, and the tissue box Max put on his head falls off*
Caro (4:43:47 PM): XDD
Caro (4:44:26 PM): Now I'm gonna try and put those on Gaia...
Jon (4:44:58 PM): Heh, can you resize them though?
Jon (4:45:09 PM): Cause for Gaia they have to be 640x640 pixels
Caro (4:45:10 PM): Probly
Caro (4:45:19 PM): Right. I still have to try
Jon (4:45:29 PM): *nods*
Caro (4:45:34 PM): Cause as we know my computer can be a bitch
Jon (4:45:50 PM): *nods*
Jon (4:46:03 PM): I like my compy...Shugoya's rarely a bitch
Caro (4:46:12 PM): Lucky
Jon (4:46:37 PM): *tilts his head so the Tissue box falls off again*
Caro (4:46:58 PM): *Laughs*
Jon (4:47:55 PM): *pokes her randomly*
Caro (4:48:01 PM): Meep!
Caro (4:48:22 PM): Thou hath poke'd me!
Jon (4:48:42 PM): OMG, you should've seen what happened today in Japanese
Caro (4:48:47 PM): ?
Jon (4:49:15 PM): Bria poked Rafa, and Rafa squealed! It was hilarious!
Caro (4:49:37 PM): XD OMG
Caro (4:49:41 PM): That's hillarious!
Caro (4:49:49 PM): Rafa is so cool.
Caro (4:49:59 PM): XP
Caro (4:50:06 PM): I think he's ammusing.
Caro (4:50:16 PM): *Amusing
Caro (4:50:23 PM): I don't know him well, though
Jon (4:50:56 PM): Heh, it was the highest pitched sound I've ever heard come from a senior's mouth...at least, I think he's a senior...
Caro (4:51:05 PM): Haha
Jon (4:52:08 PM): *gets poked by Max*
Jon (4:52:26 PM): *pokes back Hard*
Caro (4:52:36 PM): *Combo pokes*
Caro (4:52:54 PM): XD
Jon (4:52:59 PM): Heh.
Caro (4:53:25 PM): I just realized that you use color effects
Caro (4:53:30 PM): Wow.
Caro (4:53:36 PM): *Slow on the uptake*
Jon (4:53:41 PM): Yeah
Jon (4:55:09 PM): Don't worry about the slow part, I can be jus as oblivious, if not more
Jon (4:55:20 PM): 3.['
Caro (4:55:55 PM): *Dies*
Jon (4:56:31 PM): *holds max's arms so he can't mess with the keyboard*
Caro (4:57:03 PM): X )
Jon (4:57:05 PM): *revives* LIVE DAMNIT!!
Caro (4:57:18 PM): AHHH!
Caro (4:57:20 PM): *Lives*
Jon (4:57:41 PM):
Jon (4:57:50 PM): YAY!!
Jon (4:57:55 PM): *huggles*
Caro (4:58:10 PM): *Huggle*
Jon (4:59:50 PM): yay! I got a hug!
Caro (5:00:20 PM): Yay!
Caro (5:00:25 PM): ^_^
Caro (5:00:41 PM): *Flips off wall and falls on her ass*
Caro (5:00:46 PM): Oh well, I tried.
Jon (5:00:50 PM): You ok?
Caro (5:01:07 PM): Yep.
Caro (5:01:16 PM): *Sheepish grin*
Jon (5:01:33 PM): Good *grins back* ^_____^
Caro (5:07:45 PM): *mrrfs at pain(intheass)t*
Jon (5:08:25 PM): *sits next to her*
Caro (5:09:52 PM): Paint is not my friend
Jon (5:10:05 PM): *tilts head*
Caro (5:11:59 PM): Meh. I think it may also just be my computer.
Jon (5:12:44 PM): Ah...Need me to resize them for Gaia?
Caro (5:13:03 PM): No, I'm getting it.
Caro (5:13:07 PM): It's just being slow
Jon (5:13:20 PM): Ah
Jon (5:13:20 PM): Okies
Caro (5:13:37 PM): ^_^;;
Caro (5:13:42 PM): I'm determined.
Jon (5:14:00 PM): Heh, that's good.
Caro (5:14:02 PM): Damn Aries blood.
Caro (5:14:05 PM): XD
Jon (5:14:10 PM): Heh
Caro (5:19:21 PM): Dude, I wish you could just get the file straight for your computer >< You have to put it up on photobucket or something. (It won't let you do devART)
Jon (5:20:19 PM): *nods* I know
Caro (5:20:49 PM): It's very annoying.
Jon (5:20:49 PM): One of the reasons I'm glad I have a photobucket account, and especially that I got it while I still could
Jon (5:21:03 PM): *nods again* That it most certainly is
Jon (5:21:35 PM): *has a thermometer in his mouth because his parents think he might be getting sick 'cause his neck hurts*
Caro (5:21:53 PM): XD
Caro (5:22:07 PM): 'Cause your neck hurts?
Caro (5:22:12 PM): That's rather odd.
Jon (5:22:37 PM): Yeah...my mom says it's becuase her neck hurt before she really came down with the Flu my dad has...
Caro (5:23:03 PM): x_X
Jon (5:24:03 PM): *ruubs his neck* And man does my neck hurt..
Caro (5:24:42 PM): Sorry...
Jon (5:25:53 PM): s'ok
Jon (5:26:31 PM): Great...99.2 temp
Caro (5:26:58 PM): o.O That's not good.
Caro (5:27:13 PM): Dude, wtf.
Jon (5:27:17 PM): Hmm?
Caro (5:27:25 PM): It's not showing up that I submitted it!
Jon (5:27:35 PM): Hmm... that's odd
Caro (5:27:42 PM): No kidding.
Caro (5:28:27 PM): *Mrrfs*
Jon (5:28:36 PM): Well my temperature doesn't seem to be rising anymore...
Caro (5:28:42 PM): Good!
Jon (5:29:04 PM): *nods*
Jon (5:29:10 PM): wait...nevermind
Jon (5:29:15 PM): it jus went to 99.3
Jon (5:30:22 PM): *sigh*
Caro (5:31:05 PM): >.<
Jon (5:32:04 PM): *pokes the thermometer* Damn you high temperature, I don't want to be sick!
Caro (5:32:26 PM): *Desn't want you to be sick either*
Jon (5:32:56 PM): thanks *would hug, but doesn't want to get you sick*
Caro (5:34:21 PM): *sigh*
Caro (5:34:29 PM): Don't get sick.
Caro (5:34:34 PM): AWAY, GERMS!
Caro (5:34:43 PM): *Banishes Germs*
Jon (5:35:04 PM): *Hopes you succeeded*
Caro (5:35:09 PM): Me too
Jon (5:35:56 PM): Well, loks my temp has stopped rising...
Jon (5:36:07 PM): *goes to let his parents know*
Caro (5:36:26 PM): Good.
Jon (5:39:45 PM): Back
Jon (5:39:53 PM): Took some Tylenol...hopefully that'll help
Caro (5:39:59 PM): *Nod*
Jon (5:40:20 PM): *munches on Garden Vegetable crackers*
Caro (5:40:40 PM): XD
Jon (5:41:46 PM): ^.^ they're tasty
Caro (5:43:08 PM): Heh
Caro (5:43:30 PM): *is still chewing gum*
Caro (5:43:38 PM): AH!
Caro (5:43:46 PM): I just bit my toung XD
Jon (5:44:25 PM): *pets her* I do that too sometimes...I also somehow manage to bite my cheeks sometimes as well
Caro (5:44:35 PM): Me too
Jon (5:44:58 PM): *nods*
Jon (5:45:40 PM): *finishes off his crackers*
Caro (5:46:01 PM): I must away to upstairs, to unload ye olde dishwasher.
Caro (5:46:09 PM): But, I shall be back.
Jon (5:46:22 PM): Okies, see ya soon
Caro (5:46:30 PM): ^^
Caro (5:55:07 PM): BAck
Caro (5:55:10 PM): *back
Caro (5:55:17 PM): *Jams to Simple and Clean*
Jon (5:55:21 PM): Yay!
Caro (5:55:34 PM): ^^
Jon (5:56:11 PM): *pokes* Maybe you should- wait, nevermind...
Caro (5:56:32 PM): o.o?
Jon (5:56:43 PM): I was gonna say, you should come over tomorrow and we can beat monstro, but if I'm sick that would be a bad idea
Caro (5:56:51 PM): XD
Caro (5:57:12 PM): I'd love to, but you're right. And I want you to be better for Sunday.
Jon (5:57:52 PM): *nods* I shall get good rest and all that. hopefully I'll be better sunday.
Caro (5:58:00 PM): Yus.
Caro (5:59:03 PM): Dude. I named my iPod Fido, so whenever I plug it in, it comes up as Fido, but I think I'm going to re name it Jimmy.
Jon (5:59:11 PM): Heh
Jon (5:59:22 PM): I gotta go have dinner, so I'll be back soon
Caro (5:59:26 PM): Okay ^_^
Jon (6:10:59 PM): Back
Caro (6:12:11 PM): Yay!
Jon (6:12:57 PM): *plops on the ground*
Caro (6:13:39 PM): *Plops next to you.*
Jon (6:14:00 PM): *sniffles a little* I hate stuffy noses
Caro (6:14:18 PM): Me too.
Jon (6:15:11 PM): eh...well, no point in moping about it
Jon (6:16:25 PM): Check out the Avi edit AznNick did for me!
Jon (6:16:30 PM): http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v84/Jon/kichiroKH.gif
Caro (6:18:12 PM): DUDE
Caro (6:18:42 PM): Mandi says hi
Jon (6:18:51 PM): *says hi back and waves*
Caro (6:20:04 PM): Meep. She just got off the phone
Caro (6:20:13 PM): I'll tell her when she calls back
Jon (6:20:24 PM): *nods* okies
Caro (6:23:16 PM): *Spins around in a circle*
Jon (6:23:43 PM): *watches*
Caro (6:23:58 PM): *Falls over.*
Caro (6:24:02 PM): *Stands up*
Caro (6:24:12 PM): *Falls overagain from being dizzy*
Caro (6:24:21 PM): *Spirals in eyes*
Jon (6:24:23 PM): *catches her the second time*
Jon (6:24:52 PM): *lays her on the ground carefully*
Caro (6:26:50 PM): @_@ *Dizzy....*
Caro (6:27:21 PM): *.*
Jon (6:27:33 PM): *looks at her*
Caro (6:27:35 PM): *Sits up* Better now...
Jon (6:27:45 PM): Good *smiles*
Caro (6:27:50 PM): ^.^
Jon (6:28:24 PM): ^-^
Caro (6:29:35 PM): I just made mandi a really cool thing for her icon
Jon (6:29:45 PM): ooo, I wanna see!
Caro (6:30:57 PM): Mandi waves back Caro (6:31:09 PM): accept.
Jon (6:31:10 PM): *nods*
Jon (6:31:19 PM): I did accept it
Caro (6:31:29 PM): Did it go through?
Jon (6:31:34 PM): nope...
Caro (6:31:37 PM): grr.
Jon (6:31:38 PM): leave it open though
Caro (6:31:44 PM): I wish you had AIM
Jon (6:31:51 PM): I do have it O.o
Caro (6:31:59 PM): you do?
Jon (6:32:01 PM): yep
Caro (6:32:03 PM): What's your sn?
Jon (6:32:08 PM): Kichiro Himura
Caro (6:32:18 PM): are you on?
Jon (6:32:22 PM): *nods*
Jon (6:32:25 PM): I'm always on
Caro (6:35:19 PM): anywho
Jon (6:36:10 PM): Yesh
Jon (6:36:32 PM): um...
Jon (6:37:12 PM): I made an attribute system for the RPs in the KH guild...
Jon (6:37:22 PM): I think I did pretty well for my first try
Caro (6:38:05 PM): Cool
Caro (6:38:10 PM): I could never do it XD
Jon (6:38:32 PM): Heh...it was difficult
Jon (6:38:51 PM): the way I made it though, criticals are absolutely devastating...
Caro (6:39:38 PM): I wish I could come up with stuff like that XDDD So, do people use it?
Jon (6:40:07 PM): Well, it's currently in the testing phase
Jon (6:40:13 PM): I'm jus seeing if it works so far
Caro (6:40:47 PM): *Nods whilst killing devART's submission thing*
Jon (6:41:13 PM): Yeah...I don't like DevArt very much overall
Caro (6:41:49 PM): I love devART, it's just that the submission thing used to be so much better
Jon (6:42:10 PM): I haven't used it in..like...a year...
Caro (6:42:23 PM): XD
Jon (6:43:57 PM): YES!! Someone actually made their attribute sheet!
Caro (6:44:00 PM): YAY!
Jon (6:45:14 PM): Yeah...Of course, I did make my attributes somewhat like Hunter's RPG, you know, with his being all my experience with them, but I think I did a pretty good job of making my own.
Caro (6:45:51 PM): Can I see?
Jon (6:45:59 PM): sure
Jon (6:46:35 PM): Here's how the basics of the attributes system work. You get 7 Stat areas: Endurance Power Strength Speed Coordnation Focus Magical ability Endurance detemines HP Power determines number of dice for physical attacks Strength determines number of dice for covering, or blocking an attack on a teamate. Speed determines Dodging ability, or defense against attacks on yourself. Coordnation determines number of dice for a counter attack Focus determines number of dice for magic attacks and Magical ability determines MP. For exactly how it works, HP is 2 times endurance Number of dice for attacking is one half of power, rounded down Number of dice for blocking is one half of strength, rounded down Number of dice for dodging is one half of speed, rounded down
Jon (6:46:55 PM): Number of dice for countering is one half of coordnation, rounded down Number of dice for attacking with magic is one half of focus, rounded down MP is exactly your Magical ability.
Jon (6:47:07 PM): Alright... as to the Attribute points. You start with five in endurance. Youn cannot add more to this with your beginning attribute points, only with the attribute points you get by leveling up. For the rest of the Attributes: You get a total of 30 attribute points to spend. This allows you to get 5 in each, or you can specialize in certain areas.
Jon (6:47:30 PM): that's about it
Caro (6:47:47 PM): Cool beans.
Caro (6:48:05 PM): http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/14842739/
Jon (6:48:43 PM): cool
Caro (6:49:07 PM): *Has defeated the submission process*
Jon (6:50:18 PM): dundundundun dun dun dun dundun *Final Fantasy Fanfare*
Caro (6:50:40 PM): *Laughs*
Jon (6:51:16 PM): *ish pleased that he's amusing*
Caro (6:52:03 PM): Yes, definitely amusing. ^_^
Jon (6:52:41 PM): yayness
Caro (6:52:48 PM): teehee
Jon (6:53:26 PM): *grins* ^______^
Caro (6:56:34 PM): here, I wanna send you something else
Jon (6:57:22 PM): ooo, what is it?
Caro (6:57:42 PM): A song.
Jon (6:58:00 PM): ooo!
Caro (6:59:59 PM): Okay, Ima be back after eating dinner.
Caro (7:00:11 PM): Hopefully I'll get to be on for a while after that
Jon (7:00:22 PM): alright, see ya soon *waves*
Caro (7:09:06 PM): Backalicious
Jon (7:09:15 PM): Yay!
Jon (7:09:23 PM): I might be slow, because I'm testing my system
Caro (7:09:25 PM): Did you like the song?
Jon (7:09:26 PM): but I'm still here
Jon (7:09:29 PM): Yeah
Caro (7:09:33 PM): Hehe
Jon (7:09:34 PM): it was, interesting
Caro (7:09:37 PM): XD
Caro (7:09:39 PM): Yea
Caro (7:10:13 PM): *Gets another peice of gum* XP
Jon (7:14:00 PM): Heh
Jon (7:14:43 PM): Hey, what do you think of this dodge and attack?
Jon (7:14:45 PM): *it looks almost like Kee is punched in the stomach by an invisible force, and that same force lifts him up by that point, throwing him into the air. He brings his feet over his head, and bring one down on top of Nick's head, then uses it to backflip off, and comes in with an uppercut*
Caro (7:15:23 PM): Out of a ten, I give it a 5.7
Jon (7:16:28 PM): Heh...
Caro (7:16:43 PM): XDD
Jon (7:16:56 PM): Yeah, I thought it was about a six myself
Caro (7:17:01 PM): *Nods*
Caro (7:18:23 PM): Well, round up and it's a general concensis.
Jon (7:18:31 PM): Yep
Jon (7:21:17 PM): *looks at the ground*
Caro (7:21:53 PM): *Blinks*
Jon (7:22:20 PM): *continues staring at the ground*
Caro (7:22:58 PM): *Walks over and pokes his shoulder* What's up? Or, perhaps, down.
Jon (7:23:23 PM): *looks up at her* oh, nothing really
Caro (7:24:13 PM): *Tilts head and looks at him* "You sure? That's an awful lot of staring at the ground. Is there something interesing on your shoe?
Jon (7:25:02 PM): *nods* Yeah, I'm sure. It's jus that...well, the ground is where I usually look.
Caro (7:25:04 PM): *Kills the quote mark*
Caro (7:25:43 PM): *Nods* I generaly have to look at the ground while I'm moving.
Caro (7:29:14 PM): *Dances*
Jon (7:31:43 PM): *watches her dance*
Caro (7:32:34 PM): *Sits on the ground and looks up at him* Now there's something to look at on the ground.
Jon (7:33:05 PM): Heh...That there is
Caro (7:33:27 PM): *Grins wryly*
Jon (7:33:45 PM): *blinks*
Caro (7:34:13 PM): *Laughs*
Caro (7:35:04 PM): I have twenty minutes before I must depart.
Jon (7:35:12 PM): Awww...
Jon (7:35:24 PM): well, lets enjoy our 20 minutes together then
Caro (7:35:29 PM): Indeed ^_^
Caro (7:36:01 PM): How's your system working? *Motions for him to sit on the ground*
Jon (7:36:50 PM): *sits next to her* Well, Nick doesn't get quite how the battling works, but I'm kind of instructing him. Other than that though it's working well
Jon (7:37:01 PM): I'm winning the battle by 1 HP too.
Jon (7:37:07 PM): >w<
Caro (7:37:14 PM): XD
Jon (7:38:17 PM): *listens to Mr. Roboto again*
Caro (7:38:28 PM): Heehee *LOVES that song*
Jon (7:38:56 PM): It IS a pretty cool song....very interesting
Caro (7:39:11 PM): Yea. I think it's rockin'.
Caro (7:39:22 PM): Styx is a pretty cool band with great lyrics.
Jon (7:39:32 PM): *nods*
Caro (7:40:01 PM): Love is the Ritual is an awesome song, too.
Caro (7:40:11 PM): I'll send it to you next time I'm on.
Jon (7:40:34 PM): sweet
Caro (7:40:38 PM): ^.^
Caro (7:41:25 PM): XD I should just burn you the cds.
Jon (7:41:31 PM): Heh, yeah...
Caro (7:41:34 PM): 'Cause it's all really cool.
Jon (7:41:45 PM): Sounds it
Caro (7:42:15 PM): Most of their song are much more rock-ish, but I lurve them.
Jon (7:42:55 PM): *nods*
Caro (7:44:15 PM): I think one of my favorite lines is is "My heart is human/ my blood is boiling/ my brain's IBM
Caro (7:44:17 PM): "
Jon (7:46:17 PM): Heh, yeah, I found that pretty amusing
Jon (7:46:42 PM): Man am I getting lucky in my test fight.
Caro (7:47:14 PM): Heh.
Caro (7:47:24 PM): *Points at her new icon*
Caro (7:47:29 PM): It's Rei!
Caro (7:47:32 PM): XD
Jon (7:47:40 PM): Yesh, I noticed.
Caro (7:48:08 PM): *Huggles Rei, who looks at her very strangely. Walks back over.* Ahem.
Jon (7:48:35 PM): *laughs*
Caro (7:48:45 PM): Yay! I made you laugh!
Jon (7:49:02 PM): Heh, that you did
Caro (7:49:04 PM): ^__^
Caro (7:49:14 PM): *Happy dance*
Jon (7:49:54 PM): *Smiles, watching her dance*
Caro (7:50:06 PM): *Stops and looks up at the sky*
Jon (7:50:54 PM): *looks up too, wondering what she's looking at*
Caro (7:51:04 PM): Stars. Lots of them.
Jon (7:51:28 PM): Oh...those. Yeah, they're pretty cool, aren't they?
Caro (7:51:33 PM): Heh. Yea.
Caro (7:52:04 PM): Billiant balls of fire is space.
Caro (7:52:08 PM): *In
Jon (7:52:22 PM): Mhmmm...
Caro (7:52:58 PM): *Laughs* Now I'm just being weird again. *Scolds self*
Caro (7:53:03 PM): Anywho, today
Caro (7:53:15 PM): Or was this yeterday?"
Caro (7:53:18 PM): Anyway
Caro (7:53:44 PM): Jordan wrote on my arm "I *Heart* Ben Chait"
Caro (7:53:52 PM): XD
Caro (7:54:00 PM): And I have no idea who that is.
Jon (7:54:09 PM): Heh, that's interesting
Caro (7:54:23 PM): It was like, Ben Chait day, or something
Caro (7:54:36 PM): People were wearing shirts that said it too.
Caro (7:54:56 PM): And I was thinking, "Wow. This is weird. And who the hell is Ben Chait?"
Caro (7:55:07 PM): XD
Jon (7:55:27 PM): Yeah
Jon (7:55:40 PM): *ponders that matter*
Caro (7:55:56 PM): supposedly he's some senior.
Caro (7:56:23 PM): *Ponders the book of blank music paper in front of her.*
Jon (7:56:43 PM): *looks at the music book*
Caro (7:57:07 PM): *Shows him*
Caro (7:57:19 PM): It's just a book of blank sheet music.
Jon (7:57:25 PM): I see...
Caro (7:57:27 PM): Yea.
Caro (7:57:52 PM): I got it so that when I sit down to think of a song of such, I can actually write it down.
Caro (7:58:04 PM): *or
Jon (7:58:46 PM): *nods* that's cool
Caro (7:58:50 PM): Yea.
Caro (8:02:35 PM): Well, my dear friend, it is time once more for me to take my leave. *Grins* In the words of Romeo, "Parting is such sweet sorrow". (I can't think of something creative to say, so I'm going to steal someone elses) And that's actually in the original englesh, unlike the stuff we have to read. ; . ;
Caro (8:02:44 PM): XD
Jon (8:03:12 PM): heh, well, Oyasuminasai. *gives her a hugs before she leaves*
Caro (8:03:28 PM): *Hugs*
Caro (8:03:39 PM): Talk to you next time. ^.^
Jon (8:03:48 PM): yep, ja mata

Are you crying?

:: 2005 31 January :: 9.08 am

I'm at school!


~Caro

2 See through my crystal fearsXD | Are you crying?

:: 2005 30 January :: 7.36 pm

I feen uncomfortable in my skin. Very uncomfortable. I feel sick, and blah and weird. Not normal Caro weird. Not good weird.


Make it go away.

Are you crying?

:: 2005 30 January :: 6.41 pm

Caro: Hey
Kat: hullo
Kat: can I help you with something?
dragongurl4390: ?
dragongurl4390: ...just saying hi...
Kat: k cool, got it


? *Is sad*


~Caro

Are you crying?

:: 2005 20 January :: 5.06 pm

Oh yea. (Again)
dragongurl4390: Hey. I might be in the news
dragongurl4390: We protested today at BHS
DoMinaTriX HeeLs: protested because of the inauguration?
dragongurl4390: Yea
DoMinaTriX HeeLs: ah.
DoMinaTriX HeeLs: how many protesters?
dragongurl4390: Dunno. Not as many as I thought there'd be
dragongurl4390: But there were newscasters 'n such
DoMinaTriX HeeLs: did they interview ya/
dragongurl4390: Nu
dragongurl4390: Our leadres told us not to say anything to the press
dragongurl4390: because they can take stuff out of context.
dragongurl4390: Though one guy came up to me and was like
dragongurl4390: "Are you making a sign?"
dragongurl4390: And I was like, "Yea."
dragongurl4390: This was of course, TOTALY obvious.
dragongurl4390: I'm like, sitting there writing on a big peice of cardboard.
DoMinaTriX HeeLs: hahahaha
DoMinaTriX HeeLs: that's awesome.
dragongurl4390: I was thinking, DUH

2 See through my crystal fearsXD | Are you crying?

:: 2005 20 January :: 4.53 pm

Oh yea.
Mandi broke up with David -_- This is getting tiring.

Are you crying?

:: 2005 20 January :: 4.51 pm

Well, I went to a protest today. Some of the kids at Boulder High decided to protest Bush's election and support peace. So a bunch uf us went out and made all sorts of signs and wrote suff on the sidewalk and went to the road and such. Eventually we all ended up trying to get honks for peace. (We got flipped off a bunch, but we got a hella lota honks.) ^_^ It was fun. However, it involved me not going to 4th, 5th, 6th or 7th period. u.u Oh well. Mom wasn't mad. ^_^ It was fun. This hippie named Joe came and protested with us. HE WAS SO COOL. After yelling till our throats were sore and we were too tired to jump up and down any more we all went and listened to people (Mostly Joe) play gituar and sing while we chilled. It was really cool. I also got one of those "silent protest" bracelets. ^___^ It was so cool!!!!!!!!


~Caro

2 See through my crystal fearsXD | Are you crying?

:: 2005 16 January :: 7.18 am

WOW.

Mom just woke up and came in and was like, "Oh no. Have you been up all night?" And nodded and she was like, "SHIT." And slammed ze door. wtf? Well, I'm in no mood to find out. I'm rping on Gaia.

1 See through my crystal fears | Are you crying?

:: 2005 16 January :: 6.54 am

I've been awake for twenty one hours. @_@ BUT I AIN'T TIAHD! Just hyper as muther fuck! +_+


!CARO!

Are you crying?

:: 2005 8 January :: 6.58 pm

There are five friends in my life who mean more to me than anything.

Nee, Kelly, Mandi, Kat and Kate.

I love you guys.


~Caro

2 See through my crystal fearsXD | Are you crying?

:: 2005 8 January :: 6.48 pm

Aimee leaves for Cali again on Monday.

Are you crying?

:: 2005 8 January :: 12.27 pm

She Said She Listens
Mandi made me a promise, Me and Herself, that if she broke up with Will, she would not get back with David, either.

And what did she do? Huh?

SHE GOT BACK WITH DAVID.

Now, this would hurt if it had just been her breaking a promise with me that I knew would be good for her, and breaking a promise to me in general. But you know what? I thought I was over her, but I'm not. There was once again that faint sence of hope in the back of my mind. But within a week! She's already back with David! It pisses me off! She's only skrewing herself over. AGAIN! Every fucking time, she skrews herself over. I have a bad feeling about this, I told her that, I did! And every single time, when I have a bad feeling about something, it comes true. But does she listen!? NO! No. As a mater of fact, we had just been talking about how people should listen to me. And she said, "I listen to you." BUT SHE DOESN'T. Nupe. Not to a word I say. I tried to warn her about Cody, and Matt, AND DAVID THE LAST TIME! It ended up skrewing her over then, it'll do the same now! Gah! She doesn't listen! Sometimes I wonder if she doesn't like skrewing herself over.

*Sigh* I know she doesn't.


But it sure seems like she does.

Are you crying?

:: 2005 7 January :: 7.16 pm
:: Mood: listless

You know how when three people walk, there's always one poerson who's walking behind the other two?

I'm that person. Always. Example: Me, Kat, and Mike are walking down the street to go home from school, and I start out next to them at the light. As we walk, I somehow manage to magicaly be behind them. They didn't even notice when I fell behind them, got lost in the crowd of people and went to my mom's car. Now, I could blame this on the street not being wide enough for three people to walk abreast, but I can't, due to the fact that when Jeff is with us, he walks next to them, and I'm still in the dust, trying despirately to hear what they're saying and take part in the conversation and be part of it all. I'm the one who knew Kat first. I was freshman number one. Geff wasnumber two, Mike was three. But today I got demoted to number two because Mike didn't want to be number three.
Kat doesn't realize that I worship the ground she walks on. She doesn't think she's worth anything, but I do. She's artistic, she smart, she's funny as hell, she pretty. If she reads this, she'll say she's not. She'll say she's not worth me worshiping her. But she is to me. I'm her number one fan. The fact that she's my friend means so much to me. But I'm being left in the dust. I'm the odd one out.

And it hurts like Hell.



~Caro~

Are you crying?

:: 2005 1 January :: 1.50 pm

Fwah
New layout. Again.
I'm turning into Nee. *Laughs*

I went to Hunter's last night for a New Year's Eve RPG. It was a lot of fun. We were doing a new roleplay based on Ghost in the Shell. It was awesome. My character is a Cat Girl Pirate-Hacker ^_^ I had to leave early, so I left her for Hunter to use. Hope he didn't kill her >.>

Anywho, Aimee's dad is doing very well, which makes her happy, which makes me happy. So yea. I'm happy.


Love you all. (Especialy Nee)


~Caro

3 See through my crystal fearsXD | Are you crying?

:: 2004 30 December :: 7.07 pm

Add two more to the death toll. It now consists of (In cronological order):
1. Aimee's dad (Dying)
2. Megabyte
3. Tess's Aunt
4. Kat's Great Grandmother, the one person in her family who understood her.

Are you crying?

:: 2004 29 December :: 7.10 pm

I am now the proud owner of pants that aren't black.


Kate was just here. We had loads of fun. It's cool to actually get to see her. We talk on the phone all the time, but we don't really get to see eachother. So it's great when we do. Yah.

Pretty much all I had to say.


~Caro

1 See through my crystal fears | Are you crying?

:: 2004 26 December :: 8.01 pm

Well, feeling a thousand times better. I guess the holliday cheer finally got to me.

Dude. Two best prsents: a hat with cat ears on it *Squees* and my grandmum got me and my sister iPod minis! *DANCE* She like spent all her gift money on getting them for me and Aimee. We were totaly not expecting them and our jaws kind of dropped when we opened the package with the "holy shit" look on our faces. They're pink. (Not my first choice, but hell, I'm not complaining.)

I'm starting to adjust to Meg not being here, though once again when all of us retuned from being out, I expected to go to the bottom of the stairs and see Meg sitting at the top of the stairs, waiting to see if we were really home. I haven't cried about her in three days, which is major progress.

I might get to see Kelly tomorrow or the next day.Yea.

I'm going to a party at Kat's for New Years. That should be fun.

Yea.

Love you all.


~Caro

Are you crying?

:: 2004 24 December :: 8.41 pm

So I went to mass with mum dad 'n aim. It turned out we was an hour early, yah. I started sobbing at some point in that time and had to come home. So here I am, alone, with no way to contact Nee. WHICH SUCKS. And mum and dadare probly gonna be home soon, so I won't be able to talk then. MOTHERFUCKINGHELL.


~Caro

4 See through my crystal fearsXD | Are you crying?

:: 2004 24 December :: 8.40 pm

Your love is... by ChibiMarronchan
Your name is...
Your kiss is...	mysterious
Your hugs are...	warm
Your eyes...	light up a day
Your touch is...	heart warming
Your smell is...	beautiful
Your smile is...	entrancing
Your love is...	everlasting
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Are you crying?

:: 2004 24 December :: 8.36 pm

I know who's voice it was now.


Alex.

It was Alex.


~Caro

Are you crying?

:: 2004 24 December :: 8.33 pm

You are night, you are dark and mysterious, you
have more than likly been through some kind of
truma, depression. you have a creative mind,
and more than likly find peace enjoyment in
drawing, painting, writing. You are closed and
hidden away from people, and hide you emotions
behind a wall which you use on people. Try to
become more open, spread your creativity, you
have no idea of how many people there are out
there like you, exposing your art and yourself
can make other people come out, so many people
would look up to your for your courage and your
spirit, your not evil or bad, just
missunderstood, so get out there and show them
just what you are made of, don't worry about
what other people think, it's what you think
that really matters. Please rate this quiz!!!


What Element Would You Rule Over If You Were A Vampire?
brought to you by Quizilla

Are you crying?

:: 2004 23 December :: 1.08 pm
:: Mood: blah

New layout. Hope you all like it. I do. I should probably post the poem I wrot that inspired the last two layouts, and possibly more to come. I'll do that at the botom of this entry.

Mandi couldn't help last night. And I figured out who's voice it was. Alex. It was Alex's voice. He hasn't said anything since. That worries me somewhat.

I'm really, really tired. Like, really tired. It sucks. I need to stop crying about Meg, 'cause it's gonna ruin Christmas for everyone. So I'm gonna shut up and be brave. Buah.

Haven't heard anything from Nee lately.

Okay. I need to go now. See you all later.


~Caro

And so the story ends my friend,
It is more,
This is the end.
I smile upon your lifeless body,
Sword in hand.
I see your blood,
the incarnadine hue that I love.
Ah, to see your blood spilt at last,
by my hand,
by my hand.
I laugh,
Laugh at your spirit as it reluctantly leaves its useless pathetic shell.
Yes,
You were always pathetic,
always useless.
I turn from this scene of death and damage,
Smiling still.
Leaving for you
A rose,
That same incarnadine color,
The color of my love for you.

4 See through my crystal fearsXD | Are you crying?

:: 2004 22 December :: 7.06 pm
:: Mood: weird

gah
Soooooooo...
Cried about my dog again today.

I went to Petsmart and got a dog tag just like hers, which said "Hi! I'm Megabyte Pert" Then our address and phone number.
Mine says "In loving memory of Megabyte Pert"
It made me cry. I don't wanna cry anymore. I hate crying. I hate it. It makes me feel weak and helpless, just like I really am. Weak and pathetic, just like I really am. I don't like feeling helpless. I don't like feeling weak. I like to try and pretend that I'm not, and I do a pretty good job of hiding from myself sometimes. And when I cry, the mask breaks off and shatters.

For some reason a thought just popped into my head. I just heard of voice saying franticly, "I don't wanna die, I don't wanna die, I don't wanna die..."
What the fuck.
There it is again. It keeps playing in my head! What the fuck! Just like music stuck in your head. "I don't wanna die I don't wanna die!" Gah! Somebody help me! Please!

Gotta call mandi. She can help, I know she can.

Are you crying?