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2005 11 September :: 10.07 pm
:: Music: Driftwood: A Fairy Tale- Cursive
My arms, my legs, my heart, my face...
I saw my grandparents today. At dinner my grandma asked me how old I was going to be. I felt bad. She only has 2 grandkids. My grandpa hugged me extra hard :-)
It's just sad to watch people get older.
We're pretty sure my mom's cancer came back. They really don't know what it is, but it was a large tumor on the side of her head. She goes for a ct scan tomorrow morning. When Kathy was telling me about how her mom died, and she started crying, i just couldn't hold up. I started crying. I don't want to lose her. She's had this once. Now she started getting headaches again and she's tired all the time. I don't want to lose her. I can't.
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2005 11 September :: 2.50 am
:: Music: Irony of Dying On Your Birthday- Senses Fail
I tried to make these smaller
Here's the cutie. I fed her ice cream today. She loved it, it was so cute. No brain freeze though, that's good.
And here's my boy!
Here's Katriana in her totally stylish sunglasses!
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2005 11 September :: 1.51 am
I'm doing good for barely any sleep. Exorcism of Emily Rose is pretty okay. It can't be really really really scary obviously because it was based on a true story so they can't add too much. Which actually makes it good/scary because you know it's happened. It was scarier afterwards too because there were cats in the movie and when we got home the cats were making noises. The lights were all off and Elvis sounded like a little kid screaming. I guess there was a racoon outside though. But still.
Today I got up at 6 to go to class and it was good and all. My stomach growled like a stupid moron though. It was annoying. Then I got out earlier and slept like an hour at Char's. Then his fam started showing up because they all got to go to the ZOO. Not fair at all. I had to leave for work. Which wasn't bad at all today. Then I went back home and they were still GONE. So I went to Wal-Mart and bought a bunch of cleaning supplies and cleaned for a couple hours. Just went crazy. Then everyone came home and we went out to eat. I have a cute picture of Katriana so I think I may post it. I am totally staying home tomorrow. All freakin' day. I ran my car into concrete today...a little. (in a parking ramp) hahaha. How stupid. G'night.
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2005 9 September :: 12.02 pm
Yeahhh. That last entry was so long I just deleted it. I only work for 3.5 hours today. holy crap. That's kind of awesome, just because it's Friday and it's payday and tomorrow I have to get up at 6 for class.
I want to just have one day where I'm not always counting hours. I'm so crazy! I'm going to write my granny a letter now. teehee. :-)
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2005 8 September :: 10.34 pm
:: Music: The Recluse- Cursive
THIS SONG IS AWESOME
How'd I end up here to begin with?
I don't know.
And why do I start what I can't finish?
Oh please don't barrage me with the questions
To all those lovely answers
My ego's like my stomach, it keeps
Shitting what I feed it
But maybe I don't wanna finish anything
Anymore.
Maybe I can wait in bed till [he] comes home and whispers...
*You're in my web now,
I've come to wrap you up tight
Till it's time to bite down.*
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I can't believe this cd had to grow on me. It's like a euphoric moment. Every song sounds good to me now. Hm.
Slept in, went to class, went pretty good, went to Char's, went to McD's to see Jess, went home and I am so energetic right now...it's crazy. Tomorrow I have to work then I'm going to go see The Exorcism of Emily Rose and maybe go to Friday's. And I have to go grocery shopping!
TOMORROW IS PAYDAY! It's funny, I only have enough gas paycheck-to-paycheck. I'm running low but I have enough to get to work. Then I need to cash my check. Haha. I have class Sat. morning @ 7:45 then work. blahshshshs.
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2005 8 September :: 3.00 am
:: Music: From First To Last- Note To Self.
This is probably the most I've ever updated. So I'm looking at tattoos right now...and I can't believe what some people get. Not to mention the creepy guy that used to stop in at the cafe who had pooh bear characters on his arms.....ekkk.
I think I'm going to just get a plain star on my ankle or foot. What about on my ribcage? hm? Nah... Wait. I think I want some on my foot. Ugh. I have to go to class tomorrow. Er. Today. In about 11 hours. I'm going to bed now. No more of this journal stuff! ha
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2005 8 September :: 1.57 am
:: Music: PURGING
GET UP
GET DRESSED
GO TO WORK
they all know who you are...
They can't believe you'd show up here
BUT THAT'S JUST WHO THEY ARE
SHUT UP
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I miss you.
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2005 8 September :: 1.13 am
:: Music: The Honorary Title- Everything I Once Had
This song is so good. I can't get to sleep. I am going to play some guitar. Hopefully I won't wake anyone up. bwahaha.
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2005 7 September :: 10.59 pm
Gahhhhh my heart. Yikes.
El interneto hasnt' been working very well so I never updated anything. The weekend was fun.
I had an interview at Applause Catering that I don't think went too well. Saturday Char and I went to Riverside to grill out w/his folks/sis/bro-in-law/baby. Yummy. Then we went to Lare-bear/Liz's new house in GR and it is cute! Jeff was there too! haha. And we played poker until 2 am and I won money! whoooo! Then I stayed the night at Char's and Sunday we went to see The 40-year Old Virgin which was slightly funny. Sunday I cooked out with my parents and Tuesday my classes started.
After a minor parking set-back that didn't seem too minor at the time, everything went fine. Nutrition was semi-okay but Bus. Eng. was boring and I met a girl that I already knew because we hung out/drank together before. We just didn't remember at first. It's Casey's friend Randi. So yeah, at least I know one person. My teacher reminds me of the 40-year old virgin/Eugene Levy/someone from Office Space. hooh. Since the class is over 3 hours long we got a 25 minute break so Randi and I went to the bookstore to get her book and the line was really long so we were late getting back to class and the door was closed so we walked in with chips and other stuff and had to walk all the way to the back and everyone was quiet so I don't think he likes us at all. But oh well.
Man I go on a whole heck of a lot. Anyway, I worked today at el cafe and it went fine. Tomorrow I have Nutrition from 2-3:30 then I see Char :-) hooooray.
G'night (for now)
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2005 31 August :: 9.02 pm
:: Music: JamisonParker- Dusk, The Day After
Holy Carp! Yes. . . Holy carp.
My mom just said that she had a customer from Otsego or something say that gas was $3.80 over there!!! I just wish I could boycott it but that wouldn't do anything except leave me stranded.
Sometimes I just get this overwhelming rush of joy and happiness with life. Like everything is going to be okay and everything is going to work out with my life. Everything will fall into place. I am going to get an awesome job, I am going to classes I like, I will be 18 soon, and more importantly, even if those things don't work out (except me being 18), I am with the person I love and he will stand by me and help me through everything.
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2005 31 August :: 8.23 pm
:: Music: Gimme Dat
I LOVE CHARLIE!
Hmmm....GUESS WHAT!
Chef Simpson called me today and I have an interview on friday!!!!!!!!
WHOOOOOOOOOOOO
It's my dream job. Seriously. Awesome. I could have a chance of going to Italy sometime. Maybe after a long time of working there, but still. Awesomely awesome. This will be my 5th job!!! I'm only 17 and this will be my 5th job. It's okay, it's experience. I've never gotten fired (knock on wood)
I can't wait till classes start actually. It's cool. For my birthday we're all goin' to margarita grill and then I'm getting a tat. For sure.
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2005 30 August :: 10.28 pm
:: Music: Boys Night Out - Purging
I'm feeling kind of weird. Anxious-like. Earlier today I layed in bed and knew I had places to go and that I should get up and I wanted to, but then I didn't want to leave the house at all, I just wanted to read. Ergh. I visited Ash at work today and dodged el bosso. Then I worked out. Then I went to Applause catering. Head...hurts. I think I'm going crazy. I just don't know what I want to do ever!
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2005 29 August :: 10.38 pm
I love you more than words can say.
I am so tired. I woke up around 2 this morning then went back to sleep until 4:30 when I had to get up to go open at work. Blahhh. I didn't feel very well this morning. Uh oh. Eh I never feel very well in the morning. I saw Char later on today. I got him a grill. Yay! Then I worked out at the gym for like 15 minutes because they were closing. So I'm going again tomorrow and I'm going to Applause to send my resume and hopefully talk to Chef Simpson. Then I'm going to chill because I need time to relax before next week. Classes start. Eek.
On Saturday Char and I went down to CC and all the buildings were locked because we went too late. Ugh. But one of my classes is in the North building and I like the grassy plaza in front of it I will be there a lot I'm sure. And in the ATC building. VISIT ME IN THE CAFE IN OCTOBER! Ya.
That's about it.
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2005 28 August :: 7.52 pm
We're back together. We got back together on Friday morning.
Everything is wonderful. We are more in love now than ever before. It's like love makes more sense now, in a subconsious way. Like everything is brighter. Anyway, things are really good. I am so in love with Charlie. I can't wait till we get married :-D hehe
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2005 25 August :: 11.55 pm
I was looking at my memories and I had some quotes I liked:
-“Will you lend yourself to beauty that will horrify? Let me hide within your black, the still inside your eyes.”
-“I traced all the letters on all of your letters. You never wrote in perfect lines and I never wrote you perfect lines.”
-“Under that threat of sky we lie together, why care about the weather. It only ends in dark.”
-“Flesh seems thicker, sandpaper tears corrode the film, and I need you now somehow and you’re my obsession.”
-“Maybe you’ll kill yourself before you get a turn, maybe I’ll fall in love and never learn.”
-“And whispered rumors of the way you wear you’re black eye like a badge of honor, soaking in the sympathy of friends who never loved you nearly half as much as I do (but irony is for suckers).”
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