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2003 18 February :: 9.34 pm
:: Music: The Benjamins- Sophia On The Stereo
it sounds like lazy summer sundays, it sounds like somethin' that we both like...
lalala.
i stayed home today.
yeah...i feel...like CRAP!
Complete and utter crap. yet...no. crappy. haha.
Charlie is cheering me up though.
Yay ryan. cool.
Jess and Becca called me today it made me feel better. So i guess i kind of missed some stuff today...hm.
well. i slept a lot today, then i...let me think here...slept some more. You know you're sick when you take nyquil in the middle of the afternoon so you can fall back to sleep.
well, adios!
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2003 17 February :: 11.26 pm
this feels different.
...
winter sucks.
1 -finally spoke up |
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2003 17 February :: 10.47 pm
You know i'll be there, my day will come
i know someday, i'll be the only one
my day will come
i know someday i'll be the only one
:-D
7 -finally spoke up |
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2003 17 February :: 10.37 pm
:: Music: DMB-if i had it all
hmm.....
I'm hungry!
Mom and dad were being really nice to me today. Amazing! lol. I'm so hungry, I only had some cereal today. Grrr.
Well. Off to bed. G'night.
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2003 17 February :: 5.57 pm
:: Music: The Benjamins- Sophia On The Stereo
Ah. Yes, i suppose I am the only crazy one.
Everything hurts. After I wrote that entry i felt dumb. I don't know. And then, I started coughing and i couldn't stop and so...I didn't get to sleep till 5 this morning, but i was just lying there in bed. I couldn't breath.
Gr. My mom said to take medicine, but after the medicine wears off the pain just comes back. And for some odd enough reason, my teeth hurt.
I am such a procrastinator, and as luck would have it, i end up getting super sick on the day i have to write a huge report draft. So i ended up writing it and all my homework is finally done. Nothing else has really happened today. The phone kept ringing off the hook which was bothersome, i was trying to sleep. I hate telemarketers. ahh.
bye
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2003 17 February :: 1.21 am
:: Music: :-) Jack Johnson...again. lol
Well I know she knows it's not right, there ain't no use in lyin', well maybe she thinks i know something maybe, maybe she thinks it's fine, or maybe she knows somethin' i don't...
argh. And yet here i am again.
...I'm hating my internet connection right now...
...
I want to be young again. So i don't have to worry about life. Things like 'what's for lunch' were the most of my worries.
...hmph.
I mean, I love where i'm at right now. Sometimes I wish my parents didn't care so much, what if i'd had an older sibling that could break them in...that way i could do my own thing sometimes.
But gosh, i don't know if i'd want that either. maybe i don't make sense. which is fine too.
It's not good to wish you were anywhere else though. Life goes by too fast as it is. And sometimes...too slow. You can't really do anything about it, my dad said no autopilot. and that is true. hehe...the band. Autopilot Off.
Anyway...If i wished I was 5 again, I'd want to be older. It's just the way it is.
Wishing for more freedom. More freedom=more responsibilities....
though. and that's the good part of being 5.
No worries. No responsebilities.
If you haven't noticed, i ramble when i can't sleep.
I ramble anyways, but...
Do you ever worry about being alone? We're all alone and we're all dying. There are no breaks.
I couldn't bare losing someone I love. It hasn't happened to me. But i know that it will someday, and that brings worries. Being alone. It's all there. It's all coming. Someday. But I guess worrying about it is wasting what precious time we all have. So...
eh. I don't know.
These thoughts..have been going through my head.
And what if it was all to come crashing down at my feet? What happens then? What if my dreams all disperse and my bubble of comfort that high school brings is suddenly popped. Nothing in high school matters. And high school doesn't bring comfort...but what i mean is being around the same people every single day has to create some routine, right?
I try to stay away from the social event things. I don't like them. I noticed today it was hard to talk on the phone. To be specific, hard to find words...and that's why i hate talking on the phone. I cna't think of anything sometimes...
Silence. Dead...awkward...silences...
I can tell this will, or already is, a very long entry. But what else to do when you're awake this early.
I'm just going on and on jumping into different topics with barely a connection between. So, i'm going to go now and go do something else. feel free to leave a comment so i know i'm not the only crazy one...lol
:-)
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2003 17 February :: 12.42 am
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: Jack Johnson-Brushfire Fairytales
And there were so many newer questions...
I'm up, I can't sleep. And a million thoughts are going through my head. It feels like I have a huge clamp on my brain. I took medicine but being sick really sucks. I keep coughing.
Okay, enough of that.
Mom took me shopping today. I hate shopping.
But my parents and i got along very well. It was funny. We watched Signs for the millionth time too. I'm glad I didn't babysit last night, the kid had strep...
No school tomorrow! Yay.
Charlie has school tomorrow though, that sucks. I want him to come over.
I have a lot of homework to do tomorrow.
I've been on here downloading DMB all night for my dad. It took forever but it's finally done so i think i may try to get to sleep...
Goodnight :-)
Say something! |
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2003 16 February :: 12.39 am
I'm bored.
Reminds you of an ex-lover: Incubus
Reminds you of an ex-friend: Duncan Sheik
Makes you cry: Rufio
Makes you laugh: NOFX
You never want to hear again: Avril Lavigne or Dishwalla "Somewhere In The Middle"...i swear...
Sums up your teenage years: The Starting Line
You want to get married to: The Used
You like to wake up to: Rival Schools
You like out of your parents record collection: Bob Dylan
You love that you wouldn't know about if it wasn't for a friend: The Early November
Makes you think of someone who died: The Used
You love the video more than the tune: …
Reminds you of your first crush love: Dashboard Confessional
Reminds you of your now crush love: Anti-Flag
Makes you think of sex: Last Days of April or Anti-Flag
Makes you think of being alone: further seems forever “Snowbirds & Townies”
Has only been released recently but you love already: Trapt
Are you embarrassed to admit you like:
Perks you up: Plan B
Makes you wanna injure somebody: Finch “Project Mayhem”
Do you love to sing: Brand New
2 -finally spoke up |
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2003 15 February :: 11.39 pm
:: Music: Jack Johnson-Flake
And maybe she knows, somethin' i don't, i'm so, i'm so tired, so tired of trying
No one likes to be let down.
Gr. I hate this. I hate this. I hate this. I hate this. I hate this. I hate this. I hate this.
I love this song.
Grr. I hate this.
*repeat chorus* hmph.
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2003 15 February :: 2.32 pm
harumph.
Mine and Rebecca's new word.
Describes kind of how i feel right now.
Becca just left. I have to babysit tonight. Can't go snowboarding.
Middle=sucks.
Very badly. I hate this. It's too stressful.
2 -finally spoke up |
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2003 14 February :: 10.54 pm
Becca and Jess are here right now. My back hurts. Becca can no longer please my needs. haha. ;-D
The day started off very stressful and not very good. And then things progressed into getting better so, we're all together it's good. :-)
And we got a group hug :-)
And...well, i won't get into detail but you know. lol. j/k
"Hard to stop at a hug"
-Jess
"No comment, i just can't help myself"
-Becca
"Mother always said not to talk with my mouth full..."
-Jess
Goodnight. Oh, and i hope she was kidding...i'm not going to fall asleep tonight for fear of...ahhhhh
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2003 13 February :: 10.46 pm
And also, i agree with Bertie, NO FUCKING WAR.
Lol. wow. i'm weird but i'm not obsessed or anything. I've never been obsessed with a band before and i don't plan on getting obsessed. They're just awesome.
Gah. I'm scaring myself. Anyway...
Gosh. Being the median between the two and relaying messages is hard to do. I'm so confused.
This is hard to do. Watch my tongue.
This is hard to do.
I can't watch this forever,
I can't do this forever.
This is hard to do.
Gah. i keep repeating myself but it's exactly how i feel right now.
Gah. And i feel that the deal with this war...is going to be like the millenium.
Everyone goes all out to protect themselves, although right now i see nothing of the sort, but money is going to be spent because everyone thinks THEY'RE GOING TO ALL DIE!!!
lol.
i don't now. I'm a little...okay, if i hear another thing about "ORANGE, level ORANGE, we're in real deep trouble here" yep...
gahhh.
This is stupid.
I'm going to bed now. This is all they're talking about.
Night
2 -finally spoke up |
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2003 13 February :: 9.52 pm
hm....
Well, start off by,
I LOVE THE USED
I love them for everything they've been through and how hard they've worked and how far they've come. Even if they did cause some of their experiences they've written just beautiful songs as a result. Gosh. I sound all dumb but they truly are a wonderful band and i love them.
hehe. Yeah.
Okay...anyway...
Today was alright.
Time goes quickly
I thought about it like this today,
we've started another year, and here we are already halfway through the second month. It just seems like it's gone so fast. Every year goes by quicker.
Ah. i'll write more i'm sure.
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2003 12 February :: 9.17 pm
:: Music: Bad Religion-Broken
i wanna laugh, but i think i'm chokin' on reality...
No school today.
Cool.
I didn't get to sleep in as late as i'd hoped but oh well.
Didn't do too much today.
I'm still tired.
eh. Hopefully tomorrow goes fast. It may. Then...4 day weekend. awesome.
1 -finally spoke up |
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2003 11 February :: 11.06 pm
hmph.
not in bed yet.
hmph. i'm worried. i don't want you out driving tonight. :-( hmph. it sounds so bad. blizzard and 45 minute wait for help and cars sliding off the road and spinouts and wind and...and..."Please stay off the roads"...and..."Too dangerous, increasing winds" and...
you had to leave for work! ahhh.
And our school is not yet on the scrolling list.
NO.
Well. Night. now. Stupid winter. I've never hated it as strongly as i do now.
especially because we have it, and still no snow days. eck. night.
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