yeah, i know, it's been awhile. i'm sorry. i'm a slacker.
since my last update i've...
been to europe.
left my girlfriend.
moved.
been unemployed.
fucked around.
gotten some stuff done.
fucked around some more.
there. now that we're all caught up, i can move on to more pressing things.
okay. i really don't have anything pressing. i've been in a funny mood lately. and that seems to pervade everything. so, there's no sense of urgency.
but i dunno. something has to change. i mean, a lot of STUFF has already changed since last we met. but i'm talking about something within myself that needs to change. because i can't continue on this path and remain successful.
which is exactly why i don't want to go back to steelcase. because i could, but it would just be more of the same old bullshit. and i want something new, something different, something that takes me somewhere else. i'm moving on damn it, even if the rest of the world won't let me.
another part of moving on involves not smoking. which is really really hard. it's hard because i don't want to. if i wanted to, it wouldn't be nearly as difficult. but i don't want to. i like smoking. i like the way it tastes and smells and feels. but we're a dying breed.
*pause for irony*
got that laugh out of your system? good. me neither.
but yeah. i really have to cut it out. out of my lifestyle. out of my budget. i need to make more room in it for beer money.
party at emily's tonight. bound to be a great time. i'm looking forward to it.
bruce wanted some help installing a door tomorrow morning. should make the job go faster, and i might get some cash out of the deal. that'd be nice.
after that is owen's graduation party. and hunter wanted to hang out in the evening. but the hockey game is on at rich's. so i'm gonna have to figure out what i'm doing with that scheduling conflict.
and rich invited me to go down to indianapolis with him to see nada surf. it's in like a week and a half. i hope i'm working by then, but i'll have to ask for that night off or something. i dunno. we'll see what happens.
and i think bonnaroo is the weekend after that. so i've got two concerts in the span of like a week. and they're both overnighters. damn man. i'm never going to get anything done.
speaking of which, time to get off my ass and do something. this has been a truly leg-numbing experience.
Was it you who spoke the words that things would happen but not to me
Oh things are gonna happen naturally
Oh taking your advice I'm looking on the bright side
And balancing the whole thing
But often times those words get tangled up in lines
And the bright lights turn to night
Until the dawn it brings
Another day to sing about the magic that was you and me
Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others just read of
Others only read of the love, the love that I love.
See I'm all about them words
Over numbers, unencumbered numbered words
Hundreds of pages, pages, pages forwards
More words then I had ever heard and I feel so alive
You and I, you and I
Not so little you and I anymore
And with this silence brings a moral story
More importantly evolving is the glory of a boy
Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others just dream of
And if you could see me now
Well I'm almost finally out of
I'm finally out of
Finally deedeedeedee
Well I'm almost finally, finally
Well I'm free, oh, I'm free
And it's okay if you have go away
Oh just remember the telephone works both ways
And if I never ever hear them ring
If nothing else I'll think the bells inside
Have finally found you someone else and that's okay
Cause I'll remember everything you sang
Cause you and I both loved what you and I spoke of
and others just read of and if you could see now
well I'm almost finally out of.
I'm finally out of, finally, deedeeededede
well I'm almost finally, finally, finally out of words <3
Don't wish it away
Don't look at it like it's forever
Between you and me I could honestly say
That things can only get better
And while I'm away
Dust out the demons inside
And it won't be long before you and me run
To the place in our hearts where we hide
And I guess that's why they call it the blues
Time on my hands could be time spent with you
Laughing like children, living like lovers
Rolling like thunder under the covers
And I guess that's why they call it the blues
Just stare into space
Picture my face in your hands
Live for each second without hesitation
And never forget I'm your man
Wait on me girl
Cry in the night if it helps
But more than ever I simply love you
More than I love life itself
and i need to figure out so much and i just want to sublease our apartment and have money and be rich and not worry about stupid shit anymoreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee fuck. i hate the stupid tanning place midnite sun and cruise can go fuck itself they are seriously the worst company ever they dont care about their employees, customers, or even have any morals. all they care about is money so don't tan there anyone ever okay??? seriously, don't. you arej ust fueling their stupid money hungry owners and managers. fuck i hate my job.
This Sublease Agreement (the "Sublease") is made and effective [Date], by and between [Sublessor] ("Sublessor"), and [Subtenant] ("Subtenant", whether one or more).
Sublessor is the tenant in a lease agreement dated [Master Lease Date] with [Landlord's Name] for a term ending [Lease Term End Date] (the "Master Lease"). A copy of the Master Lease is attached hereto and incorporated herein by this reference. The property leased to Sublessor in the Master Lease is referred to as the "Leased Property".
Sublessor now desires to sublease the Leased Property to Subtenant, and Subtenant desires to acquire the sublease.
NOW, THEREFORE, for value received by each of the parties hereto, the receipt and sufficiency of which are hereby respectively acknowledged, and in consideration of the mutual agreements of the parties, it is agreed:
1. Sublease.
A. Sublessor agrees to sublease the Leased Property as follows:
Sublease Term: [Term of Lease]
Monthly Sublease Rent: [Monthly Rent Paid by Subtenant]
B. Subtenant shall pay the rent to Sublessor not later than the [Rent Due Date] day of each month. Rent payments shall be made to the address for Sublessor below or such other address that Sublessor may identify to Subtenant from time to time. Subtenant shall also pay to Sublessor any other amount or charge that Sublessor is obligated to pay under the Master Lease that arises or is attributable to Subtenant's occupancy such as, but not limited to, charges for garbage, water, sewer, utilities, common area expenses, maintenance and refuse removal. Such charges shall be paid within ten days of Sublessor's statement. Subtenant shall be responsible for procuring and paying for any utilities or services not provided by landlord pursuant to the Master Lease.
C. In the event there is more than one Subtenant party, then the obligations of each such Subtenant shall be joint and several.
[Use of Furniture]
2. Obligations Under Master Lease.
Subtenant agrees to comply with the terms of the Master Lease and shall not do or permit to be done anything that would constitute a breach or default of Sublessor's obligations in the Master Lease. Sublessor agrees to comply with all of Sublessor's obligations in the Master Lease. Sublessor agrees timely to pay rent and other charges due under the Master Lease and, provided Subtenant is not in breach or default of any obligation in this Sublease, shall not do anything to disturb Subtenant's use of the Leased Property pursuant to this Sublease.
3. Indemnification.
A. Subtenant will indemnify, protect, defend and hold Sublessor harmless from and against any and all loss, cost, damage and expense arising out of or in any way related to a breach or default of Sublessor's obligations in the Master Lease by Subtenant.
B. Sublessor will indemnify, protect, defend and hold Subtenant harmless from and against any and all loss, cost, damage and expense arising out of or in any way related to a breach or default of the Master Lease by Sublessor.
3. No Assignment or Sublease.
Subtenant shall not, without the prior written consent of both Sublessor and the landlord in the Master Lease, assign this Sublease or sublet the Leased Property or any part thereof.
4. Notices.
Any notice given in connection with this Agreement, shall be in writing and shall be given to the appropriate party by personal delivery or by certified mail, postage prepaid, or recognized overnight delivery service as follows:
If to Sublessor:
[Sublessor]
[Sublessor Address]
If to Subtenant:
[Subtenant]
[Subtenant Address]
5. Headings.
Headings used in this Agreement are provided for convenience only and shall not be used to construe meaning or intent.
IN WITNESS WHEREOF, the parties hereto have caused this Sublease to be duly executed as of the date first above written.
[Signatures]
Landlord's Consent
The undersigned, the landlord in the Master Lease, hereby acknowledges consent to the foregoing Sublease Agreement.
is anyone looking for an apartment to stay in june through sep 15??????? ............
we are trying to get rid of ours... we are moving out to save money which is going to be really great but yeah we aare just trying to save so we can get married so if anyone is interested at all let me know and we can talk details.
::
2008 16 April :: 6.46pm
:: Mood: tired, hungry, etc.
:: Music: my professor
job hunting
::
i hate looking for jobs. i mean, i get excited about all of the opportunities. but i also get really depressed about how i feel like i'm not good at anything. and all the things i am good at, aren't interested in having me.
whether it's true or not, even partially, doesn't really matter. it still feels crappy.
then again, maybe i just need to eat.
and i feel guilty for not listening to the lecture today. but it's just review. so there.
::
2008 14 April :: 11.59pm
:: Mood: better
:: Music: radiohead - no surprises
::
i feel much better after today. i'm still kind of pissed about some stuff. and the wings lost. but at least, for whatever reason, i managed to evade the same sort of funkiness that's been haunting my shadows for the past week or two.
and there's nothing but good on the horizon. so, shut the fuck up, brain!
::
2008 14 April :: 8.59pm
:: Music: Modest Mouse- Missed the Boat
i gave it another shot. While we're on the subject
Could we change the subject now?
I was knocking on your ears
Don't worry, you were always out Looking towards the future
We were begging for the past
Well, we know we had the good things
But those never seemed to last
Oh, please just last
Everyone's unhappy
Everyone's ashamed Well we all just got caught looking
At somebody else's page
Well, nothing ever went
Quite exactly as we planned
Our ideas held no water
But we used them like a dam
Oh, and we carried it all so well
As if we got a new position
Oh, and I laugh all the way to hell
Saying, "Yes, this is a fine promotion"
Oh, and I laugh all the way to hell
Of course everyone goes crazy
Over such and such and such
We made ourselves a pillar
But we just used it as a crutch We were certainly uncertain
At least I'm pretty sure I am
Well, we didn't need the water
But we just built that good goddamn
Oh, and I know this of myself
I'd assume as much for other people
Oh, and I know this of myself
We've listened more to life's end gong
Than the sound of life's sweet bells
Was it ever worth it?
Was there all that much to gain?
Well, we knew we'd missed the boat
And we'd already missed the plane
We didn't read the invite
We just danced at our own wake
All our favorites were playing
So we could shake, shake, shake, shake, shake
Tiny curtains open and we heard the tiny clap of little hands
A tiny man would tell a little joke and get a tiny laugh from all the folks
Sitting, drifting around in bubbles and thinking it was us that carried them
When we finally got it figured out that we had truly missed the boat
Oh, and we carried it all so well
As if we got a new position
Oh, and we owned all the tools ourselves
But not the skills to make a shelf with
Oh, what useless tools ourselves
I forgot to post this a few days ago...
Start: April 4, 2008
End: January 1, 2011
The Mission: Complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days.
The Criteria: Tasks must be specific (ie. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of work on my part).
Why 1001 Days? Many people have created lists in the past - frequently simple goals such as New Year's resolutions. The key to beating procrastination is to set a deadline that is realistic. 1001 Days (about 2.75 years) is a better period of time than a year, because it allows you several seasons to complete the tasks, which is better for organizing and timing some tasks such as overseas trips or outdoor activities.
::
2008 7 April :: 5.17am
:: Music: 311 - don't tread on me
i like how at some point it transitions in conceptualization from a very late night, to a very early morning. and yet, the task of nabbing down precisely where that transition occurs is nigh-on impossible.
my guess is that it's right around the time when the birds start chirping.
and an early morning tomorrow. i'll be ready to crash once i get done at the scientists meeting tomorrow night. but that'll be fun, at least. the events leading up to it, not so much.
although, filming went reasonably well today. and i got some free food out of the deal. and i met a guy who wants to record me on drums. and i got to play drums at that party last night, which also had some free food and was a lot of fun. and i got to play drums and hear dad's new band on friday, and have some free food after that as well. so, the themes for this weekend were : party, free food, and drums.
not too bad. except that i got nothing accomplished and slept way too late this morning. but it all worked out, i guess.
i just wonder where the fuck i went so wrong. when it all looked so promising. and then there are those other times when i wonder how in the hell it worked out so perfectly, when i thought it would be shit. and either way, i was fucking wrong, and didn't get a chance to appreciate it, because i was so busy being wrong.
and then i failed college. or at least pissed a bunch of people off for being stupid. and pissed myself off even more.
i've been ridiculously angry all day today, and i don't understand it. i really need to blow off some steam.