my back hurts
my back hurts. im at the library. i dont have any money. i lost a book at my dads office(i think someone took it cuz i left it in his waiting room) so now i gotta pay 18 bucs for it. sonuvabitch.
it has been quite a while since ive posted anything here. nothing worth writing about.
im lonely.
where are all my friends?

oh so great?
i went to taco bell tonight. i saw eric "dumbass" hough. i made a fool out of myself. no! he made a fool out of me. i fucking hate that guy.

>.<
hahaha... im an idiot. my last post cut out an entire sentence because i accidentally put a "?" instead of a ">". i am stupid.

gutting my room like a pig
hey does anyone know if Memoirs of a Geisha is out yet? i dunno I ALREADY OWN IT ON DVD!!! i also own The Ringer, Shopgirl, Corpse Bride, Wedding Crashers, Lost Season Two, The Weatherman, Lords of Dogtown, and a whole bunch more. I was gonna buy King Kong, but i forgot, there were too many DVDs i had to get. hot damn the philly philly pines is great! Sooo if anyone wants to come over and watch movies, then do so. And yes, i was definitely bragging back there.

hahaha if anyone wants to know the ending of lost....

its a missile girl
hey so tonight i went to a show in g-ville. well part of one i guess. ashley invited me cuz vincent valentine is playing/has played/is going to play. they might be playing right this minute but i guess i wouldnt know, would i, since im not there anymore. :/ i got there at 445 and it started like 5 or 10 minutes to 6 and i had to leave at 615 since my mom was my only ride and she has to be in tampa at 930. only got to see one band play they were good. fading sound or something. the monistats, bth,the ups, and the whiskey dicks were supposed to play. when i was there they were saying whiskey dicks werent gonna show. um...took a few pics. now i just need to take 23 more to finish the film and get it developed heh. they were like "tonight's show is in 3-d" so i wore 3-d glasses the entire time and im still wearing them like the loser i am but i guess thats me, eh. oh also, a guy in a fedora complimented my trilby lol. probably the first person who didnt make fun of me by singing/dancing michael jackson haha.

i guess ill go to the flea market tomorrow. maybe drop by sally's. if anyone reads this, gimme a call im lonely. 352.854.8633. kbye.

but i had to kill her
brett and mi padre are in vancouver now. they left yesterday afternoon. after they left, my mom took us to get our hair cut. im growing my hair out, so i just got it trimmed and that is why it doesnt look any different than before. my mom was still getting her hair cut, so laurie and i ran over to books a million to visit ashley. so we went in there and just kept lookin around, and i was like "maybe he gets off at 7" it was maybe 710 by then and we had seen him through the window 20 minutes earlier. i dunno what the point of that part of the story was because we found him anyways, so forget the stuff i just said. we hung around and ended up talking for like a half hour. that was really fun cuz i dont get to see my friends very often. well im going to gainesville now. laurie has to take the violas back to jan's and i gotta get some cds at the record store so adios muchachos.

ps. our living room is now being painted green! i must say i like it.

the tired oi
when i chose 7seconds as my topic, i wasnt expecting to write a whole damn thesis on punk culture and history. oh well....

take this ball and chain
"There was no difference between a saint and a sinner in the skin, in the flesh. It all came from the sweet blood inside. It all came from the tender truth hidden deep inside. The difference between the two was a thin, wavering gentle line. It might change in the heart with each lulling beat. It might change the soft time it takes to breathe... Maybe it's not a thing that is easy to see or feel. Maybe it isn't exactly clean how your heart beats, good or evil, dishonest or sweet, until it's your time all alone in the dark, listening to the quiet whisper of your own lonely heart, the empty thump of your own fears shivering like an ol' kettle drum, bent and rusted and warped all wrong, or the distant murmur of all your hope, the lonely lullaby of a hula girl's song."

That's the ending of a book I just finished. I liked it a lot. I read that part maybe six times then decided to post it here. I hope you like it too.

jdsk;f
hey im back from camping. i got back yesterday afternoon. i went w/the pathfinders. its almost but not completely unlike boyscouts but co-ed. it was crasee. nights went down to the 20s. heres something nice imagine trying to sleep in 20 degree weather in an almost nonthermal sleeping bag that if you move from your warm spot for 2 seconds and go back, its already frozen. yes well we were there for 4 days. the last night we got smart. we all put our bags in the one tent and made it the dressing room. then we opened all our sleeping bags in the other tent and everyone slept together. i actually slept that night heh.
on friday we had to wake up at 530, on saturday we had inspection and had to wake up at 6, and on sunday we slept in until 730 which was nice. i didnt even sleep on thursday.
inspection was....i dunno. we did bad. we had to do formations and whatnot. that part was pretty good. site inspection was alright. personal inspection...omg haha. youre supposed to wear black boots and black socks, right, well i was wearing leopard converse and pink socks w/hearts lmao.
i think we made a few honors. i didnt make archery. um omg this one company, NWC, they were show-offs and took everything way too seriously. they were doing drills and stuff like constantly or they never stopped i dont know which one. the drumline was pretty good. that never stopped either lol.

hey listen to this. this lady hung herself in her yard and no one reported it because they thought it was a halloween decoration.
The apparent suicide of a woman found hanging from a tree went unreported for hours because passers-by thought the body was a Halloween decoration, authorities said.
The 42-year-old woman used rope to hang herself across the street from some homes on a moderately busy road late Tuesday or early Wednesday, state police said.
The body, suspended about 15 feet above the ground, could be easily seen from passing vehicles.
State police spokesman Cpl. Jeff Oldham and neighbors said people noticed the body at breakfast time Wednesday but dismissed it as a holiday prank. Authorities were called to the scene more than three hours later.
"They thought it was a Halloween decoration," Fay Glanden, wife of Mayor William Glanden, told The (Wilmington) News Journal.
"It looked like something somebody would have rigged up," she said.

whoawhoa
I'm back! Toronto was rad. I went to the Toronto Zoo. I'd never been to a zoo before, so that was cool. That place was really big and it got annoying after a while lol. There's something you should know about Niagra Falls. It's way better in person. I heard we were going to see it, and I wasn't very excited. I was like "Eh, seen it a million times on TV and postcards." We got there and I was like "Holy Poop." Rode the Maid of the Mist. haha. Oh! It was really cool our hotel was connected to the mall. Their mall is huge, man. Like, I dunno, SIX floors!
Hahaha we were at the Toronto airport, and there was this yuppie getting his shoes shined! Oh, about that. The Tornonto airport's shoe shining stand actually has people working there. And holy shyt dude I swear to god these are the exact words that came out of his fucking mouth while he was talking on the phone: "....Yes, did you tell Consuelo to clean the pool and have the wine cabinet refilled? We're having guests over..." lmaolmao!
The only worst part about the trip is that I left my dad's fucking BRAND NEW RAZOR phone in the bathroom and he never got it back. There. I'm done talking about it.

I'm supposed to be packing. I'm going camping from today(Thursday) until Sunday. I still have no idea who I'm getting a ride with.
Byebye.

Wanna know how to make a peach crumble?

Kick it in the groins!!!!

UGH
OH POOP. vincent valentine and the know how are playing at the KnK on the 28th and i wont be able to go because im going camping. and even if i wasnt going camping i wouldnt be able to go because of gay friday nights. ugh.

damned is how i spell it
Hello. I saw GE at les mall yesterday. Or it could've been the day before. Who knows. I never can tell what day it is. He waved at me and sayed Hullo and it was quite special. He is still teh zecks.

youre afraid to stick out your head and say "ok, life's a fact"
I heard somewhere that sometimes life is perfect. It has to be, to make up for all the bad times. Well I think with me, that concept has been reversed. Up until this summer, my life was perfect. Then, everything that could possibly go wrong, did. I don't think misfortune missed a single opportunity. Yesterday, I was just thinking Maybe this is it, maybe nothing bad will ever happen again. This could be the one to end all trouble. Then it happened. I found a tumor on Lars. Lars is my baby. He just turned 9 months old a couple days ago. I'm taking him to the doctor today I think. My dad said he would as soon as possible, but he has to work. And I don't know what to do. It wasn't there on Sunday. What if it keeps getting bigger? I talked to this guy one time. He had a rat that grew a tumor, and it kept growing until it was the size of a baseball. Then it fell off and he died. If the doctor says there's nothing they can do, I'm not bringing him home, because I don't want to watch him die. I never want to see anything or anyone die ever again. I've seen it too many times.

just smile and take the picture
i'm supposed to be doing my school work, but i havent written in here in a while, so i decided ill do that instead. ill write anything that comes to mind, because there's nothing to tell about what ive been up to lately. so...my mom is on her way to the airport to pick up the president of mountain view college because hes here to visit. i think she's known him since they were kids or something like that. its amazing how my mom still keeps in touch with like everyone she knew. im not like that. if i havent talked to someone in a few months, i just say "k, thats it" and never bother with it again. i had to clean the house yesterday. i had a bird cage and two rat cages to clean. that took about 3 hours in the hot sun and now i have a tan line. the guy is staying in my room for the next couple of days, and ill be in laurie's room. i did a really good job of moving my stuff into her room, but now her room is a huge mess. i guess ill have to work on that next. i traded brett my black box shelves for two 50-inch posters. pretty good deal. just that i dont have enough wall for them. lol. my room was originally an office. all i have space for is my queensize bed, my armaur, and my desk. the places on the walls are covered by: my dads diploma, a bulletin board, an extra large hed(pe) shirt, some band stickers, and a WWII cloth poster. after cleaning, i went to the flea market to get my bird's wings and nails clipped. i think ill move her out of the garage into my room on thursday. teach her a few new words. i really need to do my work now.

say youve got the cure
i saw the exorcism of emily rose last night. it was pretty good. there wasnt alot of the exorcism, but it had a better point than the exorcist(the original one from the 70s).
so last night i had to go to some party in g-ville. my dinner consisted of banana lumpia, ice cream, baclava, and cake. healthy, eh? after that we went to the cinny. perfect timing because the movie started at 950. we got out at 1215 then drove home. we stopped at waffle house at like 1. i love my saturday nights(wee sunday morn hours) at waffle houses. we got home at 208 and i was in bed by 215 becuase i wanted to fall asleep before 3 tehe.

i miss everyone
all my friends are busy and no one has time for me anymore. even alex. right now im talking to him online, and i can still tell hes not paying attention to me because he's thinking about Gina. and hes the one whos never left me. ugh i feel so lonely and unloved.

nothing inside
i had 3 wierd dreams w/GE in them. the first was about 2 weeks ago. we were at an orchestra practice. it was outside, like on the old fhs baseball field, and he was playin his bass. he wouldnt stop staring at me. then after practice, i dont know where everyone went, or where my violin went, but my sister and i were sitting on this mat or like picnic blanket. charlotte and virgil were there too. walking behind GE, and he came up to me and said hi and that he had to bring them. virgil was wearing one of those little child leashes and charlotte was holding it. then our picnic blanket was right next to this chain-link fence and behind the fence was warped tour and charlotte and virgil entered and sat down to watch thrice. the thing about the 'bands' that were performing was that they werent the bands at all. someone announced that they were, but they were like choirs or something. so me, laurie, and GE walked away. it looked like we were walking on the back road by 85th where theyre building retirement homes. so we kept walking in the neighborhood and we got to a cul de sac. there was this little spanish-looking house with a fountain in front of it. somehow we ended up jumping in it. it got really cold out and we started walking back to warped tour. aaron doperalski showed up out of nowhere and him and laurie started going somewhere else. GE and i kept walking. we finally got to warped tour and from first to last was next on the lineup. we sat in the back. there was a wall and we sat against it. i was shivering and he gave me his jacket and held me.

the next dream was on sunday night. Em-Jay and i were at the gainesville mall. i was holding his arm. we went into radio shack. it was across from the pretzel place(which it isnt in real life). no one was working there. so we waited at the counter. this uptight businness man was standing behind us. after a while he said "why the hell isnt anyone working in this dump?" and my brother ryan walked in from the pretzel place. he was wearing a red shirt and had thick-rimmed glasses. that part of the dream ended right there. all of a sudden i was at a public school. it was supposed to be west port i think. most of this part of the dream was waiting in lines. bus lines, before- and after-class lines, lunch lines... different times i saw GE it was supposed to be different days waiting before and after school. we had this game, whoever could find the other person first won. so then, i dunno what happen, but him and i and my whole family ended up on a cruise. we were older. i was 24 and he was 27. i was wearing my favorite fancy white strapless dress. and my black reefs i think. lol. he was wearing a tux(he looks sexy in tuxes btw lol). we started dancing to some classical music on the deck of the cruise. it was night time, lots of stars, and ambient lighting.it was really romantic. pretty soon it was 7 in the morning. we had danced all night. i remember falling asleep on his shoulder. my dad came out and told us to come inside because my mom was getting mad or something. he went to his room, i went to mine with my parents. my mom was dressing in the bathroom. she came out. she was beautiful. wearing an expensive dress and a pearl necklace. she looked similar to audrey hepburn(an asian version of course). i went to sleep in my dream. when i woke up, i had to get ready for my wedding. i was marrying GE. we got to shore and we were on a field i think. i remember flowers. then my mom woke me up in real life. that always happens at the best part.

the most recent dream was last night. its pretty short since i dont remember very many details. i was on the computer. i IMed GE, and he asked if i could send him a pic since he hasnt seen me in over a year. i sent him the pic of me and mary playing foozball. i guess he liked it because he asked me on a 'date'. there was a movie playing at the library and he invited me to it. then my mom told me we had to go somewhere. i didnt tell her about my date with GE. it turned out we were going to the library anyways. i called him in the car and told him id be there. he wasnt there when i got there, and then i had to leave. me, my mom, and my sister ended up driving to this castle-type place. there were alot of tourists there. there was a marble slab creamery. my mom told us she was gonna get us some ice cream. when she got back, she gave me mine, and it wasnt the kind i like. it was like blueberry with nuts or something. there was one scoop in a cup. it melted even before i got to eat it and i hated it. next in the dream, i was in the castle. all the other people(tourists) were eating their ice cream outside. i was in the tower lookin down at them, thinkin how i let GE down. all of a sudden batman was there. but it was GE haha. then he asked me to live in the castle with him, and be his bride lol. i think that was the end of the dream.

if dreams have significance, please explain it to me

mind like a diamond
computer applications has got to be the worse class ever. its not even an elective. i didnt choose it. im here working on code, right, and i get there and theyre like "ok, now click on the button the says 'start'." and they go through 'general' and crap to get to microsoft word when its already pinned to start. they must think im a retard or sumthing. theyre like "to get to a web site, type in the URL. a URL is the blah blah blah..." and then theyre like "and to print a page, take ur mouse and click and drag so its highlighted....."
im not in 1st grade....