the sun shines but i don't

Here are some videos also.

:: 2007 11 February :: 11.25pm

3 ..... | ....

:: 2007 11 February :: 11.03pm

I am slowly getting pictures up. I remembered that I have a flikr account.

I am getting tired of naming them. Here they are. I am going to bed soon so I am stopping for the night.

:: 2007 11 February :: 9.49pm
:: Music: Take Your Medicine by Cloud Cult

You can take it in stride or you can take in right between your eyes
Cloud Cult released a new album! First priority (after chili dogs, cheesecakes and mad makeouts with Nick) once I get back. I hope not all that stuff happens on the same day because I am getting bloaty just thinking about it. Gross.

Anyway, you can stream some songs off their website so that is what I am doing to distract myself from my 8 o'clock class tomorrow (which requires me to get up at 6 and catch the bus at 7:03).

:: 2007 11 February :: 9.24pm

I went to two bars on Friday and a mod concert yesterday. Yes, I am still not drinking. Europe and the legal ability to drink won't change that.

I have been here just over two weeks and people are right, three weeks is the charm.

I am to get my first France period this week. I know you didn't need to know that but it is just one of the many things upsetting me. I would be so happy without this women thing. I think I am going to be constantly pregnant once I am married. Good plan.

I had couscous for the first time today. It was delicious but it is messing with my organs. That might be the impending woman doom though. The food here is beyond good. I will never be able to eat pudding cups or American desserts again.

I am going to eat a chili dog the second I get off that plane. Oh and a cinnabon. I am not going to be able to live this long without a chili dog. mmm Chicago style chili dog... Oh I also miss cheesecake and cake.

France is the best place ever but it can never be perfect without you. Everything is so beautiful but I can't enjoy it knowing you aren't and can't see what I see.

:: 2007 10 February :: 11.28am

We have a break not this coming up week but the next. Laura, Bekka and I are going to go to London then Amsterdam for a few days then back to spend the rest of the week in London.

Everyone is all 'it is cold in London blah blah' but it is not like we don't come from Michigan or anything.

Anyway, that will be fun. English and all.

6 ..... | ....

:: 2007 7 February :: 8.05pm

A guy drove by in a nice car with his windows down blasting Ohne Dich while I was waiting for the bus to go home.

It made me think of Katie which made me miss her which made me sad which made me want to go home.

In other news, classes are easy so far. Too easy.

And France, at least where I am, is the best place in the world.

Oh and Nick can't come visit so I am depressed. And I want to go home.

now you have to watch what clothes you wear

:: 2007 7 February :: 10.37am

5 ..... | ....

:: 2007 5 February :: 9.50pm

Today was my first day of school in France. So far it is waaaaaaaay easy. But I only had two classes. One, technically since it was the same prof but... they are still two different classes.

I live in the burbs and with class starting at 8, I woke up at 6 to catch the bus at 7. We had class from 8-12 then nothing so we went all over. I didn't buy any clothes today which is a good thing. I did buy a 5 euro crepe though. It was so good.

Anyway, every day is 100 percent better like I said but one thing can bring the whole day down. Today sort of crashed and burned. I am pretty sad now but I know tomorrow is another day and I am not going to die or anything.

Unless I die of a broken heart.

Or a plane crash.

Have fun in the snow, suckahs!

and one must ask: is there such a thing as true ethnicity?

:: 2007 5 February :: 2.10pm

:: 2007 3 February :: 4.38pm

I miss you guys but not the snow and home. Ha ha. The main street in Perpignan has palm trees.

I miss squirrels.

Loves.

:: 2007 1 February :: 9.46pm

We went to Spain yesterday and came back today.

It was fun. We took a train down to Barcelona and stayed in this nice hostel. We went to a Picasso museum and cute little restaurants and stores.

One of the girls got her purse stolen so we had a nice little police station adventure. This guy sitting next to us helped point us in the direction of the police station and Alis had her stuff stolen before so she knew what to do.

Afterwards, everyone wanted to go out and drink all night. I told everyone I was just going to stay in our room at the hostel since I don't drink anyway. Alis let me call call Nick using her phone card and I cried a lot.

So I went back to my room and read Sense and Sensibility and wrote people postcards. Oh and cried for forever.

Every day is 100 percent better but I am only at about 43 percent now. People said that after about three weeks it would be just fine and I am beginning to believe them.

Anyway, tomorrow we will find out what level of courses we tested into and I have a bunch of stories but right now I am travelling tired so au revoir!

I love you all.

4 ..... | ....

:: 2007 30 January :: 9.49pm

So France is getting better. Especially now that my family said Nick can stay with them if he comes to visit.

They seriously are the best host family ever.

:: 2007 29 January :: 7.00pm

I want to go home.

Not that France is bad, it is awesome, but I want Nick. And home. And my family.

And Nick.

5 ..... | ....

Angel_Bob

:: 2007 28 January :: 12.03am

I am in France. It is scary.

6 ..... | ....

:: 2007 24 January :: 8.51am

3 hours 53 minutes.

I leave today.

(I am scared.)

4 ..... | ....

:: 2007 23 January :: 1.25pm

Today is my last day in the states until June 3.

Tomorrow (January 24) we meet at the airport at 10:45 am.

Our plane leaves at 12:45 pm. We get into Dallas at 2:35 pm and leave at Kelly's favorite time of day pm. We get into London at 7 am (January 25) and leave at 8:40 am. We arrive in Toulouse (FRANCE!) at 11:30 am.

Pichot said we were going to rent a 10 seat bus and drive all over the place.

I'm excited but not enough.

And I miss you already.

I love you all.

P.S. Pray/hope/think for safe flights. I hate/am afraid of flying.

5 ..... | ....

:: 2007 22 January :: 10.43pm

Hope you had a happy birthday, kitten.

:: 2007 21 January :: 4.05am

Well.

I am going to France on Wednesday. In an aeroplane over the sea.

I had a jam packed day today but I can sum it up with just saying that I cried a lot and I already miss people I just saw. Or didn't see because they left for Minnesota and my car is broken so I couldn't see them and they didn't call me like I stalker-ish-ly told them to.

Or something.

:: 2007 19 January :: 10.40pm

I finished all the shopping that I needed to get done.

I just need to finish laundry and finish packing.

Tomorrow we are going out to lunch/dinner for my early birthday/goodbye.

I am almost ready to go.

4 days, 14 hours

P.S. The Office is the best show on earth.

:: 2007 18 January :: 11.45pm

I have never had a phone with a SIM card. How do they work?

4 ..... | ....

:: 2007 18 January :: 11.03pm

I can't find my iPod cord. I'm going to see if my other one will work or just buy a new one tomorrow.

I leave on Wednesday.

I got the cell phone. I don't know the number. It needs charged. It also might need a new battery.

I'm done with work. Tomorrow is last minute chores day. Saturday/Sunday is early birthday celebration day. Monday night is Jane Austin movie marathon night.

I will try to call all of you this weekend. Leave me your e-mail or addresses if you want presents, pictures or fun happy e-mails.

I love you all.

:: 2007 16 January :: 7.06am

I need your addresses.

:: 2007 14 January :: 2.11pm

give me religion and a lobotomy
i am so easily annoyed. i wish i was laid back. i want to be one of those cool, mellow people who can chill and not be affected by things... or who does not take offense to everything under the sun because it may possibly hurt himself or others. i can't take a joke for the life of me... perhaps because inherent in western-style jokes is the degradation or disrespect of an oft stereotyped person or group of people, which only exists for the purpose of the joke, after all. how else can you dehumanize people so killing them is so much easier?

i'm annoyed by what i perceive to be superficiality, when in actuality, it may just be a different way of socializing than i can understand or prefer. maybe some people truly do feel connections to 50 people at a time and can feel comfortable, happy, and complete without being serious or forming deep reciprocal friendships with other people. some, probably even most, people enjoy what i would deem superficial relationships in order to evade the bleak, meaningless existence that we each occupy. an existence like a fly stuck between the glass and screen of a window pane. it is reasonable... quite practical and logical, really, to want to deny such an existence by layering your life with more meaningless things. for, by collecting and surrounding yourself with meaningless things in order to disguise the meaninglessness of your life, the chaotic busy-ness that ensues will thereby create urgency and the illusion that everything is important and therefore meaningful.

:: 2007 13 January :: 5.10pm

taken from this article:

U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said yesterday that those calling for dialogue with Syria and Iran fail to realize that these countries are seeking to undermine stability, and that talks with them are unlikely to yield results.

"stability" is relative, obviously... since a U.S.-israeli controlled middle east is somehow, in rice's opinion, more "stable" than an arab-controlled middle east. as usual, we have forgotten that much of the instability of the region has resulted from the imperialist domination by the US and israel in dividing and conquering arab lands for the past century. obviously, an infantile refusal to talk and cooperate with other nations will yield much better results than working for peace and justice for all people. i mean, look at how well bombs and guns have worked in iraq.

:: 2007 10 January :: 9.52pm

I can't get enough sleep.

I'm not eating (as much as I usually do).

I am stressed to the max.

Two weeks left.

And my car isn't working.

So as much as I want to spend every waking minute at Nick's, I can't. Stupid car.

:: 2007 7 January :: 11.31pm

Hey.

Have a nice day back at school tomorrow.

Suckas!

:: 2007 5 January :: 12.24am

I haven't been able to go to bed/fall asleep any earlier than 2/3 am lately. I know it's just stress and things but I'm so tired of it. Literally.

I haven't been really France shell shocked lately. I'm excited but not as much as last semester. It's not noticeable, my excitement. C'est pas évidant, ma joie. My fear, on the other hand, is pretty evident.

I'm going to finish reading this article on Crime Library and then I'm grabbing my Pigeon book and going to bed. I work tomorrow at 9.

Did I mention my car wasn't working? I haven't tried it since Wednesday but it wasn't starting. We're going to test the battery and things before taking it in. I'm working full time until I leave but this lack of a car is killing me. I want to see everyone but I can't drive anywhere.

You guys have to come home once more before I leave. I wish you guys didn't have class so you could see me off.

Okay, now I'm nervous. I'm going to finish reading and stop thinking.

Remember to set and turn on your alarm, Rachel.

I love you all.

19 days 12 hours 12 minutes

:: 2007 3 January :: 12.50pm

i am so socially avoidant sometimes. i apologize for being the worst keep-in-touch person alive.

i really am a recluse...

6 ..... | ....

:: 2007 2 January :: 1.21am

22 days 11 hours 23 minutes

:: 2006 29 December :: 6.59pm

I keep thinking that I'm going back to school on the 8th. I go back to work on the 3rd. Hopefully then I'll get the schedule of when I can work during the time after classes start and before I leave.

I made crepes. Sort of. They turned out lame but it was my first time with my new happy crepe maker.

I'm afraid to go to France.

My parents got me luggage as an early birthday present. The thing is huge. I could fit comfortably in it.

So what're we doing for New Year's Eve?

25 days. 17 hours. Don't make me go.