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2003 25 August :: 1.50 pm
My heart is beating hard, I am taking in shorter, more rapid breaths, and I have the same feeling in chest as last night. Only this time, I know why: I got in a car accident. I am disappointed to know that I deserved such a huge wake up call to make me realize that speeding on wet roads isn't wise. I was going down Laketon, hoping to make my way to subway to meet some people for lunch when I saw the car in front of mine's break lights. I slammed on my breaks, but could not stop. Next thing I know, I am starring at an airbag, hearing my horn blasting off, and breathing in this horrific smoke. Immediately I get out of my car. I look around as I hold my face. The impact into the airbag was rough; my face felt as if someone punched it, but I was not bleeding. As soon as I realize where I am, I go over to the car I hit only to see my classmate, Brian O'keefe at the wheel. He appears okay, so I go back to the bystanders who are asking me if I'm okay. "I think, I dunno" is my reply. Again I go over to Brian's car and ask him if he's okay, which he confirms. Both my airbags went off, my review mirror detached, my horn died out, and I'm sure there were many smaller damages. Brian's right rear end was crushed in and his car wouldn't start; who knows what other damanges. In the end, I got a ticket for "basic speeding" which included damaging property. Mrs. O'Keefe was nice enought to ensure that I was alright and to follow me home while I drove my car, holding the airbag in. I'm still a little shaken up. I can tell that my dad is disappointed that I damaged the car and that he'll have to dish out $500-1000 for repairs. I told him that that was a lot better than having to pay $5,000-10,000 for a funeral or settlement money to any victims. Now I'm just sitting here, holding ice up to my lip (Brian didn't tell me of any injures; I only sustained minor ones such as this droopy lip that makes my usually calm, emotionless face look worried and this rash-like thing on my hand that burns like crazy.) What a crappy start to the school year!
4 burns |
Do you want to play with fire? |
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2003 24 August :: 11.28 pm
Grasping my chest, I feel as if I can't breathe...only I can. Is this what an anxiety attack feels like? I don't know. School does start tomorrow. I don't have my summer reading done, but it's not due until next week. I feel warm. I wanted to have more accomplished before this. I want to take back the summer and re-do it with more motivation rather than laziness. I want to spontaneously combust!
1 burn |
Do you want to play with fire? |
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2003 23 August :: 11.41 pm
:: Mood: kinda disturbed
:: Music: goldfinger "is she really going out with him"
*shakes head in disgust*
In my own HOUSE, on my COUCH, with me HERE! Just to clarify, they did NOT have sexual intercourse in my bathroom! Whew, that's a relief! To move past THAT part of my day...I woke up with two rather interesting dreams. The first one was at my family reunion, and appearently I was related to a few people from school (that's kinda scary). That was pretty much that dream. Now, the second was some kind of american travel tour with pretty much the same people from the Europe Trip. We were in America and yet we saw some dead black guys being carried off in stretchers, funeral procession style (I can blame my summer reading for that aspect!). Next thing I know, we're all in some church basement. I sit down on a couch even though I don't really "know" anyone on it (translation: it's a bunch of preps). Soon thereafter, the girl sitting next to me is being, shall we say, excessively friendly and...cuddling me?? Weird.
3 burns |
Do you want to play with fire? |
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2003 22 August :: 11.51 pm
Construction on 131 South took me from 70 mph to 1 mph.
I need to buy some school clothes.
I need to read my book.
I went mini-golfing tonight.
My dad's not working the 5 weeks after all (he got home tonight).
Michael Moore is great.
So is Bowling for Columbine.
I wasted 2 hours of my life watching Solaris.
3 days until school starts.
3 burns |
Do you want to play with fire? |
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2003 21 August :: 8.16 pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: trust company "downfall"
Sitting by myself, not saying a word, bored as all heck...is this what next year will be like? Orientation at musk. community college tonight sucked ass. I didn't even win a free t-shirt or gift certificate for the bookstore! All I got was a planner and bunch of pamphlets. I should've taken nikki's word for it, that it was boring. Boring, but not a total waste of time. It was informative, I'll give it that. I also bumped into the guy who builds our sets for play. (I couldn't remember his name for the life of me.) He told me about auditions for this play "Worked." I don't know if I'll give it a go or not. Hmm...At least I have my service hours for the first semster done. Nick and I finished up our volunteer work in the library today (9 hours for me and I got in an hour last week for taking some pictures for Matu). Not to forget, I also met the new german exhange student, Anne, in the library. She shockingly looks like Insa from two years ago.
1 burn |
Do you want to play with fire? |
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2003 20 August :: 10.29 pm
:: Mood: bi-polar
You know, according to popular belief (of the general public) I think I may in fact be bi-polar. Overall, I'd say I had a good day, yet the happiness has reversed itself to some degree. I'm not sad necesarily...I just don't know what I am. If you've ever seen the movie Rebel Without a Cause, I could almost compare myself to the character Plato - for obvious reasons. (How could you drive a car with THREE wheels?? lol, I crack myself up sometimes) Earlier today I got to see who's all in yearbook. All I can say is it's going to be in interesting year! Actually, I'm not too worried, I think this will be a good year...and just watch me be let down.
Do you want to play with fire? |
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2003 20 August :: 2.28 am
:: Music: dashboard confessionals "again I go unnoticed"
There are other sides to this box we call perception. Where to begin? For starters, nick, emily, emily's friend, and I were planning to go bowling. Andre and jami stopped by 5 minutes before I was leaving. I told them to come bowling, but they acted weird. They show up at bowling but ignore us. I leave bowling and find a construction cone in my car with the words "cone theif" scribbled into it. I come home and find out that "annoymous person X" left messages on my voicemail which were sarcastic in tone. At that point, I was a little pissed/agitated because in my mind, this person did not have a right to be mad at me. Well...after a much-needed conversation, getting kicked off, and continuing the coversation, I've learned otherwise. In truth, as a beatle's song goes "there is nothing to get hung about." In other words, we have nothing to be mad for/at/with. I guess everyone sticks to their own perceptions and then when push comes to shove, they don't know what's wrong. I was thinking the exact same thing about my friend that he was thinking about me. Thus, I was mad at him while he was mad at me, and it makes no sense. Maybe things can get better.
2 burns |
Do you want to play with fire? |
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2003 19 August :: 1.20 am
This is why people need to stay up to date on current events: the government is busting people on kazaa. I have over 600 music files in my shared directory and I have 10 songs to be downloaded. The 600 songs is what scares me most. I'm going to move them or something. Also, my dad doesn't know if he's working 5 days or 5 weeks. It's weird without him here, but still nice.
2 burns |
Do you want to play with fire? |
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2003 19 August :: 12.15 am
:: Mood: blah
Not feelin' good : (
I tried reading my book, honestly I did...but after less than 40 pages, it put me to sleep. It's not even that terrible of a book, it's just realllllllly hard for me to get through. I woke up around 11:00 pm and felt like shit. After drinking some Icee and eating a little debbie, famous amos cookies, and half a bag of lifesaver gummies...I still feel shitty, but a little better.
Do you want to play with fire? |
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2003 18 August :: 4.53 pm
It's weird. my house smells like tabaco, and yet, no one smokes.
Do you want to play with fire? |
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2003 18 August :: 3.19 am
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: anything by dashboard confessionals
I have one more week before my freedom (which I have often taken for granted this summer) is taken away. So I want this to be the best week possible. I guess it was off to a nice start. To add a sense of spontinuity and calmness, my dad got a call yesterday at 3:00 pm. There was work for him in Detroit, working 12 hour shifts for Detroit-Edison, the power company down there. He left at 3:45 pm. And he won't return "for a week." I really should be sleeping now, but it was incredulously hot in the upstairs. Tomorrow (today) I have to get up early and do some volunteer work at the library (unsure if I really do get service hours though). I also have to pay for my college class or else *gasps* I might not get in. All I can say, is I hope this is a good year.
3 burns |
Do you want to play with fire? |
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2003 16 August :: 12.10 am
:: Mood: happy
What a fun, yet errie day. Jami and Jill came and picked me up for lunch and talked to my mom for a while. Then I went to the mall with them and just kind of looked around. Emily came by later and we just hung out. Nick was grounded otherwise he would've come. When I got back from taking emily to TCBY and the park, Jami and Jill were over...TALKING TO MY MOM! WEIRD! lol
4 burns |
Do you want to play with fire? |
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2003 15 August :: 1.19 am
:: Mood: content
Not too bad. Tonight I picked up Scott and his friend and we went to the beach to meet up with Nikki and all the other people that were coming. Jami and Jill made me go watch this guy on the deck playing his guitar and singing, but that was pretty cool. We went back to nikki's for a while. And now I'm tired.
Do you want to play with fire? |
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2003 14 August :: 9.48 am
:: Mood: nerdy
So if you think I'm a nerd now, just wait until school starts
Yes, I am feeling nerdy right now. I just got back from the counceling office and I have my offical school schedule for this year. I feel really guilty, though, because I dropped physics and now I'm not taking any science class at all. I feel like my senior year isn't overwhelming enough, and in a way I want to sign up for Anatomy so I won't feel like such a slacker. Anyways, here's my schedule for the first semester:
01 Justice & Peace (religion)
02 World Studies
03 AP English
04 Yearbook
05 Personal Finance
06 French 2
07 AP Calculus
I'm at least taking 2 AP classes, so it's not that bad. Plus, I'm taking a Business Intro at Community. Additionally, I figured out that I should graduate with 28 credits, even though we only need 24. This morning I read over Northwestern's financial information and I think it's very affordable for me to go there. It costs around $40,000 a year, but they give you so much financial aide that you're pretty much set.
1 burn |
Do you want to play with fire? |
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2003 13 August :: 8.48 pm
We just got back from Chicago, I'm tired, and I think my head is spinning from one too many caffine pills combined with the fact that I've gotten 1 hour of sleep in the past 32 hours. Chicago was estranged to me because I haven't been there in about 10 years and remembered none of it. It's still cool though. I liked some things about Northwestern University such as the size of the school, how they were on "quarters" instead of semesters, and how you can't major in business but instead can take a whole lot of fun electives. On the other hand, I didn't have an immediate click with the school, the same feeling I had with NYU and Fordham. I'll still apply though and see what happens. On our way back, we drove by Loyola University, which is right smack downtown Chicago. I want to check that out and see if that's any fun.
2 burns |
Do you want to play with fire? |
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