Suburban days, they last so long,
In shop and office,
We sing our song we all sing...
We ain't got nothing, nothing to do,
A big fat nothing, Nothing for me, Nothing for you...
Suburban dreams, Just out of reach,
Work til you die, that's what they teach you at school,
With that in mind, what's there to lose?
My friends and I, doped up on tv fags and booze.
Hear them all singing...
[CHORUS:]
We're the ones that you've forgotten,
But we will not be denied,
Coming out of the shadows,
We rock the satellites!
Suburban Nights, They get so hot,
People get angry, We sing our song we all sing...
A Global terror they say, We are at war,
But I ain't got time for that cos,
These bills keep dropping through my door
[CHORUS:]
We're the ones that you've forgotten,
Out of mind, out of sight,
Coming out of the shadows,
We rock the satellites!
All these people who, criticize us,
We're only saying what we're seeing with our own eyes..
This one way system, It ain't - It ain't paradise,
Not everybody, Wants to race, wants to fight...
Hear them all singin...
[CHORUS:]
We're the ones that you've forgotten,
But we will not be denied,
Coming out of the shadows,
We rock the satellites!
We're the ones that you've forgotten,
Out of mind out of sight,
Coming out of the shadows,
Coming live via satellite...
I think my Ego has some issues to talk to me about. Its growing too big for its own good. Its attempts to satisfy both my superego and id just fails. It overcompensates both and ends up rushing into recovery mode. The superego and the id just end up bashing the ego together making a mess in my head. Neither of the two parts is getting what it wants because the ego fucked up. It doesnt know how to tag things on one side and make the other end understand its meaning. This sersious lack of inner correspondence is my fault. My black hole. Every problem it eats only makes the hole grow and become worse.
When do i get my cut in this process? when do i get to let go of the leash making this mess?
If you want me to just cut my losses and start over, then fucking give me a sign about what to do once Ive cut and run.
Most days it feels like its the same ole' crappy song on repeat.
Doesn't matter how hard I try to repatch, cope, or ignore the issues, they don't go away, for good.
She doesn't see the hurt she causes.
I am starting to think she is incapable of feeling anything.
Which would be making excuses for her, and that is the last thing I want to do.
But with her, I never get to do what I want.
Lets face it, she makes me feel quilty, and I cave.
I can tell her how it is, be a royal bitch to her, and she still makes me feel guilty.
Why?
Why does she always turn it back on me?
Will she ever stop?
I'd cut ties with her, but would that really do any good, for anyone?
I don't care about hurting her, or myself.
It's the rest of my family I am worried about.
I can't stop asking myself what we did to deserve this.
Growing up the way we did.
Not everything was bad, but not everything was good thats for sure.
Each one of us had to witness different things, and as time went on, they got worse.
She drank more.
And more.
The fighting was worse between her and Jim, than it ever was with my dad.
At least, thats the way it seems to me.
Even though I was 11 when my parents split, a lot of the memories of them being together is a blur.
Not because they are bad, or I am trying to repress them, it's because I do not remember.
I vaguely remember when my parents were happy.
When I was at the age where I would be able to remember, it was probably just a show anyway.
There are bad moments that I do remember, but I feel like they are a dream.
I wish they were a dream.
I wish the drinking would stop, the drugs, the promiscuity.
All of it. I wish she would realize what she has before she loses it, again.
I know that I shouldn't care as much as I do, because I moved out.
I left and moved on with my life.
I want her to be a normal mom.
I want her to actually care.
Not ignore her kids because she just doesn't want to talk to anyone.
It's pathetic.
1. That's right. Luke Skywalker. Before the sci-fi haters come out of the woodwork to crucify me, take a deep breath and listen to my reasoning. Here are some of the things we know about Luke:
* He lives on a patch of dirt in the middle of nowhere
* He has lots of beat-up vehicles in his front yard
* He's a greasemonkey
* He likes to make out with his sister
* He lives with his aunt and uncle ‘cause his dad killed his mom
Luke Skywalker is the classic definition of white trash. And, by definition, he is the prototypical redneck. Keep in mind he lived in a galaxy far, far away eons before we earthlings even climbed out of our evolutionary puddle.
If anything we should love Luke more, not less. He's the classic example of pulling oneself up by one's bootstraps. Luke is the poster child for Republicanism – and, at the same time, embodies liberal ideals. He could give Obama a real run for his money and kick McCain's ass at the same time – with no hands, to boot.
In the end, Luke is proof that it's not the vehicle you drive or the parents you have, but what's inside that makes a true hero. Although it doesn't hurt if you have a lightsaber and a robotic hand.
I got to see my nephew the last few days and probably will see him again today..
I am very happy about that, but i dont like the circumstances behind it.
He is getting so big and learning so much, and I miss a lot of it.
And he looks so much like my sister, but he changes more and more each time I see him.
It has been a long stressful, packed week.
I'm not even sure what kind of crap there is going to have to be done tomorrow when I go back to work.
I know there was a lot to be done when I left on wednesday.
Going through pictures, seeing my whole family in pain, the visitations and the funeral were hard.
And even though all of those events took place, and I mourned, I don't know if I mourned completely.
I still don't feel like it really happened, like I am completely numb on the inside.
I know that she is gone and won't be coming back.
But it feels like she is on vacation and I just have to wait a couple weeks before I see her again.
And apparently my mom likes to share her germs, because Friday I started feeling really sick, and started to lose my voice.
So yesterday, I spent all day in bed, except for 2 hours.. I went to bed at midnight saturday morning, slept til 2:30, was awake for maybe an hour, then slept til 9, was awake until 12:00, and then slept until 10 this morning.
But I definitely needed it, and I am feeling better today.
