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2004 12 November :: 12.36 am
:: Music: welcome to my life
the way to pass is to sleep in class
Algebra 2 - B
Life management skills - B
English 2 - B
Television Pro. - A
Biology 1 - A
Eurhythmics 1 - A
World history honors - B
December 6.....the world as i know it ENDS.... greeeeaaaatttt
- would you rather be paralyzed or blind??-
----- i would rather just die..... but you dont always get what you want....thats just the way it is-------
*michelle
<3 erik <3
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2004 8 November :: 7.09 pm
:: Mood: aggravated
ahh i love this shit!
Tests From last Monday came back Positive... I have to go see ANOTHER specialist.
A
N
Y
W
A
Y
S
Eric wants to meet my MOM...scary hahah w/e.. i met his family... HUGE!!! lol
doin good besides the whole doctor thing lol w/e
<3michelle
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2004 1 November :: 8.56 pm
:: Mood: aggravated
fuckin doctors
I went to the doctors today... first i went to the blood doctor...finaly got to meet the REAL doctor and not the afganistan assistances...the took my blood and for the first time my platelets came back normal so that was good... but then she starts askin me about some test and im like what are you talkin about ... aparently when i was in the hospital not all the tests came back negative.... some shit came back positive so they were suposed to do follow up tests and never told me about it.... so they took more blood and i get the results back by thursday prob.
then went to the allergist.... im already takin 5 pills a day and now he added another kind! hes like ohh this pill is safe balh blah blah,, im reading the shit for it
Most common side effects are:
1. stomach pain ( yeah i already get that all the time thanks ass hole i did need it worse)
2.heartburn
3.tierdness ( fuckin ass hole did i not tell him that the 3 sleeping pills a day are hard enough to stay awake with!)
4.fever
5. stuffy nose ( fuckin ass i just had a stuffy nose for 2 weeks!)
6.cough (ive had a cough for over 2 weeks now dont need it worse!)
7. flu
8. dizziness ( yeah great the other medicines already do that to me)
9. headache( yeah the other shit does that to)
10. rash... (hummmm arnt i trying to get rid of a heat rash!)
ok so thats real safe huhh that 10 major side effects but thats not all thats listed for the most common....
so theres also 22 less common side effects ...
so heres a few of the less common side effects:
1.aggressive behavior ( first ine on the fuckin list... and its gunna make me crazy gggreeaaaatttt)
2.hives ( hummm.. again arnt i treating that with all this medicine...makes lots of fuckin sense huhh?)
3.bad/vivid dreams..( yeah fuck face i already got that .. i dont need it worse)
4.increased bleeding and bruising( witch means lower platelets... witch means so fuckin much for gettin it normal for once)
5. ( heres my favorite one... if you thought the aggressive behavior would make me seem crazy ahahahaha)....hllucinations ( haha im already doing things out of no where and not remember doing it at all mine as well have me see things)
6. irritability( got that hahah.... im gunna have PMS 24/7 )
7. joint pain,muscle aches( got that already 24/7)
8. pins and needles/numbness ( already get that more often then normal )
9.restlessness ( gggreeaaaatttt)
10. seizures
11. trouble sleeping (yeah already got that .. even with the 3 sleeping pills i have trouble sleeping.... its called a sleeping disorder! )
yeah so i swear the asshole is tryin to kill me! sayin this shit is mostly safe! it causes all the things its suposed to cure if you read allll the side effects! hahah so this is gunna be fun!
but anyways! i had a great weekend .. friday after the game i chilled w/ erik at the beach and a few people... then sat homecoming and chilled w/ erik again... the sun. went trick or treating drunk and then FINALLLYYY CHILLED W/ HEATHER!!!!!
but ummm yeah im really starting to like erik and he already told me he likes me so yeah.... something good might actully happen for michelle!
well all the pills are starting to kick in so im gunna go to sleep!
*-michelle-*
*crushin*
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2004 30 October :: 11.40 am
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEE
ill call you later when i have my cell phone
<3 you
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2004 18 October :: 8.48 pm
I NEED A BOY! GRRRRRR
*-i HATE HEr more and MORE!-*
*michelle
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2004 15 October :: 10.40 pm
:: Mood: drained
:: Music: eminem
crazy ass day
im not gunna go into details cuz it would be a long ass entry and i dont want to type
so Aaron took me to school today, watched movies in lots of the classes, 5th hour had a sub, had soooo much fun ( why are the hot guys always GAY!!!! omg that shit was soooo crazy!) lunch was so much fun in the line.. i knew sooooo many people in that line lol and theshit we were talkin bout(u had to be there) so we had our first homegame today... we lost 55-0 ... we preformed and i did "ok" i messed up like 5 times it was so gay ! i was so pissed. britt is still on the football team, b4 the game i was dressed as a boy w/ the hat and everything it was so fuckin funny the shit i was doin today... but yeah im about to pass the fuck out im so tierd! im gettin my dress tomorrow! woohoooo! lol im a loser
<3 michelle
-crushin-
*I still HATE her
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2004 11 October :: 6.03 pm
:: Mood: aggravated
this song fits me PERFECT
Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don’t belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming
No you don’t know what it’s like
When nothing feels alright
You don’t know what it’s like to be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you’re down
To feel like you’ve been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
When no one’s there to save you
No you don’t know what it’s like
Welcome to my life
Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With the big fake smiles and stupid lies
But deep inside you’re bleeding
No you don’t know what it’s like
When nothing feels alright
You don’t know what it’s like to be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you’re down
To feel like you’ve been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
When no one’s there to save you
No you don’t know what it’s like
Welcome to my life
No one ever lies straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I’m happy
But I’m not gonna be ok
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work it was always there
You don’t know what it’s like
What it’s like
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you’re down
To feel like you’ve been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
When no one’s there to save you
No you don’t know what it’s like
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you’re down
To feel like you’ve been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
When no one’s there to save you
No you don’t know what it’s like
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Hold on |
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2004 10 October :: 4.15 pm
:: Mood: frustrated
:: Music: if i aint got you
weekend
Friday
I was in such a bad mood all day i just wanted to go home, i was tierd of seeing britt and his girl together all the time all week... after school went to kaitlyns house and she cleaned her room,then we got mickey D's and went back to the school by 5....we played boca. it was there homecoming game... i finally was having fun cuz i was being a dumbass like i am... our uniforms are so gay ..the pants button all the way up on the sides and i thought there were pockets so i put my hands in where the pockets should be and i was touching my legs so i thoght it was funny and walked up to guys in band i didnt know and was like can you do something for me, putu your hand in my pocket .. so they would do it and it was just funny the faces they made when they felt my leg.. i did it to about 4 people.. and then i walk up to a group of the guys and introduce my self to them all and we were havin fun and im like ok You were my next victum put your hand in my pocket ... and one of the girls in gard come up to me and was like "michelle your such a hoe" ( and she was joking) but then after this dumb ass kid did it i went up to more boys an introduced my self to them the girl that called me a hoe was like come here come here so im like w/e and she draged me over to a bunch of people and one of them is eric ( the kid ive had a crush on since 6th grade) and shes like let him see whats in your pocket and i was like no and they kept tryin to get me to do it and im like no ..eric do you even wanna see whats in my pocket and hes like idc and the girl screams so fuckin loud at me " DO YOU EVEN HAVE SHORTS ON UNDER NEITH... SHELL LET YOU SEE CUZ SHES A FUCKIN HOE" and i flipped out i was yellin at her and i pushed her a few times cuz she was tryin to be all "im sorry i was kidding" and the caption took me away from her before i stuk her.. i was sooo fuckin pissed!! so for the rest of the game when we were in the stands and dancin and shit i was like ohhh wait i cant do that they might think im a hoe and shit grrr i was pissed.....we lost the game 55-0....
slept at kaitlyns house with cher...
--insiders--
*me with the whole "Idiots"
* Screamin at the things that go off everytime they make a touch down "SHUT UP...Fuckin idiot" lol( in my lil voice i was doin)
*mine and kaitlyns dance lol
*"put your hand in my pocket"
*me:WAZZZZ UPPPPPPPP ( makin the face and everything!)
*"haha i made a funny"
*dressing kaitlyns lil bro and lil bro's friends up ass girls ! omg that was the best!!!!
* me with wanting to meet the lil kids older brother! lol
Saturday
went to the movies...saw shark tales... lol it was soooo fuckin funny i love that movie!
then wes and randy picked me up at like 9 30 and we went to nikkies and chilled ,then went got beer, got heather kt poso ryan and victor...took heather and kt to heathers house and we went to nikkies... had alot of fun... then one of eds friends call me and omg he is so fuckin funny ,i just wanna meet him cuz he sounds like he would be cool to chill with..we talked for sooo long but while me wes and randy were leving daniel and robert pull up so i saw them for like 4 seconds lol ... awww randy looked sooooo cute passed out in his truck lol... when we got to wes place i was like randy wake up and hes like no i dnt wanna im like you gatta drive home hes like mannnnn... it was sooo fuckin cute lol. me and wes were gunna go in the hot tub but i didnt want to get went so we didnt.... wes asked me out last night .... he pissed me off so i was like w.e im goin to sleep good night and hes like will you go out with me and im like GOOD NIGHT! i felt so bad.....
today
slept till like 1 30 and then his mom took me home... layed out by the pool for about an hour till a damn bee fucked with me... today in my day .. im just relaxin and do shit for my self..
*-michelle-*
-- I fuckin HATE her
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2004 7 October :: 10.29 pm
:: Mood: contemplative
:: Music: walked out of heaven
i had a really good day today...
it was weird... i scared my self so bad in the morning that i was sick to my stomach.....
Today i actully felt like i had a family.... dont ask i know i have a family but i never felt apart of my family really till today for that brief few minutes.. it felt good...
my mouth has been numb all fuckin day from the dentist and it just wore off and it hurts so fuckin bad i cant talk
so i saw britt w/ his girlfriend like 374838 times today and i just look at them and it makes me feel like shit.. its like one of the worst feelings... its so gay ... i look at her and i think why cant that ever be me, i never get the guy i want... ive never liked a guy like i like britt and he had to go get a g/f... i mean i was better when he was atleast just a friend and shit but now hes always w/ his g/f and its like he cant talk to me cuz his girl will think shit... life sucks! lol
but umm yeah thats one of my "good" days.
--game tomorrow--- so gay lol
*-michelle-*
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2004 7 October :: 6.43 am
:: Music: welcome to my life
No you don’t know what it’s like
When nothing feels alright
You don’t know what it’s like to be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you’re down
To feel like you’ve been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
When no one’s there to save you
No you don’t know what it’s like
Welcome to my life
Hold on |
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2004 5 October :: 8.34 pm
:: Mood: cheerful
:: Music: clubbin'
wow what a fuckin day
so all i did was sleep in all my classes. britt hasnt sat with us at lunch this week and yesterday i saw him with this girl so i was like damn i bet they go out or are going to, well today after lunch i was walkin to class and i saw him and i was like damnn britt looks good today and neil was like "you know hes got a girlfriend now" and i fuckin start yellin "i knew it ! i knew it! mother fucker ! i knew it!"
so yeah then i find out another one of my friends got a girl... so this sucks... i cant hvae britt!the one guy i really want! i should of known!
anywayzzzzzz practice sucked balls, but i just fucked around and made it fun cuz i really dont care no more...
so when i get home me and kari get in a fight, and shes flippin out and shit and im actully controlin my self, she calls my mom and starts sayin her dumb lies and normaly i would flip and get on the phone and bitch and im like you know what fuck it moms not gunna go for her bull shit... *go me! im learning*lol....
so i go to katies cuz she needed a TaMpOn... chilled for a lil and stole her cat lol its so fuckin cute... when i got home amy and my mom were home and i ate dinner w/ them and we were talkin bout kari and i was sayin bout what she tryed to do today and my moms like i know and amys like "i was talkin to kari bout the thing" and my moms like what thing and im like the car ( cuz my mom was sayin suttin bout givin kari her old car when she gets a new one) and there both like WHAT CAR! WHAT DID KARI TELL YOU.. im like wtf the dodge and so amys like " i was sayin how she(not kari) deserves it not her blah blah blah" and i thought amys talkin bout my mom deserves a new car and kari doesnt ... so then they start askin mne bout what car.. and im like wtf if your not talkin bout the car what are you talkin bout and there like the car but in a fake way so i get mad and im like this is why i dont talk to you guys and my mom starts talkin to me and im like dont talk to me and my moms like i was gunna buy you a car and have it in the drive way for when you get home because you deserve it but now that your not talkin to me i guess not!
WHAT I HOPE SHE GETS ME THE CAR! IDK WHAT KIND OR ANYTHING BUT I WANT A CAR AND I DONT KNOW WHEN SHE WAS GUNNA DO IT! BUT FINALLY THEY SEE IT MY WAY!
lol ok im done.. i wrote enough boring shit for you guys to read
<3 michelle <3
<3 i wanna b/f!! <3
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2004 2 October :: 1.31 am
:: Mood: drunk
:: Music: locked up
fuckin drama
holly fuckin shit so much fuckin drama if this shit goes down ima cry lol... wtf im to drunk for this shit!
Fuckin Drama
--michelle--
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2004 25 September :: 9.52 am
hurricane Jeanne
This hurricane can lick my clit! grrrr !! kari might be goin to the hospital , everyone in the house is sick and barfing everywhere and i think im gettin what they have.... troy is shitting all over the house....
I wish i had my beer.i didnt drink it last night and so theres a 12pack at wesses but w/e i dont really care..
welli gtg help around the house
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2004 24 September :: 10.08 pm
i wish people would just listen to me sometimes!
me and my mom got in a big ass fight when i asked to sleep over heathers...so i calm her down and got it so i could go out and i was gunna go see heather... the wess doesnt get home till 10 and i got in a big ass fight w/ my mom again and she was tryin to kick me out of the house so i was like w/e i dont care anymore kick me out and wess said i could sleep at his house so im like im sleeping at wess's house and me and my mom fought alot and shit it was really bad i never fought w/ her so much cuz she was sayin i cant go out one second and the next shes tellin me to get the fuck out. so i call heather and ask if she wants me to stop by.. she asks me when i have to be home... i say tomorrow.. she gets mad cuz i wanted to sleep there and my mom said no so she gets mad and tells me im fucked up and i dont get to say anything and she hangs up... then calls me back on my cell and tells me not to talk to her im fucked up and shell talk to me when she wants....plus somethin else but i dont wanna say cuz it put me in tears
ISNT MY LIFE GREAT ALL IN ONE DAY I LOOSE EVERYTHING THAT MEANS THE MOST TO ME!
IM SO FUCKIN DUMB I GUESS WHEN I THINK IM FINALLY DOING SOMETHING RIGHT I FIND OUT WHAT IM DOING IS ALL WRONG! ALL I WANNA DO IS HAVE A RELXING NIGHT I GUESS CUZ WHAT THE FUN IN PARTYING WHEN EVERYONE IS MAD AT YOU....
--Michelle--
-- why live when you got nothing to live for
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2004 24 September :: 8.50 pm
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: On the way down
Jon
aww i talked to my Jon today. Hes so fuckin cool. i love him. He knows just how to put a smile on my face. Me and him lost touch after high school started and then he moved. He always IM's me out of nowhere and its always when im feeling like shit and im at my worst and he always makes me feel better. its so weird its like he knows im at my worst and he IM's me. ... i <3 him lol
-- Michelle --
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