lyrics

I still hang on every word
in the world of faded memories
where your still in love with me
I can see it in your eyes
you look as if your martyerdom has lost control

I must hold on
This happens all the time
I still find my faith in you
I cant hold on
this happens all the time
I still find my way to you

If a dreams all that I've got
then I wish you're in a fairy tale
where you're still in love with me
I could see it in your eyes
the look as if your hero fell and lost his soul

I must hold on
This happens all the time
I still find my faith in you
I cant hold on
this happens all the time
I still find my way to you...

To you...
To you...
To you...

I must hold on
This happens all the time
I still find my faith in you
I cant hold on
This happens all the time
I still find my way to you

yeah so i havent talked to ryan in 3 days...
and im kinda worried i dunno maybe not as much worried as i wish i could talk to him cuz yeah. i called him like a bajillion times yesterday and i called him sunday buttt no answer and no call back. i called his moms cell phone yesterday to wish happy birthday cuz it was her b-day but she didnt pick up so i left a message lol yeah so i kinda have a feeling.. that they went on a road trip or out of time unexpectedly. today is also his moms day off and 2moro she has to go back to work so ima call him again 2morrow hopefully he'll pick up... but yeah
yesterday i hungout with ryann and kayla and matt. we slept over kaylas saterday and then went to the beach until about a quarter to 1 and then went to ryanns house and hung there for a bit and then ryanns mom took me to matts house at 5 cuz ryann was late for work. but yeah i hung out at his place till bout 11 at ate dinner and watched tv and stuff.
but now i'm rly rlyrly bored and i wanna talk to ryan sOoOo bad and i rly wanna go to the beach 2moro but no one to go with and no one to take me so yeah
<3

lyrics

[Verse 1 Beyonce]
Baby I See You Working Hard
I Want To Let You Know I'm Proud,
Let You Know That I Admire What You Do
Don't Know If I Need To Reassure You, My Life Would Be Purposeless Without You (Yeah)
If I Want It (Got It)
When I Ask You (You Provide It)
You Inspire Me To Be Better
You Challenge Me For The Better
Sit Back And Let Me Pour Out My Love Letter

Let Me Help You
Take Off Your Shoes
Untie You Shoestrings
Take Off Your Cufflinks (Yeah)
What You Want To Eat Boo? (Yeah)
Let Me Feed You
Let Me Run Your Bathwater
Whatever You Desire, I'll Aspire
Sing You A Song
Turn My Game On
I'll Brush Your Hair
Help Put Your Do Rag On
Want A Foot Rub? (Yeah)
You Want A Manicure?
Baby I'm Yours I Want To Cater To You Boy

[Chorus]
Let Me Cater To You
Cause Baby This Is Your Day
Do Anything For My Man
Baby You Blow Me Away
I Got Your Slippers, Your Dinner, Your Dessert, And So Much More
Anything You Want Just Let Me Cater To You
Inspire Me From The Heart,
Can't Nothing Tear Us Apart
You're All That I Want In A Man;
I Put My Life In Your Hands
I Got Your Slippers, Your Dinner, Your Dessert, And So Much More
Anything You Want, I Want To Cater To You

[Verse 2 Kelly]
Baby I'm Happy You're Home,
Let Me Hold You In My Arms
I Just Want To Take The Stress Away From You
Making Sure That I'm Doing My Part (Oh)
Boy Is There Something You Need Me To Do (Oh)
If You Want It (I Got It)
Say The Word (I Will Try It)
I Know Whatever I'm Not Fulfilling (Oh)
No Other Woman Is Willing (Oh)
I'm Going To Fulfill Your Mind, Body, And Spirit

I Promise You (Promise You)
I'll Keep Myself Up (Oh)
Remain The Same Chick (Yeah)
You Fell In Love With (Yeah)
I'll Keep It Tight, I'll Keep My Figure Right
I'll Keep My Hair Fixed, Keep Rocking The Hottest Outfits
When You Come Home Late Tap Me On My Shoulder, I'll Roll Over
Baby I Heard You, I'm Here To Serve You (I'm Lovin It, I'm Lovin It)
If It's Love You Need, To Give It Is My Joy
All I Want To Do, Is Cater To You Boy

[Chorus]

[Bridge Michelle]
I Want To Give You My Breath, My Strength, My Will To Be Here
That's The Least I Can Do,
Let Me Cater To You
Through The Good (Good)
The Bad (Through The Bad)
The Ups And Downs (Ups And Downs)
I'll Still Be Here For You
Let Me Cater To You
Cause You're Beautiful (You're Beautiful)
I Love The Way You Are (You Are)
Fulfill Your Every Desire (Desire)
Your Wish Is My Command (Command)
I Want To Cater To My Man
Your Heart (Your Heart)
So Pure Your Love Shines Through(Shines Through)
The Darkness We'll Get Through (So Much)
So Much Of Me Is You (Is You)
I Want To Cater To My Man

[Chorus Out]

spare me just
3 last words
i love you
is all she heard..

yeah so like im bored
again
ryan came over todai which was sweet and he came over last night for dinner too and that wuz sweeeeeeeeet as well
we're doing alot better which is good. hes been rly sweet lately which i'm liking. but uh yeah i wanna talk to him but he never called me after we took him home soo yeah. aw my poor baby he slipped and fell on my porch cuz it was raining so much. and he cut his ankle so i had to put a band aid on it. and hes all "i dont use band aids i let it heal on its own." and i was like ah ah. but yeah i think im gonna go watch tv
<3
T
to the
I
to the
G-E-R
grrr

i'm sOoOooOo bored
ah our car is broke and so my dad just wants to get another one and i was like helll naw we cannot afford a car rite now... so yeah. i am very bored. and i wanted to sleep over kaylas house last night cuz i miss my kayla and i wanna see her hair but ya knoe mamma said fro some reason i ont even knoe. and now im bored out of my eyeballs. wanna see ryan but i dont knoe if thats gonna happen as soon as i want it. he got suspended from work for a week bcuz of the other day and the town center and he was mad at me so he wouldnt let ryann take him home so he walked all the way from southside to arlington. 6 hours.. in the pouring rain i was soo worried and so upset but theres nothing i can do about it now... im gonna go watch tv
<3 yOu

its hard to act like i dont care at all

and so it is...
just like you said it would be

i'm sooo friggin bored out of my eyeballs
ive done like nothing all day cept clean and watch tv and find people on myspace. i found out alot of people that knoe these others peoples that knoe these others peoples and its just amaaazzzzzzing. not rly but ok.
and how bout ryan is mad at me again. which then puts me in a pisssy mood and i jump up every time the phone rings hoping its him but then i get super disapointed when its not... and he wont answer when i call, and he wont return my messages i feel like i left a bajillion of em when i knoe i havent. but yeah i dunno how we can be doing so good and then not. it could be something i say and it changes everything and sometimes i feel like i'm walking on broken glass when it comes to him and i knoe thats not how it should be. especially now we've been together for so long... 1 year 8 months and 2 weeks... and i love him more then anything i've ever known.... he's all i think about... thinking about him at night is the only thing that can get me to sleep at night and hes whats gets me out of bed every day and ahh craziness. i just wanna talk to him... golly
im out
<3 yOu

i saw my chikaboo todai.
we went to the beach for an hour with his mom but then she to do this thing at 2 so she dropped us off at my house and we chilled and then went to publix and i made a mess of macaroons. haha
i had fun
k well i'm tired and i'm talkin to him so i'ma go lay down
and hearts

ahhh shit is sOoOoOo scary
i was so scared last night i couldnt even sleep
but n e hoo i havent been writing lately... my computer is still screwed i cant be online on my computer for more then like 10 minutes and then it goes wacko and breaks down. but yeah i'm at kaylas house. slept over last night with ashton, jenna and of course kayla. i smell like friggin barbeque.. its sOoOo annoying cause of ashtons fire thing in her yard. but yeah...
i really wanna see ryan i havent seen him in 1 week and 2 days. but it feels like freaking 3 weeks. and he wont see me till the 14th (our 1 year and 8 month anniversary! yay!) cuz my mom read his journal that i have and read a walla go wut he said " today we took to the next stage if you know what i mean *wink wink*" but yeah my mom freaked out so ryan said we souldnt see each other for awhile. and even tho the other day my mom said she rly liked him and thought he was a good person and all that.. he still wont and he actually was gonna see me todai and go to the movies but my dad had to go to st augustine for some crap i dont even knoe so no one could take ussss... suuuxxxxxxxx
i got a new cell phone.. my other one dies it wouldnt even charge n e more. i spent like 10 dollars downloadin stuff already my dad is gonna get mad cuz i'm not supposed but o well.
and... o yeah i might get a job at nero's lenny is supposed to call me next week if i get the job.
but i'm gonna go watch spiderman 2 with kay and jenna now
so peace
<3

ahh i havent updated in awhile... im gettin lazy..

wednesday= me and ryann did our scene. we did so good she gave us an A+. same with kay and ju. went to the beach with kayla and ryann but we only were there for like 45 minutes they got bored. but like we were gettin rdy to leave and then sum chubby kid tries to talk to me and i wuz like ahhh go away but yeah. cute guys never hit on me. haha o well i dont care i alrdy got a man.

thursday= went to the st johns town center for the first time... haha me and kritstie went and we met up her mom at cheesecake factory for lunch. yummm

friday= last day of school... wow i cant believe it it didnt even kick in yet... our arts area party was off the chizzain it was pretty sweet i was so loud i was on a sugar high i had so many rice crispie treats and donuts and brownies ahaha ima fattie. it was fun and i took a bunch of pix theyre on my picture trail. well went to the beach with kristie, erin and ashley.. but b4 there was a little situatiion. some black dudes were throwin rocks at the portables during last period and then senora luna and this girl came out were like "we're gonna call the cops if u dont leave" so then they started throwin rocks at them and then sra luna and that girl went inside and the dudes kept throwin rocks and they smashed in the back winshield of katies car. she drove her sisters car to school that day cuz katie took kristies jeep.. so yeah the cops were there and filed a report and then we had to go all the way to arlington rd by my house to drop her car off at the shop and then we all got in ashleys car and drove to kristies to get the jeep and soime towels and then we finally got to the beach at 2:30. seemed like we were never gonna get there. there wasnt much sun left it was gettin cloudy so we didnt stay long but it was cool. we talked to the lifeguards for awhile and then we left and kristie and erin dropped me off at my dads office at the beach, which by the way is super sweet, and i hung out there for an hour. while it poured. i talked to aj and to ryan for a little but when i wuz there but then he had to go do sumthin. he didnt go to school instead he went to the beach with his friend jennifer again.. of course he doesnt wanna come to the beach with me.. i dont knoe y. so i was kinda upset that he would go with her more then once and not with me.. and ive been trying to get him to come to the beach with me for 2 years... so yeah.
but then i went to the loop and target with the rents and then i got home at like 8. ryan called like 4 times when i was gone but he doesnt call my cell phone n e more. makes me sad.. he's still grounded and his mom disconnected his cell phone... i wuz afraid to call his house cuz hes not allowed on the phone and i didnt want his mom to pick up... but she did and it was cool. at first she didnt let me talk to me when i asked her if he was there she was like "yeah hes in the shower but he's grounded" i wasnt sure if he was still or not so yeah and then me and her got to talkin and then me and her were laughing for a bit it was so funnie and i guess she got in a good mood cuz she wuz like "o hes out now and i'll let him talk to you" so yeah that was good. i kinda did most of the talking... o but then he was trying to tell me it was my fault we havent seen eachother cuz he coulda seen me all this week but i had plans and all this stuff and i wuz like well u coulda call me and told me u could i thought u couldnt. but o well. i rly wanna see him i rly miss him and now that its summer we should be able to see each other more often but i have feeling we wont for some reason and i dont want that to happen... but hes still grounded any ways....

and i've been up since 7 i couldnt go aback to sleep i had this dream with ryan in it and i havent been able to stop thinking about it since... yeah...

im gonna go

ok like ok...
yesterday was like toottaalllyy boring. i wanted to go to the beach with kristie but poor girl wasnt feelin so good soo yeah. so me and my mom hit it up at target and i got some stuff and then we went to cato and publix. perty boring stuff. i talked to ryan for like 5 minutes totall yesterday... sucked. i watched star wars episode 1 yesterday too. ah im a geek.
i talked to aj alot tho it was cool i suppose. we havent gotten to talk much lately so it was cool.

today was absolutely boring. i took my latin dancing thingy final todai and then we had a make up class! fun! lol yeah ms peck did jone'ts eyes crazy but they look rly pretty. i called ryan during B4 cause i was COMPLETELY bored cuz i didnt have to take the final.. but he got mad at me for something i said hurt him or sometimng i dunno and then he called me at like 3 and we talked for like 15 minutes and he was like "im gonna go" and i was like "why" and hes like "no reason" soo yeah i wuz like ook... but poor baby hurt his toe rly bad and all it was all bleeding and hurtin and junk. i should gone over there and took care of him but um yeah
im gonna go take care of my computer now cuz its messed up as fuck.

<3 yOu

ahh im upset... my dog has been outside for the past month because her hair is falling off her tail for some reason and my mom is "disgusted" with that soo yeah. and now my mom is saying she doesnt want her anymore and i need to find her somebody who wants a dog. and im very sad... i love my dog. and this will be the 2 time she has given away my dog cuz she didnt feel like putting up with her. first ruby, my cocker spaniel, and now bailey, well shes a mix of a bunch of stufff...
but yeah i have 30 more chemistry problems to make up for my practice final... hopefully ill get a 100 and it'll bring my grade up to an 89.6... A- baby. then i wont have to take my final! ahh im praying. and i have a bunch of geometry crap i have to do and ah i have all this stuff to doo.....

<3