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2005 28 October :: 1.56pm
:: Mood: depressed
I'm just more and more depressed everyday over Jim.
I went over his house for a while, when I got there it was around 2:20 [I stayed home from school yesterday and today] he was sleeping in his bed, so I just crawled in next to him.. I fell asleep for about an hour then woke him up and we talked. We got into an arguement, but as I got up to leave he pulled me back down, so I stayed. Then Jeff said someone was at the door for him, and Jim asked who it was.. Jeff hesitated and said it was Christian, so Jim went down, then came back up with Christain and Jess. I guess this little girl Krysta ran away from home and her parents called the cops, and they think they're going to search Jims and Brandons house because they hang out with her. So there was a big drama, Jess left so Jim, Christain and I went downstairs. Jess came back, we all sat in the kitchen for like an hour or so.. Jess left again, Jim and I got into a fight because he told me he hated me being there. I cried half the way home, then I called him and started screaming at him, and he told me to come back. So I turned around at Manns Lounge and went back. Christain was still there when I got back, but I was still crying so I just went up in Jims room to lay down. Then they both came up, Jim asked him to go in the other room, we talked for a few minutes.. blah blah blah. Anyways, I left after that. Came home, went to sleep.
I didn't go to school today either. I'm sick, I went to the doctors I just have a viral infection. I don't have to go to work tonight or tomorrow morning.
Jim and I are supposed to go out tomorrow night.. I can't wait. :)
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2005 27 October :: 10.07pm
:: Mood: hopeful
:: Music: Descendents - Mass Nerder
gonna kick their asses in class,gonna kick their asses in class, gonna kick their asses in class, gonna get good grades!
so i took a good nap today and had a splendid dream... twice O.o like, i was on the bus going home but it really wasn't my house nor was it my bus but Josh was there, everyone else were just random people, and like.. they all got off at my house and were in my house and stuff and they were in my room messing up my room and the second time i had the dream they broke my tv O.o lol. but you know why i say the dream was splendid.
my mom got mad when i brought up the halloween store and said all this crap about what she has to get done this weekend. she is way to stressed, being a single mother and stuff, working, taking care of bills and whatnot and like taking care of my overly dependant grandmother because all she has left is my mom and us, so.. lately my mom's been kinda mean, b;ut again, that's the stress... but.. i thought about it.. when was the last time we ever did anything fun? with my mom? that was in the summer... she almost never takes me anywhere yet she wheels my sister around everywhere... i asked her if she could do my make up for my costume and stuff and she yelled at me a bout how she has to go work yet she drives my sister to college all the fucking time when she should be driving and not getting the baby treatment that she does. why can't she take me and make Val take the bus? my mom is too tired to wake up the early for something stupid like that. i liked it better when she didn't have a job, she was a lot more relaxed.
anyway, it's not right me to complain about something like that considering the state of the world in general.
anyway, my party is sunday so i am happy. i hope everyone can come <3
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2005 27 October :: 10.19am
:: Mood: crappy
Jim called me at 2 in the morning, saying that he was sorry. This time I said that it wasn't okay. He was like well, I just stopped smoking that's why I'm grouchy. I still didn't say it was okay. But we talked for a few minutes then I had to go because Gabby woke up screaming. Shes sick. Okay, well I guess I'm going over Jims later today.. I'll update later. <3
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2005 26 October :: 9.52pm
:: Mood: confused
It started out as a great day.. Jim called me at 5:30 or so in the morning, and we talked for like an hour. Then I got ready for school, school was okay. I went to work right after school. I tried and tried to call Jim to make sure I could still come over his house. Jeff answered each time, and each time he wasn't there. (I got off work early) I even rented a movie at Giant Eagle for us to watch.. I ended up going with Kelly and Krysta to Krystas house until I got ahold of Jim. Alaina and Bill came, we were all hanging out and Jim calls. He tells me that he just started watching a movie over Brandons, to come over "later" so I told him that I couldn't because I had to be home at 10:30-11:00. We kinda argued, it was mostly him yelling at me and me trying to defend myself. I started crying and he hung up on me. I fucking cried in front of everyone for like 5 minutes. He always does this to me. Why do I even try anymore? It's like he does it on purpose to see how long I'll take it. I just don't understand, how can he make me cry so much all the time.. I think he likes to do it, maybe it makes him feel good. Why else would he blow me off all the time.
..why do I care so much.
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2005 25 October :: 9.33am
:: Mood: busy
So today I woke up at 7:13. (I usually leave at 7:10!) SO I got up real fast, put clothes on, makeup, and brushed my teeth. I ran out the door and I noticed that it was STILL SNOWING!! So I was going up the hill and it was freezing. BLAH.
I feel and look like crap, it's hat day today, so I'm wearing Jim's hat.
Yesterday after school [the note being passed around about me, Jim and Jess.. lots of drama with that.] I went to Jims. We had the best time. We just talked, layed in his bed and talked, I looked up in his attic.. it's really scary up there. There is a table up there with a half empty Dr. Pepper can.. but no one ever goes up there. SO I got home around 6:00, then just chilled out went online for a bit, spent some time with Gab.
I have to leave early [2:00] to take Gab to her Dr. Apt in Washington. I think Jim is going to go with me. I'm scared to drive on bad roads!
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2005 24 October :: 11.01pm
Little Round Mirrors - Harvey Danger
All alone
On the floor
Next to your twin-bed box-spring and mattress
The door
Is ajar
From afar
You can hear bands practicing
And When they dream they all
Dream of somebody like you
Somebody who takes what they make
Twice as seriously as they could ever hope to do
And when you dream
You dream of a day...
When you find something you could love half as much
As you love all your little round mirrors
See yourself reflected in one, theres a hole in the middle
You can't seem to fill
Bring them home
Watch them go
All you know is you hope they'll hurry back
And you cry
Then you lie your frail body down
Like a penny on a railroad track
And even if they stay in touch
The past stays in the past
But every time
You crash a little bit harder than the last
And every time you crash don't you
Wanna find something you could love
Half as much as you love all your little round mirrors
See yourself reflected in one
There's a hole in the middle you can't seem to fill
A shooting star is
A little piece of
Cosmic debree desperately wanting to fall to earth
It doesn't get too far
It's not a real star
It's hardly even worth footnotes in your memoir
Shoulder to shoulder
Up on our tip-toes
Chewing our fingers
And craning our necks
Just to see
Quite the collection
Divide by section
It's just a surrogate connection leaving you all alone
On the floor next to your twin-bed box-spring and mattress
The door
Still ajar
There you are and now you're coming to stay until
You can find someone who will love you as much
As you love all your little round mirrors
Murdering your tired, cold blood
There's a whole in the middle you can't seem to fill
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2005 23 October :: 8.13pm
:: Mood: cheerful
It was a great weekend.. starting with Friday.
8th period on Friday someone was like "Jena, you have to read this note." So I read it, and it's this note that was found on the ground about how this girl is totally in love with Jim. LMAO. Make me laugh! So everyone read it (before I got it) and everyone was laughing their asses off also. Friday night Becky and I went to a haunted house, it was okay, not as good as we had hoped.. but we did have fun. (love you BECKY!)
Saturday morning was PowderPuff practice, after that Randi, Becky and I stopped at McDonalds to get something to eat. I dropped Becky off at her house, then went to Jims. (We mostly stayed in his bed!) haha. I got there about noon, then left at 3:00 to go to work. After work I just went home and went to sleep.
Today was the PowderPuff game against the Juniors. WE KICKED THEIR ASSES! hahaha. 12-0. Seniors=undefeted. Hell yes. After the game me, Becky, Randi, Sam, Jason, Nick, and Zack went to eat at Kings. Then we decided not to eat there, left and went to Pizza Hut. Then we went to Wal*Mart, messed around then went home. I got home around 7:00.
Yeah, it was a great weekend!
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2005 22 October :: 10.28pm
:: Mood: achy
:: Music: Dir en Grey - Cage
| I have issues with... | children
mirror
society
power
gender
| Take Word Association Test
| I have issues with... | past
intelligence
gender
scars
health
| Take Word Association Test
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2005 21 October :: 6.31pm
:: Mood: zombified
Advanced Global Personality Test Results
| Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com
Stability results were moderately low which suggests you are worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious.
Orderliness results were very low which suggests you are overly flexible, improvised, and fun seeking at the expense too often of reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment.
Extraversion results were medium which suggests you are moderately talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting.
trait snapshot:
messy, irritable, depressed, fragile, worrying, emotionally sensitive, does not like to lead, phobic, weird, suspicious, low self control, paranoid, frequently second guesses self, dependent, unproductive, introverted, weak, strange, unassertive, submissive, familiar with the dark side of life, feels invisible, rash, vain, anti-authority, heart over mind, low self concept, disorganized, not good at saving money, avoidant, daydreamer, unadventurous
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2005 17 October :: 5.53pm
:: Mood: content
I am online.. at my house!
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2005 16 October :: 2.32pm
:: Music: PENICILLIN - Limelight
[hell bound heart]!
PENCILLIN has a new cd [hell bound heart] coming out late november. MUST MUST MUST MUST BUY! >.<
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2005 13 October :: 12.58pm
Okay, last night was Powder Puff practice last night, Becky and I went.. good times.
After that I went over Jims house for a little bit.. then I stopped at GE to get bread and milk. I got home about 9:30.
Today is PSSA tutoring again.. gayyyy. I'm taking Roxy and Merry home, and Krysta and I have to work on our projects for English. GAyyyyy. But anyways.. the internet will be hooked up on Monday for my new computer. I'm so excited!
k, see ya!
Jena
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2005 12 October :: 10.29pm
Links
these will be in my profile, too
Myspace - http://www.myspace.com/popstarzombie
LiveJournal - http://www.livejournal.com/users/momentum_bath/
Xanga - http://www.xanga.com/ColorKid
DeviantART - http://glowsticky.deviantart.com/
add me please :)
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2005 12 October :: 10.16pm
:: Mood: relieved
:: Music: Guilty Gear Isuka - Home Sweet Grave
today in school was ok. in science i think shannon asked Knox if the purse that was on his desk (someone left it there) was his. and he was like "what, my man purse?" and some was like "DO YOU HAVE A MAN PURSE?" and he said no and that someone left it there, and someone else asked what his name was, because the purse had an "s" on it, and someone said "it could be an s for super" and we were all like Super Knox! lol and mr. knox was like "i keep my super hero stuff in there." and then danny was talking about how superman sucks because he was like all the powers and i was saying how batman sucks because he's just angsty and rich XD
and in PE we were playing kickball and the bases were sliding everywhere and i slipped off of home and fell and got a brush burn on my knee. lol. everyone thought it was funny. after that Mrs. Walk decided not to use them anymore. lol.
well.. that's it?
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2005 12 October :: 12.03pm
:: Mood: amused
lmao.. freshmen make me laugh.
especially when they think that I care that they talk about me.
ahahaha. hahaha. haha.
I love it.
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