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:: 2003 27 November :: 10.32 pm

Some of the best concerts are coming up. I'm so excited. Silverstein and Spitalfield. At ONE concert. Yayyyy. This vacation has been one of the best. Gosh. Things are just...yeah. :) great. I hope everyone else is having a good vacation too.

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:: 2003 27 November :: 5.18 pm
:: Music: [Vendetta Red]

We're the sons and daughters daddy hates too much to kill...
Yesterday was very very good. To make it a good day, you just have to tell yourself it will be a good day. I said it yesterday morning to Becca, and it was very true. Matt and I are going out. I like him so much. He's great, and he cares. And I can tell. He came over yesterday and stayed till 1 this morning. haha. :-) Gosh I am so extremely happy. I am in a great awesome mood. And so is my family. And now I will depart.
:-P

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:: 2003 24 November :: 11.30 pm

Estrela is a very cool band in my opinion. I think they have a TON of potential. :-) awesome.
I have to keep my head on the ground. So many questions. But I still remain happy. Happily confused. Does that mean I'm oblivious? No...I choose to take everything in stride.
He called tonight and I am always happy talking to him. Just tired tonight though. We talked for a long time. Something about him...makes me feel just really comfortable and at ease. He is coming over Wednesday. We talked about Thanksgiving plans. Gah. Relatives. Crazy crazy relatives. Oh well.
You sleep better when you're happy.

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:: 2003 24 November :: 2.54 pm

I am excited. I am happy. I am everything I haven't been in so long. And I am thankful. I am also very nervous. I like him a lot already, I can tell. Last night was so fun. He's so nice. Gosh. What am I going to do.
Today has been going good. Cold. But still good. I am making biscotti for the first time tonight. yum yum. yay. It's for our Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow morning at Skills. Should be fun.

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:: 2003 19 November :: 10.29 pm
:: Music: [Bright Eyes- Lover I Don't Have To Love]

Bad actors with bad habits. Some sad singers they just play tragic. Well, the phone is ringing and the van is leaving. Let's just keep touching. Let's just keep singing.

~

I swear. If my gut is right about this, I'm giving up.
On everyone.

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:: 2003 18 November :: 10.31 pm
:: Music: [Yellowcard- Empty Apartment]

Today was a nice rainy day. I love rain. Everyone is in a rush to get inside to stay dry. But that's the fun of it. Anyway, another, yet another 2-hour delay. More sleeping in. I left my house at 10:39 and I thought class started at 10:45 so I sped all the way there. It was slippery out.
I got this cd today, and I got Bright Eyes- Lifted -or- The Story is in the Soil, Keep Your Ear to the Ground. They are nice. I hope Friday works out, so far so good. I'm still hoping for something new so I really am looking forward to this. Yeah, time for sleep again.

"So that is how I learned the lesson that everyone is alone. And your eyes must do some raining if you are ever going to grow."

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:: 2003 16 November :: 7.44 pm
:: Music: [Um...-onelinedrawing]

Yay. nice weekend. bad cold. bad throat. not really looking forward to school i suppose. but I AM looking forward to possible date on Friday night. possibly? I am excited for something new. It's getting cold out and I am not caring...about stuff.

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:: 2003 14 November :: 10.17 pm
:: Music: Hey Mercedes

Driving by yourself at night is one of the most relaxing things. When there's barely any traffic and you can go however fast you want and the road is smooth. And you can think about things, and just listen to the music and curve around the edges of the road. And you know you get to sleep. Well, not when you're driving...when you get home of course.
Tonight was a lot of fun. Date went well. I think ;-) I did get a ring. And WELL, casey's house is a different story...hehe wink. Hm...I had something else to say on here...
oh yeah...tomorrow...


BTP!!!!!!!!

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:: 2003 14 November :: 4.23 pm
:: Music: [Get Up Kids- Campfire Kansas]

our boats collide, we feel the breeze
we stay afloat and make the most of everything
by noon we had swung the ropes in the woods
missed all dangers, snakes and the floods
burned by the rays and next to our legs, the water so bitter cold
lunch had been saved along with the lighters
wet cigarettes serve us as reminders
never trust a man with food, change of clothes, and a drink in his hand
our boats collide, we feel the breeze
we stay afloat and make the most of everything
the sun will set, the stars would shine
the trees would shake, we'd all feel fine
let's take the moon and make it shine for everyone
we'd laugh away the sunburn
as we laughed away his day
what we lost means nothing
for the memories will stay

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:: 2003 13 November :: 10.08 pm
:: Music: The Pixies

yayyyy
Dylan, your house is very fun. I left my coca-cola on your table. Yes, jessica, you heard that right. Coca-cola. I cannot wait till I get a regular monitor....one that works. :-P
insensitive people. blah. and i don't understand why you seem sad. But I don't like it, and there is nothing I can do anymore. I am going to bed soon.
Like now.

Oh yeah, Jessica/Sarah's pants= hot stuff. hot hot stuff. ;-)
And Dylan's cat is massively hot stuff. as well.
grood.

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:: 2003 12 November :: 7.04 pm
:: Music: AFI

[spreeeeeee]
I am not feeling so great.
School is a pain.
My stomach is a pain.
Driving tonight was a pain. It was dark and scary. And it was very very windy. And I still see crap on the roads.
But on the up side...
God I hate her. I hate her I hate her I hate her. Please, give her an incurable rash.
Didn't go to skills again today. Fog. Fog is nice. Sleep is better.
I am really enjoying all this lack of homework lately. Stir-fry is good.
As you can tell my mind is all over the place. I am waiting for the power to go out.

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:: 2003 11 November :: 9.40 pm

i wish more people would have sex on my journal. And by sex I mean the overuse of comments. Joy.

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:: 2003 11 November :: 7.56 pm
:: Music: [Avenged Sevenfold-Second Heartbeat]

Yeah...You know what?
Nothing seems important.
And you.
You are a jerk.

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:: 2003 10 November :: 7.54 pm
:: Music: [thrice]

:-(

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:: 2003 10 November :: 9.50 am

It was going to be a normal day. It was dark, it was cold. I was driving. I saw breaklights. I slowed down and drove by. I saw a body. I pulled into a random driveway. This kid came running towards me. I knew him. We ran together to a random house. The lights went on. A man stepped out. We screamed for the phone and 911. I got my flashlight out of my car. I flagged down another few cars. A man stepped out. He crouched near the fragile body of a kid. It was dark. I gave him my flashlight. He turned it on and now we could see. Blood was pooled on the gravel. For a few moments I couldn't think. I stood over them and watched the life slip out of this kid. His forehead was torn, he was unconcious. He was hit by a pick-up truck. But it wasn't the driver's fault. The kid was rollerblading in the dark, without a helmet on. More and more people came. A lady next door brought towels and a jacket. It was very cold. I was still standing over them. His pulse was very low. We begged this man not to move him. Someone else screamed "Don't move him!" But he said he had to, or else he would suffocate from his own blood. The random man reached into this kid's pocket and pulled out a wallet. When he read the name, my heart stopped. I knew who this kid was. They called his mother, but she never showed up. I know because I stayed there the whole time. The police showed up and said we needed to stay for questioning. Then we heard the sirens. A couple ambulances came and parked in front of us. All these flashing lights. I was scared. I wanted to help but I didn't know how. It was really weird that my mom ran out of the house today to make sure I had my flashlight. Like she knew something was going to happen. I'm still shaking.
I watched as they lifted his body onto the stretcher. And then lifted him into the ambulance. They said he wouldn't make it to the hospital, so they had to do what they could right then. In the cold. I was still standing over the pool of blood. Everyone was walking around. Everything was in slow motion. The driver sat in the car. The random lady went to work. A cop came over to question me, and I told him what I saw. The fact is, this all happened right in front of me. And no one else really stopped. No one really saw what happened. Only what happened afterwards. I felt sick. I still do. I saw them take out a black bag. I saw them pumping life back into him. Then they left. After more questioning I went home. I cried all the way home. I ran inside. The truth is, I still don't know if he made it. I hope so. My dad says he'd be surprised. I didn't want to stay home, but at 6:30 you really don't have many choices of where to go. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't eat. Both my parents left for work already. I just needed to get this out. In bad situations, there is always the question of "what if?"
What if I had left early, and it was me? I feel really really awful. I have to go to school. I am only going to 5th hour to take my test. But I don't know if I'll be able to concentrate.
I don't know. This is too much.

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