yuck. i took a nap for like an hour and a half tonight and woke up half way through american idol. boo. my head hurts too cuz i jumped out of bed when i saw the clock. i feel like shit my friends, like shit. and carmen rasmusen was HORRIBLE tonight. I'm having trouble lately moving on from something cuz i cant get away and its bothering me because i cant let things effect me. and i'm going to tennessee in a day and when i'm up there i always think about things, i'm going to have a relapse. damn my heart. damn my feelings, damn my love. sorry for such a short entry but i have some sleep to finish. i leave you with this:



"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep at night because your reality is finally better then your dreams."

-Dr. Suess

Oh man am I sick. I have a nasty cold. i've been trying to hide it and pretend that i'm fine because i NEVER get sick. i'm invincible. i'm a super hero!! the only time i get sick is when i'm in cold weather, thats my weakness, but its not cold outside and i'm still sick! ugh and i can't sing either, i'm losing my voice, which i also never do. boo this. today was a rough day, i was in a good mood mostly all day except during lunch i got a little down due to some circumstances. i was up until 1am last night doing that damn research paper. boo research papers. today i realized i really want a sibling or two. like siblings my age or older. i've always wanted an older sister. i need some one to take care of me cuz i'm sick! my mom is in tennessee and my dad is a dad. i need a girl to take care of me. if i dont get well soon i'm gonna shoot myself, this sucks so badly!! well i'm too sick to write anymore. I leave you with a music man quote



Charlie: "I don't believe I caught your name."

Harold: "I don't believe I dropped it."

well i just got home from Music Man rehearsal. I didnt get the lead but the guy who got it is really good so i'm not really upset about it. I'm still just excited to be in the show. I love all the people in the show, they are so great!! so i'm in a pretty good mood tonight. Ummmmmm people i havent talked to in a while IMed me tonight, a couple of them. it was odd. brought back old feelings and such. made me a little emotional. boo emotions. so i'm going to tennessee this thursday, my grandma is dying of cancer. yes thats right cancer. i dont want to go because i cant handle things like this. new subject. i went to coldstones for the first time today! it wasnt what i expected, i thought there would be big cold stones there, like a stone counter and such, but no there are NO stone counters. i dont know what to do with myself, i think i said that last night but i dont remember. i miss having a girlfriend, i do. asldfkjaiov. still looking for that girl that intrigues and spellbinds me. i found someone close to that but due to past circumstances nothing can happen with her. boo that. boo everything. i'm not depressed or anything if you think that, i've been in an amazing mood lately! these are just thoughts in my subconcious that i let out in this online whorehouse! well its time for an end. COME SEE THE MUSIC MAN!! GOODNIGHT AND GOD SPEED.

well this is my online journal which i will probably forget about in a week or so. but that doesnt mean you shouldnt check it for updates. ok so i had my first rehearsal for The Music Man in West Palm Beach today, but i dont find out my part until tomorrow. hurray. the people in the cast are really great, most of them are in their 20s. i love working with adults. there is a very hot girl in the cast that i'd like to get with but shes probably too old for me, although age has never stopped me in the past. man i am so bored, i dont know what to do with myself. i am waiting for something great to happen to me, something just amazing, or i'm waiting for something to occur to keep me busy. i'm tired of all the girls in my life (romantic interests, not friends) and i'm waiting for a girl to walk into my life, a girl that really intrigues me, who just spellbinds me. unfortunately this girl probably lives in california, with the rest of my life. well my life is pretty good right now, i cant really complain, the only thing i can complain about is school which is still wasting my time. In the seven hours that i go to school each day i could be doing something that might actually have a factor on the world, i might be able to do something great, instead of daydreaming about it in class. boo class. man some people really get on my nerves, people who arent original, people who are followers, people who think they are cool but are really just stupid, or people who think they are funny but are just cliched and dumb. i'm fed up with some people and just wish they'd graduate and luckily they are graduating this year. so long idiots, go live your lives away from me and dont ever come back to see me, because i dont ever want to see you again. AND I END THIS JOURNAL WITH THE THOUGHT OF THE NIGHT - "Tigers eat people."

GOODNIGHT