gilded smile

gilded smile

:: 2010 10 August :: 10.08pm
:: Music: The Postal Service- The District Sleeps Tonight

I'm staring at the asphalt wondering/ What's buried underneath where I am...
Smeared black ink
Your palms are sweaty
And I'm barely listening
To last demands
I'm staring at the asphalt wondering
What's buried underneath where I am

I'll wear my badge
A vinyl sticker with big block letters
Adherent to my chest
That tells your new friends
I am a visitor here: I am not permanent
And the only thing keeping me dry is where I am

You seem so out of context
In this gaudy apartment complex
A stranger with your door key
Explaining that I am just visiting
And I am finally seeing
Why I was the one worth leaving

D.C. sleeps alone tonight

You seem so out of context
In this gaudy apartment complex
A stranger with your door key
Explaining that I am just visiting
And I finally seeing
Why I was the one worth leaving

The district sleeps alone tonight
After the bars turn out their lights
And send the autos swerving
Into the loneliest evening
And I am finally seeing
Why I was the one worth leaving

let go lightly

.j.e.s.s.

:: 2010 21 July :: 11.20pm

How long do u live your life "playing by the rules" and "doing things the right way" even if u hate it more than anyything before u actually go out and do what u really want to do and get the things out of life that are actually importnat to you? I don't want to play it safe anymore.I can't live like this-i need help but there is no where to get help- admitting failure .... I wish I could start over again and focus on what I was made for. I wish I could understand why I am like thuis and I wish I could know the right things to do. I just feel like there really are no solutions and I hate it

1 hold on tightly | let go lightly

spud

:: 2010 16 July :: 3.03pm

my life right now

A breadth-first search makes a lot of sense for dating in general, actually; it suggests dating a bunch of people casually before getting serious, rather than having a series of five-year relationships one after the other.

3 hold on tightly | let go lightly

spud

:: 2010 13 July :: 2.13pm
:: Mood: lonely
:: Music: BnL - Bank Job

life barrels on.

being single is not all it's cracked up to be. i know i'm pathetic, but it's just really nagging at me a lot lately. but at the same time, it's not good to be desperate. that would be a good way to rush into something ill-advised. i figure if i'm gonna be in a relationship, i would want it to be one worth having, and worth taking the time to do it properly. not that there's a rulebook on how those things work or anything, but i do know that it at least takes time and energy to cultivate something lasting. i feel like i'd probably prefer something with more longevity over something of a fling. even though the fling is less daunting, and could be lots of fun in the short haul.

but enough about that. i can't help but notice that a lot of my good friends keep moving away. which is fine, i'm very happy for them. but it makes me want to get the fuck outta here in a quick hurry. not that i'ma run off to japan or anything, but i really want to do something, ANYTHING to break up the monotony.

get a fucking job, you hippie.

which reminds me, i do have work tomorrow and thursday. hopefully that'll mean some gas in the truck, and maybe some grocery money for chuckles.

the drum lessons have been fun thus far, but i'm not sure how well i'm doing as an instructor, and they're definitely not breaking the bank. eh, whatevs. at least it's something.

oh, other exciting update! i was at becca's saturday night (well, sunday morning) and thrashed my foot pretty good on an angle bracket. considering how deep it is, it doesn't hurt too badly, and i've been fairly diligent about keeping it cleaned out and putting antibiotic ointment on it, but it's still not healing up any too quickly. it's a pain in the ass because it's right on my heel. i have this irrepressible tendency to walk on it. maybe i'll take pictures and post them up for funzies. evidence that i'm a dumbass and a klutz.

1 hold on tightly | let go lightly

jedibumblebee

:: 2010 10 July :: 7.53pm
:: Music: Ben Folds Five- Fair

I send my best, cause God knows, you've seen my worst...
you know when you don't listen to an album for a really long time and then you listen to it again and it's like... whoa.

i bought ben folds five- whatever and ever amen, on cd... i already have it, but it's on..umm... cassette tape.... so i haven't listened to it in a while.

<3

3 hold on tightly | let go lightly

jedibumblebee

:: 2010 8 July :: 9.29pm
:: Music: Ben Folds- Kalamazoo

Don't you know that I've been there too?
Ran out of time
Running my mouth
Ran up a tab and
All the way from Kalamazoo
On my way back home
I was surely stoned
Now I'm sober in my yard

Can't believe I was there
Can't believe I've been anywhere else

There was a time
Almost forgot
We had been drifting
All the way to Kalamazoo
And I said that I loved you too
All the way back home

There's an old joke
I just made up
How many of me
Would it take to screw up your life?
One to settle down
One to turn you 'round
Now I'm sober in my yard

I would say you had to be there
And I regret that you're still there

Seems like you'd be frozen
Frozen there in time
Waving your goodbye
High up to the sky

Your place on the map
Has faded away
Looks to be lost in
More that one way, Kalamazoo
Don't you know that I've been there too?
And it puts your mind more at ease
If you'd say the words of release
All the way back home

let go lightly

jedibumblebee

:: 2010 7 July :: 9.29pm

i think i might have a driniking problem.........

3 hold on tightly | let go lightly

jedibumblebee

:: 2010 6 July :: 8.00pm
:: Mood: nostalgic
:: Music: Jimmy Eat World- Always Be

How are you gonna know the feeling/ until you lost it?/ I've been losing plenty since...
Could've been a night like any other
One of us has to drive
One of us gets to think
I'll force a laugh to break the silence
It's gonna get harder still
Before it's easy
You can't keep safe
what wants to break

I'm alone in this
I'm a "as-I've-always-been"
Right behind what's happening
She's a "lost-in-this"
She's a light
She'll always be
a little far for me to reach

I was just a boy like every other
I thought I was something fierce
I thought i was ten times smarter
Love would be something that I just know
How are you gonna know the feeling
Until you lost it
I've been losing plenty since

Maybe something else I'm missing
Something good and you're the reason
It's a dream but there's a real world waitng

let go lightly

spud

:: 2010 21 June :: 5.19pm

the entire time i have a woman, i'm bitching about her. (okay not really, but sometimes)

the minute i'm alone, i want one.

oh, the paradox that is me.

i suppose i'd have to stop hanging out with old people all the time to actually meet someone my age. but where's the fun in that?

4 hold on tightly | let go lightly

jedibumblebee

:: 2010 11 June :: 9.12pm

I'M DRUNK and this is exciting.
the movie of my life.... paul played by jason segal... me played by amy adams.............. AWESOME.

9 hold on tightly | let go lightly

spud

:: 2010 18 May :: 11.24am

wtf, mate

been feeling really weird and detached the past couple of days. not sure why. been more sober than usual (though still not completely) so maybe that's part of it. also, my dear seester is gonna be sixteen in a couple days. makes me feel fucking old.

also also, still no job. sucks ducks, man. need a job. handyman scheduled me for like 2 hours on friday this week. awesome. there's 10 dollars that i'll see in two weeks. fucking bullshit.

just not feeling very enthused about much of anything in general. would like to be excited about something - anything - soon, very soon.

4 hold on tightly | let go lightly

.j.e.s.s.

:: 2010 11 May :: 10.05pm

i need glasses. gr. i just cant afford them. its bugging me.

1 hold on tightly | let go lightly

spud	:: 2010 27 April :: 5.19pm i need to go do something. that way, i'll have something to write about when i come back. because, even if i embellish it, my day to day life is pretty bland most of the time. 4 hold on tightly \| let go lightly

spud	:: 2010 24 April :: 1.31pm :: Mood: mellow o rly? i did a thing! new journal stylez for the elite blogging community that is woohu. look at all the pretty colors. 4 hold on tightly \| let go lightly

.j.e.s.s.

:: 2010 15 April :: 9.56pm

I wish I could vent and write about all my problems
like I used on woohu-but I've changed a lot since like age 15 when I first started using this and the difference is I actually care about keeping my personal life private. Sucks when you need an outlet though.

Su

let go lightly

.j.e.s.s.

:: 2010 13 April :: 8.19pm

does anyone know if i am on my computer and it just starts randomly doing stuff like my mouse moves on its own and/or my internet page i'm on goes "back" to another page or windows move around ..random stuff like that..

is it because i have a virus or something and if so what can i do?

2 hold on tightly | let go lightly

tuwang

:: 2010 13 April :: 12.18am

http://www.google.com/support/forum/p/Web+Search/thread?tid=26939a1769a335e0&hl=en

Really? when you search free porn on google you get... porn?

2 hold on tightly | let go lightly

spud

:: 2010 7 April :: 1.55am
:: Mood: drunk
:: Music: 311 - Evolver

:: The Insanity

This weekend was interesting. Between an all-night film shoot sound recording and easter with the fam, many an adventure were had.

and suddenly handyman has an interest in my unique skills again. which invariably means carting tools around for bruce all day tomorrow on virtually no sleep, and then cleaning out some gutters in the rain on thursday. hot damn.

had some nice talks with chuck tonight about theoretical physics as relating to music instruction, and hippie philosophy pertaining to government. Verdict: M-Theory and Anarchy, respectively.

and i made friends this weekend. i had a good time, and i think the shoot went well. it was an interesting set to be on, for any one of multiple reasons. regardless of why, i'm glad that i took the opportunity to contribute and take part in the experience. definitely worthwhile, despite the hardships it presented.

i need to quit smoking and start lifting again. and riding my bike more. optimism regarding anything resembling a "beach bod" is scarce, but at the very least, i know i would feel better about life in general if i made the extra effort to take care of myself at least a little. which, unfortunately, includes sleeping. this weekend was fun, but i'd like to feel a little more human again, and be on something closer to a normal sleep schedule. well, here goes nothing... 'night y'all.

3 hold on tightly | let go lightly

spud

:: 2010 1 April :: 2.05pm
:: Mood: foolish
:: Music: beyonce - single ladies

unixkcd
for self reference: Read more..

guest@xkcd:/$ cat welcome.txt
Welcome to the unixkcd console.
To navigate the comics, enter "next", "prev", "first", "last", "display", or "random".
Use "ls" and "cat" to navigate the filesystem.
guest@xkcd:/$ ls
* welcome.txt
* license.txt
* blag/
* blog/
* fora/
* forums/
* store/
* about/
guest@xkcd:/$ cat
You're a kitty!

2 hold on tightly | let go lightly

spud

:: 2010 30 March :: 2.47am

once upon a time, i used to be fit.

it's hard to really nail down and pinpoint an exact moment, but i'm fully confident it happened. at least once. i often wonder if it will ever happen again.

i think it was sometime in college when i didn't just eat whenever i got hungry. i ate when people gave me food.

let go lightly