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2005 3 February :: 9.08 pm
:: Music: killers - mr brightside
high on life
wow. im actually happy. for the first time im actually very happy, to the point where it will take a lot to bring me down. I only wish lauren felt the same way [[babe we gotta talk]]
anywho, soo im thinking of getting him cologne for valentines day, but then i think well what if he dont like the kind i get, or he doesnt where cologne at all..?? Alls i know is im madd excited, i figured out what im gonna write in the card, and im going nuuts. got 24/7 goosebumps lol. who knows what we're gonna do n shit, alalala i just needa calm down and take it one day at a time haha.
Anywho, so i got an 84 on my government regent and i didnt even do the thematic essay -- WHOS A BALLER? lol .. Schools been okay, im interning for mrs brown after school and for mr radske at lunch, and im actually doing good in school, im actually proud of myself. REWIND! im proud of myself? That hasnt happened in a long time.
Well, i really miss my mom, im hoping she's looking out for me, i dont wanna get caught . but its not like im doing anything bad anyways.. idk idk , i just miss her in general. Freddy I miss you, i love you so much!
Lauren, we neeed to talk, i read your journal and i dont like when youre upset, but babe, i tell u over and over again and u dont listen, so i decided one of the days me and ur are hangin out we're gonna have a SERIOUS conversation about all of this. trust me, we both need one lol. Dont be so hard on yourself and get down on yourself. Trust me, we'll talk and shit will be better. You know i love you and im always here for you.
Anyways, Rest In Peace Fred, you will be missed. Say hi to my mommy for me. Well lets hope all things go as planned, but i need help figuring out a present, comment with advice. xoxox
did the sun just come up or did u smile at me?
The correct version // sex is like a casino, liquor in the front, poker in the back =]
edit
I have a camera lol, lovie u know there will be lots of pic taking the 13th lol. i can finally get a pic of us .. woop!
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2005 2 February :: 8.10 pm
well the moment of truth arrived. both bad news and good news. but the good news completely outweighed the bad news!
talked to carly last night, not enough tho because i need to be filled in on the rest of stuff before i start assuming things. all honesty, its like everything changed once i left -- idk what the f-cks goin on anymore!
anyways, so im trying to figure out what to get him for valentines day, i know its a girly girl holiday, but i wanna get him something. i was thinking cologne, but what if he doesnt like the one i pick out? then i was thinkin a shirt from af, but i couldnt find one i liked.. idk maybe ill just have to look around and whatever pops out at me ill check out.
im sooo nervous about my regent grade, i really wanna know what i got on them, probably failed with my luck. Anywho, so nobody could ruin my day today. my smile would not wipe off my face. I CANT WAIT im so excited!! :D
anywho, goin to get my hair done the 11th, nails done i think the 10th, _________ the 13th, play the 4th, shoppping the 5th, lunch w/ laur n dinner w/ paul n aunt lee the 14th. phew i got a lot going on this month lol. plus MID WINTER RECESS! woot! well imma get going, gotta do some research on the golden age of television //psssshtttt// lol.
imm so nervous i have butterflies in my stomach. he drives me nuts, but i love every minute of it!
: D
edit
im so excited, and i just cant hide it! lol
sex is like a casino, poker in the front liquor in the back haha.
hey lauren, im a supergirl and im here to save the world lol.
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2005 1 February :: 10.20 pm
well we talked today so i guess everythng is all gravy. he just gives me the jitters, the heebee jeebees, the butterflies in your stomach, on the edge of ur seat feeling that i just cant get past.
got my report card. sci - 85 gym - 100 english- 80 global - 80 lab - satisfactory math - 95 government - 85 italian - 95 and she wants to put me in honors. woo hoo!
anyways, so we talked a lil today, that was good, i just wish he could open up a little more. like i said before, i wanna hear the truth from him, not the grapevine. oh well.. .
so im not sure what to get him for valentines day, i was thinking the cologne i discussed with my meliS would be good, i just gotta see if i like the scent. idk about whats gonna go on with what gets written in the card, ill just have to play it by ear.
i have this bad feeling his answer to "beers" is going to be no. that he has other plans or he'll make some bullshit excuse, thats waht im afraid of. idk i just really hope his answer is yes, i dont have to get into detail of how important this is.. oie. i needa lay down..
anyways, imma get going, im in the middle of a texas holdem game w/ lovie and some other random people. its good to ramble on tho, get my feelings out haha. whatever
tomorrow. 148pm -- moment of truth
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2005 30 January :: 8.50 pm
hidey ho f-ckers!! whats new? well thursday was my govt regent and im not sure how i did, hopefully i passed but ya never know. i get my report card tomorrow anyhow -- im hella nervous!
anyways so thursday after school me and paul came home and ate some food, then we did some chores and headed over to carls house. we met up with carl, lauren, brio, todd, and duane. we all watched napolean dynamite and then a little bit of the perfect score. we all left around 9 and then i cmae home and did a few more chores and then went to laurens. we played zoo tycoon -- yes ZOO tycoon. then we watched dawn of the dead, had popcorn, cookies and milk. yummies! after that we passed out.
friday morning we had no school.. soo we got up around 11 and went to johnnys. after that we went and got some egg sandwiches and went back to my house. we played backyard baseball and then fucked around. at around 430 my uncle picked us up and me lovie rob and paul went to the movies. we saw hide and seek -- SICK ASS MOVIE i swearr! then afterwards the boys left n me and lovie stayed for alone in the dark, we had to dig up change to buy some nachos and a drink, we finally do and the nachos somehow spill all over me, cheese gets on my pants and i smell like cheese for the rest of the movie.. again we had to stick w/ my candycanes lol. alone in the dark was an okay movie, but not as good as the others. after that we got stranded at the movie theatre and then lovies mom came and got us and i went hom and went to bed.
saturday i woke up around 10, got a birthday card for my uncle and 2 thank u cards, one for jim, one for aunt pat, uncle juoe, rob and joey, and then 2 valentines day cards -- we wont say for who! lauren was with me. then i went back home and saw john, gave him the cards nad he did his job haha. after that my cousins robert and kristina came over, i taught kristina how to play texas holdem and then we played for a while, then watched holiday in the sun, and then me kris paul and rob played texas holdem again, 2 games. after that my aunt and uncle came back, we had pie and tea and then everyone left. i came downstairs cleaned a lil bit and went to bed.
today i woke up around 11 and my dad picked me up around 1. we got pizza and did some shoppin lookin for winter boots and thermals. the ones w/ crotches lol lauren. then i came home and watched two movies with my aunt! after that we had dinner, chinese food woot. and then i got online, talked to *jimmy for a little while and a few more other ppl, then started to update.
tomorrow we get our report cards and new schedules. wish me luck, ill need it.
how do u do this to me??
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2005 26 January :: 9.37 pm
hmm? ? ?
welp, yesterday was first half of the english regent. it was okay i suppose. we had to listen to this guy read a long ass story and take notes and then write an essay on it, then the second essay was on a passage we read. after school yesterday i met up with lauren and we went to key food to get some ingredients so we could make a cake, after a few setbacks it came out good lol. we didnt have enough frosting tho so we had to haul ass to the superette to get some. we made it just in time haha. so the cake was good, then we just hung around til about 730 and me and paul brought lauren halfway home and had snowball fights haha, i was queen of the mound right laur!! lol then after that i got home, watched american idol n got online. talked to danny for a while, caught up on some stuff..did the usual and then went to bed.
today was the second half of the english regent, it sucked ass, i think i did terrible on it, but whatever. tomorrow is govt and im nervous as fuck. i feel like i dont know anything, im deff not gona do good on the thematic essay thats for damn sure. so today after school i went with lauren to cvs to get some candy, and then me her and paulie went and saw assault on precint 13. movie was ill as fuck. it was sooo good, thanks jim for the advice to go see it. we have such similar taste in movies. so we saw that and had a bunch of snowball fights again, n just farted around. really enjoyed the movie tho. when we got home we had dinner n then i started to study for govt. now im talkikn to ppl and makin plans for friday.
so far me, lauren, paulie, and rob are gonna go see hide and seek and then me and lauren are gonna stay later to see alone in the dark. granted, i really miss rob joe and jim and i hope to see them all soon. its like for a while they had movie marathon and now me n lovie got it goign on yeaa boyy! lol. but i really should get going, finish studyin n get some shut eye.
i FINALLY had a conversation with zach today. a real one! it wasnt a long one, but its ok cuz he was talkikn to brandi and thats understandable. i really am glad he's happy. i cant wait til i reach that point. im so happy for u and proud of u!
other then that miss u all and hope to see you guys soon. much love. ahh what do i get u guys for valentines day?!?! oie vei. wish me luck on my test tomorrow!
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2005 25 January :: 9.16 pm
:: Music: poker on television
wick had a good idea!
well i was reading whits journal, and she had a good idea, to put out all her feelings but do it anonymously. wick, im borrowing that idea, i hope u dont mind -- its just ive been trying to talk about shit but kinda do it suttely [sp?] .. so here goes, hope ur ok w/ me takin this from u : D
1. I miss you very much. That day will forever be in my head and you will never be forgotten. Everywhere I go I take you with me and i love you soo much. You knew everything about me and everything I did, but you still trusted me and gave me a wonderful life, I hope I made yours at least half as good as you made mine.
2. Damn, where would I be without you? honestly, when i first came to new york i didnt want to have anything to do with anyone, i had such resentment towards the world, but im really glad i met you. we've had such good times and more to come. you're a sweetheart and always there for me. plus ur my johnnys sidekick lol. id be in hell froze over without you here. we just need to help you with ur guy situation haha .. how's that sound coming from me? love uu!
3. Oh buddy, i refuse to write all i want to because this would be neverending. no matter what you will ALWAYS be my best friend forever. i miss you sooo much but when i coe to visit we are going to have SO much fun its undescribable. you will forever be attached to me at the hip and i will be ur friend til the lord strikes me dead. i wouldnt be where i am today without u as a friend, ur advice, ur influence on me [not always good lol.. i had my first drink w/ u], just everything about u. u know we're sisters .. whether the dna says it or not!
4. Well, i didnt know you all that much before i moved, but you are a wonderful person and im so glad i FINALLY got to meet u after hearing u on the phone and hearing shitloads upon shitloads of stuff nad i know u got my back thru it all. i cannot wait to see you again. ur like my older brother!!
5. oh lordy. i met you once and it was soo much fun. i cant believe a fighting couple brought me and you together, all i know is i wouldnt change that for the world. ive been there for u and uve been there for me and u have touched me in such a way.. you are an amazing person and im so glad i can call you my friend. i cant wait to see you again and maybe we can start to drain out our lake. i will never ever forget you, and i appreciate all you do for me. ur in my heart always!
6. well, what can i say? we have been to the end and back again. we've fought more than a married couple but still go back to each other. uve been there for me thru soo many things and vice versa and i know when it came down to the nitty gritty you had my back. we have so many insiders and i know ull be in my life til the day i die. nobody can come between the bond we have.
7. you are so awesome. i really do love you and im always there for u. i have to say tho, we had a good friendship, but we never really saw each other. now that i moved i barely talk to you, but hey i guess that works both ways. ur always lookikng out for me and ur bluntly honest, which can sometimes be a pain in the ass ;) but thats just one of those things about u that make you ... you. you will never be erased from me, its just not possible.
8. oh lordy, where to start. when i first met u years ago, i dint like you at all. you seemed like a cocky ass and kinda like a show off. i met u again this year, really talked to you .. you are so sweet. youre amazing, funny, fun to be around, and anything but a show off. money isnt a thing to u, and u are so respectful. you know how i feel about you, and ive been hearing from people how you feel about me, but itd be nice to get the information from you. i dont really know where we stand, but you have filled a place in my heart nobody else has, and altho you drive me crazy.. i wouldnt give away this feeling for anything!
9. you are one cooky mo fo. me and you are so identical which is i guess why we get along so much. although i rarely see you, when i do we have such a blast. you always make me laugh no matter what my mood, and you're my helper in holdem. and if it werent for u, i wouldnt know person above! : D
10. oh my goodness. we have been through so much, boynton highschool baby, shit talkers R us. you have ALWAYS given such good advice and been there when i really needed u, altho we had that one big blow out and didnt talk for a while u still came thru, especially that day when i really needed u to be there. it wouldnt have been the same without you. i only wish we will stay friends forever and i apologize we havent kept in touch that much. i cry reading our passbooks..
11. haha. me and you are like a rollercoaster. i honestly never know where we stand. we have been through so much, alothough it may not seem like a lot, and i dont know if ill ever be able to forget u, no matter how hard i try ;x. we went from talking, to friends, to mortal enemies, back to friends. it was a wild trip, but a fun one at the least. im glad we're on good terms and i can talk to you when i need a friend.
of course there are tons more people that are on this list, its just these are the ones that came to mind quickly, plus i gotta get to bed soon ;). all of you will never be forgotten and i hope we stay friends for years to come. i didnt exactly say the truth about everybody and about all the people i wanted to, but well, tomorrows another day.
cant you just tell me what you're feeling, i dont want to hear it from the grapevine
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2005 24 January :: 8.19 pm
:: Music: green day - american idiot
long time no talk
wellpz! lets see, lots of stuff's been going on lately, i just hope i can remember it all :: which i probably wont.
okay, well the week went by pretty quick since there was no school on monday. I think it was thursday when john came home with my christmas gifts!! wooop! lol. from aunt pattie and uncle joe i got a cute purse, from robbie and joey i got a cute stuffed animal [dog] and from jimmy* he got me a build a bear. a BIG ass bear haha. its soo soft and cuute and he dressed it and it reminds me of him, it comes with a birth certificate and everything hehe. Lauren and I were calculating yesterday, yes thats waht boredom does to u, and we rounded to 50 bucks! yikes lol. he still needs to pick up his present. oye!
friday i met up with lauren and carl and we went to queens center mall. we had fun bus rides. when we got to the mall we met up with oana. We hit the food court first [of course] and then hit a few more stores ... modells, pac sun, and icicle etc.. got new earrings, a cute ass shirt, and a margarita key chain haha. REPRESENT* then lauren came back to my house and she slept over. uhh.. john brought home some food and wasnt exactly "himself" so when he was better me him and lauren played a load of cards. around 2/3 me and lauren passed out to bad boys 2.
saturday we woke up at like 840 THANKS JOHNNY BOY! paul was out at his friends and aunt lee was at work.. john got us mcdonals for breakfast and we talked a looot about jimmy and paul haha. then i hopped in the shower and we brought lauren home so she could get her shit together. after a while we cashed in the lotto tickets n picked up lauren. in the midst of all this we got in touch with jimmy and i guess some good shit happeneed, i just hope it all follows thru right laur*? the 12th babbbby! :-p it better happen lovie! so after we discussed thngs w/ jim n shit the SNOW STORM hit, yes all u floridians i wish i was with u -- it was amaziing! so that night shit happened between john n aunt lee so john left n me n lauren just chilled for a while, ordered some chicken fingers from pizza classica "yeaaa boyyy" lol remember... and watched movies, played cards, n then we had this wild idea to go out in the snow, there was over a foot. so we went out, shoveled, snowball fight, snowangels, i lost my hat, lauren lost her phone -- both were found *phew* and this was around 9pm.. freeeeezing! then we walked to a closed mcdonalds lol. such nerdssss!! after that we came home n defrosted n watched some movies n passed out!
sunday we woke up around 11 and aunt lee was nowhere to be found, so i woke up lauren and we went outside and went to shovel and found aunt lee and my grama. we were shoveling til about 12. then we came back inside and ate a shitload and then did some homework.. we buzzed my dog and there was a SHITLOAD of hair off that dog, it was stickin to everyybody!! speaking of cookie, here she coomes!! aftre that gram made us some homemade soup for dinner, we ate, played backyard baseball and walked lauren to a and s. oh yea, and befor dinner me n laur were lookin for ece pics and it was very funny cuz i was lyin outta my ass. oh it was 2004, oh they played the red team lol. then we fought. funny night!!
today after school i went to mcdonalds with lauren n then went to my house nad i passed the fuck out watching joy ride.. aftr that did chores ate, played some texas holdem, i won WOOP~ and then got online.. im missing details, but some i cant say :-( .. oh well, aah my hearts fluttering hehe. <33
well imma get going, got regents tomorrow - should study..
btw, carly i called u -- no answer, same with u mario . i wanna c uuuuu!!
Did the sun just come out or did you just smile* at me <33
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