all my restistance will never be distance enough
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

so today was ok.
some good and some really really bad.
i dont like these cold cloudy days.
they make me want to crawl up in my bed and sleep
good thing.
maggie forgot to put the note in for me to come in to work today so i didnt have to go in.
which is very good because i have that 6 page paper to write for dance aestetics for tomorrow.
but im really stressing in english. i am quite sure i have a C.
ugh.

whatever.
its not so simple.
and you would know if you saw it
through my eyes.

lyrics.. i cried my myself to sleep to this song.

Driving away from the wreck of the day
And the light's always red in the rear-view
Desperately close to a coffin of hope
I'd cheat destiny just to be near you
If this is giving up, then I'm giving up
If this is giving up, then I'm giving up, giving up
On love, On love

Driving away from the wreck of the day
And I'm thinking 'bout calling on Jesus
'Cuz love doesnt hurt so I know I'm not falling in love
I'm just falling to pieces
And if this is giving up then I'm giving up
If this is giving up then I'm giving up, giving up
On love, On love

Maybe I'm not up for being a victim of love
All my resistance will never be distance enough

Driving away from the wreck of the day
And it's finally quiet in my head
Driving alone, finally on my way home to the comfort of my bed
And if this is giving up, then I'm giving up
If this is giving up, then I'm giving up, giving up
On love, On love

i wish you would.
somethings just dont go away.

i think the hardest part
of getting by
is when the night comes
which is when im the most alone
when i dont have the sun to distract me
or conversations to get my mind off you
and i dont have anybody to call
so i sit
listening to old billie holiday and aerosmith songs
or playing the everglow
thinking
remembering
exactly how it used to be.
and i think thats when it gets to me the most.

i watched the notebook today
for the 12638746395098423256719th time.
tears
and now i have this song stuck in my head.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'll be seeing you
In all the old familiar places
That this heart of mine embraces
All day through.

In that small cafe;
The park across the way;
The children's carousel;
The chestnut trees;
The wishin' well.

I'll be seeing you
In every lovely summer's day;
In every thing that's light and gay.
I'll always think of you that way.

I'll find you
In the morning sun
And when the night is new.
I'll be looking at the moon,
But I'll be seeing you.

I'll be seeing you
In every lovely summer's day;
In every thing that's light and gay.
I'll always think of you that way.

I'll find you
In the morning sun
And when the night is new.
I'll be looking at the moon,
But I'll be seeing you.

ive never been so much pain in my life
oww

lyrics... i love this song

I'm slipping away
In every way
I can't stay awake
(and I don't know why)
I'm slipping away
(and I don't know why)

I'm trying to make it through each day
I'm falling apart now in every way
I'm finding it harder to get by
There's a hole in my heart
And I don't know why
Now I've come to realize

I'm slipping away

I'm never
speaking up
again
It only
hurts me.

update since friday nov 18

friday: lindsey came over. and lindsey and i rocked out to gold digger and laffy taffy and got taco bell. great fun. kayla came over too and we all hung out a little bit.

saturday: woke up at 6:30am to go to englewood to a wrestling match with kristie that we found out later didnt start still 8:30. and we left at 10:30. taylor didnt even say thank you. but he won.
then i took pictures for my photo project at kristies and she she took me home
ryann picked me up and went to corey's and then dinner for julianna's b-day. then we went to ashley's house, then corey's again then my house and then julianna's brother's house where we all slept over. (slingblades). drama maybe? i think so. it was fun tho

sunday: woke up and got mcdonalds in our pj's i got a mcgriddle.
my mom picked me up and then i went back to sleep.
josh came over at like 5 something and helped me with my project but we didnt get much done.
hes a funnie one

yesterday: didnt go to school cuz i didnt feel like it. also bcuz i didnt do any of my homework.
we picked up ryan because he got me a sub from charleys from the food court. it was rly good.
but then last night i got rly sick.

today: i didnt go for 1st or 2nd period cuz i'm really sick again. and it sucks big time. and i cant miss anymore days or im going to faillllllllll ahhhhhhhhhhhhh
ok well lots of hw to do
tootles
<3 gRb <3

oh yeah
and today...
that made me giggle :)
tee hee
<3

just got home from workkkkkkk
first day
training
i'm not scheduled till the day after thanks giving soo yah.
today was a good day.
i have a shit load of hw.
i hate lab reports with a passion.
<3

i cant help you
if you leave me
in the dark.

the things you used to say
in the notes you used to write me
oh
how they seem so far away now.

this bulliten made me cry... and i dont knoe why
actually
i do.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To every girl that says: I love you.
:
To every girl that lets a guy open the door for her.
:
To every girl that cooks dinner for him.
:
To every girl that looks beyond a guy's looks and popularity.
:
To every girl that was never too busy to drive across town to see him.
:
To every girl that worries about him when he is sick.
:
To every girl who has given him a kiss just because.
:
To every girl who thinks there is no other guy but him.
:
To every girl that is happy that it's that way.
:
To every girl that is happy to let him hang out with his friends.
:
To every girl that treated him like a king.
:
To every girl that cried without him knowing.
:
To every girl that let him see her cry.
:
To every girl that holds hands with him.
:
To every girl that kisses with meaning.
:
To every girl that worries about him when he's sad.
:
To every girl who says I'm cold because she wants to be held.
:
To every girl that sends him a text after a perfect date.
:
To every girl that would sit and wait for him for hours just to be able to see him for ten minutes.
:
To every girl that would sit in his lap because there were no other chairs.
:
To every girl that just wants to cuddle.
:
To every girl that reassures him that there is no other guy for her.
:
To every girl who told secrets to him.
:
To every girl that tried to show how much she cared through every word and every breath.
:
To every girl that thought maybe this could be the one.
:
To every girl that believed in his dreams.
:
To every girl that would have done anything so he could achieve them.
:
To every girl that never laughed at him when he told her his dreams.
:
To every girl that walked him to his car.
:
To every girl that would do anything to see him.
:
To every girl that actually listened.
:
To every girl that gave her heart only to have it shoved back in her face.
:
::
:::
::
:


This one is for us...

Say anything
But, say what you mean
When you whisper you want this
Your eyes tell the same.

im at home
sick.
i couldnt help it...
i opened the book of notes.
temptation.
i wish i could just
disappear.

im just sick and tired of it all
im miserable and
i think im done.
bye

ok that was weird...
well today wasnt that great
i didnt feel good at today it was rly weird
i watch the interpreter all by myself
and it wasnt that good.
i cried most of the day
memories coming back to me
it made me sad.
can never go back there...
i thought i was through crying but i guess
im just making myself sad and its ridiculous.
so i was feeling rly sick and i was curled up on the couch
under a blanket
watching the movie
i hadnt gotten dressed since i woke up
and ryan calls and said im coming to pick you up in 20 minutes we're going to bake a cake at my house.
so i took a shower and got dressed and then we went to publix and ogt cake mix and some icing
and we went back to his house and
it was cool
the cake was yummy i must admit
sprinkles and all.
i have a lot of hw to do
i havent even started lol.
my interview us tomorow.
peace <3

lyrics

Trying hard to speak and
Fighting with my weak hand
Driven to distraction
So part of the plan
When something is broken
And you try to fix it
Trying to repair it
Any way you can
I'm diving off the deep end
You become my best friend
I wanna love you
But I don't know if I can
I know something is broken
And I'm trying to fix it
Trying to repair it
Any way I can

Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh...

You and me are floating on a tidal wave...
Together
You and me are drifting into outer space...
And singing

Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh...

You and me are floating on a tidal wave...
Together
You and me are drifting into outer space
You and me are floating on a tidal wave...
Together
You and me are drifting into outer space...
And singing

Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh...

yesssssssssssssssss
PACSUN CALLED!!!!!
i have a interview on monday at 4pm.
i am excited
i rly hope i get the job
i need it. bad.
we got another car today
it was cool
2003 honda accord
leather seats, sunroof, 6 cd changer.
pretty kinda
except its green. butts its cool
no luck on the phone
i was hoping to get another cellphone today but we didnt have time.
i dont knoe when i'm going to.
i havent talked josh in a while.
i talked to him thurs just barely
he couldnt rly talk he has stitches in his mouth and he said it hurt so bad i felt badly for him.
ryan is still grounded i talked to him for like a half hour today.
and i didnt talk to him yesterday.
kristie is in gainesville and i rly want to talk to her.
mimi hasnt called me yet.
the interpreter came in the mail today
i guess i'll have to watch it alone.
<3

soooooooooooooooooooooo
i had a alot of fun today
emily slept over last night
and mimi was in town so she surprised me
and drove over to my house
and then we went to the beach around 12:30
and we went to tropical smoothie
and we took pretty pictures for my project
and then we went to the mall
and i applied for a job at pacsun
and i'm way excited cuz they said they rly needed people so they'll try and get me a interview asap.
and we ate
and then we took emily to work
and then mimi took me home
and it was fun listening to oldies and singing along
i love those girls
then me and kayla went to the mall
and my mom was being a pee hole and wouldnt let me sleep over
bitchyyyyyyyyyyyy
<3

I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
While you're far away dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure

Don't want to close my eyes
I don't want to fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you baby
And I don't want to miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you baby
And I don't want to miss a thing

Lying close to you feeling your heart beating
And I'm wondering what you're dreaming
Wondering if it's me you're seeing
Then I kiss your eyes
And thank God we're together
I just want to stay with you in this moment forever
Forever and ever

I don't want to miss one smile
I don't want to miss one kiss
I just want to be with you
Right here with you, just like this
I just want to hold you close
Feel your heart so close to mine
And just stay here in this moment
For all the rest of time

Don't want to close my eyes
I don't want to fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you baby
And I don't want to miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you baby
And I don't want to miss a thing

Don't want to close my eyes
I don't want to fall asleep
I don't want to miss a thing