:: 2004 30 April :: 12.11 am

Sanocki project may be going well. I have most of my powerpoint done and just have to tweak it, which I can take care of 2nd, 4th, 5th, and 6th hours if necessary. Right now it's a bit wordy, so I may have to take care of that. I don't have a speech though, so Sunday night I'll be doing that last minute (I present monday - with Alexa, Bill, and Dan! geeze). Tomorrow I'm going to The King & I with Katie. Saturday I should study calculus (but probably won't). Then I'm going to Fremont's prom that night with Amanda. I hope I can have fun, and not worry too much about my ap exams. Sunday's when I really gotta cram for calc. Plus, we have a calc review at school, but I'll need to come with questions, which means I have to review beforehand. I'm not too worried about the ap english exam, although I scored a 37.5% on the practice multiple choice. I need to improve my essay writing time because I've taken more than the 40 mintues for my last two practice essays. I really wanna do well on these ap exams, but if I don't, I guess it's not the end of the world (..."as we know it" - sorry, couldn't resist). I think it's safe to assume that I'll be much more relived after thursday afternoon. All I have left to do for school after that I get in touch with my senior seminar contacts and job shadow. It's starting to get real...

Do you want to play with fire?

:: 2004 28 April :: 1.22 am

Earlier today I had about 3 crappy slides and 2 good ones (that includes my title page!), yet now I have 23 unifinished - but highly potential - slides. The power went out for about an hour, and I thought I'd surely be screwed, but it came back on around 10:00pm. Now, my powerpoint is too big to fit on the disk. I guess I'll have to email it to Mr. Caroll. Oh yeah, I think I might fail the AP calc exam, but there's a decent chance that I can get a 4 on the AP english exam.

Do you want to play with fire?

:: 2004 26 April :: 8.24 pm

I just got back from my scholarship interview at the Muskegon Community Foundation. A bunch of people from Catholic were there, like troy, jake, dan, and alexa, and a lot more students were there as well. I was one of the first to be interviewed by a Ms. Farmer and a Ms. Olson. Fortuneately, Ms. Farmer grew up in Chicago and Ms. Olson's brother is currently the dean of LUC's med school, so I think they were impressed by my school of choice. They seemed really impressed by my GPA and activities, although I'm don't feel that my grades and so forth are THAT impressive. Some of the questions they asked me included: What obstacles have you overcome in choosing a college? Why did you choose Loyola? What book has had a lasting impression on you? How do you want us to remember you when you leave here tonight? If you couldn't major in marketing, what would you major in? Have you ever thought about NOT going to college? That's all I can remember for now. I think they liked my answers, but I didn't ask them any questions. I don't even know when we're notified of our scholarships. Troy told me it might be at Baccaluareate (yeah, I can't spell that word).

Do you want to play with fire?

:: 2004 25 April :: 1.45 pm
:: Mood: aggravated

Today really sucks. I have a headache because I had a million dreams last night and my brain would not shut up! I want to sleep, but I can't fall asleep. I have to go to church today, even though my dad refuses to go. My mom is being a controlling dictator. She "ordered" me to go to the store and buy bagels and when I declined said she refused to do any more shopping. Well, maybe that would matter if she actually went shopping in the first place! Seriously, all past week I'm on the one who went to the store most of the time to buy food. Then my mom complains when my dad buys cheap, crappy food. Which I'll admit, it is very cheap, very crappy food, but still...we had no food in the house! Family life only gets better with my dad around the house. He's almost as bad as my mom except he doesn't really bitch about things, he just orders us to do stuff. Plus, he asks me all these annoying questions about rainbow auction. That's okay, but the worst is when he asks "What food did they serve?" Okay, Pig, does it matter? Right now he's talking to me like I'm watching that stupid star trek movie he's watching, but guess what?...I'm NOT! No matter how many times I tell him that, he still has this need to say random stuff. Maybe he's just talking to himself. As for rainbow auction last night...remind me never to be a waiter. Standing in one spot for 4 hours got really old really fast. None of my tables wanted to bid very much anyways, so there was very little excitment. To top off my already GREAT sunday, I'm supposed to work like crazy on my sanocki project. You know, as much as I need the calc review, I'm thinking I might be sick one day next week.

Do you want to play with fire?

:: 2004 24 April :: 1.36 pm

Rent is awesome! I loved how modern, in-depth, controversial, and sexual all the characters were. The music was great, too. I'm think I'm gonna look on ebay for the soundtrack b/c I didn't have $36 last night, especially after emily and I didn't get the front row $20 tickets. We got to Grand Rapids around 4:25, but because we took so long finding a parking spot (which was ridicuously priced) we didn't get to the box office until 4:50. We ended up getting $30 seats way up in the balcony. They really weren't that bad, but you couldn't see the actors faces or the details of the stage that well. After intermission, emily and I headed downstairs and got some amazing seats in the front (no one was sitting there). That close, the show was even more awesome! Before Act II started I found Katie and her friends, who decided to join us at our newfound seats. Afterwards, some of the actors like Mark, Roger, and Collins were in front of the DeVos, so we got congratulate them on a good show. Overall, Roger, Mimi, and Mark were my favorite characters. I liked all the songs, but my faovirte might've been the "Tango Maureen." So after the show, emily and I headed to 28th street. Because it was college night at the orbit room and I had no money, we headed to Wendy's - at least it was in GR. Coming home was kinda funny because I ended up in Pierson which is like northwest of Muskegon, about an hour! At a gas station we found out how to get back to muskegon, but we had to go through cedar springs and drive ALLL the way down apple. I thought we could just skip that exit and go to the next one maybe, but NO! When we finally stopped at a gas station, we were 15 miles from GR and 46 from Muskegon!!! I called my dad and he told me I needed to get on 96 West, so we drove for a bit, found that, and got home. My dad's not going to let me live that down for a while. But hey - I didn't know that 131 and 31 were different!

1 burn | Do you want to play with fire?

:: 2004 23 April :: 12.59 am

I want everyone who reads this to ask me three questions. No more and no less. Ask me anything you want. Then, copy and paste this into your Journal allowing the people that read yours to ask you anything, too.

6 burns | Do you want to play with fire?

:: 2004 22 April :: 7.43 pm

I just got back from my second interview at sears. How'd it go? Well, I really don't know. This is the second time where they've made it seem that they're willing to hire me. The part where I may have ruined it? The guy was telling me that he'd want me to come in soon and complete training in a week so that I could get started as soon as possible. He asked if he was "scaring" me, to which I replied, "No, but my only concern is that I'm busy in the next two weeks." Busy with what? he asked. School and AP exams. Solution? He told me to give him a call when I "free up" and if the spot's still open "we'll talk." I really want a job, but right now I need the time to study for AP and work on my sanocki project. If I don't get the job at sears, I guess it's just meant to be. I'm like to work there, but their expecations kind of scare me. Basically, I'd have to comprimise my morals...sort of. I believe sales reps should be honest with the customer, not trying to "trick" them into buying a service plan that they really don't need. I guess it comes down to surival of the fittest. In other news, Shepich asked me to be a councelor for 6th grade camp, but I had to turn it down when I found out it was during both AP exams. I stopped by the Foundation Office today and found out I'm going to be a spotter for Rainbow Auction. Basically, I get to stand by a bunch of rich people and hold up a flashlight when they want to bid on something...I don't think it'll be a bad experience. Lastly, we got report cards yesterday. I think I got a 3.94? I got an A minus in calc, which I guess I deserve. The thing that sucks, though, is that that's going to be our final grade in the class. Enough nerd talk..I gotta read Oedipus Rex..fun.

Do you want to play with fire?

:: 2004 21 April :: 11.03 pm

Tonight I did some research for my world studies project and read through some of my information. Now I'm not feeling AS overwhelmed, although I'm having second thoughts about my scenerio, which pretty much is that the U.S. wants to balance its trade deficit with China. I must admit it's not the best scenerio, especially after I found out that Alan Greenspan was for normal trade relations with China. Besides, I watched a more interesting documentary tonight on China's environmental damages due to their rapid increase in autos, burning of coal, and other consumptive behaviors. I think at the beginning some weather specialist said that all the pollutants in China's air reach us. That's not a good thing. When I was in Beijing, we weren't sure if it was just really foggy there or highly polluted. Now I know. In other news, I was doing stupid, funny stuff in yearbook today, like suggesting that the title of our senior all night party be this: "Got Sand Up Your Cooter? You Must've Been at the All Night Party." I also wrote an inappropriate story about what Kenesha will experience there. During 6th hour (where I was planning to do my calculus), Mrs. Alexander asked to borrow me from Dornbos so that I could help her cut ribbon for rainbow auction. I didn't appreciate the fact that I was ordered to help, but nevertheless, it wasn't bad. I got to work with Sara Brush, who's pretty nice. I am getting credit for hardly doing anything, so maybe this balances the universe out. Well, I gotta do some more work on sanocks....tomorrow's a half day.

Do you want to play with fire?

:: 2004 20 April :: 10.54 pm

I've concluded: I'm not going to shoot myself before May 12th. No...I'm going to explode. We started reviewing calc today. I was doing okay until we got homework: some practice AP free-response questions. I have no idea where to begin on them. At least I got to watch an interesting documentary on PBS tonight. It was about the exploding population. If trends continue, we could have 11 billion people by 2050. The only thing, India and Africa will have most of the young people, so the U.S., China, and Japan will be little more than a bunch of old farts. My mom has really been getting on my nerves lately. Today she accused me of being bitter. Hmm, I wonder why? I'm just mad at the world right now. Hopefully things will cool off soon. God, I feel ilke a self-centered, disillusioned little boy. I tell myself I have it so bad off, but then I watch documentaries like the one on PBS where HIV infected teenagers have to take care of their 4 orphaned brothers. And I thought I had it bad?

Do you want to play with fire?

:: 2004 20 April :: 1.26 am

"Historically, planned economies have done a much worse job of stimulating econimic growth and creating a higher standard of living for their citizens than capitalist econimies have."

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 36.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions

Do you want to play with fire?

:: 2004 20 April :: 1.07 am

I feel like a retarded procrastinator. Sanocki told us about the project March 11th. It's April 19th and I hardly know what I'm doing. Tonight I re-read the direction packet and grading sheet. Totally forgot we had to have an internet link, 3 factors of politcal decision making, and A SOLUTION! This weekend is the only weekend I have to work on it but 1) I'm busy friday and saturday and 2) I'm retarded and will procrastinate further. Hopefully I'll get it done in time (next friday) but for now I'm starting to stress out about it. On top of that, I got AP exams to start worrying about. Those are about two weeks away. Today we wrote a practice essay in english, and that pretty much sucked. In calculus we took a practice exam. Out of 10 problems I got maybe...2 right? Just shoot me now and put me out of my misery (okay, I don't really wanna be shot, but I'm going to need dinvine intervention if I'm going to get so much as a 3 on either of the AP exams - though I'm really need a 4 for college credit). In other news, I helped set up for Rainbow Auction tonight. TJ and I went around the freshmen hallway putting up duct tape. fun stuff. Katelyn, Andrea, and Alexa were there as well. And let me just say: people who have big mouths are reallly annoying. Do they ever stop talking? I'll admit, however: it was kinda funny to overhear Alexa and Katelyn talking about bra sizes. "Yours are bigger than mine." LOL. First hour is going to suck because brooks refuses to let us watch "Jesus Christ Superstar" any longer, so I better hit the hay.

2 burns | Do you want to play with fire?

:: 2004 18 April :: 11.35 pm

I swear I have an OCD or something. If not that, then extreme procrastination. Sometimes I just get in these moods where I need to clean stuff. After lying around the house today (I tried to take a nap, but couldn't) I became supercharged and just started doing stuff. I went to Meijer's and even bought and made dinner for the family. When I started winding down, getting bored, I had a thought that I should do homework, but....NOPE...I did some more cleaning. I think I was productive, but not in the things I should've been. This sanocki project will stress me out. I'm going to irgnore it until the last minute and then I'm going to get an ulcer and DIE. Tonight Amanda called me and asked me to her prom. We talked for a minute and then decided she'd get back to me with the info. That will be a kind of hectic weekend for me since I need that time to cram for AP, but I know I'll need a break too. I'm happy she asked me though. It's werid because she sounds a lot like jill on the phone! I think I'm getting another sty (ugh!) so I'm gonna go heat up a wet rag.

Do you want to play with fire?

:: 2004 17 April :: 12.49 am

Having computer problems, so I hope this doesn't mess up on me. Well, I went for my first (job) interview ever. I'd have to say that it well nicely. They were actually the ones unprepared, so that made me feel a little comfortable I guess. The lady that interviewed me seemed to like me...the resume really helped. Sears is hiring for their electronics dept. and home&garden. Right now, my primary interest is electronics, although they work by commission, which could be a bad or good thing. I at least need a foot in the door, and maybe this could be it. Afterwards I went to Katie F's house. Her, Katie T., and I went to the Grand Haven pier and got some ice cream. Wen went back to katie's and watched Intolerable Cruelty. It's an okay movie. I had fun chilling with Katie and Katie. Right now my eye hurts, and I hope I'm not getting a sty!!!

Do you want to play with fire?

:: 2004 15 April :: 11.14 pm

Today was actually a good day. I took my last (high school) calculus quiz ever. There was so much stuff to remember that I blanked out a few times but remembered stuff towards the end. Right after I turned in my test though, I realize I made some stupid mistakes. This evening we went to Olive Garden to celebrate my sister's birthday. We haven't been out to dinner as a family in a long time, plus my mom's back on her meds so that was nice. She made an inappropriate joke, though, by saying she had to sell her body to make the money to pay for dinner. Then my dad added something to the effect that she had to sell her body multiple times. Wow, lol. Then we went to JC Penny where my mom bought me some new dress clothes. I'm gonna look spiffy tomorrow for my first interview. I'm not really nervous now, but I know I will be tomorrow. I gotta somehow stay cool and collected. I'd really like to work at Sears. My dad even made me get my hair cut tonight. It's kinda short, but now I can spike it again. I suppose I should start my homework, though for once, I don't have that much.

Do you want to play with fire?

:: 2004 14 April :: 10.42 pm

Okay, answer me this: Should two people be infatuated with one another in order to develop a deeper relationship? Just when I was beginning to think not, someone I was talking to today kinda suggested it (although not really). The problem I have is that sometimes I like one person, and sometimes I don't. Maybe I should take the risk and see where I end up. I think the worst thing is to regret something you didn't do rather than something you did. But I know for sure i"m not a risk taker. I was thinking about my career choice today. I'm going into marketing. What I'd really like to do is be an actor, but the problem is there is no security there; it is too much of a risk. Maybe I can do it on the side and see where I go from there. Friday I got an interview at Sears. Tomorrow I have to go buy some dress clothes and maybe I'll get a haircut..hasn't been cut in 4 months.

1 burn | Do you want to play with fire?