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Black roses and Silver tears

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Angel_Bob

:: 2003 9 November :: 12.35pm
:: Music: Blessed to Be a Witness

I am blessed
Shayna downloaded that song for me....I love her.

So I just woke up. I'm going to go eat then take a shower and finish finishing Ben's present.

Then I guess I'll call Ben and see when we can all head over there and call my parents to see if I can go. Then I'll have to find a ride.

w00t!

I love you all.

1 See through my crystal fears | Are you crying?

mudpiegrl

:: 2003 9 November :: 3.15am
:: Mood: tired

more quizzies...and tiredness
Your soul is bound to the White Rose: The
Pure.

"I've been waiting in the dark for a long
time, shining my beacon of hope through the
shadow. If you see me, don't you hide your
eyes from me."

The White Rose is associated with purity, honor,
and chastity. It is governed by the goddess
Artemis and its sign is The Cross, or Agape.

As a White Rose, you are a person of your word.
You may have a strong moral code, but
regardless of your virtue, you always stay true
to yourself. To you, love is the most pure of
emotional forms and it's just a matter of
waiting for it to bless you. Some people may
say you are too idealistic, but it's only
because you don't want to mess things up.


What Rose Is Your Soul Bound To?
brought to you by Quizilla
orange
You are Orange.
You are outgoing and optomistic. You always try to
find the bright spot in everything. You are
energetic and people are naturally attracted to
you. However, you are not always sure of what
your purpose or goals are.
Most Compatible With: Fresh Mint


Which Tic-Tac Flavor Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
~guys am orange! no cheating either!~

Sapphire
! You are most Like A Sapphire !
Dark, mysterious - but unforgettable. You have a
deep
beauty. Delicate, and shy you try to stay away from
the
limelight but often your intelligence puts you in
at the
deep end. You're like a Sapphire, because, your
beauty is priceless.
You're intelligent, full of opinions, and not big-
headed about it all.
Sometimes you need to put yourself out there, as
you can be a bit shy.
Congratulations ... You're the mysterious gem
everybody wants to have and learn more about.


?? Which Precious Gem Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla
~i dont agree...::sigh:: o well...i like emeralds better...~

owl
Your soul is bound to the Fourth Totem, Solomon:
The Owl.

Solomon appears as an azure feathered owl. He
embodies wisdom, judgement, reason, and
stability. He is associated with the color
azure, the season of autumn, and the element of
water. His downfall is farsightedness.

You are most compatible with Ravens and Monkeys.


Which Animal Spirit Totem Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
~patrice, you can be a monkey; jennifer, you eat like a bird, you can be a raven!~

Loud Drunk.
"WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"
You end up losing all inhibitions and scream out
song lyrics, animal noises, or obscenities...
usually from on top of a table or counter.


What Kind of Drunk are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
~i always wondered that...~

Angel
You are... WAIT! - you're none of the Sins you're
an Angel!
Perfect, or close enough, and annoyingly so! Did
you always
behave so 'just right'. ARGHHH . You can annoy the
hell outta
people with your attitude, but no doubt your church
is real happy
with you. The positive side certainly outweighs the
negative,
after all, you do chores, are smart, are cute, do
charity work.
Least you know what a perfect saint you are. You
just make the rest
of us sinners vomit. Perhaps you could break the
rules once in a while, go wild - Eat an extra
cookie or something.
However - congratulations on being the most pure,
of the entire human race.


?? Which Of The Seven Deadly Sins Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla
~im laughing....in my head, im laughing.~

ama take it again!

Season = Winter
You're Most Like The Season Winter ...

You're often depicted as the cold, distant season.
But you're incredibly intelligent, mature and
Independant. You have an air of power around
you - and that can sometimes scare people off.
You're complex, and get hurt easily - so you
rarely let people in if you can help it. You
can be somewhat of a loner, but just as easily
you could be the leader of many. You Tend to be
negative, and hard to relate to, but you give
off a relaxed image despite being insecure -
and secretly many people long to be like you,
not knowing how deep the Winter season really
is.

Well done... You're the most inspirational of
seasons :)


?? Which Season Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla
~again, i dont agree...i think im more fallish, o well, my picture is prettiest!~



4 See through my crystal fearsXD | Are you crying?

mudpiegrl

:: 2003 9 November :: 2.26am
:: Mood: bored

quizzies
Hello average (wo)man. Your future looks not good
but not bad. You will have an average job. This
job will seem average or good to everybody, but
I am afraid that that is the best that I could
tell you. If this stuff you are reading is
wacko to you, please ignore it and read all
possible answers and just pick one you like and
take it for yourself. Do not feel disappointed
if the stuff you are going to read right now is
going to disappoint you. The college you went
to or is going to go to was or is going to be
above average, and it is known. If you tell
somebody that you went to that college at that
time they would say that it was good and they
have heard of it. You have a number of people
that are your friends Not too much and not too
little. You may have heard of the word average
right? Yes, that is the number of friends you
have. I sure hope you have a happy life right
now because you will go WEEEEEEEEE down. When
you are older, adults and mostly kids will make
fun of the baldness of your head even if you
are a woman. Sorry. I knew that you were
relieved for a moment but too bad now. It seems
like you wont ever want to go out because kids
will make fun of you. The good thing is that
you will have the energy/strength to walk, but
you wished that you didnt so you wouldnt have
to go out. Sorry little (wo)man. Youll be stuck
in a hospital after all of that happens. Youll
die when you are 94. You wanted to commit
suicide when you were about 92 the year you
went to the hospital. How weird. Youll die on
your birthday, too.


The Quiz of Luck - What Will Happen In Your Future?
brought to you by Quizilla
My inner child is sixteen years old today

My inner child is sixteen years old!


Life's not fair! It's never been fair, but while
adults might just accept that, I know
something's gotta change. And it's gonna
change, just as soon as I become an adult and
get some power of my own.


How Old is Your Inner Child?
brought to you by Quizilla
~how ironic~

GIRLY GIRL - Clever Kitty
A GIRLY-GIRL. You dont have a lot of self-esteem
and people are always bringing you down for
being sad. What do they know, anyway? You feel
like youre too mature for your age and are
frustrated by the trend-followers who refuse to
accept you because youre not like them.
Your virtues: Intelligence, understanding nature,
modesty.
Your flaws: Lack of social life, inferiority
complex, timidity.


What kind of girl are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
~i hate it.~

uni
You are Form 3, Unicorn: The Innocent.

"And The Unicorn knew she wasn't meant to
go into the Dark Wood. Disregarding the advice
given to her by the spirits, Unicorn went
inside and bled silver blood.. For her
misdeed, the world knew evil."

Some examples of the Unicorn Form are Eve
(Christian) and Pandora (Greek).
The Unicorn is associated with the concept of
innocence, the number 3, and the element of
water.
Her sign is the twilight sun.

As a member of Form 3, you are a curious
individual. You are drawn to new things and
become fascinated with ideas you've never come
in contact with before. Some people may say
you are too nosey, but it's only because you
like getting to the bottom of things and
solving them. Unicorns are the best friends to
have because they are inquisitive.


Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Food poisioning. (Ha, you thought you were going to
be hit by a car!)

http://spartacus007.tblog.com Political Satire
http://www.LiberalClassic.com Buy unique pro-
Liberty apparel, bumper stickers and books!


How Will You Die?
brought to you by Quizilla
Morpheus
Morpheus


?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla
Not Funny
You are *NOT* funny, you think you are, but you are
not. You are the person who sits next to
somebody on a long bus or plane rides telling
anectdotes and stories that are interesting
only to you. People find ways to avoid being
trapped with you while you tell stories and
jokes, and you don't even notice. Stop trying
to be funny, you just aren't. Not everyone can
be the comedian. Not everyone can be the clown.
You are neither. Your humor isn't happening.
Move on.

WAIT! THERE IS ONE WAY TO SAVE YOURSELF, GO TO:
href="http://pub98.ezboard.com/bkickbanned">http://pub98.ezboard.com/bkickbanned


How funny are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
eflatmajor
Eb major - you are warm and kind, always there for
your friends, who are in turn there for you.
You are content with your confortable life and
what you are currently achieving; if you keep
in this state you will go far.


what key signature are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Smirk
You're the smirk,a frown-smile hybrid that's a
little bit cocky and usually associated with
evil or arrogant,but attractive people.You
probably just don't give a damn,but it's
everyone else's fault if you don't because
you're too awesome to have any real faults.


What Kind of Smile are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
AMBIGUITY:

Your sphere choice is too ambiguous. We are very
sorry, but this quiz was not able to help you.
Your answers did not produce any concrete
direction for you to work in. You may take the
quiz as many times as you like, just to see if
a slightly different combination of answers
might produce a result, but you should really
talk to one of the guides.


Which sphere should you choose?
brought to you by Quizilla
~?~

Reagan
You are really short


How Tall Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Anthem, by Ayn Rand


What Product Best Fits You?
brought to you by Quizilla
~this child confuses me~

soda
You are my Baking Soda!


Which object in my refrigerator are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Are you crying?

mudpiegrl

:: 2003 9 November :: 2.13am
:: Mood: blank
:: Music: computer: *hmmmmmm*

huh?
hey...just got home from babysitting...yup...thats ti....i watched the movie version of les mis....i was pissed....no eponine....um....yea.....

Earth
Your element is Earth. I hate to say it but you are
down to earth. Stubborn and loyal. You tend to
want to nurture others and you are the one
person friends always come to for awnsers.
Without people like you others would be flying
over the edge because, whether you know it or
not you keep a steady beat to your life and
will end up where you want to in the end. There
is a sureness about you that is hard to match
that draws people to you. No matter what
happens the Earth keeps turning.


What's your element
brought to you by Quizilla

3 See through my crystal fearsXD | Are you crying?

Angel_Bob

:: 2003 8 November :: 9.14pm
:: Mood: cranky

I am blessed
At the end of every Joan of Arcadia episode, they tell you the name of the artist(s) and CD(s) played during that episode.

I was re-watching last night's episode and the final song that plays is now firmly planted in my mind.

The sad thing is, it's downloading so slowly because I guess no one on iMesh has cable internet.

Ben Harper - Blessed to Be a Witness [Lyrics: Click + to display]+


I love you all.

4 See through my crystal fearsXD | Are you crying?

Angel_Bob

:: 2003 8 November :: 7.50pm

Joan of Arcadia
I'm too lazy to do the HTML codes for color so... Joan'll be bold and God'll be italicized.


You have a lot to answer for, buddy, nobody asked to be born. So we all get to die then eveybody we love dies.

Yeah.

That's good for you.

Joan, there's nothing I could say about that that would make sense to you.

A lot of what happens here sucks. So much for your perfect system. Can you see me being really mad at you right now?

Yes.

Why does it have to be so hard?

What specifically?

Being alive? Let's start there.

You wish you weren't alive?

No, I...I don't know. I wish it didn't hurt so much.

It hurts because you feel it, Joan. Because you're alive. You love people and that generates a lot of power, a lot of energy. The same kind of energy that binds atoms together and we've all seen what happens when you try to pry them apart.

So if I don't get attached to people then it won't hurt so much.

No, it's in your nature to get attached to people. I put that in the recipe. It's when you guys try to ignore that, when you try to go it alone. That's when it gets ugly. It's hell.

It's hell like the Hell?

...Oh, look, it's your house.

Go on, Joan, people are waiting for you.

1 See through my crystal fears | Are you crying?

Angel_Bob

:: 2003 8 November :: 7.23pm
:: Mood: curious

K-PAX quotes
"The universe will expand, then it will collapse back on itself again. It will repeat this process forever. What you don't know is that when the universe expands again, everything will be as it is now. Whatever mistakes you make this time around you will live through on your next pass. Every mistake you make you will live through, again and again, forever. So my advice is to get it right this time around, because this time is all you have."

"Let me tell you something, Mark. You humans (most of you) subscribe to this policy of an eye for an eye, a life for a life, which is known throughout the universe for its stupidity. Even your Buddah and your Christ have quite a different vision but nobody's paid much attention to them, not even the Buddists or the Christians. You humans...sometimes it's hard to imagine how you've made it this far."


I'm going to go finish Ben's present now.

1 See through my crystal fears | Are you crying?

Lavitz1985

:: 2003 8 November :: 5.59pm
:: Mood: Shaky

I don't know how many more entries I shall be making. I just don't seem to get online enough to make them, not to mention I have nothing in my life worth reporting... other than my friends. Without them, I would never have lasted this long. I owe my life to you all. I will be leaving for the army soon, and though I won't be able to see you much anymore... I shall never forget you. I love you all and can't wait to see you again. I don't care about what troubles we've had in the past, I still wish to be near you guys. I ask that you not forget me, despite that it may be tempting. I will try to do what I can to have a party before I leave for basic training. All will be invited.

Take care and I love you all.

Angel_Bob

:: 2003 8 November :: 2.20pm

I found Grand Ledge...um...it's far away.

Distance: 66.0 miles
Approximate Travel Time: 1 hour 22 mins


There's a DDR machine in Battle Creek but that's a bit far also.

Distance: 72.4 miles
Approximate Travel Time: 1 hour 54 mins


Then there's Pinball Pete's which we drive by everytime we go to Wizzywig...over in Ann Arbor.

Distance: 146.2 miles
Approximate Travel Time: 2 hours 28 mins


So. I think we're going to have to see if maybe we could get an arcade going or something. Or get the arcade at Celebration to get it. Hey, that's a good idea. Hm. Where else around here has an arcade?

Right. Well I'm gonna either finish up Ben's present or go play DDR. I can finish the present anytime but I go through phases in which I want to play DDR. So DDR it is.

I love you all.

4 See through my crystal fearsXD | Are you crying?

Angel_Bob

:: 2003 8 November :: 2.12pm

Where's Grand Ledge, MI?
Here's the song list for Ultramix. That DDR game on the XBox.


Castles In The Sky
Ready Steady Go
Do That Thang (Mash Radio Edit)
Shiny Disco Balls
0.59
AFTER THE GAME OF LOVE
Candy Heart (vocal version)
DIVE
DXY!
exotic ethnic
Hypnotic Crisis
INFINITE PRAYER
KEEP ON MOVIN' (DMX Mix)
Kind Lady
Let the Beat Hit 'Em (Classic R&B Style)
Look To The Sky (True Color Mix)
On The Jazz
PARANOiA ETERNAL
Sana Mollete Ne Ente
SEXY PLANET
Superstar
The Earth Light
TRIP MACHINE (LuvMIX)
ABSOLUTE (Cuff-N-Stuff it Mix)
Ballad For You
CAN'T STOP FALLIN' IN LOVE (SPEED MIX)
DROP THE BOMB
Electro Tuned (the SubS Mix)
Healing Vision
Hysteria
INSERTION (Machine Gun Kelly Mix)
Keep ya body movin'
La Senorita Virtual
Let' talk it over
Luv To Metiger
Overblast!!
Quickening
Secret Rendezvous
So In Love
Sweet Sweet Magic
There 4 You
Tsugaru


Yes, I am having a DDR obsessive day. Now taisez-vous and move along.

I love you all.

2 See through my crystal fearsXD | Are you crying?

Angel_Bob

:: 2003 8 November :: 1.43pm
:: Music: On Fire by Switchfoot

This might be my favorite Switchfoot song
Konami made a game that judges how well you sing based on pitch and rhythm: Karaoke Revolution.

I found the song list too. It's pretty good actually. It has some songs I attempt to sing daily on it.

Oh and "expansion discs should be available in the future" so maybe some even better songs could be on there. They should've put it on the XBox...that would've been cool. They could've made it so you could take your soundtracks and sing those too. Why didn't they think of that? Probably because it's Konami and I'm pretty sure Konami just does PSX and PS2. Sadly.

Oh yeah, the songs:

Addicted
I'm Coming Out
All You Wanted
It's the End of the World as We Know It
Are You Happy Now?
Kiss Me
Believe
Ladies' Night
Billie Jean
Like a Virgin
Bizarre Love Triangle
One Week
Broken Wings
Red Red Wine
Celebration
Save Tonite
Chain of Fools
Science Genius Girl
Complicated
She Talks to Angels
Crawling in the Dark
Smooth Criminal
Don't Know Why
Son of a Preacher Man
Every Morning
The Power of Love
Everything You Want
Waiting for Tonight
Girls Just Want to Have Fun
When a Man Loves a Woman
Hey Jealousy
Wind Beneath My Wings
Hit Me With Your Best Shot
You Really Got Me
How You Remind Me
You're the One That I Want


Pretty okay, ne?

Is it sad that I want to play this game? I think so.

I haven't played DDR in a while maybe I'll do that today and try to get better at those 4 foot songs.

I love you all.

2 See through my crystal fearsXD | Are you crying?

Angel_Bob

:: 2003 8 November :: 12.33pm

Happy birthday, Ben!

Are you crying?

mudpiegrl

:: 2003 8 November :: 1.30am
:: Mood: sleepy
:: Music: Fiona Apple

"once my lover, now my friend"
hi! sandy, lisa, kyle, hul, nick, spencer, neil, benton, and wender all came over. yea...twas nuts and a half. i wanted to call patrice and jill (really guys am so not making it up) but it was nuts and loud and i wanted everyone to leave!

yea...um...thoughts thoughts....o yes...thats right. alright, i believe trix will know what am talking about, sandy wont and jill might...but after i have a boyfriend (and break up la de da de da), i tend to be friends with him again after two or so weeks...well, when you hang out with them, you realise what you liked in them, and that you still have ever so little liking for them. and you dont want to, especially if you are currently in a relationship, because its "disloyal" and "unfaithful" and da de da. but its soo hard....okie so this is a stupid entry; i spent time with hul today and ::sigh:: maybe its just because stacey stole him away for so long that i miss him a load, or maybe am just stupid. yea...i like the latter; it makes more sense......

jill and patrice...i know what am getting you for x-mas; jen, i'll find something, cuz youy know...it's hard....you like everything you see in a store! :-D sandy, maybe ill buy you a baby...that doesnt cry, BUT it could wet its pant lol! it wont be defective either! yasamin...i dont know...o yes i do! brilliant! hm....spencer.....thats hard...wow...ill..um.....ill buy you a gerbil! you lack the energy they have too much of! it'd all even out! nah...ooo i got one! wicked! wow...::sigh:: am tired. night

3 See through my crystal fearsXD | Are you crying?

Angel_Bob

:: 2003 7 November :: 10.35pm

Jesus turned and said to them, "Daughters of Jerusalem, do not weep for me; weep for yourselves and for your children. For the time will come when you will say, 'Blessed are the barren women, the wombs that never bore and the breasts that never nursed!' Then they will say to the mountains, 'Fall on us!' and to the hills, 'Cover us!' For if men do these things when the tree is green, what will happen when it is dry?"


Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."

1 See through my crystal fears | Are you crying?

Angel_Bob

:: 2003 7 November :: 9.32pm

Lemon by Katy Rose
This song was on Joan of Arcadia today...I like it but I can't find it anywhere. I'll keep looking.


They've clipped my wings again
tore them apart and then
left me
No use to fly away to
my yesterday
of freedom
My eyes died back that day
seeing the hurt I may have done
Beat my instead of them
pain is my only zen
of fun


I'll go where secrets are sold
where roses unfold
I'll sleep as time goes by

So hurting here is where I belong singing a sond
blood on my hands to stay strong
The flowers in the graveyard are all gone I don't belong
there is no right to heal the wronge
soup's on hot feelin' like a do or die
I can't throw up don't think I even want to try

You still can't make me cry
you've pinned this butterfly
down
My fire's burning out
kill my flame without
a frown
And starving hurts the soul
when you're hungry for
some love
So if I close my eyes
I can really fly
above


I'll go where secrets are sold
where roses unfold
I'll sleep as time goes by

So hurting here is where I belong dreaming a song
blood on my hands to stay strong
the flowers in the graveyard are all gone I don't belong
there is no right to heal the wronge
soup's on hot feelin' like a do or die
I can't throw up don't think I even want to
try

Are you crying?

Angel_Bob

:: 2003 7 November :: 9.03pm

Joan of Arcadia today was about coping with loss, death, dying, helping others and moving on.

It almost made me cry. Multiple times.

At the end, Joan asked God why life hurt so much. He said it only hurts when we're with others. She asked if that means we should just be alone. He said that can't happen and that being with others is in our nature. He threw it in the mix. Without others to help and be with, it's Hell.

Joan asked Him if He meant Hell like the Hell.

He didn't answer.

Maybe that's what it is...

That'd be my Hell.

I love you all.

Are you crying?

Angel_Bob

:: 2003 7 November :: 3.39pm

So, since Ben's birthday is tomorrow we're all gonna have a get together on Sunday, Sunday, Someday. He said show up whenever.

Today I learned another synonym for "sucks": inhales vigorously. Please tell me I'm not the only pervert...Does anyone else think that sounds just wrong?

I've had Switchfoot songs stuck in my head all day so I'm going to go blast some Switchfoot.

I love you all.

Are you crying?

mudpiegrl

:: 2003 6 November :: 10.05pm
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: neils voice...o geez...lol

i found that one girls journal guys! and i made a new one...cuz you know cleaning out ocmp...its only got my stories and dreams on it...not that interesting...but if you fail to have anything better to do....

Green Fairy

Are you crying?

Angel_Bob

:: 2003 6 November :: 9.28pm

There are many things I am willing to die for but nothing I will kill for.

2 See through my crystal fearsXD | Are you crying?

mudpiegrl

:: 2003 6 November :: 8.42pm

dad and other randomness
My dad and I were talking about instead of gym or dance or whatever choice you have instead of gym, maybe like an artish kinda thing…like instead of four different sports…four different aspects of the arts. And my dad said, “in this country, if you don’t play football, you’re nothing. Most of the time those guys get though college without any academic knowledge because half of it gets knocked out of them during the first few games of the season. We all know it doesn’t take a genius to be a bull in a china shop.” Just thought I’d tell you cuz I thought it was funny.

Hm…hmm…hmmm…what to type said the old man as his fingers gently tapped the ancient typewriter. Soon he began to stare out the window at a bird, floating near the glass. Its gray feathers shone as a result of the setting sun. the reflection hit the window, flashed through his glasses and into his eyes.

really bad poetry ::blushes::You never had anything I needed
I never missed you
Didn’t care
You weren’t in those dreams
That haunted me
Nothing reminded me of you
No thoughts or time
Were wasted on you
I don’t hate you
I just don’t know you

Did I tell you,
It was all a lie?


I feel so good. I felt like shit all last month and the beginning of this month. I helped Patrice and edy and myself all in one hour. Patrices self-esteem is low...she doesn't know how to be bold. edy is so sick of life. I explained to him how to keep going because he has to reach his goal. Let the string pull him fast then he can run. I think I learned something tonight. no I did learn something. I learned that no matter how much you fight, life is going to go the way it will and trying to change it wont help. You have to adjust yourself to better fit the society you live in. I learned that no matter what people tell you, you are worth what you believe you are, and what it comes down to is that you are what you want to be. If obstacles get in your way, you walk calmly around them instead of hurting yourself trying to break through them. I really learned from Melanie. To just be cool about things, never getting pissed off or upset, because that particular piece of life is irrelevant and will not affect how your future proceeds, unless you make it. If your self-esteem is lowered by a certain occurrence, then you have less of a chance of reaching your goal with substantial hope. I love life. wow...thats old...

how come we always live in the fast lane and such if we only gonna end up at a stop light? i thought about it.....cuz an ad for faster internet...if you speed on a highway......you end up at a stoplight right?
is like that in life too! cuz is like......why dont we slow down and look at the scenery so to speak......savour the flavour...like eating chocolate........you supposed to suck on them and let them last instead of gobble fifty down in a second...like my dad...any ways...cuz at the end were all going to have the same fate.....maybe given in another way......but ultimatly the same...cuz we all going to die.....like the light...only sometimes.....you catch the light b4 someone else...and.....you dont have much scenery to take in...


how come we always live in the fast lane and such if we only gonna end up at a stop light? i thought about it.....cuz an ad for faster internet...if you speed on a highway......you end up at a stoplight right?
is like that in life too! cuz is like......why dont we slow down and look at the scenery so to speak......savour the flavour...like eating chocolate........you supposed to suck on them and let them last instead of gobble fifty down in a second...like my dad...any ways...cuz at the end were all going to have the same fate.....maybe given in another way......but ultimatly the same...cuz we all going to die.....like the light...only sometimes.....you catch the light b4 someone else...and.....you dont have much scenery to take in...


you know how theres always that little button on your computer games or videos and stuff that says point-blank "HELP" and when you click on it, you look for what you want and they always seem to leave that thing you need...out? ya...is how it goes in life...maybe they just want our computer games and such to be super real life like... but is really no help to us. is kinda like your friends. or your parents... they say...come to me am always here for you.yea then you go and they have too many problems of thier own you feel guilty for telling them too many of yours, or is like you arent SUPPOSED to worry about them, so you dont. Like in the computer game, is not absolutly necessary to find that thing out, but you want to, becuase it would give the extra points needed to pass the level. and when something happen with the person who is "always there", and and you knwo what it is, but you dont wnat them to knw you know, is like that...cant get those points you really need to finish the level...to get slightly deeper inside. so you dont feel like they trust you and end up having a harder time trusting them, which in turn pulls you so far apart from each other is like you just met again. like you dont know enuf about tha comp game...and end up getting bored not being able to beat that same damn level youve played 50 times over...is so similar...

how can they say that these are the best years of our lives? what are they smoking? were all changing and our friends are confused and everyone feels lost and pressured and attempting suicide, trying drugs, testing sexual limits. easy? best? i think id rather pay bills then know my friends are so close to death. how i picture it...i can. i see her taking pills, i watch him draw blood with the blade, i saw her blood drip, i imagine how the knife shines, i invision the water overtaking her head, i look at the chain, and i know how far that needle went...i have one friend left who doesnt have the courage to attempt it...but the rest do. these cant be good years if everyone would much rather die...i am probably the happiest of all my friends...ive never even thought about suicide. i want my dreams to come true i want to see who i will marry, watch my kids grow up, fall in love, i wnat to know what life can be i dont want to die. i want to skydive and travel the world. but some people dont some people have so many other things to worry about there is no way they could possibly want to travel and seriously think they are going to. maybe what they say in health class is true...they just want the pain to end. because life is like that computer game...~*~you know how theres always that little button on your computer games or videos and stuff that says point-blank "HELP" and when you click on it, you look for what you want and they always seem to leave that thing you need...out? ya...is how it goes in life...maybe they just want our computer games and such to be super real life like... but is really no help to us. is kinda like your friends. or your parents... they say...come to me am always here for you.yea then you go and they have too many problems of thier own you feel guilty for telling them too many of yours, or is like you arent SUPPOSED to worry about them, so you dont. Like in the computer game, is not absolutly necessary to find that thing out, but you want to, becuase it would give the extra points needed to pass the level. and when something happen with the person who is "always there", and and you knwo what it is, but you dont wnat them to knw you know, is like that...cant get those points you really need to finish the level...to get slightly deeper inside. so you dont feel like they trust you and end up having a harder time trusting them, which in turn pulls you so far apart from each other is like you just met again. like you dont know enuf about tha comp game...and end up getting bored not being able to beat that same damn level youve played 50 times over...is so similar...~*~ yea like that...how come? why is help only there when you dont need it? lol i was a funny child...wait...

4 See through my crystal fearsXD | Are you crying?

mudpiegrl

:: 2003 6 November :: 8.40pm

la la la "neil"
hi! neil wrote me a poem/song after i asked him if he wrote his own songs....yea...well its not great but the effort is sweet!

I’m there lying on my bed
Thinking about you
Though you may not believe
Love you I do

My life has been complete
Since you’ve been a part
Every time I'm with you
I know you’re in my heart

I don’t want to be without you
Don’t even wanna try
When I think about it
It makes me wanna cry

I’ll be with you
No matter what you do
All I know is
I wanna be with you

8 See through my crystal fearsXD | Are you crying?

mudpiegrl

:: 2003 6 November :: 8.35pm

*Zoe Jane*
um...these are just lyrics to a really pretty staind song:

Well I want you to notice
To notice when I'm not around
I know that your eyes see straight through me
And speak to me without a sound

Chorus
And I want to hold you
Protect you from all of the things
I've already endured
And I want to show you
Show you all the things
That this life has in store for you
And I'll always love you
The way that a father should love his daughter
When I walked out this morning
I cried as I walked to the door
I cried about how long
I'd be away for
I cried about leaving you all alone

Chorus
Sweet Zoe Jane (x2)
So I wanted to say this
'Cause I wouldn't know where to begin
To explain to you what I have been through
To explain where your daddy has been

Chorus (altered)
So I want to hold you
Protect you from all of the things
I've already endured
And I want to show you
Show you all the things
That this life has in store for you
And I'll always love you
The way that a father should love his daughter

Sweet Zoe Jane (x2)

Are you crying?

mudpiegrl

:: 2003 6 November :: 8.32pm

{broomstick girl}
this is a poem i found on the beingirl website...its by this girl who recoved from anorexia...yea i like it.


She's a broomstick girl in a broomstick world,
Sweeping the minds of many.
Her dustpan ways will collect
The days of happiness-if any.
What a girl wouldn't give to choose to live
The model life she leads,
To give up the desires
That hunger inspires,
To have no essential needs.
Her mirror only reflects the many defects
That put her mind through hell.
When the toilet flushes,
All her blood rushes
But she will never tell.
She's a broomstick girl in a broomstick world,
Envied by all of her friends.
When she's finally pleased,
She will fall to her knees,
Accepting her life as it ends.

Are you crying?

mudpiegrl

:: 2003 6 November :: 8.30pm

la la la "issues"
~fyi: i dont understand some of these myself~

people have issues. yes i used the word issues. not only to describe the problems they face everyday, and thru the weeks and months and years of their lives, but to acknowledge the issues of magazines they could possibly publish with the problems they emit. people are like machines...other peoples thoughts, feelings, actions, and words are put in...and once mixed together, the things combobulate to create a problem. several of these are made, over working the brain and making one belive he has an awful life. but people have different reactions and feelings because they put things together differently. one may take a group of things and create a huge, unnecessary problem from it, while another may take out everything possibly positve, making the person happier. since when did people get so ignorant that you must put everything into odd relations to make them understand?

Are you crying?

mudpiegrl

:: 2003 6 November :: 8.29pm

la la la "confidence"
Where do people leave their confidence? It seems as if they care more about what other people think than they do about making themselves happy. If you died, the one who criticized you would live on, and making a change would never matter to them. If it was the other way around, and they died, what would you feel? You would not believe those things anymore if someone told you the opposite. Why does it take so much to make someone believe you when you tell him or her a positive thing about him or her, but only once when it is negative? Who decides what is wrong with us? Why are someone else’s problems important in your life? They do not affect you in anyway that is life threatening. Why does it matter? People today need more confidence. It isn’t something you can buy at a store, and not just one person can give it to you. It has to be given, like wind, in small gusts. And the sunlight shines through like love, warming the surface. And the light of the stars shows mercy in the dark sky. If we all had what the earth does, would we be happy?

1 See through my crystal fears | Are you crying?

mudpiegrl

:: 2003 6 November :: 8.28pm

la la la "fear"
It is far beyond me to feel the wind lash my face, to hear the voices of the past in the silence, to feel the fiery sensation of youth and joy once again. Oh, if I could see the clarity the Sun once gave me, and feel the spark the dewy grass once more. The freedom I desire is just beyond my reach.

I took a walk somewhere once, and upon my journey, I found a dog and a cat. The dog was a sharpei puppy and the cat an old Persian. They walked side by side, sometimes farther from each other, but all the time next to each other. The two walked and I followed closely behind. At one point, a frog emerged from the woods. The dog jumped and yelped in fright. He began to whimper and retreat from the path he was about to take. The cat pounced on the frog, not killing it, but upsetting it enough to return to the forest. They soon came to a stream. It’s common knowledge that cats do not like water. The dog continued to trot until the water’s edge. He stopped and lay down, allowing the cat to climb on his back. The cat braced herself for the unwanted trip. The dog swam faithfully across the river, tolerating the cat digging her claws into his head. Arriving on the other side of the river, the cat withdrew from the dog’s head by descending on the nicely made ramp by the dog’s sitting position. No words were spoken (in their language, of course), no nods exchanged, no acknowledgement of anything ever happening was illustrated. That night, I went home and wondered, why are people so insistent on payment that we must thank them for something they offered? What world do we live in that we must always fend for ourselves? We have fears, and our fears are not the same as others. We are helped by a friend, and expected to give them a word that means nothing. By saying “thank you”, you are doing nothing other then just speaking a phrase. It is returned with another phrase, also meaning nothing, used to acknowledge the supposed gratefulness and to tell the person that they didn’t mind. Yet, if the action was done, it was obviously not minded, and the words of gratefulness should be expressed in saving the person from their fear. By avoiding the frog with some help, you overcome obstacles you would never encounter had you not crossed the path of the frog. Once you see how to conquer the river, you may go on to demonstrate the same to another whose fear is the same as yours.

Are you crying?

mudpiegrl

:: 2003 6 November :: 8.26pm
:: Mood: busy
:: Music: perfect circle

the past is haunting me...
...actually, i just need to empty out shit on my comp! lol yea...so i found some stuff and i put it on a cd but ill put it here too so thats what the next some many entries will be you dont need to read them. :-D

Are you crying?

Angel_Bob

:: 2003 6 November :: 7.00pm


Which era in time are you?

3 See through my crystal fearsXD | Are you crying?

Angel_Bob

:: 2003 6 November :: 5.27pm
:: Mood: cheerful
:: Music: Angel Without Wings by Vertical Horizon

Benoit got me hooked on Vertical Horizon again just by mentioning them
Vertical Horizon - Angel Without Wings [Lyrics: Click + to display]+


A couple entries ago I put links to a song from Chobits and Sugar Rush by Joy Electric. If any of you all want them just right click em and choose save target as. You may wanna just open em first though to see if you like them. Oh but I've exceeded my bandwith so hold your horses for a little bit.

Ben's birthday is on Saturday.

Does anyone wanna go see Revolutions on Saturday? I'll pay.

Ben also said something about maybe having a get together on Sunday since there's that Embarass Yer Chillins thing on Saturday.

So, we'll see.

"But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
I don't want you back
You're just the best I ever had"

I love you all.

4 See through my crystal fearsXD | Are you crying?

Angel_Bob

:: 2003 5 November :: 11.13pm

Where can you run to escape from yourself?

7 See through my crystal fearsXD | Are you crying?

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