so.
monday-- work
tuesday-- work/sick/ no valentine
wednesday--sick/ glamour shots with the girls/ prom dress shopping/ panera
today-- sick/no school/mona lisa smile/ tears/ called in sick for work

so on one note i would just like to mention a finding.
i think it is quite intriguing how you can say the same thing, to like almost 3 different people and expect no one to notice?
is it not genuine then?
are you trying the same concept with them to see which has the best outcome?
maybe you're so unoriginal that you cant think of different things to say, to explain how you feel.
or maybe the feelings arent really there and you are just fooling yourself to think that they are.
maybe, you say to one, what you say to the other hoping the one can replace the other because they hurt you so badly.
i just found this really interesting.
i will have further look into it.
♥

"is it dark yet?"
"yes."
"i like the dark."
"why?
"because, its quiet."

so today was early release, which made today a relatively ok day.
i got home and went straight to sleep. woke up at 4, called work, they didnt need me to come, so i went back to sleep and woke up at 6.
i am ridiculously tired... and i have the worst headache.
ive been feeling really weird lately like im not even here.
like i cant tell the difference between being awake and being asleep.
it weird.
but i definately do not feel well... im hoping im not sick.
i have so much homework its insane and i really need to get on that.
i have a physics test tomorrow and i'm freaking out.
ahh.

oh and im definately no doing anything on valentines day this year.
again.
♥

ew,
i cant even look at it,
its so ew.
makes me want to cringe actually.
makes me sick to my stomach.
its just the thought of it
makes me want to r u n
right
back
to
you.
♥

i dont want tomorrow to come...

lyricssssss

I used to know you like the back of my hand
Until today you held your place
Now you're shifting like the sand
Your chest would heave with pride if I were spoken of
'Till tonight I never knew the difference between comfort and love

Although you're sleeping right next to me
Well, it feels like you are wide awake in a distant dream
leading a life that is finally free
of these endless nights and countless fights that turn us into
who we hate to be

This is so difficult for the both of us
I know we tried so hard, there's just no hope for us
Well it's more than a shame that we lost to this game
All my walking, talking, sleeping, breathing -
nothing will ever be the same

I used to hold you like it's all that I had
Now begins the falling out, we are like a passing fad
Your mouth would crack a smile if I were spoken of
'Till tonight you never thought
you'd lose this epic battle with love

Although you're sleeping right next to me
Well, it feels like you are wide awake in a distant dream
leading a life that is finally free
of these endless nights and countless fights that turn us into
who we hate to be

And this is so difficult for the both of us
I know we tried so hard, there's just no hope for us
Well it's more than a shame that we lost to this game
All my walking, talking, sleeping, breathing -
nothing will ever be the same

For what it's worth, I've always admired you
I always thought that we could make it through
Now look what time can do
It took our masterpiece we built and broke it in two
I always believed in you
I always loved you

my mom wouldnt let me go to a super bowl party with the pacsuns
and that made me sad.
lol oh anywayssssss.
dont feel like going to school all this week,
blah
tomorrow is my induction thing for nhs and i dont feel like going my mom is making me go...
i feel a cold coming, yeah that definately suckssss.

so what you dont know how to call me anymore?
♥

sweet lyricssss

I had the notion that you'd make me change my ways
My bad habits would be gone in a matter of days
I had the feeling that you'd open up my eyes
To a whole new world that had since been in disguise

But that day will most likely never come for me
And it's just my luck to end up getting stuck
To everything you are

So tonight I'll sit and pick apart your pictures
And overanalyze your words
But the truth is that I've never fallen so hard
It's taking everything in me
Just to forget your sweater so far

I had the notion that you'd make me forget the world
But your undecisive mind shows me that
You are "just another girl"
I had the feeling that those looks you gave me were real
What if I ripped your heart apart at the seams
Maybe then you'd know how I feel

But that day will most likely never come for me
And it's just my luck to end up getting stuck
To everything you are

I can honestly say
That I never, ever, ever felt this way
Your lips, your eyelashes, your skin
These are the parts of your body
That cause my comatose to begin

I will sleep another day
I don't really need to anyway
What's the point when my dreams are infected
With words you used to say
I will breathe in a moment
As long as I keep my distance
I wouldn't want to go messing anything up

So don't go worrying about me
It's not like I think about you constantly
So maybe I do, but that shouldn't affect
Your life anymore
I knew it the moment you walked into the door

I'll let you get the best of me
Because there's nothing else that I do well
I'll let you get the best of me
Because there's nothing else that I do well
I'll be the giver and you'll be the taker
I guess that's how this one's gonna go I'll be the giver and you'll be the taker
You've got me down on my knees and I proclaim
All hail the heartbreaker

it was you i was thinking of.

well i guess now i know how you really feel.
i knoe now what were lies and what was the truth.
i have to admit i'm surprised
i never saw it coming even though i know i should've.
you decieved me
and i fell for it.
at least now my thoughts arent left to wonder.
♥

wellll
just got back from when a stranger calls.
i think it was really good but a couple of people who saw it as well said it wasnt that scary to them...
but i have never screamed that much in a movie in my life, and so was everyone else in the theatre.
hahaha it was me, kristie, kaylan, katie and patrick.
scarrryyyy shit let me tell you.
i'm tired, waiting for ryan to call.
but im too scared to go to sleep.
plus mad tv comes on in a minute.
gotta go to work tomorrow- 12-6:30
♥

i never said i'd lie and wait forever.
♥

every time i read it.
i swear
i cry.
♥

you push me up to this state of emergency.

work today.
got home a little while ago.
i tried to go shopping for emily and ryann's birthday presents but came home with little luck.
but i did get something
i dunno.
i should be doing my homework since i have a butload but i dont feel like it
and i have work again tomorrow....
im so bored i want to go watch tv but my mom has people over and theyre all out there and i would like to avoid the meaningless fake "so whats new in school?" conversation.
i wanted to hang out with ryan tonight,
but no such luck.
im...yeah...
♥

i wish i knew how to quit you
you're like a drug that has taken control
over me.

yucky day
first it rained
then it was hot and humind the rest of the day.
and i was sweaty and nasty all in dance.
tech for student choreography concert was today.
everyone should come
thrusday at 7:30.
i dont have much to say right now.
i feel kinda sick.
♥

the growing space between us
is like the vast ocean and the shore.
where i'll stand watching
your every move.
every wave rolling
and tide chage.
every silent minute
feels more alone.
every step apart
is a piece lost.
every thought of you
turns into a forgotten memory.
i cannot say i ever predicted this.
i never thought the shoreline would change
as you drift farther out to sea.
i remember when the leaves fell,
i thought the sky was falling.
but now the sun is setting.
creeping into the darkness.
♥

tell me
that we belong together.

lyrics

Sew this up with threads of reason and regret
So I will not forget. I will not forget
How this felt one year six months ago
I know I cannot forget. I cannot forget

I'm falling into memories of you,and things we used to do
Follow me there
A beautiful somewhere
A place that I can share with you

I can tell that you don't know me anymore
It's easy to forget, sometimes we just forget
And being on this road is anything but sure
Maybe we'll forget, I hope we don't forget

I'm falling into memories of you,and things we used to do
Follow me there
A beautiful somewhere
A place that I can share with you

So many nights, legs tangled tight
Wrap me up in a dream with you
Close up these eyes, try not to cry
All that I've got to pull me through is memories of you
Memories of you

I'm falling into memories of you ,and things we used to do
Follow me there
A beautiful somewhere
A place that we can share
Falling into memories of you, and things we used to do.