izntlifesojuicy
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2005 7 September :: 8.18pm
:: Mood: ahh
:: Music: For You To Notice... by Dashboard Confessional
~*~ QuOtE oF tHe DaY ~*~
" My hopes are so high your kiss might kill me
So wont you kiss me
So I die happy "
everyday is like the worst day ever
my calf hurts soooo bad. i pulled a muscle in the side of my calf and i cant walk with out limping and it hurting and i couldnt dance for my life todai soo yeah.
and my party.. what the hell i dont even feel like having it anymore bcuz its becoming too much of a hassle and my mom is talking about having at my house after we get new furniture in october.. but i dont want it at my house thats the thing. and yeah. theres one last place thats a possibility but its like my last resort and i dunno.
ryan is in trouble.. again.. and i havent talked to him in a couple days and his mom called me yesterday to tell me house he skipped all these days and had barely been going to school and how she might talk to my parents cuz she doesnt wan him to be a bad influence blahblahblah and yeah
so i dunno
plus im stressingggg
as alwaysssss
mr hull tried to run me over todai with his lexus
it was hil-a-ri-ous
oh yahhhhhhhhhh
THE OC SEASON PREMIERE IS TOMORROW AT 8!!!!!!!!!
i am so excited!!!!!!
jessica told me it was tomorrow this morning and it like made me day omg i was so happy. and i today i saw the trailer thing for the new season and i almost cried again, my eyes got teary eyed
yeah im lame
<3
That would be for me
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izntlifesojuicy
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2005 3 September :: 2.01pm
:: Mood: crappy
:: Music: Photograph by Nickelback
~*~ QuOte oF tHe DaY ~*~
"Every memory you cant replace
I miss it now
How I wish I could go back."
jonet slept over last night
we stayed after school and hung out it DP's office waiting on jonathan and then we came here and hung out and ate and stuff, and it think we're going klaidescope. i dont knoe if i can be in the hip hop peice tho cuz i cant chicken head for my life. so i prolly will just do lyrical.
but uh yeahhhhh
im supposed to hang out with emily and joshua todai but he hasnt called me, so i dont knoe what we're doing
tomorrow im going to church with jonet and then her studio to work on our peice.
i rlly rly wanna see ryan this weekend but his mom found out he skipped school 5 days in a row so hes like on lockdown and i can never talk to him and its rly frustrating. and yesterday i talked to him for the first time in a couple days when i was at school but we got into a fight cuz he said i wasnt listening to him.
so i prolly wont see him this weekend and it makes me sad
<3
That would be for me
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izntlifesojuicy
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2005 31 August :: 5.45pm
:: Music: Like You by Bow Wow
~*~ QuOtE oF tHe DaY ~*~
"With every chance I take
Another mistake I make."
yeahhhh im listening to bow wow... whoa totally not me but i rly like this song i dunno whyyy
anyways today was ok. except my mom was a bitch as always. and then i call her after school to see where shes at and shes all "im stuck at the office dont talk to me bye" and i was like waaa one day out the week i ask her to pick up. so i ended waitin at the school till 4:30 but it was sweet i guess. i didnt care. didnt feel like gettin mad about it.. it woulda taken too much energy.
but yeah and then we had to go to stanton to pick up my brother and dane and more bitchin it was a mess.
but yes
im outtie
<3
That would be for me
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izntlifesojuicy
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2005 29 August :: 5.55pm
:: Mood: headache
:: Music: Georgia by John Mayer
all this rain makes me sleepy
nappy nap time
That would be for me
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izntlifesojuicy
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2005 29 August :: 5.42pm
:: Mood: crappy
:: Music: Not Myself by John Mayer
todai was ok but kinda sucky at the same time i dunno
logan and aj picked up and took me to school thank god.
cuz last night me and mom got into a really bad fight and i was like bawling my eyes out and she was being a total bitch so the last thing i wanted to do was sit in the car with her for 25 minutes.
yeah and aj gave me two packs of starburst which made my day cuz i was feeling so crappy and starbursts always brighten up my day. how could they not brighten up anybody elses day? with bright colors and juicy flavors. come on now theyre perfect
ahahahaha
yeah well i hate my algebra II class im going to die. its so gay
oh yeah and i ended up not seeing josh but i will this weekend.
i promised
tonight is open house and im not going and i doubt my parents will end up going either
but yeahhh
i have so much homework its not even funnie and i had trouble falling asleep last night bcuz yeah
and i hope ryan calls me soon i wanna talk to him i miss him <3
im out
peace
That would be for me
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izntlifesojuicy
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2005 28 August :: 1.12pm
:: Mood: ohkay
:: Music: Everything Is Alright by Motion City Soundtrack
just got out of the shower
i finished some of my homework already
but i have so much more to do its rediculous.
i might see josh todai but i dont knoe because my mom was bitching about it
and ryan was being weird about it saying that if i go that means if any of his ex girlfriends ask him to hang out he'll say yeah since im going to see josh. but i dont want him to see glory and i told him that and he never said he didnt want me to see josh and he cant do that if hes telling me i can go but im telling he cant. soo i dunno
ryan came over tho which was good cuz it seemed like i hadnt seen him in months but it was only a week and he was being really sweet.
but earlier that day he kept getting me really upset he wasnt being very nice and i started to cry
but im gonna go dry my hair and such
<3
That would be for me
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izntlifesojuicy
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2005 25 August :: 7.08pm
:: Music: Bruised by Jack's Mannequin
i just dont knoe
things havent been going so great lately
ryans birthday was last saturday,
we didnt do anything cuz his phone has been cut off for a week now.
he came to my house at 8:30 that night when i was gone at a movie with kristie so when me and kristie came to my house we went to ryans for a little while. and i felt bad that he didnt have a birthday but its not my fault cuz he told me i couldnt see him that day
then monday i gave him his present he walked over to my house.
but he did take it back with him he didnt want his mom to see it and ask how he got it i guess
but he kinda just laughed when he opened it
and then that whole thing with glory's myspace totally pissed me off cuz he left comments on all his pictures saying stuff like "you're so beautiful do you ever get tired of people tell you that?" and it just really hurt my feelings cuz he doesnt leave comments like that on mine and last time he did was like back in like april and i dont even have those pictures up anymore
but he thought i was being silly
and i dont knoe we dont get to talk anymore cuz his phone is cut off and it just so happens hes been online yesterday and todai
but even then we didnt rly talk much
and kristie said he didnt treat me like a priority and he takes me for granted
and josh was like "hes needs to get it together"
and everyone else tells me i dont need that and that i could do better
but its just the little stuff he does that gets to me
and yeah
i havent had a good last couple days
or week
but hmm yeah havent had time to update much
<3
That would be for me
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izntlifesojuicy
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2005 23 August :: 7.29pm
:: Music: Stars by Switchfoot
lyrics
Maybe I've been the problem
Maybe I'm the one to blame
But even when I turn it off and blame myself
The outcome feels the same
I've been thinking maybe I've been partly cloudy
Maybe I'm the chance of rain
And maybe I'm overcast
And maybe all my luck's washed down the drain
I've been thinking 'bout everyone,
Everyone you looks so lonely
But when I look at the stars
When I look at the stars
When I look at the stars, I see someone else
When I look at the stars
The stars, I feel like myself
Stars looking at a planet
Watching entropy and pain
And maybe to start to wonder
How the chaos in our lives could pass as sane
I've been thinking 'bout the meaning of resistance
Of a hope beyond my own
And suddenly the infinite and penitent
Begin to look like home
I've been thinking about everyone
Everyone you looks so empty
But when I look at the stars
When I look at the stars
When I look at the stars, I see someone else
When I look at the stars
The stars, I feel like myself.
Yeah!
Everyone, Everyone feels so lonely
Everyone, yeah everyone feels so empty
When I look at the stars
When I look at the stars
When I look at the stars, I feel like myself
When I look at the stars
The stars, I see someone...
That would be for me
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izntlifesojuicy
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2005 23 August :: 5.14pm
ugh
things suck
That would be for me
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izntlifesojuicy
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2005 22 August :: 11.02pm
:: Music: You Were Meant For Me by Jewel
lyrics... i heard this song todai for the first time in awhile
I hear the clock, it's six a.m.
I feel so far from where I've been
I got my eggs and my pancakes too
I got my maple syrup, everything but you.
I break the yolks, make a smiley face
I kinda like it in my brand new place
I wipe the spots off the mirror
Don't leave the keys in the door
Never put wet towels on the floor anymore' cause
Dreams last for so long
even after you're gone
I know you love me
And soon you will see
You were meant for me
And I was meant for you.
I called my momma, she was out for a walk
Consoled a cup of coffee but it didn't wanna talk
So I picked up a paper, it was more bad news
More hearts being broken or people being used
Put on my coat in the pouring rain
I saw a movie it just wasn't the same
'Cause it was happy and I was sad
It made me miss you oh so bad 'cause
Dreams last for so long
Even after you're gone
I know you love me
And soon you will see
You were meant for me
And I was meant for you.
I go about my business, I'm doin fine
Besides what would I say if I had you on the line
Same old story, not much to say
Hearts are broken, everyday.
I brush my teeth and put the cap back on
I know you hate it when I leave the light on
I pick a book up. Turn the sheets down.
Take a deep breath and a good look around
Put on my pjs and hop into bed
I'm half alive but I feel mostly dead
I try and tell myself it'll be all right
I just shouldn't think anymore tonight 'cause
Dreams last for so long
Even after you're gone
I know you love me
And soon I know you will see
You were meant for me
And I was meant for you
That would be for me
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izntlifesojuicy
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2005 14 August :: 10.14pm
:: Music: Colors by Crossfade
~LuCkY fOuRtEeN~
todai was me and ryans 1 year and 10 month anniversary
he came over
and we watched hide and seek
scarrryy
and then we took pictures
and he did a room raiders in my room
and my mom was rly mean
she asked why i screamed in the movie and i told her about the cat drowning and how the little girl supposedly killed the cat
and my mom goes "oh you mean just like you killed your hamster"
and i got so hurt i slapped her and ran to my room crying
like bawling
and ryan didnt knoe what to do cuz i slammed the door but like 5 minutes later he came in my room to comfort me but it hurt my feelins so bad.
and yeah shes such a bitch
oh and ajs comment? what the...
im out
<3
That would be for me
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izntlifesojuicy
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2005 13 August :: 2.25am
:: Music: I Caught Fire by The Used
lyrics... havent listened to this song in awhile
Seemed to stop my breath
My head on your chest
Waiting to cave in
From the bottom of my...
Hear your voice again
Could we dim the sun
And wonder where we've been
Maybe you and me
So kiss me like you did
My heart stopped beating
Such a softer sin
(I'm melting, I'm melting)
In your eyes
I lost my place
Could stay a while
And I'm melting
In your eyes
Like my first time
That I caught fire
Just stay with me
Lay with me
Now
Never caught my breath
Every second I'm without you I'm a mess
Ever know each other
Trust these words are stones
why cuts aren't healing
Learning how to love
I'm melting (I'm melting)
In your eyes
I lost my place
Could stay a while
And I'm melting
In your eyes
Like my first time
That I caught fire
Just stay with me
Lay with me
(Stay with me lay with me now)
You could stay and watch me fall
And of course I'll ask for help
Just stay with me now
Take my hand
We could take our pants off
stay in bed just make love that's all
Just stay with me now
In your eyes
Let's sleep till the sun burns out
I'm melting in your eyes (I'm melting in your eyes)
Let's sleep till the sun burns out
I'm melting in your eyes
That would be for me
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izntlifesojuicy
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2005 12 August :: 9.26pm
:: Music: Attack by 30 Seconds to Mars
i dunno..
i just dont knoeeeee
this whole first week of school thing sucks
and i still need o read 500 pages or more pages worth of books before my test of tuesday and i am freaking out
it seems like me and ryan never talk for more than like 20-30 minutes a day or at a time
mimi is talking to this guy she never met
and theyve been talking for a week and a half
and he tells her he loves her
and it all seems really sketchy but
she really likes him and says they have no much in common and are so much alike
but i dunno if i like it
and
i still need to make ryan's birthday present before next saturday
because his 17th birthday is on the 20th
oh my
well im gonna blast
That would be for me
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izntlifesojuicy
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2005 10 August :: 12.05am
:: Mood: contemplative
:: Music: Golden Touch by Razorlight
"its like ..
if i let go ill stop hurting but i dont want to i really really dont want to"
That would be for me
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izntlifesojuicy
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2005 9 August :: 11.51pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: Over My Head by The Fray
cant sleep
That would be for me
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