gilded smile

:: 2006 7 August :: 12.06pm

AHHHHHHH OH MY GAWDDDD

I LOVE MY APARTMENT

i love it!!! shannon and i went to see it this morning. it's all painted. i was so afraid that the colors would look bad and that i wouldn't like it but i seriously LOVE it!!! i love it.

the red walls in the living room the purple bedroom and green bathroom. yeah it sounds so scary but it is SOOOOO fricken cute. AHH i love it. i'm so excited. i wish i was moving today. it's so cute.

oh and we got a brand new refridgerator . it's stll in the packaging. brand new! and our air conditioner is right out of the box brand new with a remote. it's so neat. ahhh i'm just so excited i can hardly stand it.

wooo hoooooooooo . hanging out with dani and beans today, tomorrow have to finish painting the chairs with gramma that she's letting us use and then pack pack pack. wednesday i have my "Pamper and Indulge" Premier Salon apointment thing that i won and that after that i move in. so around 3 oclock in like two days.

hooray!!! so fricken excited am i.

spud	:: 2006 5 August :: 2.05am 10 hours - no lunch. 10 am start time tomorrow. chris is tired. and will be for the next 24 hours, at least. but once i get my paycheck, it will be all better. 2 hold on tightly \| let go lightly

3 hold on tightly | let go lightly

:: 2006 4 August :: 9.43pm

so stef and paul are getting married tomorrow.

tonight was the rehersal and i thought it went well and it should be relaly cool tomorrow.

OMG i can't wait to move in.... WEDNESDAY!!! YAY

i have to finish packing and everything. ahh it's hectic.

okay so thursday the 10th was gonna be my last day at the comstock menards and then i dont start at wyoming till monday BUT

this guy from Davenport called me today and he said that they had selected TWENTY out of the ONE HUNDRED FIFTY scholarship winners to come to a photo shoot and be featured in their 'best and brightest' section in the Admission Brochure. Or at least that is my understanding. Well, no, i am sure. IsNT THAT SO AWESOME so i'm gonna be in the little brochure about davenport that thousands of kids will recieve. how COOL!!!!!!! Also, I get a t-shirt or sweatshirt of my choice and a $25 or more gas card and lunch there. AHHH i'm so excited!!! it's on thursday

i was supposed to work a four hour shift and then go to the dentist but i called and cancelled the dentist appt. today and then i'm sure or at least semi sure i can get someone to cover the four hours on thurs. Otherwise seriously i just wont go to work and i'll just suffer a write up. or possibly a suspension cuz i dont know how many i have..... hmmm oh well!!

ahhh i can't wait

please leave me a note.

peace out

5 hold on tightly | let go lightly

:: 2006 4 August :: 11.30am

i was going to take a picture of my scruff before i shaved, but alas, i can't find my camera.

and i need to shave. so, it's going. bye bye. it only took two weeks, so i figure if i dedicated a solid month, it could be a full-fledged beard. however, i hopefully will never have to go a month without seeing shannon, and i will shave for her, so... there you have it.

libby just made me a mad lib. it was delicious.

3 hold on tightly | let go lightly

:: 2006 3 August :: 1.37am
:: Mood: tired

worknstuf

so, i worked ten hours tonight. which means several things:

- OVERTIME!!!
- didn't get to talk to shannon.
- got out at 1am (which is just depressing).

but OVERTIME!

i'm trying to milk it for all it's worth, since it's the only positive aspect of the situation, and i really need the money.

:: 2006 2 August :: 11.45pm

dear gunnie

i noticed.

spud	:: 2006 2 August :: 2.49am :: Mood: kinda ticked. fucking come home already!!! gosh. they're stupid, i'm telling you. 3 hold on tightly \| let go lightly

:: 2006 1 August :: 10.20pm

So i guess the plan has changed. my dad was gonna be gone for a long time and wouldn't be able to bring the trailor and my parents wont let him drive the car and sooooooooooooooo

I'M MOVING IN ON WEDNESDAY instead. so now it's like 8 more days.... annnnndddd i'll be staying there by myself for 2 nights ahhh

but i think jess is staying the night. so yay

wooooow i can't wait!! hooray

:: 2006 1 August :: 11.59am
:: Music: Incubus - A Crow Left of the Murder

sausage patties (not links)

this weekend was a lot of fun.

next weekend will be a lot of fun. i'm changing my oil saturday. it's been like 7,000 miles, so i figure it's time.

tomorrow i'm doing lunch with my cousin, before she goes to ireland. should be cool.

today i'm doing laundry, going to work, and lifting weights. because i'm cool like that.

i made a list. because i always make lists. it really helps to get all that shit out of your head, and onto something that is less likely to forget. and i can pull it out and add more later.

:: 2006 31 July :: 9.39pm

I FUCKING HATE LIVING HERE.

also it'd be nice if my 'friends' that i ask if we could hang out all the time would maybe return the favor once in a year or something.

:: 2006 31 July :: 9.06pm

ugggggggggggggggggggggggggh

....

let go lightly

holiday

:: 2006 31 July :: 4.59pm

So. I'm at my parents now cause it's 98 degrees and they have wonderful a/c. And we do not. :-) Last week I went to Labor & Delivery Triage cause Thursday I was running for the phone and the doorknob caught my belly and Friday I had a huge bruise. When I called they said we'd probably be there for 4 hours for monitoring. But it wasn't that long and everything is okay. Saturday I had to work (my last day! Hooooooray!) And Sunday was really nice :-) Today I had my 1-hour Glucola test where you drink the nasty sugar stuff (which didn't end up being all that bad) and then wait an hour in a noisy waiting room then they stab you in the arm and steal your blood. Okay, I may have been exaggerating a little. It's not really that bad. After drinking all that sugar the baby was going crazy in the waiting room and I couldn't stop laughing! He/she kept kicking my ribs and kicking sooooo hard I was moving around a little. After the test Charlie and I went to Panera :-D Yummy. Then I have to go back to the doc in a couple weeks. The date may be Oct. 28. That's what we're thinking. Anyway, our house is finally coming around we're getting stuff put away and everything. Yay! And it feels good to not have to work anymore.

:: 2006 30 July :: 10.31pm

remember to call wyoming about hours

let go lightly

jedibumblebee

:: 2006 30 July :: 6.05pm

7 hold on tightly | let go lightly

:: 2006 29 July :: 2.32am

well. another late night.

which would be fine, except i have to get up in the morning.

that could put a damper on things.

and i decided it's worth being a little late to the party, in order to go home and change my clothes and shower and stuff beforehand.

i'm so unprepared for life most days.

one week down. it don't take no guff.

:: 2006 28 July :: 11.32pm
:: Music: brand new girlfriend.

i got a brand new girlfriend, think i'm really onto something
Okay.

so i'm feeling a bit better about the money thing. it looks like (if i calculated correctly) i will end up with more money after move-in than expected. so i'm happy.
i never really had anything to worry about i was just spending more than i should i guess.

I got all but one books online with my mom the other day and to know that i only have to pay for half them and with that i'll use my burger king scholarship and to know that i'll be going to school for free should put my mind at ease. so i cannot complain.

i have fourteen days, that's two weeks, until Roman and I move into the apartment. this next week (hopefully tuesday) i will get to see it painted. and i'm so excited.

and the wedding this next weekend, i can't believe it's already here. it seems like stef and paul hardly have been engaged long at all and i still remember when stef was asking "do you think a winter wedding would be okay?" hahah

i babysitted starting at 7:45 today and then went to menards and worked till close. I was in SUCH A BAD MOOD on my way there. i vented so much to roman it was really bad. i did not want to be there at all. but besides this stupid ass crotechy old dumb ass man, it wasn't that bad. because i got to be on service and there weren't many returns. i'm gonna miss most of those people from menards. i'm transfering to the wyoming one so yeah. hopefully they are nice.

DON'T FORGET TO CALL ABOUT STARTING HOURS AT WYOMING

so that's it.
And with that, I conclude this entry with one question:

Do your chain hang low?!

peace out homies.

PS: stacy- if there's anyway you could fix my icon from being all distortedyyyyish... that'd be cool. but i dont know if you are even around or not lately or anything so it's fine either way. thanks homey.

let go lightly

jedibumblebee

:: 2006 28 July :: 11.45am

i had forgotten how fun this is...
Describe yourself using ONE BAND and only SONG TITLES from that band

Band :: Ben Folds
Are you male or female :: Zak and Sara
Describe yourself :: The Luckiest
How do some people feel about you :: You to Thank
How do you feel about yourself :: Not The Same
Describe your ex girlfriend/boyfriend :: Gone
Describe your current girlfriend/boyfriend (husband) :: Sentimental Guy
Describe where you want to be :: Rockin the Suberbs
Describe what you want to be :: Fired
Describe how you live :: Still Fighting It
Describe how you love :: Trusted
Share a few words of wisdom :: Give Judy My Notice

Band :: Barenaked Ladies
Are you male or female :: I'll Be That Girl
Describe yourself :: Alternative Girlfriend
How do some people feel about you :: Never is Enough
How do you feel about yourself :: Some Fantastic
Describe your ex girlfriend/boyfriend :: Long Way Back Home
Describe your current girlfriend/boyfriend (husband) :: Falling for the First Time, I Love You
Describe where you want to be :: The Old Apartment
Describe what you want to be :: Celebrity
Describe how you live :: Off the Hook
Describe how you love :: It's All Been Done
Share a few words of wisdom :: This Is Where It Ends

Band :: Cat Stevens
Are you male or female :: Kitty
Describe yourself :: (I Never Wanted To) Be A Star
How do some people feel about you :: The Tramp
How do you feel about yourself :: Oh Very Young
Describe your ex girlfriend/boyfriend :: I Love Them All
Describe your current girlfriend/boyfriend (husband) :: Here Comes My Baby
Describe where you want to be :: Home In The Sky, Miles From Nowhere
Describe what you want to be :: Here Comes My Wife
Describe how you live :: I Wish, I Wish
Describe how you love :: Wild World
Share a few words of wisdom :: If You Wanna Sing Out, Sing Out

holiday

:: 2006 27 July :: 2.39pm

Worked today. I am officially tired. But only 2 more days and I am on leave. Charlie said I could probably be off work until the baby went to preschool, but I'll probably want to go back at least part-time. I still have to finish school next year. And then 2 more years after that probably. But it's okay. Everything will get done in due time. I can feel where the baby is and how he/she is laying. Like I can feel where his/her back is. And you can see kicks really well now. Everyone keeps feeling my tummy. OH OH OH, we bought a crib last weekend and it came in so we're getting it on Saturday. It's awesome, it's antique walnut and it converts to a toddler bed then to an adult bed. We thought it'd be worth the 300 bones. So baby's nursery is almost done. Probably should have a baby shower soon. Another HUGE purchase we made this week: washer/dryer. After the whole situation with those (long story) we went to sears and picked out a couple Kenmore High Efficiency ones. They're coming today between 4:45-6:45 so that's awesome! They were way expensive ($1700) but they'll pay for themselves and using them won't hurt our energy/gas bills. So yeah, lots of purchases this week. This is a long entry really not about much.

3 hold on tightly | let go lightly

stinko

:: 2006 26 July :: 11.45pm

i am definately in one of those downward spirals as of right now.

the sadness is sweeping in like a cool breeze. it feels nice after trying not to feel. i don't know why i can't make myself leave it. it's almost as if i want to be here alone on the brink of tears. somewhere safe.

i know this place. i have spent many hours alone.

i can't make myself call people. it seems like so much work.

i just wish i could sleep, but it's too hot in my room. if i weren't too scared i would sleep outside. friday my parents leave town. i am happy. not because i want them to leave, but then i won't have to sleep alone. i just wish we could get a house. some days the longing is worse than others. today i fear it is worse. all i want is to fall asleep next to him and wake up the same way. no more sleepless nights, no more anxiety, no more loneliness.

isn't it odd that whenever you are sad and the music is on shuffle, the most depressing songs always play. it never fails.

this is what worries me the most. nothing went wrong today. nothing. there is absolutely no reason for me to be so worked up. i had servesafe class which means i basically got paid to do nothing, and i know i passed the stupid test for it. i didn't get lost. robby wasn't mad about me crying over the phone last night and being unfair, in fact he took me out for lunch. i went shopping with sarah and spent money that wasn't mine. nothing went wrong.
so what is the deal?

WTC???