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2007 6 October :: 7.21pm
okay so red flannel is like scary and loud and ugly
and i dont know if i can go to one ever again. it had good parts and i liked the band competition but i couldn't wait to leave. i know, bad right but i duno
whatev
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spud
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2007 6 October :: 2.30pm
:: Mood: weird
:: Music: sad kermit
everything happens for a reason, right? at least, some would like to think so - myself being one of them.
that being said, i'm still trying to divine the full significance of gunnie's bonfire, thursday night's conversation with heather, drunksitting tonight (as opposed to being with katie and lindsay), and the fact that i found a frog in my laundry this morning.
this is all adding up to something monumentally mediocre. i can feel it. i just hope it's me.
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2007 2 October :: 10.46am
Okay so I work on Wednesday and then I don't work again until Sunday.
I have to tell you guys something...
I'm so excited for Friday and Saturday. AHHH i'm such a loser. I've never been way excited for RED FLANNEL DAY lol except when I was in a band-it was a pretty big deal because of the performance and parade. but still.
I am like counting down the day until the Friday game and excited for RFD and the nothingness. I dont know.
I miss...
home?
and guess what!
I HAVE AN INTERVIEW AT THE PLACE I WANT SO BADLY TO WORK AT YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
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2007 2 October :: 12.26am
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: toad the wet sprocket - dulcinea
happy october everyone
so i saw benzer and robbie this weekend. that was crazy. and i got to hang out with kevin a little bit, which was also nice.
turns out i might be headed up to c-town this weekend. is it red flannel? or is that next weekend? i think it's this weekend. which would be freakin' insane. i don't know why i can't quite escape the place. and why i don't quite want to. there's nothing in that town, but i can't quite give it up. and then i remember all the people. or i'm painfully reminded. either way, i find myself there intermittently.
which has interesting ramifications for the post-graduate plan of attack.
anyway, happy october everyone.
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tare
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2007 30 September :: 10.47pm
:: Music: silence
I could spend all day trying to figure out why things are taking the course they are, but why? At the end of the day it isn't up to me. Things are the way they are because that's how they're supposed to be. Life isn't going to be easy every step of the way... I need to realize that.
I am going to face hard times and extremely difficult obstacles. There are going to be times when I feel as if nothing is going right and my heart is going to hurt. I need to embrace life for what it is, and what I have... instead of cursing it because it isn't what I want. I'm 19 years old, how do I even know what I want?
I don't, that's the thing. I don't know where I want my life to be tomorrow, or next week, or next year. I just don't know. What I do know is that I love him and I want him in my life. I need to realize that just because I want it, doesn't mean it's what is best for me and God will let me know if he is or not. Sooner or later God will let me know where I'm going and what I'm doing. I need to have faith in that, I need to let him show me the way instead of thinking I can do it by myself, because I can't.
3 hold on tightly |
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2007 29 September :: 7.55pm
:: Music: fever
well, if i never make it as a nurse at least i know i'll be a good housewife.
i make the best damn chocolate chip cookies ever.
i have the potential of being an excellant housewife.
sad.
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2007 28 September :: 1.54pm
i feel so sick to my stomach because i dont want to go to work. i would do anything seriously to not go. i want so bad to just not even go in but i know thats wrong and stupid. but i've only worked there for like a month so it's not like they'd be a good reference anyway ughghghgh i should just not go in but i dunno
any advice?
i need a new fucking job.
i'm gonna call midnite sun and cruise right now and try to fucking get hired so i have an excuse not to go in!
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2007 27 September :: 10.27am
ahh i love tr night. why does he have to be gay?
yay greys anatomy tonight i am so fricken excited.
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2007 26 September :: 5.53pm
gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
i need a new job.
please
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2007 25 September :: 8.20pm
college sucks
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2007 23 September :: 9.57am
some of my money is missing.
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2007 17 September :: 12.50am
gunnie if you are online please get on aim
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2007 17 September :: 12.05am
finally finished dying my hair. thanks to roman of course.
it looks kinda dumb but i dont care. i like the change. and since i am not cutting my hair because iwant it to be long at least this is a little change.
i love grey's anatomy omg. i love it so much. if i had a dying wish i think it would be to be a charatcter on greys anatomy. yeah fer realllllllllll.
shit.
i should replace meredith. because she is annoying and i loveh er but hate her at the same tie.
time
dont mind my typos. i just dont care and omg i can't breathe i feel like my throat is bleeding from all those chemicals and standing in the bathroom with all those chemicals for so long gahhhhhh can't breathe.
yesss! i love endoplasmic reticulum and ribosomes. gosh.
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2007 11 September :: 5.58pm
hes a handsome black man.
adn i just opened my book and it is confirmed.
i will fail this class.
grand.
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2007 11 September :: 5.53pm
great. my teacher is a really old, unapproachable man.
YES, he walked in to the wrong class and started writing his name on the board and a lady came in and said 'i thought you were in 301?"
"this is 301, isn't it?"
no its not hahaha- i still have a chance to get a better looking, younger, more approachable professor in this class. i'll keep you pposted as i'm sure you all care so much.
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2007 11 September :: 5.47pm
this is what you get because my statistics class is in a computer lab.
why is my math class in a fricken computer lab?
god am i typing really loud or is it just me?
i put my bags in the seat next to me because i dont want anyone to sit by me.
god i'm a bitch.
why are there so many old people that go to davenport. shit i hope thats my teacher because he's pretty hot. he's wearing a tie. oh, nope he sat down. anyway- old people? i hate having so many old people in my class because then no one talks out of turn and it's nothing like high school. everyone acts like they are so much smarter than they really are. i hate it. gosh that guy is cute. well - for a man . man. man man........................
shit i need to go drink and get the hell out of this clas. why am i in this class. i suck at math. i'm probably going to fail it. i did awful in my other math class. shit shit shit. why i am in this class. 3 hours of math. it's gonna kick my ass.
i haven't even opened the packaging on my book. maybe i should do that.
god i need some friends at this school.
but you remember i put my bags in the seat next to me so no one sits by me, right?
i'm a fricken moron.
lets get this show on the road before i write another pointless update.
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2007 11 September :: 5.44pm
the sky is pretty right now.
i'm going to have so many regrets when i die.
i'm never going to have that feeling again because i dont have enough time to.
i'm living my life grey's anatomy style. stop feeling sorry for yourself!
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2007 9 September :: 5.21pm
so fucking stupid.
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2007 8 September :: 3.23pm
i feel weird.
something weird happened and i'm afraid to fall asleep.
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2007 5 September :: 7.53pm
we moved into our new apartment and it is so cute and wonderful and big and spacious and great and i love roman and we are so happy .
and my new job is really good i am so much less stressed. i can tell my body is thankful that i got a new job. my face is totally clear and i dont feel pissed off all the time. that job was no good for me. too stressful.
i love life right now except for school. school sucks but oh well. love
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