izntlifesojuicy
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2005 20 July :: 4.25pm
wow
its
a
whole
new
world
hahaha ryannn....
That would be for me
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izntlifesojuicy
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2005 20 July :: 1.36pm
:: Mood: i dunno
:: Music: You And Me by Lifehouse
every time i say
i love you
i hope for you
to say it back
but
every time i say
i love you
i end up not getting
what i hoped for
and instead its
my heart
sinking
That would be for me
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izntlifesojuicy
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2005 20 July :: 12.26am
:: Music: Best of You by Foo Fighters
i've got another confession to make
i'm no fool
That would be for me
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izntlifesojuicy
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2005 19 July :: 10.52pm
:: Music: A Decade Under The Influence by Taking Back Sunday
to hell with you and all your friends
That would be for me
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izntlifesojuicy
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2005 19 July :: 10.00pm
:: Mood: sick
:: Music: Cool by Gwen Stefani
yeah welllllll
ryan told me today that i cant see him till after august 2nd.... and my heart just sank. he cant see me until he gets all of his community service hours completed... and that wont be till after august 2nd... so yeah that rly sux but hopefully i'll be ok.
today me and ryan were supposed to go to the beach but then his mom said he couldnt see me till he finished it and yeah i was rly disappointed cuz i was rly looking forward to going to the beach with him.. but yeahhhh
so then aj asked if i wanted to go to walmart with him and logan and we went to walmart and then the mall and then to target. i saw aj boorde at the mall.. his hair looked funnie lol but yeahhhhhh i miss him coming over all the time. n e hoo it was sweet. i had fun and then we went to ajs and ate and then logan took me home at like nineeeee.
yeah i called ryan when i got home and he didnt rly talk and i knew something was bothering him.. or maybe it wasnt tho i just had a feeling and i could hear it in his voice. when he called me at ajs i asked him if anything was bothering him and he said no and i asked again and hes like "the only thing that is bothering me is you keep asking me if anything is bothering me" and it kinda felt like he was going off on me but i duunno.
and then last night he said somthing that kinda hurt my feelings..
but ok
whatev
That would be for me
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izntlifesojuicy
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2005 18 July :: 3.51pm
:: Music: Attack by 30 Seconds to Mars
lyrics
I won't suffer, be broken, get tired, or wasted
Surrender to nothing, I'll give up what I
Started and stop this, from end to beginning
A new day is calling, and I am finalizing
Fight!
Run away, run away, I'll attack
Run away, run away, go chase yourself
Run away, run away, now I'll attack
I'll attack,
I would have kept you, forever, what we had to server
It ended for both of us, faster than a
Kill off this thinking, it's starting to sink in
I'm losing control now, and without you I can finally see
Fight!
Run away, run away, I'll attack
Run away, run away, go chase yourself
Run away, run away, now I'll attack
I'll attack,
Your promises, they look like lies
Your honesty, like a back that hides a knife
I promise you
I promise you
And I am finally free
Run away, run away, I'll attack
Run away, run away, go chase yourself
Run away, run away, now I'll attack
I'll attack, I'll attack, I will attack
Run away, I'll attack, I will attack
Run away, I'll attack, I will attack
Run away, I'll attack, I will attack
Run away, I'll attack, I'll attack,
Your promises
(promises, promises)
I promise you
That would be for me
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izntlifesojuicy
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2005 18 July :: 3.17pm
they said it seemed like
i
was the
best thing
that he had
and then i
asked myself
if he thought
the
same
thing.
That would be for me
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izntlifesojuicy
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2005 18 July :: 2.30pm
:: Music: Grand Theft Autunm (Where Is Your Boy) by Fall Out Boy
where is your boy tonight.
i hope he is a gentleman.
maybe he won't find out what I know...
you were the last good thing about this part of town.
have that song stuck my head for the past 2365934629 days
and i dont even knoe why
That would be for me
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izntlifesojuicy
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2005 18 July :: 1.42pm
:: Mood: calm
:: Music: Attack by 30 Seconds to Mars
soooo
yesterday i woke up freakin early dude at like 5:00 to go to orlando at six but i rly didnt leave till about almost seven.... but thats school. it was me, ryan , his mom and two of her friends and the whole day all i heard rly was spanish that i could barely understand. but it was sweet. his mom wanted to go to a church there and i thought the 2nd service was never going to end... and then the pastor was picking on me.. lol so i had a couple people come up to me and ask me stuff.... but yeah then we went to eat and then after we ate we headed back to the 904. and i slept most of the way home and when i wasnt sleeping i was rockin out to music on ryans psp. i musta listen to spread like a bajillion times. then when we got back i went over to his house and watched diary of a mad black woman with his mom... he didnt rly stay there and watch it with us for the most part he was in his room on his xbox. but yeah the movie was rly good and it was funnie. by the end of the movie i was cryinggg. so then we went to the store to get ice cream but then i decided i didnt want any anymore so we just got some for his mom and then when we got back my mom called and was bitchin cuz i was with ryan the whole day and she "doesnt like it" or doesnt think its "appropriate" ... but whatev. but i had a lot of fun just hanging out with him. when i got home at like 10 i didnt do much talked to aj for a little bit but something wasnt right with him and he wouldnt tell me so he got off the phone and then i went to bed cuz i was rly tired but i still wanted to talk to somebody so i called mimi and we talked for a bit and we were laughing about not being able to remember the harry potter books names so we were gpoing crazy trying to figure it out cuz it was gonna bug us. but then we were both tired and we went to bed and then ryan called at like 11:30 but i was asleep still and i answered but i dont remember what i said.. and then aj texted me but i fell asleep again after i responded onceee
and then todai i watched assault at precinct 13 or whatever it was pretty good. jarrod dropped it off yesterday on his way to emilys while i was at ryans.
and now im bored.
and i cant wait till kristie comes back from orlando i rly rly rly miss herrrrr.
and now im gonna go eat some moose tracks
peace.
That would be for me
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izntlifesojuicy
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2005 16 July :: 11.50am
:: Mood: bored out of my eyeballs
:: Music: Portions for Foxes by Rilo Kiley
thinking too much suxxx...
n e ways.... so i was like grounded and all i did yesterday was fight with my mom and ryan called me cell phone yesterday but then i didnt here it ring and i didnt knoe where he was calling from so i didnt call back... and yeah he never called back. except for this morning he called at 10 and then hung up when i answered and then i called him back and hes all "i'll call you back later bye" sooooo i dont think he was the one who calllledd so early in da mornin.
i totally couldnt sleep last night i donnt knoe why but i woke up at like 5 something and then couldnt get back to bed like like 8 and i got outta bed at 10. but yeah
im rly bored and im not grounded anymore thanx to my drastic ways hahaha. but hey it worked and im off grounding cept i have to clean the house to day and read.. ahhhhh im like on the 4th page of huckelberry finn and its sooo gayyy. and i still got the good earth and the awakening to read. hoo picks these gay ass books anyway? i think they need to replace this person. asappp
but yeah ryan should be getting back tonight from georgia so hopefully he'l lcall cuz i wanna talk to him. and arthur gets back tomorrow from north carolina.. i think.. but yeahh hoo else is away hmm nobody rly k well im out
<3
That would be for me
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izntlifesojuicy
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2005 15 July :: 4.33pm
I never meant to cause you trouble,
And I never meant to do you wrong,
And I, well if I ever caused you trouble,
O no, I never meant to do you harm.
-- coldplay
That would be for me
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izntlifesojuicy
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2005 15 July :: 3.41pm
:: Music: Question! by System of a Down
ryan finally called me on wednesday. after 11 days. i was going insane but yeah its quite a story. hes out of town now... in georgia blah. he gets back tomorrow. oh yeah and yesterday was our 1 year and 9 months. we saw a movie... and uh yeah.. n e ways his mom called me cuz he didnt tell her he was going out.. right when they were doing good too. i told her tho bcuz i was too scared to lie to her... she said she wouldnt tell ryan who told her but i think hell know its me n e way so i hope he doesnt get mad at me.
im grounded... over stupid shit it dont even make n e sense to me. its about dance... the one thing i hate. i wanna go to terry parker soo baddddd. but i dunno.
im gonna go tho
<3
That would be for me
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izntlifesojuicy
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2005 15 July :: 3.09pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: Right Here by Staind
lyrics
I know I've been mistaken
But just give me a break and see the changes that I've made
I've got some imperfections
But how can you collect them all and throw them in my face
But you always find a way to keep me right here waiting
You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting
And if you chose to walk away I'd still be right here waiting
Searching for the things to say to keep you right here waiting
I hope you're not intending
To be so condescending it's as much as i can take
and you're so independent
you just refuse to bend so I keep bending till I break
But you always find a way to keep me right here waiting
You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting
And if you chose to walk away I'd still be right here waiting
Searching for the things to say to keep you right here waiting
I've made a commitment
I'm willing to bleed for you
I needed fulfillment
I found what I need in you
Why can't you just forgive me
I don't want to relive all the mistakes I've made along the way
But I always find a way to keep you right here waiting
I always find the words to say to keep you right here waiting
But you always find a way
To keep me right here waiting
You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting
And if I chose to walk away would you be right here waiting
Searching for the things to say to keep me right here waiting
That would be for me
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izntlifesojuicy
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2005 15 July :: 12.50pm
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: Cold Hands (Warm Heart) by Brendon Benson
i wish i fixed it all
before it even started..
That would be for me
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izntlifesojuicy
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2005 8 July :: 3.32pm
:: Mood: lonely
:: Music: Miserable by Lit
yeah so i still havent talked to ryan yet its been 6 days...
and now i'm starting to really worry cuz its been so long and ive been having these dreams of all the possible reasons why i havent heard from him. my mom said maybe there was a family emergency and they just had to pick up and leave and drive to new york. butttt.... i have a feeling.. well this is what i want to believe that his mom just decided to go out of town for a week or so cuz her birthday was a few days ago. thats what would make the most sense to me. but it just bothers me that he hasnt called me to let me know hes okkk... so yeah
i think ima go watch tv i've been cleaning all day because my moms best friend is coming to stay with us because she lives in the keys and the hurricane might hit there but i dunno. yeah..
<3
That would be for me
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