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:: 2003 9 January :: 10.38 pm

I'm waiting for blood to flow to my fingers, I'll be alright once my hands get warm...

~

We're doing fine,
We're doing nothing at all.
My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me.
So won't you kill me?
So i die happy.
...
Safe in here from all the stupid questions,
'Hey did you get some?'
Man, that is so dumb.
Stay quiet, stay near, stay close they can't hear,
-so we can get some.

~
hm...
Well.

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:: 2003 9 January :: 6.56 pm

It seems to be, that everything that happened today was very out of the blue. Everything.
Every day for me usually consists of nothing at all. Not today though. Wow.
And that tramp. I cannot stand her. She's such a *0984231-01/,';kl!%$&(@)*&^* SLUT.
Gosh. She's dumb too. Wow. I can't even believe how dumb she is. Evil and coniving. Trampy. Wow. What a nice combination.
Added a little comic relief with the sarcasm.
She's like a parasite. She has to live off/take from others in order to go from day to day.
At least, that's my view of it.
Venation complete.
Anyway, enough on that.
I'm tired.
later.

2 -finally spoke up | Say something!


:: 2003 9 January :: 9.30 am

wow. that was fun.

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:: 2003 9 January :: 9.21 am

my cd burners is really cool. i stayed up really late doing crap on it. haha.
wow. i'm a loser.
anyway, i really like "The Anniversary".
I'm going to go now. I really don't have much to do or say right now so i'm rambling on and on and on and on and on and on.....

7 -finally spoke up | Say something!


:: 2003 9 January :: 9.16 am

I can't express the way i feel right now.
there are no words for it.
or it's a mixture.
i'm also hungry and very much so and everything seems to be going wrong and i want to go home and sleep but i know that's not going to do anything. "Sleep suspends all but changes nothing."
Have a good day everyone.

9 -finally spoke up | Say something!


:: 2003 9 January :: 9.13 am

Hmph. This is no good.

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:: 2003 7 January :: 10.34 pm

And on these boats ride the hopes of...
Working class boys, dreaming of girls from far away points...



Blah blah blah.
We went after school to Robbo's. (Crystal, Jess, Robbo, and i).
We hung out for a while cause we didn't feel good. And then we called Cannonsburg to see if they'd accept my passes. Nope. No snowboarding for us tonight. blah. oh well. We're going tomorrow and we're going FOR SURE. it's going to work out this time. haha.
All these cancellations must mean something. Maybe i'm not supposed to go. Maybe i will break my leg.
So we ended up going to the mechanic and then to Great Day. Then to Hungry Howies. Then we went back to robbo's and ate all our food. Cheese Bread. yum...:-D
And then we went upstairs and you know what? Charlie! You forgot your movie there!
After that it was getting late so we dropped Crystal off, went to Jess's and played Rook. Then i went home. And here i am now. Mom went to go see the pups without us today. But she brought back a video of them. They're getting bigger and cuter.
:-)
I can't wait. And we got a burner today. finally.
So i have to hook that up, but not tonight. I'm going to bed after i finish my english homework. reading. But i really enjoy this book. i even got it. haha. and the sequel to it. gosh. i'm a dork. haha.
oh well. anyway. enough babbling. G'night everyone. :-)

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:: 2003 6 January :: 9.41 pm

These things are dealt in increments.

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:: 2003 6 January :: 9.17 pm

Back to school today.
I couldn't sleep at all last night.
And everyone i'd talk to said they couldn't sleep either.
I tried everything. But just lying there in bed and thinking "I HAVE to get to sleep...I HAVE to get to sleep." didn't help at all.
Anyway. It was a pretty good day.
Tomorrow we're going snowboarding. Then on wednesday too. Fun. I hope i don't break my leg. That'd be great.
I couldn't get warm at all today. I even opened one of my hand warmers...
It was nice.
And then when i got home I played the old nintendo. Super Mario 3 to be exact. lol.
And then I went upstairs and fell asleep watching Simpsons. I didn't feel good and still sort of don't but oh well.
i'm sick of crap and i want to go to bed. Sometimes i don't like to...
oh nevermind.

G'night everyone.

"You can't belittle this,
this could change everything.
This one is mine to believe."

1 -finally spoke up | Say something!


:: 2003 6 January :: 9.10 pm
:: Mood: Sick...still happy though.
:: Music: Further Seems Forever :-)

And you were the outline of everything you would become. The keeper of these hands.
To hold you now
it is a far cry than
anything that i deserve.

I'm waiting to give you
whatever the world may bring
I'd give you my life
cause I don't own anything.
It seemed like the bottom
was all that i had
until now
I'd give you my life
if you'd give me
yours somehow

Your hands didn't move
well, neither did mine
New Years will bring
me to you.
I'm waiting to give you whatever the world may bring
I'd give you my life
cause I don't own anything.
It seemed like the bottle
was all that i had
until now
I'd give you my life
if you'd give me yours somehow.

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:: 2003 5 January :: 9.00 pm
:: Music: Bad Religion

I want to conquer the world.
I'm excited. We're going snowboarding tomorrow afternoon i think...
I have to start out on the bunny-hill otherwise i'm screwed for sure. And don't even think for one second you'll see me on the face. Never going on that hill...ever.
!!!
I think we're getting a cd burner tomorrow finally. I hope.
I really don't want to go back to school...
crap.
Well. Oh well.
I had the weirdest dream last night. Weirdest. It was a long one too and i think i remember most of it. Odd.
Anyway. That's about it. I haven't even picked out what i'm wearing tomorrow. I never do. Just shows how much anticipation i have! Yippee!. . .

Everyone get some sleep and have a good night. And good day :-)

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:: 2003 5 January :: 4.12 pm

My room stinks.



I think it's from my old shoes because Jessi hasn't been here for a while.

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:: 2003 5 January :: 2.51 am
:: Mood: bored and tired...

Now i just have to go to bed. i can't be doing these types of things....lists.!
Beginning ;
What time is it: // 2:00am
What is the date // January 5, 2003

` Info about you ;
Full Name // Hilary Ann Miller
Age // 15
Sex // girl
Birthday //October 3, ‘87
Where do you live // Cedar Springs, MI
Where else have you lived // In my mom’s uterus.
Zodiac Sign // libra
What school do you go to // CSHS
What is your mascot // a sadly mistaken Red Hawk
What are your school colors // Red/White/Black
Nicknames // silly, weirdo, hil, hilly, holiday
Where were you born // Grand Rapids, MI
What are your hobbies // music, friends, snowboarding, golf, doing these endless lists. (ha!)
Hair color // auburn
Ever dyed your hair // if highlights count.
What color // highlights.
Hair length // getting longer
Eye color // dark brown
Height // 5’9” (now, I think.)
Have any pets // I had a couple fish but they lasted a few days. Now we’re getting a couple daschunds!
What do you fear most in the world // Drowning. Falling through ice and being stuck underneath.
If you could do anything without consequences, what would it be // EVERYTHING!
Do you have braces // not right now but I have twice before.
Are you good at school // I don’t remember anything right now. We’ll see.
Shoe size // 10!
` Favorites ;
Car // Right now I just don’t care. I drive the truck. Anything with 4wh drive
Color // RED and black.
Day of the week // Friday
Holiday // Christmas
Season // Fall
Month // October
Sport // Golf
Movie //Fightclub, Meet Joe Black.
Actress //Natalie Portman
Actor // Edward Norton
T.V. show // Simpsons. SNL.
Food // Stir-Fry
Drink // Juice.
Male singer // Walter Schreifels
Female singer // Brody from Distillers. Ani Difranco.
E-mail buddy // hm…what’s that?
Radio station //
Room in your house // mine of course.
CD // Rival Schools-United By Faith
Pizza Topping // cheese
State // Maine
City // Eastport
Letter // H
Number // 22
Vacation spot // Italy or Maine
Cereal // Anything. I love it.
Ice cream flavor // Sorbet…probably some kind of it. Or that good ColdStone stuff. That stuffs really good.
Video game // The OLD Nintendo…tetris or Super Mario 3.

` Your friends ;
Friends // people
Best friend // the ones who care
Spend most time with // Jess
Who do you have the most inside jokes with // hm…Nekkid Babies! Jess!

` This or That ;
Red or Blue // RED
Pretzels or Potato Chips // Pretzels
Jeans or Khakis // khakis
Comedy or Drama // it all depends.
Computer or TV // computer
Gold or Silver // silver
Outgoing or Shy // outgoing
Tall or Short // tall…
Breakfast or Dinner // Brunch!
Day or Night // night
Radio or Cd\'s // Cds
Internet or Phone // …I think Internet.
Guy or girl // for what?
Sexy or Cute // sexy
Tuff or wimpy // don’t know
Strong or weak // don’t know
Funny or hilarious // …Hilaryous.
Summer or winter // Winter
Love or lust // love
Friends or family // I need both
Car or truck // like I said. 4-wheel drive is needed. Truck.
Dog or cat // puppy
Walk or run // walk…
Inside or outside // outside
Hurricane or Tornado // Hurricane
Thunder or lightning // lightning…beautiful
Rain or snow // Rain…beautiful. Especially when you run out in your pj’s and stand outside then come in and get warm.
Hail or sleet // Sleet
Sunny or cloudy // Slightly overcast w/a breeze
Loud or quiet // quiet
Mcdonalds or Burger king // Parfait-fan.
Rebel or goodie goodie // why?
Coffee or tea // tea
Coke or pepsi // diet coke
Mr. Pibb or Dr. Pepper // dr pepper
White chocolate or normal chocolate // normal chocolate
Britney or Christina // does it matter? They both suck.
Chocolate or vanilla // vanilla
Diary or journal // journal.
Writing or typing // writing
Cold or hot // cold
Pen or pencil // pen
Candle or insence // candle/insence
Plain paper or lined paper // lined
Blonde or brunette // brunette
Curly or straight //straight
Blanket or sleeping bag // sleeping bag…
Shower or bath // Both. Although I haven’t taken a bath in so long. It’s funny how no one has the time anymore instead they just take showers. Maybe it’s just me…
Body wash or soap // body wash
Purfume or Body spray //perfume
Hamburgers or hotdogs // no.
Great America or Universal Studios // ??? I don’t remember.
Pochahontas or Mulan // Mulan
Swimmer\'s ear or ear infection // swimmers ear
Pop tart or toaster strudels // haha! Robby-Poptarts!!! Haha. No….
Chicken or turkey // hm.
MTV or VH1 // MTV for shows like Flipped. I like that show. They hardly play it though. Oh well.
Shorts or pants // pants.
Tank tops or t-shirts //t-shirts.
Rich and dumb or Poor and smart // Hm…what a question. Well, I guess poor and smart would turn out to be better…
Markers or colored pencils // markers
Boxers or briefs // boxers
Nike or Adidas // Adidas
Mercedes or BMW // Mercedes…benzer! Haha!
Orange or grape // Orange
Lime or lemon // lime
Striped or plaid // plaid
Innie or outie // innie
Hot tub or sauna // hm…hot tub.
Land or water // water
Sneeze or cough // why?
Skittles or M&M\'s // I haven’t had those in so long. Skittles.
Truth or dare // dare

` Which way would you spell it ;
Megan or Meghan // Megan
Lacey or Lacy // Lacey
steven or Stephen // Steven
Kurt or Curt // Kurt
Mark or Marc // Mark
Brandi or Brandy // Brandie
Eric or Erik // Erik
Corrine or Carine // Corrine
Kari or Carrie // Kari
Jackie or Jackqui // Jacki
Deseray or Desirae // Desirae
Ashley or Ashleigh // Ashlee
Their or there // depends…
Two, too, or to // depends…
Here or hear // gr. Depends…
` Love life ; yes?
Do you have a crush // A crush is about being crushed.
Whats his or her name // He’s not a crush
How old are they // almost 20
How long have you liked him or her // Ever since I met him.
If you could kiss anyone in the world, who would it be // Myself.
If you could date anyone in the world, who would it be // Jessi! Hahaha
Do you prefer being the dumper or the dumpee // ??? it’s all the same.
Do you think there is a person for everyone // Well some people there’s just no helping…overall yes.
If yes, do you know who yours is // Yes.
Do you believe in love at first sight // I wouldn’t say yes if it hadn’t happened to me.
Have you ever been in love // Yes.
What do you think love is // Love has no definiton. It has no age limit and it has no regrets. It’s finding your best-friend.
Do you have a b/f or g/f // Yes.
Do you want one // uh. yeah.
What do you like about your crush or b/f, g/f // Everything.
When was your first kiss // First kiss ever? Oh gosh. Let’s not talk about that it’s rather demeaning/dumb.

Past ;
First grade teacher's name // Mrs. Graf
Last word you said // Goodnight.
Last song you sang // The Used-“The Taste Of Ink”
Last meal you ate // Dinner
What did you hate most about school // ideal of anything.
Last person you flicked off // hm.
Last song stuck in your head // The Used-“On My Own”
What line/verse // “I’m choking on nothing
It’s all clear in my head
And I’m screaming for something
Knowing nothing is better than knowing at all

On My Own…”

Present ;
What\'s in your CD player // The Used, Further Seems Forever, and my Cover cd Charlie burned for me J
What color sox are you wearing // BEAR feet. Lol.
What\'s under your bed // Wow. I don’t even know anymore. Something scary. Lots of books and more crap.
What\'s the weather like // Ah, yeah, it’s *sunny*! Haha. Right.
What time did you wake up today // Today would be…today. So technically I haven’t gone to sleep yet.
Did you think it was earlier, later, or on time //Well. No.
`
Future ;
Who do you want to marry // My soul-mate.
Are you going to college // Yep.
If so, how long do you want to go // However long it takes.
Where do you want to go // I’m not so sure anymore…
What is your career going to be // Culinary Artist
Where are you going to live //In Maine by the Ocean.
How many kids do you want // if i have kids then maybe 2? Hm..
Kids names girls //Sally
Kids names boys //Domonick. Something like that I don’t know.
Where do you want your honeymoon // Hawaii
What kind of car will you have // hm. Not a mini-van. I’m not car-pooling.

` Have you ever ;
Smoked // no. never will either
Been Drunk // nada.
Been high // definite no.
Done drugs // no.
Stole // Friends food doesn’t count.
Stayed up all night on the internet // Wow. It’s like you guessed.
.Met someone off the internet (in person) // yeah
Been in a cat fight //haha. Yeah, and a fun one at that! Lol.
Wanted to kill someone // every day
Fell off a chair // Chair pulled out from you or in front of you, yes.

` Other ;
Do you like your handwriting // it’s legible.
Which superhero would you be // Wonder Woman. She can bend her what…!? And anyone with X-Ray vision. Haha.
Do you have any piercings // yep
Any tattoos // no
If so where are the piercings // Ears.
If not, where and what do you want // nipple. Haha. NOT. Never. No no no.
Are you picky // with food sometimes.
What makes you cry // Over-reacting or laughing too hard.
What makes you mad // Ignorance and arrogance and obliviousness.
Do you like cartoons // Simpsons.
Do you believe in heaven // Yeah.
Do you believe in God // Yeah.
Do you think there is a hell // Probably.
Do you believe in the devil // i don't know
When you get mad, do you swear a lot // ahh. I’d have to be pretty aggrivated.
Do you have a magic 8 ball // haha. I just got one for Christmas and it’s awesome! It’s RED! And it’s a LOVE BALL. My aunt got it for me. I’m so proud. Lol.
Ever worn black nail polish // yep
Do you have your own tv and vcr // yeah
Do you believe in fate // yes.
Do you see dead people // You betcha. Haha.
Are you a good speller // sure
Do you ever steal anything from hotels // Brochures!
What is your last name backwards? // Rellim
Do you want to be the first person on the sun when you grow up? // What kind of stupid question is that. Yeah. Sure I do. I’m taking a bus-load of people who also want to go, too.


` What Do These Words Make You Think Of
Frog // Lick. Lol!
Carol // -ers.
Solider // Silver
Star // Rock
Ticket // Floor
Breakfast // Toast
`
This or that ;
Florida or California? // hm…
Sprite or 7-UP? // Mountain Dew
Mountains or the beach? // Both are beautiful. Mountains have less people but I love water.
AIM or MSN Messenger? // AIM
Geography or Math? // geography
Leonardo DeCaprio - hot or not? // NOT
Private schools or Public schools? // Public. Private are conformed…Public is just…gah. NEITHER! Haha.
Email or Phone? // I don’t like talking on the phone.
Baseball or Basketball? // no. t-ball!
Do you like quieter people or extremely outgoing people? // Quieter people are more intriguing. Ex. Outgoing give you something to talk about but can sometimes get annoying. Quieter ones are listeners.
Sun or Moon? // Moon
Christmas or Your Birthday? // Both
Blue or Purple? // Blue…but it was a hard decision.
Creed or Blink-182? // Even God hates Creed.
Bath & Body Works or The Body Shop? // Bath & Body works. But The Body Shop has those cool massagers.
Australia or Africa? // Australia.
Flirting or a good conversation? // Good conversation
Which is scarier: tornado, hurricane, or earthquake? // they’re all scary I heard.
Middle School or High School? // neither. High School has more freedom though.
Wavy/curly hair or straight hair? // Straight
Blue eyes or Brown eyes? // Brown
Gelled hair or un-gelled hair (for guys) // I don’t know.
Nintendo 64 or playstation//eh
Guinea Pigs or Hamsters? // used to be jessi’s and becca’s.
Bikinis or Tankinis? // bikinis
Hawaii or the Bahamas? // Hawaii


ending time~ 2:47am. Holy crap. ZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZz…

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:: 2003 5 January :: 1.58 am

My mind is wide asleep my conscience deep awake
the promises i keep are not the ones i make
I count the caustic causes I lost count of regrets
A surplus of good intentions don't provide me with content...

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:: 2003 5 January :: 1.17 am

Wait a minute...now it's today.



<3

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