[(Hold Me For All Time)]

[(Hold Me For All Time)]

:: 2004 6 December :: 7.49pm
:: Mood: enthralled
:: Music: (cant get my head) around you - the offspring

soo xciited!!

okay.. well things have been a little.. cRaZy lately, if u know u know, if u dont know -- u dont want to lol. aanywho.. so im so f-ing excited about this weekend..

anywho, so friday night im going to my fathers and sleeping ther. then on saturday he's going to bring me to shirley so i can see jimmy and the boys. i have no idea what we're going to be doing when we get there, whether it be wallyball, a movie, cards etc.. all i know is im ready for fun -- and i KNOW ill have fun no matter what i do.

i hate boys, i love em but i hate em, and i hate the situations i get put into, even if i accidently put myself there. homelife sucks... a looot. i wanna really either move out or seriously go to an orphanage because im going crazy. im not aloud in my bathroom, i have to share one with two boys now. things are getting rediculous. im so sick of my life, i want a new one.. theres so much bullshit going down that i just dont want to handle anymore

but imma go, im talkin to lou and gonna try to get in touch w/ jimmy and alex.

siegel - lol jim

xoxo

2 Held on | Hold on

heartsbroken

:: 2004 6 December :: 1.45pm

omg this weekend was craazzyyyy...
fridaynight- went to some kids house is the medows.. had a huge party cops showed up twice nothin happend... got wasted! spent the night at heathers house..... sooo many people showed up mike dean and rj and joe were there. matt weeks was there, and damn he looked soooo good !

saturday- went to the rec then josh nesbitt picked up me heather and brittany and we went to this place that was by the railroad tracks and i got soooo fucked up and eric showed up with vincent.. i had 1 1/2 bars and then like sooo much beer i dont remember the cops showin up at alll and i guess erik made shure i wasnt stumbling every where so we went to josh's house and i passed out in eriks car and wow i was sooooo wasted and we had to wait for heathers shirt before we went home so we didnt get home till 2:30 some how me heather and brittany fit on my lil ass bed.

friday- erik wakes me up at like 8 and he comes over and my mom made us all sit on the couch and talk to her about the night before so i was like fffuuuucccckkkk but i didnt get in any trouble and my mom thought it was funny and she tryed to say my curfew is now 11 hahahaha shes funny .. brittany got picked up and went to DD yummm yumm lol brittany was in there.... then erik went and gt vinny and came back to my house and i got in the shower and we droped heather off at KT's and went to the beach and then went to the pool and then to vinnys and me and erik passed out in vinnys bed for like 2 hours then went home and passed the fuck out and my mom couldnt wake me up so i didnt go to school today cuz my mom couldnt get me awake and in like an hour i have to go to the docs! scared shitless .. then have to go to the school for practice till 9 so its gunna be so gay.....

i dont remember half of saturday night i was told what happend and then yesterday seems like a dream and my dreams last night seemed soooo fuckin real!

- michelle-
<3 Erik <3

Hold on

innocence

:: 2004 1 December :: 9.08pm
:: Music: staind - pressure

sdlkjgsahg

well.. i have talked to jim quite a lot about .. well the truth and i guess we've come to an agreement.. at least an understanding.

god, saturday was so incredible, i never wanted it to end, apparantly neither did he. but we cant be together, its too risky and its too big of an age gap. we both want the same things to happen and we both like each other, we'll just wait two years. haha yea riight. he told me if i was two years older than me he'd be with me in a heartbeat.. well we both want the same shit, so we decideed we'll have more days like saturday and we both see the shit we want happening.. so i guess it all works out okay.

im trying to make a plan for next saturday to get out there, i know my aunt and uncle are upset with me cuz when i went to visit i spent most of the time w/ the kids instead of them, but oome on.. one of them i like and the rest of tthem are my age and cool to hang out with. so im trying to get out there again next weekend. i have a big plan but i wont reveal it to later. mwahaha lol

other news? my volleyball team sucks, i wish they could actually hit the ball this way we can get a game going. lol at this rate they're gonna drag me down and ill never get on the school team. guys i dont want .. want me.. guys i want .. are too old lol. its FREEEZSING. and schools taking over my life lol. guuys im tryin to get to the big fl for xmas break or a 3day weekend i have during mlk day!

goodness why must i like him so much?? cant he just get ugly or annoying or something lol. well i gotta go, talkin to madd ppl. mucho love <33*

1 Held on | Hold on

innocence

:: 2004 28 November :: 11.16pm

... well then ...

Hold on

innocence

:: 2004 28 November :: 10.29pm
:: Music: k i s s meeeeeeeee - mariah carey

holy christ!!

holy christ! lol. this weekend was unbelievable i had butterflies 3 days .. scratch that, 4 days in a row. heres what went down.. -~-~>

friiday -- okie dokie, me paul and aunt lee go to the isle [ long island] .. we get there around 3'ish. nobodys home so i start my homework, we dilly dally, finally aunt dee gets home. next thing i know, my aunt patties calling, so i answer it. i get invited to go to the movies. so me rob paul n jimmy go to the movies, we get in to see national treasure, which in fact, is a damn good movie. so, its this order in seats from left to right .. jim me rob paul, so me n jim share the drink he bought, im leainin towards him, hes leaning towards me..nothing happend, just a smidge of innocent flirting. after the movies i get dropped off back at aunt dees, then the kids come back over and we played texas holdem, i gave r o b a massage, and then we all passed the fuuck out.

saturday - omg what an incredible day i swear to you. ok so i get up at 10 something to a text message by jimmy, we talk for a bit, then he invited me to the mall. so he picekd me up, we went to the mall, bought a few things, got in massage cfhairs -- those shits are ill as fuck -- then we went to tgif and we had lunch -- he paid for me. then we went back to my aunts house, played cards, then we had to leave quick cuz we were going to the movies, again, he paid for my ticket, but i snuck in the money to buy the drink. SCCCOORE lol. it was so cute, he was gonna get pepsi, thn saw they had cherry pepsi, he asked me if i lieked it so we coould share it i was like awwwwwwww lol.. the movie we flirted, leaned towards one another.. holy christ i wanted to make my move haha. then we picked up the goonies, went to aunt pats, then he brought me back to aunt dees and dropped me off, he woulnt leave until i was in the door.. awz then he came back over w/ the goons, and we played cards, he got an incredible back massage, so did i , i know he looved it lol. he loveed it, the moans comin out of is mouth lmfao.. then i started massaging his neck and arms, oh baby .. yeaa lol yes, mucho flirting, i was leaing on him n just WO lol. he smells soo good lol. i can say soo muich more about this night, but i gotta go in like 2 min

then sunday, aka today i played pool and txted jim all day long. idk i wanna confront him about me liking him czu if he dont know hes kina retarded ... but i dont wana be rejected, omg id be soo happy if he liked me back.. theres just a few little bumps in the road lol right lovie.. well i gotta go b4 my aunt rips me another asshole...

hellpp .. omg i hope he likes me ...... lol to confront him or not to confront him!!!?

When I see him, I got nothing to say -- cause the damn urge to kiss him takes my breath away...

xoxo
cruushin'
i could wake up to that face everyday.. plus, we're both good massuses hehe.

1 Held on | Hold on

strawberrie

:: 2004 28 November :: 10.05pm

The REc..

The Rec.
Girels
Hott boys
beer
partys
fights
fun
and cops!

yeah def. almost got arrested tonight for "tresspassing vandelism nd other shit" w/e fuck it where just gunna have like 20/30 kids at my house know people were cuffed n placed in cars but let go n 2 people (no names) are being looked for but for now i gtg school in the morning i never get a dull night.

Hold on

strawberrie

:: 2004 26 November :: 6.26pm
:: Mood: energetic
:: Music: eminem! --Encore--

Whats been up.

Ladies and gentelmen pimps n players half ass rappers n true ryme sayer...

whats happenin'? nm latly just been chillin' down at the Lake Charleston Rec. it's tight lot of people i know n shit...me n katie got into a fight tho it was not good..w.e its over now...

My Turkey Day was pimp i went to my Aunts in Lake Charleston and ate yummy yummy food n then chilled with her neighbors there hott went home n then went to the rec..

chilled there n then went to nikkis with Izzy n Rj tight tight night...

Today woke up at 7 n left at like 9 to go to the beach n was there all day with nikki rob rj n git wow that was awhole lot of fun shit now im sittin' here waitin' to go to the rec. but joes on the fone soo peace...crackers...

[]D[][]V[][]D[][]\[] a[][]\[]t e a s y!

<3Heather!!*

3 Held on | Hold on

strawberrie

:: 2004 26 November :: 8.24am

Going to the beach w/

Rj

Nikki

Rob

-n- Git

ill update about it when i get home...inless im frozen solid hehe its very cold outside.

1-love <3*Heather

Hold on

innocence

:: 2004 22 November :: 9.35pm
:: Mood: disappointed
:: Music: get low remix

suck it suck it suck it lick it lick it lick it -- lolol strawberry

okay.. well my weekend was pretty freaking awesome -- if only just a few more things went my way..

i shall start off with friday, friday went to school. exciting right? i wore my skirt outfit and two guys named mohammed yes two guys names mohammed hit on me.. reaallly weeeird! lol. anyway, so i met up w/ lovie at bayside, and then we went to my house. we hung out with paulie for a while and then john took us to a movie. we saw after the sunset. movie was good, john fell asleep so lovie and i shot spitballs at him -- SOO FUNNY. then on the car ride to the pool place we shot them all over the car, he didnt see one, amazing that guy. pool was fun, then i came home talked to my babby <3carly then*jimmy* and then laur and i went to bed in my room.

satuurday -- omg the most nerveracking day everr lol .. woke up at 825 so laur could go to her dentist thing and then when she left i passed out til about 1130. woke up, watched laguna beach, lovie came back over, we just hung out, then i packed and got ready for loong isslaand woot woot. it was a while til we were leaving, so me laur and paul all laid in his bed and played w/ our cell phones lol. soo bored, rearranging our contacts into groups -- what nerds we are!! then me john and aunt lee left to go to the island.. we arrive there and go to my aunt dee's house, they're all talking about politics.. then aunt lee and john go out to have a cig and me and aunt dee talk.. shes like .. you know, jimmy broke up with his girlfriend lol. and i was like oh i know.. haha. so anyway, i finally get in touch with jim and rob so i get dropped off over there and we played texas hold em the whole night and we were up til like 1 sumthin playing, i did good for my first time, partially b/c of the r o b . after that everybody passed out cept for me and *jimmy* so he played halo and i watched him, then when he was done we started to wach freddy vs jason, but we both passed out b4 it was over. soo we fell asleep on the floor.. omgggg i wanted him soo bad lol. i was gonna make a move.. but i didnt!! wonder what he thinks ..

sunday ... woke up with him by my side, oh i could go for that again lol. its a great feeling. hehe. my gram cooked us pancakes.. we had a uhm, interesting conversation during breakfast and a few flirty looks [ i think ] and then after that the boys played halo, and my r o b went to the hospital, he makes me so nervous. so after that rob came home and we all hung out. played smash, had lunch, more looks. .. played more cards, kinda flirted with gijoe .. played a good game then got picked up to go home :-( saddest part of the weekend forrreaaal.

but i solemly swear -- jimmy has the nicest eyes i think ive ever seen. theyre soo blue, but not ugly blue, beautiful cleary blue.. wher it looks like an ocean i swear.. its amazing the feeling i get when i look in his eyes. and his voice.. aahh so hot lmfaoo. i swear, id be so happy waking up to that face. hes soo awesome, i havent found a flaw yet, cept that we live in diff cities, but im moving to his town next yr, so it all works out i guess. but i really hope i dont get disappointed.... blecghh

pros
SOO HOT
nice voice
loove his eyes
awesome personality
has a car
friend of the family
sweet
FUNNNNNY
etc..

cons
JUST broke up w/ his grl.. only wants to play for now
21 yrs old
lives an hr away
not sure how he feels about me

god, i want this to work soo bad, his last two grls fuckd him over completely, and im not like that. i wouldnt use him, fuck w/ his head, cheat on him, make him spend all his time w/me, be up his ass. i would be soo good for him and he would be soo awesome for me.. wish me luck guys, i need it and i reallly think this would be good for me..

i really wanna tell him how i feel, but i think its too risky.. ahh hellpp. im going all gaga..

but im out, or else ill keep rambling x0

<333 cruushin hardcore

7 Held on | Hold on

strawberrie

:: 2004 22 November :: 6.38pm
:: Mood: bitchy
:: Music: im so fly

jgorwhjowrhjkhjy
I hate guys.
I hate assholes.
I hate lyin' bitches.
I hate bein' annoied.
I hate backstabbers.
I hate when people joke around completlyyyyyy wrong.
I hate how i keep gettin' hurt.
I hate alot of fuckin' things.

8 Held on | Hold on

heartsbroken

:: 2004 20 November :: 12.31am
:: Music: emenems new CD

went to some party.. shit was tight.. 2 girls were fighting and dammnnnn the skinny one got the shit beat out of her... and then when they stoped fighting they both get up next o each other and are fixin there hair and shit lol .. there wasss madddd people there.....

lil mad i couldnt stop by heathers... erics car was being soooo gay again ! he needs to get a new car!

... school was so fuckin gay! i was sooo pissed alll day ! got kicked out of 4th hour ... fuckin sub... it was so funny he was so dumb and he got all pissed and was like im gunna call down a dean and were like you just want us to leave and hes like no no ill call some one down and starts lookin for the button to call the office and he couldnt find it and were like ummm do you want us to show ya where it is and we call for him he was gettin so pissed... then in 5th hour my teacher was being soo gay tryin to say my shorts were to short and im like miss you want me to strip my pants off right here so you can measure the in-seam and shes like yeah i got a ruler right here im like uhhh you want me to take them off right here in class.. i mean i will if you want and shes like no spread your legs and she measures it and it was "to short" and im like if you were smart you would know you cant measure an in-seam while im weraring the fuckin pants so she got pissed and was sayin shiot to methe whole class but she wouldnt kick me out.... learned some crazy ass shit in color guard... i cant do that shit iof my life depended on it ...schools so gay! .. just 2 1/2 more years! then i get to pay to go to school.. haha

-michelle-
<3erik

Hold on

innocence

:: 2004 18 November :: 9.20pm

well.. lets see, whats been going on, im not even going to try to fill everybody in on whats been going on

*woot woot* good news -- crush just broke up w/ his girll. yaaayyy! omgg im soo giddy right now lol im madd excited, its really nothin tho.. but still hehehe.

annywho, i guess i wont complain this entry.. hm.. ive been feeling really tired lately tho, really overwhelmed with stuff, especially school.. which reminds me, i wanna go out for the volleyball team -- but who knows.

omg im shaking, i cant type right now, ill finish later. xoxoxo i miss uuuu mommy.. i love u soo much

CARLY I LOVE UU..
LAUREN - WERE SO GIDDY RIGHT NOW HAHA

2 Held on | Hold on

strawberrie

:: 2004 17 November :: 4.41pm
:: Mood: gettin' better
:: Music: katie talkin'

just got off the fone with Jordan

Just got off the phone with Jordan.

He sounds alright...me him n Katie had a talk with him.

He's coming back to school...after thanksgiving!!

He sounded so hott.

But im out--Peace
Heather.

Hold on

strawberrie

:: 2004 16 November :: 6.29pm
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music: aol noises

...i have a piece of his car..and his blood was on my fingers..i don't know what to do..

Welp. School today.
-Shittie,mind was deff. not on it.
-Heard way to many stories n it still didn't hit me.

After school
-Joe picked up me n Nikki
-Morgan came over
-We went to Scotty's accident
-It was horrible sooo much blood it got on my fingers and it was all the way up the poll.
-They have marking's of like how it happened like it's a t.v show
-I couldnt believe it was my friend.
-I took a piece of his car it's crazy how much shit was their u could tell what was Scottys n what was the dodges.
-I'll never get rid of that piece of his car.

The guy in the dodge had a son..and he's gunna be alright..

stories dont add up it seems their should be another guy i think in the dodge but some people say in Scotty's car i say bullshit,but i wanna know who if their is a who.

Time to dip

-Heather Lauren
Always missin' u Scotty! <3

5 Held on | Hold on

innocence

:: 2004 15 November :: 9.48pm

RIP Scotty Harris ...

Im so sorry, my prayers are with you and your family, maybe you and my mom can take care of each other..

This is getting way outta hand, i dont think i can handle one more disappointment.. im going insane, i cant do this anymore...

i need a better solution

mom i miss you so much, im running out of tears!

9 Held on | Hold on