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2002 28 December :: 12.25 am
Wow. Ani DiFranco. She is the only artist that has spoke about practically everything i agree with. Gosh. She's awesome!!!
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2002 28 December :: 12.07 am
Gosh. Ani Difranco is so cool. Wow. She is AWESOME.
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2002 27 December :: 11.54 pm
:: Mood: sad
this is terrible.
i. can't. believe. it.
i hope it's not true.
i...hope. oh gosh.
i can't believe it.
:-(
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2002 27 December :: 11.22 pm
I don't believe in New Year's resolutions.
If you need to change something it means you aren't happy with the way you are.
And if you wait till New Year's to make things better. Well, that's just a waste of time, why change now? There is nothing i want to change. Except trying to help people realize materialistic things are not important anymore. Do you remember everyone freaking out about the millenium and how terrible everything would be? Well, everyone spent so much money, for nothing. Now, what if everything had shut down and everyone died? How many people do you think would've died happy? Or would they be clutching their wallets and most prized possessions?
These things never last. Things wear out. Things grow old and things are thrown away and lost. Spending money on a T.V. to watch the outdoor channel, wouldn't you rather be sitting outside in the sun and having the wind blow?
Stop spending so much time thinking of where your life is going and play things by ear. Some of the best things done were done with no intention of happening.
Stop worrying about looking like the air-brushed models in magazines and keeping up with the "in-trends". Wouldn't it be more fun to show up somewhere wearing something totally unexpected than showing up wearing what everyone had already owned and was "in" for only a short while before becoming "old and dumb" once again?
Why spend that money on that when you can spend it on something you enjoy.
Do you want to die happy?
Do something fun in your life, even if it's only once and you were scared to death. I'm not saying do something that would kill you, just, something that brings you to a state where you realize that you could live life by the minute any time you wanted. So what if you took the day off and now you lost your job. lol. There are other job oppurtunities and other people to meet. So what if you ate that last piece of cake? Stop worrying about the little things in life. Just be safe about it.
haha. It sounds dumb and corny but it's true. If everyone would just stop being so damn corporated and materialized and just took the time to think, "so what?". So what if there are people around, they don't know you. Maybe they do, who cares. Just don't be so restricted and stop caring about little things in life.
I bet i've repeated myself so much in here.
gosh.
Well. haha. I've been contemplative. and goofy.
have a good night everyone. :-)
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2002 27 December :: 11.08 pm
Much to do about nothing.
all my thoughts. GONE. grrrrr. I had this huge long essay thing on here and other crap and you know what? it's gone, and that pisses me off. I made myself realize so much. Gosh. I'm so mad. There's nothing to do about it now though.
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2002 26 December :: 8.07 pm
:: Music: Bad Religion-Biggest Killer in American History...
I just found this! yah!!!
cool. i forgot i had this.
Well. I forgot when i last updated. Christmas went pretty good. Dan's girlfriend Karly came. She's cool. She reminds me of a much quieter version of Donna off of That 70's Show.
Grandma seemed to like her. The stuff my family talks about...gosh. hahaha. I hope we didn't scare her away...:-P
Today I pretty much stayed home and slept and slept and slept. Dad went to the doctor and then came home early today. So we all got to be home together.
I get to order my sheets today. hahaha. it sounds dumb but i'm excited to get my room done. and i can't even paint till it gets warmer. gr.
Well. Have a good night everyone. later :-)
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2002 24 December :: 10.44 pm
what kitchen utensil are YOU?You are a washing machine! You are out there. In fact, you are so out there that you are not even in the kitchen! You are a firm believer that clealiness is next to godliness, and you are loads of fun to be around.
hahahahaha. clean-y.
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2002 24 December :: 9.56 pm
:: Music: Seether
someone controls what you watch...
Wow. today was very...interesting.
I mostly just kept playing piano all day and then around 3 we left to go to my aunt's house this year. She just got re-married so now things are a little different, still cool though. There are more kids. And we didn't know which traditional way to do everything. Things were different. A little stressful. But hey, I got some awesome stuff for my room. My aunt and uncle and cousin made me this awesome chest that matches perfectly. Then my grandma and great-grandma got me these awesome lights and a huge black and white rug. and some red stuff. and a magnetic mirror wall clock, it's awesome. my room is going to be mod. black white and red. my favorite colors.
it was nice to see the fam today. I hadn't seen them in forever...
Oh gosh.
We got home later tonight and hung out here. We were all watching some movie and all of a sudden the phone rings. mom freaks out, grabs the car keys, and leaves, saying nothing...
dad later runs in and tells me my great-grandma had one of those bad nose bleeds again and it was terrible and her blood-pressure was terribly high again. a while ago we found out her kidneys were quitting. I'm so worried. It's hard to smile. I just think of how great everything was when the family was together and how fine she was and the last time i hugged her before she left :-(
now i'm crying. gosh.
i'm worried.
She called her brother because my grandma's phone was busy. so my mom had rushed over there only to find out they had already left to go help her.
I wish I could go.
I suppose gramma is going to spend the night over there tonight. gosh, i hope she's okay.
Hmph. I love my great-grandma she's so awesome. gosh. okay okay. i need to stop ranting and just...sakhgwoiagnog.
okay.
well, besides that, everything is going alright.
oh, and did i mention that i found out that dad DOES have to work tomorrow. I thought maybe not this year, he did last year. Well, he does. :-/
But he'll be back when i wake up.
I told him he shouldn't work but he has too. Slaving for the people. While they're home in bed all cozy he's out working. hmph.
well. someone has to do it.
Anyway, night.
Santa is coming!!! hehehe
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2002 23 December :: 10.25 pm
Thank you everyone for my great gifts and a good time tonight. Have a great holiday and keep safe.
:-)
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2002 23 December :: 9.58 pm
Gosh.
I had a wonderful time today. It was...wonderful.
It was so nice. Although...there was one thing about it i hated...
It was time to go :-(
didn't want to.
Gosh. I am happy. I can't describe it.
Maybe it's cold but..
...I still have shivers.
I got jessi a naked baby. The granny-panties I got Jess and Becca, well let's just say Kevin and Keegan found some amusement in them and there were a lot of butts shown. ahhhh. lol. gosh. That was funny. I was wondering why those guys kept telling me to keep my eyes closed. wow. what a surprise! hahaha.
Gosh.
Well.
G'night everybody.
:-)
1 -finally spoke up |
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2002 22 December :: 6.29 pm
yah. i got all my shopping done. becca's coming over tonight. today has been nothing but hectic with all this running around and power outages! argh. yah. she's almost here. later
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2002 22 December :: 1.25 am
:: Music: Hootie :-P
And just:
Let her cry:if the tears fall down like rain
Let her sing:if it eases all her pain
Let her go:let her walk right out on me
And if the sun comes up tomorrow
Let her be:let her be.
This morning I woke up alone
found a note by the phone
saying maybe I'll be back some day
I wanted to look for you
You walked in I didn't know just what to do
so I sat back down had a beer and felt sorry for myself.
~~~~~~~
Time, why you punish me?
Like a wave bashing into the shore
You wash away my dreams.
Time, why you walk away?
Like a friend with somewhere to go
You left me crying
Can you teach me about tommorrow
And all the pain and sorrow
Running free?
Cause tomorrow's just another day
And I don't believe in time
Time, I don't understand
Children killing in the street
Dying for the color of red
Time, hey there red and blue
Wash them in the ocean, make them clean,
Maybe their mothers won't cry tonight
Can you teach me about tomorrow
All the pain and sorrow
Running free?
But tomorrow's just another day
And I don't believe in...
Time is wasting
Time is walking
You ain't no friend of mine
I don't know where i'm goin'
I think I'm out of my mind
Thinking about time
And if I die tomorrow, yeah
Just lay me down in sleep
Time, you left me standing there
Like a tree growing all alone
The wind just stripped me bare, stripped me bare
Time, the past has come and gone
The future's far away
Now only lasts for one second, one second
Can you teach me about tomorrow
And all the pain and sorrow
Running free?
'Cause tomorrow's just another day
And I don't believe in time
Time, why you punish me?
~~~~
I got this at goodwill, perfectly good cd. hm.
oh gosh. once i start posting a bunch of lyrics it means i have to go to bed. oh gosh. goodnight. zzz.
:-)
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2002 22 December :: 12.44 am
hm...
Well I just got home. gah.
Yesterday was fun. We had a party 6th hour and jess and i left to roam and we were bouncing balls down the hallway. I almost hit somebody. yep. Then we left school and went to robbo's to watch Lord of the Rings. I had to see it. It was awesome. I liked it a lot. Then around 6 we left to go to Celebrations. We were going down the road and it looked terrible out. Blizzard. But then we turned on Northland Dr. and it was fine. So we ended up going to see Lord..2. and it was SO good. I liked it so much. I want to see it again. Yet, 3 hours with my butt in a seat...eh. By the end of the movie i had to pee bad. haha. So did Jess. On the way home we were joking and she almost peed herself. hahaha.
Then we got home at almost midnight and they said just to spend the night because they didn't want my mommy driving out on the roads. So i did and we had fun and ate some food. Then today after they picked me up, my dad brought me to the Cedar View parking lot. I have the weirdest parents ever. and also yet the coolest, if that's understandable at all.
So we went there and my daddy started doing donuts. Apparently he was going to teach me about ABS and 2 wheel drive stuff and what to do. Haha. So fun. I did a lot of donuts. And they were cool with it because they brought me there to do it. haha. It was fun. (watching mom grip the side of the door.)
:-P
But yeah, then mom and i went shopping and then I came home. Then I went to go watch Brandon, down the road. Yeah. I guess they went bowling tonight and they were in the bar with a group of friends and someone started a fight, haha, my uncle and the bartender had to break it up. It was funny listening to their whole ordeal.
But yeah, anyway. I'm tired that was my couple of days. I miss Charlie. :-(
Hmph.
Well, night. <3
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2002 19 December :: 10.02 pm
I took this and got a "high" on it.
Obsessive-Compulsive
Obsessive-Compulsive personality disorder is similar to obsessive-compulsive anxiety disorder. People with this disorder are overly focused on orderliness and perfection. Their need to do everything "right" often interferes with their productivity. They tend to get caught up in the details and miss the bigger picture. They set unreasonably high standards for themselves and others, and tend to be very critical of others when they do not live up to these high standards. They avoid working in teams, believing others to be too careless or incompetent. They avoid making decisions because they fear making mistakes and are rarely generous with their time or money. They often have difficulty expressing emotion.
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2002 19 December :: 9.22 pm
Gosh. If there is one thing i cannot stand...it's change.
I hate change. I love staying where i am and when there is anything or any possible sign that could bring me to a possible fork in the road, I turn away.
I want most things to stay the way they are right now. It's such a hassle to try to change my schedule and figure out what's plans are going on and all this stuff that doesn't seem that big at all. I wish I could just sit back and let everyone do everything for me sometimes. But i can't. I suppose that's part of growing up and everything. Gr. I need this vacation. Argh. hehe. I'm silly. This is all too dumb of stuff to even stress over. Change isn't all that bad, well, some of it at least. Other than that, I hate it. Well. Let's all sit back and watch everyone eventually destroy each other.
later.
:-P
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