Well... Simple Plan broke up, JUST CAN'T HOLD THE TEARS BACK.
I hate having an unusual name. It really does suck.
"METTIIII????"
"MEDDI????"
"METTUH???"
"MET????"
"MADDY????"
And of course my favorite:
"METAL????"

It's just annoying, and even as much as it might be part of my personality, it just would be so much easier just having a regular name. Maybe something in the ballpark of "Katie Smith". Now that's a name! Anyone who feels my pain, don't hestitate to tell me.

Everything's a big blurr. Things stopped changing, and everything just remains the same. I don't really have an opinion on it... Besides that, school is going as it usually goes, and really there's nothing more to it.

I need a hobby or something, there's just nothing else to do.

Going to Florida this weekend, let's hope that will stirr up the bowl a little!

And also, just you know as a minor fact to myself; people desperately need to stop complaining. I know it sounds hypocritical, but one should only complain if there is seriously a complaint in order. When the issues are dead, you must not try to visit them again, or try to bring them back to life- good for nothing anyway. Sometimes the complaints just get very old, and it becomes necessary for you to realize that maybe it's not the people around you, maybe it is indeed just yourself that you need to have a talk with.
If a problem rises, deal with it. End of discussion.

Oh, and just one more thing.
The easter bunny is such a hottie, some day I shall and will marry him. Just for you all who have doubted me, you'll see...

What goes up, must come down...
And a very Happy Birthday to Tina tomorrow, March 26th 2004.

judgement
We are all just too quick to judge sometimes, bad or good judgement. The realizations you make about people, often just don't stay true. People are such complex people. What you see, definetily- is not what you get.
Moderate day today, but sometimes there are certain things just etsing away my brain, I can hear it simmering.
Things change
Things change
Things change

Canada
After an extremely bumpy plane ride, it is good to be home. I say that with a passion. My 5-year old brother decided it would be quite witty to vomit all over my jeans, and my black Northface jacket. Quite witty indeed. I hope I washed the vomit off my skin, only time... And smell for that matter, will show.
Canada was surprisingly amazing. Never have I been a place so similar to New York that I actually loved. I know Canada is the center of most pathetic ness to most Americans, but it doesn't make sense. Not only are Canadians polite and courteous, they have great sense of cuisine and culture.
I enjoyed walking the streets of Toronto, giving a "howdy" to a homeless man, and a "hello, sir" to my stepfather's lawyer, who by the way was quite good looking. Actually, he was the hottest lawyer my eyes have ever spotted.
I even enjoyed sitting in the Immigration office, small and crowded, just looking at the different people. Never have I seen such a diversity of people, and for once I was not the only blonde in the room- not at all. Even as we were seated in the Immigration office for 3 hours, the joy of "Mr. van Kaam is next" was explosive. And when it was over, I was not one to complain.
I would move to Toronto in a heart beat, I was so ignorant to think that everyone here was right.
I loved Canada, and I am not afraid to say so. Isn't that something?
What is next to look forward to?
Location: Shanghai, China.
It all really isn’t bad, as long as you have something to look forward to. And really, we all do.

I puke at all happiness
It all turned sour. Green Apple is such a nasty flavor, for a lollypop. It makes your tongue green. I will throw it out, before I bite it- and hurt it. That just wouldn't be fair. I can never just let go and let someone love me. For some reason, it is a lot easier allowing yourself to devote oneself to another person. Yet, when someone tries to connect with you, I can never trust anyone. I have trust issues.
I wish I could force myself to do things sometimes, I wish I did love him.
Why can't someone just come along, and make it all better. When I scrape my knee, there is never anyone there with a bandaid.
Maybe I complain too much, maybe I'm a bitch. Maybe I'm just me.

the days of sunshine
This time of light brings good upon all of us. Never have I seen such happiness among the people around me. Winter is finally over, it is felt deep down in my gut, and I'm glad. It's been a long wait. I'm glad. I'm glad.
Does it really take a person to erase another person from the mind? Or is it simply just the excitement of someone new, that makes us see the past as a grey light while the new one is beams of color and vibration. This is exactly what was necessary for me to leave him behind and just breathe and be over with it. It truely feels great, and simply all I need to say to you is "fuck you" and it shall be done. We are finished. Farewell.
Look at the sun and smile, this is all you will be doing for the remainder of the year. Once I look back on this with a box of tissues stuck to my right hand, maybe I will realize how much I really have to appreciate.
"What class do you have now?"
"Retard Room"
Tina joined Chess Club. The world is going under.

That 4 letter word
Happy Valentines Day. In this country, on this day, you always get to thinking about love. The whole idea of Febuary the 14th commercializes everything this day is supposed to mean, and does a bad job of presenting the real meaning. This idea that on one day every year, you confide in your loved one, telling them you love them. I would say it would be a lot more romantic, on a random day, when the pressure is not there.
It's not even about love anymore, it's about the ideas representing love these days- marriage, presents, hearts, candy, dinner and a movie, etc. Love is such a splendid thing, love is such a simple thing. We all ruined it.
Despite me not believing in today, it still makes me think of all the things I thought I had forgotten. We get to thinking about our past relationships, not only with boyfriends, but with your friends too, because truely this is what love is. All the things we thought we had left in the past, the things we thought we had put behind us, reappear right infront of us. Even though it might be gone, it is coming back- just this once- to remind us of what we once had, and once will miss.
I hope you have a splendid one, just keep in the back of your mind however, that love was meant to be simple- God never meant for us ruin it, but we did.