~Easter~

~My Dad's Birthday~

well todai sucked. i woke up way too early... at 8... and then we left late... and well i wuz absolutely bored. we went to eat at carmichaels in ocala... it was me, my bro, my dad, my mom, my dads aunt and uncle, my aunt mary, my uncle ron and my g-ma. i was so bored... but i had a coke.. aahhhh. for the first time in 40 days.. it was so good lol. i didnt even order diet. just good ole sugary coke. in fact practically all i ate today was good ole carbs and sugar. delicious. ryan called rite b4 my salad came.. it wuz gross btw.. but me and him didnt rly talk much i dont knoe it was weird. so evryone else was still eating and conversating and i hate it when people talk about me like im not there when i am.. its annoying. they were making comments about being a teenager blahblahblah and cooing over me... saying i should be a model. yeah rite. and my dads aunt... my great aunt debbie, she used to be this fabulous hardcore principal ballerina and every friggin time i see her she asks me about dance. of course i lie and say its great i dont rly have the courage to say i absolutely hate it and i wish i didnt have to it anymore. but yeah i couldnt sit in that chair n e longer my back wuz hurting rly bad and so i got the keys and went to lay down in the car with the stereo real loud listening to sum41 and i started crying.. i dont even knoe if ultimately there wuz a reason. but great aunt and uncle went home back to their ranch in bell. theyre real big horse people and my great aunt does dressage and all that. i felt kinda bad cuz i barely talked to them cept for greetings and goodbyes. i barely get to see them and theyre so nice. o well. n e hoo my aunt mary and uncle ron and my family went back to my g-mas house for cake cuz it wuz my dads b-day n all. but i had cake and then went into the other room i didnt feel like making conversation i wanted to be alone. so i wuz watching ashlee simpson and doing make up work for geometry and i started crying again for no reason. i ono. my aunt and uncle left soon after, and then we didnt leave till ba lil b4 6. ryan called me again but i dont knoe he seemed rly irritated with me... so i just said i would talk to him later. it didnt seem like he wanted to talk to me he sounded annoyed. but i asked him if he was ok and he said yeah so i ono. so i hung up with him and then i just started thinking... a million thoughts were going throo my head like 100 mph.. and it was cool until they put on sum freaky tribal african music and it was so annoying. so i asked if they could change it.. but i they didnt they just turned it up and turned the dashboard and steering whelel into drums and i kept asking them to stop but they kept going louder so i freaked out and started crying.. yet again. not like little tears comin down ur face im talking bout crying ur eyes out water works kind of crying and i dont even knoe y i freaked out like that. but it got em to stop lol. i wuz miserable for the rest of the ride home. like an hour left.

i called ryan back a bit after i got home he was out with his mom at starbucks... his mom wants me to start going back to church again like i used to every sunday and jonet would pick me up and then sumtimes i would hang out with ryan afterwards.. but n e hoo she said it would be nice to see me again its been like a month and a half since shes seen me. but i dont think my mom will let me go n e more and i dont knoe. it would be cool tho.. it was fun and me and jonet were rlyrly close when i went every sunday. we still r rly close tho.
but n e hoo me and ryan didnt talk for long. it was ok.

im gonna go tho im so tired.


**QuOtE oF tHe DaY**

"Think before you make up your mind
You don't seem to realize
I can do this on my own
And if I fall I'll take it all
It's so easy after all

Believe me 'cause now's the time to try
Don't wait, the chance will pass you by
Time's up to figure it out
You can't say it's too late"
--Sum41

That would be for me